2019

Last year's playoff loss at the hands of Big Tex's Pillow Biters might still be ringing in Coach Don Zimmerman's ears, but they got some measure of revenge this week. DenBro demolished Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 81 to 46. No big surprise seeing DenBro get the win, as they were the biggest favorite of any team this week.

DenBro were led by the running back tag team of Christian McCaffrey and Marlon Mack, who together racked up 39 points. McCaffrey contributed a 22 point performance, which topped all but four players this week.1 He showed just how strong he really is by keeping his balance after contact and stretching across the goal line for the touchdown.

Coach Zimmerman's squad overcame poor performances from O.J. Howard and Davante Adams (zero points combined) in getting this win. Adams did the worst of any player drafted in the first round.2

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters were having trouble reaching paydirt, getting into the end zone only one time. That was the lowest TDs total of any team this week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters suffered from four zeros in that category, one of which came from Eric Ebron.

Next week will see DenBro taking on the 0 - 1 Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will be playing The Brainers.

Black Micahs took Alcoholniks out of the playoffs last year, and went ahead and rubbed some salt in that wound this week. In the only close game this week, they just barely got past Alcoholniks, winning 70 to 69.

The rest of Coach Micah Russell's team were basically spectating, as Patrick Mahomes, Harrison Butker, and Chris Carson combined for 76% of Black Micahs' points. Butker scored 17 points, which were the most that any kicker collected this week. He was perfect for KC, connecting on four extra points and all four of his field goal attempts.

Black Micahs overcame bad performances from three players: Tyreek Hill, Tevin Coleman, and Cooper Kupp, who collectively came up with 4 points. The Cheetah likely escaped a serious injury that would require surgery after being carted off the field Sunday but is expected to miss a few weeks with a shoulder injury.

Coach Nick Claeboe can look to Joe Mixon and Anthony Miller when passing out blame for the loss. The two combined to score zero points. Mixon scored zero points, which were fewer than every other running back this week.

Next week will see Black Micahs taking on the 0 - 1 Pinko Commie Bastards. Pinko Commie Bastards not only lost this week, but scored fewer points than any other team. Meanwhile, Alcoholniks will collide with Zombie Werewolves.

SkinFan took on Pinko Commie Bastards two times last year and won each time. The result this week then, was not surprising. SkinFan strolled past Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 53 to 33. Big time luck for SkinFan in this contest, as they would have lost against all but one other team.

Coach Tim Fabrizio used early draft picks on Dalvin Cook and Keenan Allen, and they came through for them this week. Cook scored 17 points, while Allen scored 12. Cook bullied the Atlanta defense all day to the tune of 111 rushing yards and two touchdown runs.

Given their low point total, it's not surprising that SkinFan had several underperformers (five to be exact). Ben Roethlisberger was the worst of them, scoring only 3 points.1 Roethlisberger needed 47 attempts to make it to 276 yards and never reached the end zone.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards had many underperformers, but Jameis Winston stood out, recording only 2 points.2 Winston was once again bitten by the turnover bug as he tossed three picks. Pinko Commie Bastards also had to deal with a poor effort from Brandin Cooks (4.6 points below expected).

Pinko Commie Bastards did get some solace this week in the form of Josh Jacobs, who came up with 17 points.

Coach Erran Yearty could have won this game with the right lineup. He started Brandin Cooks instead of Chris Godwin, despite the experts' prediction that Godwin should have played.

This decision cost Pinko Commie Bastards a total of 7 points. If Coach Yearty had left Cooks on the bench and also started Mark Ingram, Pinko Commie Bastards would have won the game.

The schedule for SkinFan brings Homesick Abortions around next week. Homesick Abortions might present a challenge, having posted the highest score this week. As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will square off against Black Micahs.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse believed the hype about Lamar Jackson and the Ravens offensive revolution coming into the season, and boy did that pay off. Jackson was the key component as The Brainers wound up with a solid victory margin against Zombie Werewolves, winning 83 to 70. His 32 point performance was the 2nd best of any player this week.1 He bested his old touchdown pass career-high during the first half, thanks in large part to this 83-yard pitch and catch, and finished with five on the day and a perfect passer rating.

The Brainers won despite bad games from Mike Evans, Jared Cook, and Todd Gurley, who together put up 6 points. Gurley's performance wasn't exactly what Coach Rittenhouse was looking for when he drafted Gurley in the first round.

Meanwhile, while balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Zombie Werewolves this week. Tom Brady paced the team by beating the average quarterback by 8 points, while Kerryon Johnson (5.2 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team.

The Brainers will be going against Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 46 points this week. As for Zombie Werewolves, they will match up with Alcoholniks.

We projected Homesick Abortions to be near the top of the pack this season when it comes to wide receivers, and they made us look good this week. Homesick Abortions used sticky hands to power themselves to a 94 to 86 victory over Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. DeSean Jackson scored 21 points, while Amari Cooper scored 11.

Homesick Abortions also got a big effort from Carson Wentz (8.8 points above expected). Wentz displayed both his mobility and accuracy with this bullet to the back of the endzone for one of his three touchdown passes on the day.

Meanwhile, David Montgomery stuck out as the worst performer for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, producing only 1 point. In most other games, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's six overperforming players (led by DeAndre Hopkins, 17 points) would have brought home a win.1

Next week, Homesick Abortions will take on the 1 - 0 SkinFan. Both those teams won despite being underdogs, so the experts may have underestimated these squads. SkinFan will bring the league's top player this week, Sammy Watkins, into the game.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on DenBro next week. That game will see both of this week's top running backs square off, when Austin Ekeler matches up against Christian McCaffrey.

Homesick Abortions were able to grind out a solid victory this week against SkinFan, winning by a score of 64 to 52. The win brings Homesick Abortions' record to 2 - 0, while dropping SkinFan to 1 - 1.

Joey Slye was expected to be the worst performing K this week, but apparently that was just fuel for the fire. Slye was the key contributor for Homesick Abortions, totaling 16 points.

It was, unfortunately, a costly win for Homesick Abortions. DeSean Jackson was not targeted before leaving Sunday’s game with a groin injury.

Meanwhile, Derek Carr loomed large in the loss for SkinFan, scoring 4 points.1 Sammy Watkins has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 7.2 fewer points than he was expected to.

SkinFan did get a couple of good, but ultimately futile, efforts from Dalvin Cook and Austin Seibert, who came up with a total of 28 points. Cook pierced through the Packers D and turned on the afterburners on this 75-yard touchdown run.

Next week, Homesick Abortions will be playing Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Homesick Abortions have now been an underdog in both the last two weeks, and won both times. Maybe they'll get a bit more credit going into their next one. Meanwhile, SkinFan will be playing Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week.

It's not that hard to win when you have the league's top performer for the week, and the Patriots Defense/ST were that player. Alcoholniks made it look easy against Zombie Werewolves, winning 87 to 58 behind 33 points from the Patriots. They were absolutely ruthless against the junior varsity version of the Miami Dolphins, collecting seven sacks and four interceptions, two of which were returned for touchdowns.

Alcoholniks also had the 4th best performer this week in Julio Jones, who recorded 18 points.

Meanwhile, The Cowboys Defense/ST and Alshon Jeffery were double trouble for Zombie Werewolves, together scoring only 1 point. Jeffery scored zero points, which were the fewest of any wide receiver this week.

The win brings Alcoholniks back to even at 1 - 1. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves' record to 0 - 2.

Both teams will be looking for their first win next week when Zombie Werewolves and Pinko Commie Bastards face off. Pinko Commie Bastards have also scored the fewest points so far this year. As for Alcoholniks, they will match up with The Brainers.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters were used to being on top last year, but this week things did not quite go according to plan. Big Tex's Pillow Biters could not make it much of a game, losing to The Brainers 68 to 51. The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 0 - 2, while the win brings The Brainers to 2 - 0.

The Brainers got a nice group performance in the win, as four players beat their positional averages. Lamar Jackson was the first among equals, racking up 21 points. Jackson is the first QB to throw for more than 250 yards with a touchdown through the air while also collecting more than 120 yards on the ground in yet another statement performance. Wil Lutz helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 4.7 points.

Meanwhile, Coach William Hayes will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. Big Tex's Pillow Biters had five underperformers, with Robert Woods (1 point) being the worst.1

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse did his part to secure the victory this week. He left Josh Gordon and Jared Cook on the bench in favor of Tyler Boyd and Darren Waller, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions netted Coach Rittenhouse an extra 8 points, and makes it back-to-back weeks where Coach Rittenhouse has outsmarted the experts.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters will be going against Homesick Abortions next week. Homesick Abortions have been the highest scoring team so far this year. As for The Brainers, they will square off against Alcoholniks.

Black Micahs have owned Pinko Commie Bastards in the past to the tune of a 3 and 1 record, and went ahead and added to that ledger of dominance this week. They got past Pinko Commie Bastards without much trouble, winning 73 to 60. Black Micahs won despite being projected to lose by more points than any other team (4 point underdog).

The win brings Black Micahs' record to 2 - 0, while dropping Pinko Commie Bastards to 0 - 2.

Three players (Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, and John Ross) delivered victory to Black Micahs, getting 49 of their team's 73 points. Mahomes alone scored 26 points, which topped all quarterbacks this week. He threw for nearly 300 yards and connected on four touchdown passes in the second quarter alone, finishing the day with 443 yards through the air.

Meanwhile, Cam Newton was clearly the weakest link for Coach Erran Yearty and the gang as he tallied 4 points.1

Next week, Black Micahs will take on the 1 - 1 DenBro. That team is not coming in very hot, after finishing this week with only 23 points. Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will square off against Zombie Werewolves in a battle of two teams that are both looking for their first win.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum sent DenBro crying home to mommy after a thorough 52 to 23 spanking. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum were lucky to win this one given their point total, but they were due for a little luck, having lost last week despite putting up a solid score. The game evens up both teams' records at 1 - 1.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won with a balanced effort, as four players outperformed their positional averages. Kenny Golladay was the best of the bunch, totaling 11 points.1 Although Coach Robert Wetzel got the win, they cannot have been happy with Philip Rivers's performance this week. Rivers failed to show up, scoring 3 points.

Meanwhile, Drew Brees was the main culprit in DenBro's loss, managing -2 points. No other player scored fewer points than that this week. He tore a ligament in the thumb of his throwing hand on this play during the first quarter and will undergo surgery, likely keeping him out for six weeks of action.

Christian McCaffrey falling 11.8 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. McCaffrey had just 53 all-purpose yards as he suffered from the inept offense that surrounds him. DenBro only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Justin Tucker scoring 13 points.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will face off against SkinFan next week. The matchup will feature the two top RB's in the league, as Austin Ekeler meets up with Dalvin Cook.

Meanwhile, DenBro will take on Black Micahs next week. Black Micahs will come into next week having gone over 70 points in both of their games.

'The thrill is gone'--at least when it comes to Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's recent games. After last week's blowout, they were involved in another no-doubter this week (but lost this time). Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum suffered a huge loss to SkinFan, going down 67 to 34. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum secured the worst team performance in the league this week with that 34 point total.

The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to 1 - 2, while the win brings SkinFan to 2 - 1.

SkinFan, who were the underdog in this matchup, had a decent start during the early Sunday games. They were powered by Dalvin Cook, who scored 12 points. Cook is just the fifth player in league history with 110+ yards and a rushing touchdown in each of his team’s first three games of the season.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum suffered through the early Sunday slate, when all five starters during that period failed to hit their positional averages. Kenny Golladay was the worst offender, scoring exactly zero points. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also had to deal with a poor effort from Le'Veon Bell (5 points below expected).

Going into the Sunday late games, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum were already a fairly long shot to win. After several players, including Austin Ekeler, scored essentially no fantasy points, the game was over.

Coach Robert Wetzel have had the most stable lineup in the league, but that consistency wasn't helpful this week. They went with Kenny Golladay and Aaron Rodgers over the higher ranked Larry Fitzgerald and Philip Rivers. These decisions shaved 12 points from Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's score, which--thankfully for Coach Wetzel--didn't matter much this game.

Next week, SkinFan will take on Big Tex's Pillow Biters, who have scored the fewest points so far this year. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will also come into the game looking for their first win. Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on Zombie Werewolves.

By a score of 86 to 76, Black Micahs walked away victorious over DenBro. Black Micahs have now exceeded the league average point total in three straight games.

Black Micahs have now won three games in a row, which brings their record to 3 - 0. The loss drops DenBro's record to 1 - 2.

Black Micahs had all (well, most) hands on deck in this win, with six players beating their positional averages. The Bears Defense/ST was the best of the bunch, notching 21 points.1 That was the most that any Defense/ST collected this week.

Black Micahs also got a better-than-expected performance from Patrick Mahomes, who beat his projections by 8.5 points. Mahomes connected with Demarcus Robinson with an absolute dime to the corner of the endzone for one of his three touchdown passes.

Coach Micah Russell's squad won despite bad games from John Ross and Chris Carson, who together scored -1 points. Ross scored -1 points, which were the fewest of any wide receiver this season.

Meanwhile, DenBro didn't have anybody who was too hot, or too cold, but this Goldilocks outcome was not 'just right'. Christian McCaffrey topped the running back average by 7.9 points to lead the team, while Justin Tucker fell only 5.5 points short of the average K in bringing up the rear.

DenBro will face off against Homesick Abortions next week. Homesick Abortions will come into the game undefeated. Meanwhile, Black Micahs will be playing The Brainers.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's gameday decisions have been the best in the league so far this season, and his brilliance was on display again this week. He started three players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. Two of those picks, Mike Evans and Darren Waller, worked out. The other pick, the Seahawks Defense/ST, did not.

Overall, these moves gave The Brainers an extra 26 points, which wasn't close to enough as The Brainers (2 - 1) got clobbered by Alcoholniks (2 - 1), losing 95 to 67.

Alcoholniks had almost all of their firepower going off before the end of the Sunday early games, and they got Coach Nick Claeboe's squad off to a solid start. Julio Jones led the charge, scoring 12 points. Jones put the Falcons back in striking distance by reeling in this touchdown pass directly above his defender’s helmet and securing the ball through contact.

Meanwhile, Coach Rittenhouse's squad just couldn't quite get it going. They had four slightly underperforming players, with Josh Gordon (4 points) being the worst.

Going into the Sunday late games, Alcoholniks was a heavy favorite. After Russell Wilson dropped 32 points, Alcoholniks had themselves a 'W'.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Next week, The Brainers will take on Black Micahs, who will come into the game undefeated. Black Micahs will also enter the game with Patrick Mahomes, who has been the best player in the league so far.

Meanwhile, Alcoholniks will take on Pinko Commie Bastards, who comes into the game looking for their first win. That game will see both of this week's top running backs square off, when Alvin Kamara matches up against Mark Ingram.

Zombie Werewolves had to be wary coming into this game after losing both matches against Pinko Commie Bastards last season. Thankfully for Coach Patrick jolle, the past was not prelude. Zombie Werewolves got the job done against Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 62 to 52. Zombie Werewolves won despite having the 4th lowest scoring total in the league this week.

The defeat puts Pinko Commie Bastards on a three game losing streak, dropping their record to 0 - 3. The win brings Zombie Werewolves to 1 - 2.

Zombie Werewolves had several players step up in the win, as four starters beat their positional averages. Adam Thielen was just a bit ahead of the others, delivering 14 points.1 Zombie Werewolves also got the benefit of the 3rd straight game that Derrick Henry exceeded his expectations. The only real damper on Zombie Werewolves' victory came from Calvin Ridley, who scored zero points.

Meanwhile, this week's loss for Pinko Commie Bastards was a true group effort. Ka'imi Fairbairn was the worst of a seven man group of underperformers, dropping only 3 points.2 That was fewer than every other kicker this week.

Pinko Commie Bastards also had to deal with a bad performance from Matthew Stafford, who scored 9 points. Stafford might be heading back to the waiver wire after getting picked up before this game.

On the coaching front, both sides made mistakes this week. While Coach Jolle might have gotten the victory, it wasn't due to their efforts. They started Calvin Ridley and Matt Bryant instead of T.Y. Hilton and Matt Prater, despite expert advice to do the exact opposite. These decisions took a 12 point chunk out of Zombie Werewolves' final score, which ultimately didn't make a difference in the final outcome.

Coach Erran Yearty also has to be kicking himself for his lineup decisions this week. Perhaps scared off by Jameis Winston's 9 point performance last week, Coach Yearty left him on the bench in favor of Matthew Stafford, despite the experts' prediction that Winston should have played.

This terrible decision cost Pinko Commie Bastards a total of 11 points, which cost them the game. This marks the 3rd straight week where he has cost his team points.

The schedule for Zombie Werewolves brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum around next week. Coach Jolle are getting Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum at the right time, as they will limp into next week's game having posted less than 55 points each of the last two weeks.

As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will match up with Alcoholniks. Coach Nick Claeboe's team just had a huge week, having posted 95 points. Pinko Commie Bastards will face off against Russell Wilson in that game, part of a three game stretch against tough quarterbacks which will see them take on Lamar Jackson and Tom Brady in the following weeks.

In a week that featured three blowouts, this was the biggest. Homesick Abortions crushed Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 87 to 44. The 43 point margin that separated these teams represents the biggest blowout of the season so far.

The victory makes it three in a row for Homesick Abortions, bringing their record to 3 - 0. The loss makes it three in a row for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, which gives them a 0 - 3 record.

Two of the key players in this fight were real-life teammates, as Homesick Abortions' Evan Engram squared off against Saquon Barkley. While they were on the same team, they sure didn't deliver the same result. For Evan Engram's part, he totaled 12 points for Homesick Abortions. Engram won the foot race down the sideline during this 75-yard touchdown catch on the first play of the third quarter.

On the other hand, Saquon Barkley was not living up to his star status, scoring only 1 point. Barkley suffered a high-ankle sprain during the first half of the Giants win Sunday and is expected to miss 4-8 weeks, with the likely scenario keeping him out until November.

The rest of Coach Chris Crowder's lineup followed Engram's lead, scoring 75 more points. That group was led by Amari Cooper, who scored 16 points. Cooper has now exceeded his points expectations in every game so far this year.

Coach William Hayes seems to have forgotten to set his lineup this week. He left Damien Williams in the game, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. That cost his team 15 points, which would have helped make the final score slightly less embarrassing.

Next week will see Homesick Abortions taking on the 1 - 2 DenBro. Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with SkinFan.

Homesick Abortions (4 - 0) didn't have too much trouble with DenBro (1 - 3) this week, winning 55 to 40. Homesick Abortions won despite having their lowest point total for the year.

The game leaves both these teams streaking in opposite directions. The win makes it four in a row for Homesick Abortions. The defeat is the 3rd in a row for DenBro.

Homesick Abortions had three players lead the way, with Leonard Fournette, Joey Slye, and the Chargers Defense/ST putting up 36 points. Fournette zigged and he zagged, stiff-arming his way 81 yards up the field into the red zone. He finished the day with 225 yards on the ground.

Homesick Abortions would have won by a more comfortable margin if Coach Chris Crowder had put Wayne Gallman (15 points) in the lineup. Gallman did better than any player actually in Homesick Abortions' starting lineup this week.

Meanwhile, DenBro had many underperformers, but Dak Prescott stood out, delivering only 2 points.1 Prescott fell farther short of his expected points than any other player this week. DenBro were also hurt by the 4th straight game that O.J. Howard has failed to exceed his expected points.

Adding injury to insult, DenBro had a key player go down. Marlon Mack was forced out of Sunday’s contest early with an ankle injury but told reporters after the game that he felt like he could have returned if the coaching staff had let him.

Something has to give next week when Homesick Abortions and Alcoholniks clash, as they come into the game on four and three game winning streaks, respectively. As for DenBro, they will match up with SkinFan. DenBro have now been the favorite in both their last two games, and failed to perform both times. The experts might not give them the benefit of the doubt in their next one.

After getting knocked out of the playoffs by Black Micahs last year, Coach Chuck Rittenhouse had a chance to exact some revenge, and he took advantage of it. The Brainers skated by Black Micahs pretty easily, winning 82 to 69. With the win, The Brainers put an end to Black Micahs' three-game win streak.

This was Black Micahs' first loss of the season, which gives them a 3 - 1 record. The win brings The Brainers to an identical 3 - 1.

Todd Gurley was probably in Coach Rittenhouse's doghouse after last week's 2 point 'performance'. He might be let out now. Gurley led a very balanced group of five overperformers for The Brainers this week, notching 14 points.1

The Brainers also got a big effort from Mike Evans (4.2 points above expected). Evans took his sweet time crossing the goal line after flying 67 yards down the field, leaving everyone else in his dust.

Coach Micah Russell put Mecole Hardman into the Black Micahs lineup for the first time this week, but Hardman might want to keep his bench warming pants clean. Hardman stuck out as the worst performer for Black Micahs, scoring -2 points. No other wide receiver has scored fewer points than that this season.

The six overperformers on Coach Russell's squad did their part to balance things out (and then some). The Bears Defense/ST were the best of them, scoring 16 points.

Both teams have good news in the upcoming schedule. Next week, The Brainers will be playing Pinko Commie Bastards. Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the game looking for their first win.

As for Black Micahs, they will square off against Zombie Werewolves. Points were in short supply for that team this week, as they could only scrounge up 32 of them.

After yet another victory, we here at Fantasy Journalist now officially apologize to Coach Tim Fabrizio for our disapproving draft report. SkinFan slid by Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 50 to 45. SkinFan got a fairly lucky victory, winning with the 4th lowest point total in the league this week.

The win brings SkinFan to 3 - 1, a far cry from where we expected after we pegged them as the worst team coming out of the draft. Another defeat makes it four in a row for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, and puts their record at 0 - 4.

SkinFan won with a balanced effort, as four players outperformed their positional averages. Jacoby Brissett was the first among equals, notching 18 points. Brissett faked out Oakland’s defense (and the camera guy) on this nifty RPO touchdown pass to Jack Doyle. SkinFan also got the benefit of the 4th straight game that Dalvin Cook exceeded his expectations.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters can place the blame for this loss squarely on the Packers Defense/ST, who scored no points. That was fewer than every other Defense/ST this week.

The Packers were joined by three other underperformers, including Stephen Gostkowski, who scored only 4 points. Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for Gostkowski, who has seen his point total drop in each of the last three weeks.

A key injury will make this loss for Big Tex's Pillow Biters sting even more. Josh Allen was knocked out of the game in the fourth quarter with a brutal-looking hit to the head and is officially in concussion protocol.

Next week, SkinFan will take on the 1 - 3 DenBro. Good timing, as DenBro will come into the matchup on a three game losing streak. Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

The omens did not look good for Pinko Commie Bastards coming into the game. They had scored the second fewest points of any team this season, while Alcoholniks had scored the most points of any team. Both teams lived up (or down) to expectations.

Alcoholniks earned a nice victory over Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 62 to 54. With the win, Alcoholniks moved to 3 - 1, good for the top spot in the East Side division. This loss brings Pinko Commie Bastards' losing streak to four in a row, which leaves them with a 0 - 4 record.

Alcoholniks relied heavily on the Patriots Defense/ST, who delivered 22 points. After the Patriots' performance this week, they moved up to being the best player in the league. They continues to swallow up whole offenses, gobbling up four interceptions, five sacks, and adding another touchdown on this blocked punt.

In addition to the Patriots, Alcoholniks also got nice games from Will Dissly and Greg Zuerlein. Zuerlein was perfect on all six of his kicks (four extra points) for the Rams, with a long of 58 yards.

Meanwhile, Coach Erran Yearty will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. Pinko Commie Bastards were brought down by five underperformers, the worst of whom was Daniel Jones (6 points).1 Pinko Commie Bastards also had to deal with a poor effort from Odell Beckham (5.8 points below expected). Beckham almost completed a deep ball on this trick play, but that was about it for him. He caught just two balls for 20 yards total.

Despite the loss, Pinko Commie Bastards had three standouts, with the Steelers Defense/ST, James Conner, and T.J. Hockenson dropping 37 points. After their performance this week, the Steelers are looking like a darn good waiver wire pickup.

Coach Nick Claeboe can pat himself on the back for this week's victory. He left the Ravens Defense/ST and Delanie Walker on the bench in favor of the Patriots Defense/ST and Will Dissly, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions boosted Alcoholniks' final score by 27 points, which were the difference in the game. Coach Claeboe has given his team extra points now in both of the last two weeks.

Both teams have a tough upcoming schedule. Next week will see Pinko Commie Bastards taking on the 3 - 1 Brainers. The Brainers will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 65+ point games.

It was important for Alcoholniks to get the win over an easy opponent this week, as its next two games are against winning teams, starting with Homesick Abortions next week. Homesick Abortions will come into the game undefeated.

This was expected to be a blowout, and Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum didn't disappoint. In the only blowout this week, they crushed Zombie Werewolves, winning 53 to 32. Blowouts are nothing new to Coach Robert Wetzel, since Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum has been involved in the most blowout games of anybody in league so far.

The win evens up Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record at 2 - 2. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves' record to 1 - 3.

Austin Ekeler separated himself from the rest of the crew on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, producing 18 points. Ekeler's performance early on Sunday took him from the 12th best player to the 4th best player in the league. He dove across the goal line for one of his two scores, making an argument that he’ll still be RB1 even after the return of Melvin Gordon.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves' troubles were largely due to having developed an allergy to the end zone. All their starters combining for only one touchdown. No other team scored fewer TDs this week. Two players stood out for their poor performance in that category for Zombie Werewolves, with Derrick Henry and Kerryon Johnson combining to score 0 TDs.

Coach Wetzel's gameday decisions have been some of the worst in the league this season, and this week they showed why. They went with Zach Ertz over the higher ranked Mark Andrews.

This decision shaved 4 points from Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's score, and makes it back-to-back weeks now where Coach Wetzel have cost their team points.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's victory over a struggling team bodes well for the squad, as its upcoming schedule doesn't get any harder. The next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will come into the game looking for their first win. Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will take on Black Micahs.

After losing four straight games, Coach William Hayes' squad figured: 'Why not another?' Big Tex's Pillow Biters (0 - 5) got beat by Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (3 - 2), 45 to 38. Big Tex's Pillow Biters have now failed to hit the league average point total in five straight games.

Coach Robert Wetzel should thank their lucky stars they drew Big Tex's Pillow Biters for this week's contest, since their squad would have lost to EVERY other team this week. Not only did Big Tex's Pillow Biters lose, but they now sit at the bottom of every component in the CBS power rankings.

Zach Ertz and the Vikings Defense/ST were the key contributors for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, totaling 8 and 12 points, respectively. Ertz's performance paced Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum for the 2nd time this year. He did what he does best -- get open in the red zone and bully his way across the goal line on this 11-yard strike from Carson Wentz.

There were five underperformers keeping Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum from a proper victory, with Philip Rivers (zero points) being the worst of them. Rivers failed to throw a touchdown pass for the second time this year, and coughed up two interceptions for his worst outing so far this season.

Over in the loser's circle, Big Tex's Pillow Biters got a big game from Michael Thomas. Thomas scored 21 points, which were good for 2nd place among all wide receivers this week. Unfortunately for Coach Hayes, nobody else really stepped up.

There were plenty of chefs cooking up this week's loss for Big Tex's Pillow Biters. LeSean McCoy was the worst of a seven man group of underperformers, scoring -1 points. No other running back has scored fewer points than that this season.

The outcome of this one would have been different if Coach Hayes had gotten all of his lineup picks right. He started Jared Goff and Eric Ebron instead of Andy Dalton and Jimmy Graham, despite expert advice to do the exact opposite.

These decisions took a 7 point chunk out of Big Tex's Pillow Biters' final score. If Coach Hayes had left Goff and Ebron on the bench and also started the Packers Defense/ST, Big Tex's Pillow Biters would have won the game.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters will be going against Homesick Abortions next week. That will be a rematch from week three, when Big Tex's Pillow Biters was run off the field, losing by 43 points.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will be playing DenBro. DenBro will bring the league's top player so far, Christian McCaffrey, into the game.

Black Micahs had the good fortune of having the league's best player this week in Aaron Jones.1 Jones led the way as Black Micahs destroyed Zombie Werewolves, winning 87 to 61. His 32 point performance this week moves him up to being the 2nd best running back in the league this season. He reached over the goal line and into Packers history with his fourth rushing touchdown of the afternoon, tying the franchise record.

Cooper Kupp helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 4.6 points. That makes it four straight games of overperforming expectations for Kupp.

Meanwhile, The Cowboys Defense/ST was the main culprit in Zombie Werewolves' loss, scoring only 2 points.2 That was the fewest of any Defense/ST this week. Adam Thielen and Tom Brady, scoring 37 points, did their best to make the final margin slightly less embarrassing.

With the win, Black Micahs moved to 4 - 1, good for the top spot in the East Side division. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves' record to 1 - 4.

The East Side division lead will be at stake when Black Micahs takes on Alcoholniks next week. There are likely to be some fireworks in that one, as it features the two highest scoring teams in the league so far.

Next week Zombie Werewolves will have a much easier challenge as they take on league doormat Pinko Commie Bastards. That contest will be a rematch from week three, when Zombie Werewolves won 62 to 52.

DenBro beat SkinFan all three times they played last year and kept that trend going this week. DenBro stomped all over SkinFan 87 to 51. With the win, DenBro put an end to their three game losing streak.

The win brings DenBro's record to 2 - 3, while dropping SkinFan to 3 - 2.

Christian McCaffrey was the key contributor for DenBro, recording 30 points. McCaffrey's performance early on Sunday took him from the 7th best player to the best player in the league.

McCaffrey got help from four other players, including 16 points from Justin Tucker. Tucker was a perfect 4-for-4 on field goal tries (with two more extra points) Sunday, capping his day with the dramatic 46-yard game-winner in overtime.

DenBro overcame bad performances from three players: Rashaad Penny, the Saints Defense/ST, and O.J. Howard, who collectively came up with 7 points. Howard has now failed to exceed the average tight end's point total in any week this year.

Melvin Gordon got his first start for SkinFan this week, but it might be his last. Gordon was the worst of six underperformers, tallying 1 point.1

Keenan Allen falling 7.4 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Allen had four catches Sunday and barely did anything with them for a grand total of 18 yards.

Next week will see DenBro taking on the 3 - 2 Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 45 points this week. As for SkinFan, they will square off against The Brainers.

After losing four straight games, Coach Erran Yearty's squad finally had enough. Pinko Commie Bastards demolished The Brainers, winning 78 to 55. The 78 points that Pinko Commie Bastards dropped were the most they scored so far this year.

The win is the first of the season for Pinko Commie Bastards, making their record 1 - 4. The loss drops The Brainers' record to 3 - 2.

Pinko Commie Bastards relied heavily on Chris Godwin, who totaled 18 points. No surprise there, as he is currently the best wide receiver in the league.

Pinko Commie Bastards also got a better-than-expected performance from George Kittle, who beat his projections by 4.4 points. Kittle snuck past a trio of defenders for this easy 22-yard pitch-and-catch for the touchdown Monday night.

Meanwhile, Lamar Jackson and Mike Evans put a big hurt on The Brainers' chances this week, delivering only 5 points between them.

Next week will bring a much easier match for Pinko Commie Bastards, as they play the 1-4 Zombie Werewolves. Meanwhile, The Brainers will collide with SkinFan. Both teams come into that game licking their wounds after getting thoroughly knocked around by their opponents.

Homesick Abortions came into this week's match-up on a four-game win streak, but Alcoholniks put an end to that. Alcoholniks gave Homesick Abortions a 78 to 56 drubbing.

Alcoholniks have now finished off four straight opponents after this win, giving them a record of 4 - 1. The loss is the first of the season for Homesick Abortions, dropping their record to 4 - 1.

Russell Wilson was the clear leader on Alcoholniks this week, tallying 26 points. After Wilson's performance, he moved up to being the best quarterback in the league. He tossed himself directly into the MVP conversation with a come-from-behind win that included 268 yards passing, and four touchdown passes, and this bomb that traveled more than 50 yards in the air to rookie D.K. Metcalf.

Alcoholniks also got the benefit of the 5th straight game that Greg Zuerlein exceeded his expectations. Coach Nick Claeboe's squad won despite bad games from Julio Jones, Joe Mixon, and Alvin Kamara, who together totaled 11 points. Jones was targeted seven times but managed to catch just three balls for 42 yards, his lowest total since Week 1.

Meanwhile, it will be difficult for Coach Chris Crowder to fault any one player for the loss. Homesick Abortions had six underperformers, with Wayne Gallman (zero points) being the worst. Gallman's zero points made him the worst starter on his team for the 1st time this season.

Coach Crowder tried to second guess the experts this week when setting his lineup, and the result was very costly. He started three players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. One of those picks, D.J. Moore, worked out. The other picks, Carson Wentz and Gallman, did not.

While these moves were somewhat defensible, they cost Homesick Abortions a total of 37 points, which ended up costing them the game. Having cost his team 42 points total, Coach Crowder is the worst game-day coach in the league so far this season.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. The scoreboard operator might be kept busy when Alcoholniks and Black Micahs, the two highest scoring teams in the league, face off next week. The game will be a rematch from week one, and Coach Claeboe will no doubt be worried that Patrick Mahomes will drop another 23 points for Black Micahs like he did the last time those teams faced off.

Hopefully, there won't be too many bye week players in the lineup next week when Homesick Abortions takes on Big Tex's Pillow Biters in a battle between the worst gameday coaches in the league so far. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will also come into the game looking for their first win.

Homesick Abortions put a 43 point hurting on Big Tex's Pillow Biters in week three, and came back for seconds this week. Homesick Abortions perfectly destroyed Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 98 to 26. That 72 point win is the biggest blowout so far this season.

The win brings Homesick Abortions to 5 - 1, and sends them to the top of our internal power rankings. The loss is the 6th straight for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, putting their record at 0 - 6.

Coach Chris Crowder put Terry McLaurin into the lineup for the first time, and he came through. Although Homesick Abortions got a nice group performance in the win, McLaurin was just a bit ahead of the others, notching 17 points.1

Homesick Abortions also got a big effort from David Johnson (7 points above expected). Johnson ran one in from the one yard line and then caught this highly contested 14-yard pass from Kyler Murray for a lead over the Falcons.

Although they got the win, Homesick Abortions had some bad luck in the personnel department. Amari Cooper caught just one ball for three yards before catching a hit to the thigh in the first quarter that knocked him out for the rest of the game.

Meanwhile, the loss for Big Tex's Pillow Biters came down to a pretty simple factor: they didn't go anywhere. Collectively, they only managed to gain 186 yards rushing and receiving. That's the worst result that any team this season has had in the total yards category. Big Tex's Pillow Biters saw four different players underperform in that category, and while none of them particularly stuck out, Damien Williams and his 20 total yards was officially the worst.

Homesick Abortions will face off against DenBro next week. DenBro will have to play without Christian McCaffrey, who has a bye week.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will take on SkinFan next week. That team is not coming in very hot, after finishing this week with only 27 points. The game might wind up as a crawl to the finish, as it features the two lowest scoring teams in the league.

Coach Nick Claeboe picked a bad week to make a bad lineup. He went with Russell Wilson over the higher ranked Matt Ryan.

This decision cost Alcoholniks a total of 5 points and cost them the game, as they lost a tight one against Black Micahs (5 - 1), 64 to 62.

Tyreek Hill separated himself from the rest of the crew on Black Micahs, putting up 16 points. This is the 1st time this year that the Cheetah has paced Black Micahs.

Chris Carson helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 6.2 points. Carson has now overperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games.

Black Micahs managed to rise above the bad efforts from Aaron Jones and Cooper Kupp (zero points total). Jones' performance this week ended a four game streak of beating the experts' projections.

Coach Claeboe can look to Greg Zuerlein and Alvin Kamara when passing out blame for the loss. The two combined to score only 3 points. Greg the Leg scored 1 point, which was fewer than every other kicker this week.

On top of the loss, Coach Claeboe took some long-term damage to his lineup. The Seahawks believe Will Dissly may have ruptured his left Achilles tendon while running a route in the end zone during the second quarter Sunday.

Next week, Alcoholniks will be playing Zombie Werewolves. That game will see both of this week's top quarterbacks square off, when Matt Ryan matches up against Kirk Cousins. Alcoholniks was the hardest test Black Micahs will face for a while, as its next three games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Pinko Commie Bastards next week.

Zombie Werewolves got this win with a little bit in reserve, earning a 77 to 66 victory over Pinko Commie Bastards. The win is more of the same for Zombie Werewolves, who won the last game with Pinko Commie Bastards by the score of 62 to 52. The win brings Zombie Werewolves' record to 2 - 4, while dropping Pinko Commie Bastards to 1 - 5.

Two of the key players in this fight were real-life teammates, as Zombie Werewolves' Nick Chubb squared off against Odell Beckham. While they were on the same team, they sure didn't deliver the same result. Nick Chubb did great for Zombie Werewolves, tallying 16 points. Chubb bowled his way into the brown and orange-striped end zone for his second touchdown of the afternoon to give Cleveland a short-lived fourth quarter lead.

On the flip side, Odell Beckham was not having a typical Odell Beckham week, totaling only 5 points. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Beckham, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

The other players on Zombie Werewolves had Chubb's back, coming up with 61 points. Of that crew, Calvin Ridley led the way with 8 points.

Both teams face trouble in the upcoming schedule. It was important for Zombie Werewolves to get the victory this week, as Pinko Commie Bastards will be the easiest game they will face for a while. The next three games are against winning teams, starting with Alcoholniks next week. The game will be a rematch from week two, and Coach Jolle needs to be concerned about the Patriots Defense/ST, who scored 33 points for Alcoholniks the last time these two teams met.

Pinko Commie Bastards' next game will be against Black Micahs in a rematch from week two. Pinko Commie Bastards lost the previous matchup 73 to 60. Next week's battle (featuring Patrick Mahomes for Black Micahs) will be the first of a three straight games against tough quarterbacks (Russell Wilson and Deshaun Watson are on the schedule in the following weeks).

It's probably been tough for Coach Chuck Rittenhouse to stay awake while following his recent games. After last week's blowout, he played in another one this week. The Brainers made it look easy against SkinFan, winning 55 to 27. Despite the big margin, The Brainers picked up a lucky win, given that their score topped only two other teams this week.

The win brings The Brainers' record to 4 - 2, while dropping SkinFan to 3 - 3.

The Brainers, who were favored to win the game, did a decent job during Sunday's main action. Lamar Jackson took the lead, scoring 17 points. Jackson became the first player in league history to pass for 200+ yards and rack up 150+ on the ground in a regular season game, which he did with explosive runs like this 21-yard scamper for the score.

Meanwhile, SkinFan decided the whole 'scoring points' thing was passe. The Eagles Defense/ST was the worst of a four man group of underperformers, scoring 5 points. That was quite a falloff from last week, when they scored 32 points.

A win was looking really unlikely for SkinFan going into Sunday night's game. The door slammed shut for good after Melvin Gordon and Keenan Allen dropped only 2 points.

The schedule for The Brainers brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum around next week. The Brainers will have to put their wide receiver depth to the test in that one, as Mike Evans has his bye week.

SkinFan's next game will be against Big Tex's Pillow Biters in a rematch from week four. SkinFan won the previous matchup 50 to 45. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will come into the game looking for their first win.

Coming into the game, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had scored the second fewest points of any team over the last three weeks. True to form, they got weak results this week. Coach Robert Wetzel's squad lost to DenBro, 58 to 48. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum have now failed to top their projections in any of the past five weeks.

The result gets both squads back to a .500 record at 3 - 3.

DenBro were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. Christian McCaffrey paced the team by beating the average running back by 6.2 points, while Kenyan Drake (4.8 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team. McCaffrey is on quite a hot streak, performing better than any other starter over the last three weeks. That's all in a day's work for the best running back in the league.

Meanwhile, Austin Ekeler loomed large in the loss for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, recording zero points. This is the 1st time this year that he was the worst starter on his team.

Larry Fitzgerald has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 4 fewer points than he was expected to. Fitzgerald has now underperformed the league average wide receiver in three straight games. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Aaron Rodgers scoring 13 points.

Next week will see DenBro taking on the 5 - 1 Homesick Abortions. DenBro will have long odds to win if Homesick Abortions scores another 98 points, like they did this week. Three weeks ago, that might have been more ominous to DenBro which had just finished losing their 3rd game in a row. Now, however, they'll go into the matchup with Homesick Abortions having won their last two. As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will match up with The Brainers.

The Brainers walked away with a nice 78 to 66 win this week against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. The win was The Brainers' 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 5 - 2. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum are now 3 - 4 after suffering their first back-to-back losses of the season.

Darren Waller was the clear leader on The Brainers this week, totaling 18 points. Waller secured a contract extension on Wednesday and then secured this ball for the seven-yard touchdown reception during a huge two-touchdown, 126-yard afternoon.

Waller was joined by four other overperformers, including Brett Maher, who tallied 15 points. That makes it three straight games of overperforming expectations for Maher.

The Brainers did well despite having to deal with Tyler Boyd and the Titans Defense/ST, who combined to deliver 5 points. Coach Chuck Rittenhouse has to be used to bad scores from Boyd, who has been the worst performer on The Brainers more times than any other player.

Meanwhile, Coach Robert Wetzel will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. David Montgomery was the worst of a five man group of underperformers on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, scoring -2 points. Montgomery might have been better off staying home Sunday, fumbling the ball away in the third quarter and finishing with just six rushing yards on two attempts. His performance was also the worst of any running back this season.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also had to deal with a bad performance from Larry Fitzgerald, who scored zero points. Underperforming is the new normal for Fitzgerald, who has gone four straight games without hitting his projected point total.

Next week will see Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum taking on the 5 - 2 Homesick Abortions. Points were in short supply for that team this week, as they could only scrounge up 31 of them. As for The Brainers, they will square off against Zombie Werewolves.

Forget the teams, it's Coach Patrick jolle that are the big winner this week. They started the Cowboys Defense/ST instead of the Redskins Defense/ST, despite the experts' prediction that the Redskins should have played.

This decision gave Zombie Werewolves a nice 7 point bonus and was the difference in the game, as they just slipped by Alcoholniks (4 - 3), 59 to 58.

Zombie Werewolves had several players step up in the win, as five starters beat their positional averages. The Cowboys was the first among equals, racking up 15 points. That's the most points that they've scored so far this year.

Zombie Werewolves got the win despite leaving Kirk Cousins and his 26 points on the bench. Cousins has been making his case to start recently, having scored 68 points over the past three weeks.

Alcoholniks had plenty of duds in the loss. They were brought down by six underperformers, the worst of whom was Phillip Lindsay (1 point).1 Besides just losing this week, wins in the future are going to be a bit harder to come by. Matt Ryan left Sunday’s contest with the Rams after twisting his ankle during a sack-fumble in the fourth quarter, adding literal injury to a lackluster 159-yard, one interception outing. The Falcons announced Monday they’re optimistic it’s nothing more than a sprain.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Coach Jolle should hope that the victory over a quality opponent like Alcoholniks establishes a pattern, as their next two games are against winning teams, starting with The Brainers next week.

As for Alcoholniks, Coach Nick Claeboe is probably happy with how his team has played so far this season, but he has to be concerned about his team's recent performance. Alcoholniks have now lost their last two games. Coach Claeboe will have to hope things turn around in next week's matchup with Pinko Commie Bastards. Pinko Commie Bastards won't have Mark Ingram available to start in that contest.

'We can build on this.' Big Tex's Pillow Biters, who stumbled into week seven with the worst record in the league, better hope so. They took down SkinFan handily, winning 85 to 70. The 85 points that Big Tex's Pillow Biters scored were the most they scored this year, just one week after setting their season low.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters (finally!) got off the schneid with this win. They now sit at 1 - 6. The loss makes it three in a row for SkinFan, which gives them a 3 - 4 record.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters got good efforts from almost everyone on the squad, with seven players topping their positional averages. Jared Goff was the best of the bunch, producing 21 points. That made him the top performer on Big Tex's Pillow Biters for the first time this year. He bounced back this week to throw zero interceptions and two touchdown passes, including this 13-yard drop in the bucket to Todd Gurley for six.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters also got a better-than-expected performance from the Jaguars Defense/ST, who beat their projections by 6.5 points. The Jaguars' performance this week ended a three game streak of failing to hit their projections. The only real bad apple in Big Tex's Pillow Biters' orchard this week was Damien Williams, who scored zero points.

Meanwhile, Brandon McManus was clearly the weakest link for Coach Tim Fabrizio and the gang as he put up zero points. Coach Fabrizio found out why he was available on the waiver wire this week.

SkinFan wound up with their high point total courtesy of three overperformers. Dalvin Cook scored 19 points to pace the group.1 Cook has now exceeded the average running back's performance in every game so far this year.

Next week, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will take on the 6 - 1 Black Micahs. Bad timing for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, as Black Micahs will come into the matchup on a three game winning streak.

SkinFan's next game will be against DenBro in a rematch from week five. SkinFan ended up getting crushed in the previous matchup by 36 points. Coach Fabrizio will no doubt be worried that Christian McCaffrey will drop another 30 points for DenBro like he did last time.

Black Micahs have a cool 80% winning percentage all-time against Pinko Commie Bastards, and Coach Micah Russell delivered more pain this week. Black Micahs ended up well ahead of Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 57 to 44. Black Micahs won despite having the 4th lowest scoring total in the league this week.

The victory makes it three in a row for Black Micahs, and gives them a record of 6 - 1. The loss drops Pinko Commie Bastards to 1 - 6, and sinks them to the bottom of our internal power rankings.

Tyreek Hill led a very balanced group of four overperformers for Black Micahs this week, recording 10 points.1 It doesn’t matter who’s throwing the ball to Tyreek Hill when he’s got that top-end speed that he flashed on this 57-yard dash to the end zone.

It wasn't all good news this week for Black Micahs though. Patrick Mahomes dislocated his kneecap on a QB sneak during Thursday’s win, but an MRI revealed he did not suffer significant structural damage. The Chiefs are expecting the reigning MVP to be out three to five weeks.

Meanwhile, The Seahawks Defense/ST stuck out as the worst performer for Pinko Commie Bastards, scoring only 1 point. That performance was the worst of any player this week.2

Pinko Commie Bastards also had to deal with a poor effort from Mark Ingram (4.2 points below expected). Ingram's 2 points were the fewest he has scored so far this year. Pinko Commie Bastards only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Josh Allen scoring 17 points.

Black Micahs will be going against Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. Black Micahs might need a big game to win that matchup, as Big Tex's Pillow Biters comes into the game fresh off a 85 point performance.

Pinko Commie Bastards' next three games are against winning teams, starting with Alcoholniks next week. These two teams squared off in week four, when Pinko Commie Bastards lost 62 to 54.

In the only blowout this week, DenBro crushed Homesick Abortions, winning 51 to 31. DenBro would have only beaten one other team this week, so Coach Don Zimmerman got pretty lucky with the schedule.

The win gets DenBro back above .500 at 4 - 3. The loss drops Homesick Abortions' record to 5 - 2.

DenBro have been relying on Dak Prescott all year, and he came through again this week. DenBro were led by the trio of Tyler Lockett, Justin Tucker, and Prescott, who combined for 69% of their team's points.

Despite winning, DenBro struggled to score points due to five underperforming players, of whom Marlon Mack (2 points) was the worst.1 That makes it three straight games where Mack has underperformed the league average running back.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions really lost this game as a team. They had seven underperformers, with David Johnson (zero points) being the worst.2 Johnson's zero point performance made him the worst performer on Homesick Abortions for the first time this year. He left the game after just three snaps, accumulating two yards on one carry, and did not return due to an apparent ankle injury.

Terry McLaurin added to Homesick Abortions' troubles, scoring exactly zero points. McLaurin hopefully has some credit left over from last week's 17 point performance. Homesick Abortions only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Josh Lambo scoring 13 points.

DenBro have a lucky matchup set for next week. They play SkinFan, a team currently on a three game losing skid. The contest will see some top shelf RB play, as Christian McCaffrey meets up with Dalvin Cook. Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will be playing Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week.

Things were lining up pretty well for DenBro coming into this one. They came into the game on a three game winning streak, while SkinFan came into the game on a three game losing streak. The final result then, was unsurprising.

DenBro ended up on top against SkinFan, winning 72 to 59. The win brings DenBro's record to 5 - 3, while dropping SkinFan to 3 - 5.

DenBro didn't have any huge performances this week, but also didn't have anybody who really dropped the ball. Christian McCaffrey topped the running back average by 6.9 points to lead the team, while Courtland Sutton fell only 2.5 points short of the average WR in bringing up the rear. McCaffrey has now overperformed the experts' predictions in five straight games. He somehow managed to go virtually untouched as he scampered 40 yards to the end zone during one of the few bright spots for the Panthers.

Meanwhile, Coach Tim Fabrizio will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. SkinFan were brought down by four underperformers, the worst of whom was Ty Johnson (1 point).1 The Bills Defense/ST falling 4.7 points short of their expectations didn't help matters much either. It's yet another disappointing day for the Bills, who have now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

In the loss, SkinFan had three solid performers, with Dalvin Cook, JuJu Smith-Schuster, and Matthew Stafford tallying 43 points. No surprise there, as The Chef is currently the 3rd best player in the league.

Although only one wound up with a victory, both coaches made good decisions this week. Coach Don Zimmerman followed the experts' advice for each position and ended up with a perfect lineup. This is the first time this year that Coach Zimmerman has pulled that off.

The loss this week certainly wasn't Coach Fabrizio's fault. They went with Matthew Stafford over the higher ranked Jacoby Brissett.

This decision netted Coach Fabrizio an extra 16 points. This is the first time this year that Coach Fabrizio's decisions have earned their team points.

Coach Zimmerman should hope that the victory over a sub-.500 team like SkinFan establishes a pattern, as their next game is against the dreadful Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Making things even easier, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will be without Michael Thomas, who has a bye.

As for SkinFan, they will match up with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. SkinFan will have to deal with Aaron Rodgers in that one, and then follow that up with matchups against fellow top quarterbacks Deshaun Watson and Russell Wilson.

Coach Nick Claeboe might have been looking to rest his nerves a bit after last week's nailbiter. He got the rest, and the win. Alcoholniks crushed Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 87 to 63. That 24 point margin was the biggest gap between any two teams this week.

The defeat puts Pinko Commie Bastards on a three game losing streak, dropping their record to 1 - 7. The win brings Alcoholniks to 5 - 3.

This contest featured the top performing player this week in Tevin Coleman, and not surprisingly, he played on the winning team. Coleman was a one-man wrecking crew, recording 29 points. He shot through the line and put on the after-burners on this 48-yard touchdown run, his third of the first half. He would finish the day with four touchdowns, tripling his previous season total.

Alcoholniks also got the highest score out of any Defense/ST this week courtesy of the Patriots, who scored 20 points. The game would have been an even bigger blowout if Alcoholniks had Darren Fells and his 14 points in the starting lineup. Fells' performance this week was better than every other bench-rider in the league.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards were having trouble reaching paydirt, getting into the end zone only one time. Pinko Commie Bastards were practicing their manners as they put every other team ahead of themselves in the TotTDScored category this week. They suffered from four zeros in that category, one of which came from Josh Jacobs.

There's no time for Alcoholniks to celebrate a win over a team like Pinko Commie Bastards, as they face back-to-back tough tests starting next week against The Brainers. Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will take on Homesick Abortions.

Scoring the fewest points in the league for the week is bad strategy. Just ask Coach Patrick jolle. Zombie Werewolves ended up pretty far behind in this one, losing 66 to 48 to The Brainers. The loss is more of the same for Zombie Werewolves, who dropped the last game with The Brainers by the score of 83 to 70.

The Brainers have now won three games in a row, bringing their record to 6 - 2. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves' record to 3 - 5.

The bulk of Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's squad was playing before the end of the Sunday early games, and they got The Brainers off to a solid start. Mike Evans's 21 points were the key contribution. Evans beat his guy from the very first step, easily reeling in this two-touchdown catch to give the Bucs the lead.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves were sputtering along with a less than stellar performance. Kirk Cousins and Derrick Henry both did poorly, together coming up with only 6 points. Cousins' performance this week broke his three game streak of surpassing his projections.

Going into late Sunday, Zombie Werewolves were in a really tough spot. Coach Jolle needed T.Y. Hilton and the Colts Defense/ST to outscore Sony Michel by 24 points.

Michel had a sub-par effort, scoring 3 points and giving Coach Jolle a real chance for a comeback. Unfortunately, Hilton and the Colts couldn't come up with much, leaving Zombie Werewolves well short.

Both teams have a tough upcoming schedule. The schedule for Zombie Werewolves brings Black Micahs around next week. Bad timing for Zombie Werewolves, as Black Micahs will come into the matchup on a four game winning streak. That contest will be a rematch from week five, when Zombie Werewolves ended up getting crushed by 26 points.

The Brainers will take on Alcoholniks in a battle that features the top two gameday coaches in the league. The game will be a rematch from week three, and Coach Rittenhouse will hope to avoid Russell Wilson dropping another 32 points for Alcoholniks this time.

Black Micahs had the 2nd best running backs coming into this game, and they came through for Coach Micah Russell once again. Black Micahs ran their way to a 78 to 62 win over Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Aaron Jones scored 23 points, while Chris Carson scored 10. Jones' 23 point performance topped all but one player this week.1

Black Micahs also got a big effort from Cooper Kupp (10 points above expected). Kupp reeled in 220 receiving (his largest total by a wide margin this season) and seven receptions, including a 65-yard touchdown on a triple-reverse trick play.

Meanwhile, Jimmy Graham, Stephen Hauschka, and LeSean McCoy were quite coordinated in their failures for Big Tex's Pillow Biters. They each put up only 1 point. Hauschka's 1 point performance made him the worst performer on Big Tex's Pillow Biters for the first time this year.

The win brings Black Micahs' winning streak to four games, which brings their record to 7 - 1. The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 1 - 7.

Black Micahs will face off against Zombie Werewolves next week. Black Micahs will have to put their wide receiver depth to the test in that one, as Cooper Kupp has his bye week.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with DenBro. That will be a rematch from week one, when Big Tex's Pillow Biters ended up getting crushed by 35 points.

Homesick Abortions had a bad week, and nobody is more at fault than Coach Chris Crowder. He left Josh Lambo and the Chargers Defense/ST on the bench in favor of Joey Slye and the Panthers Defense/ST, who were both expected to score less.

These terrible decisions shaved 11 points from Homesick Abortions' score and cost them the game, as they just didn't have enough against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (4 - 4), losing 67 to 61.

The experts thought Kenny Golladay should have been left on the bench, but Coach Robert Wetzel knew better. Kenny Golladay joined up with Aaron Rodgers to score 58% of Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's points. Golladay scored 16 points, which is the most he's gotten so far this year. He used every bit of his superior length to snag this jump ball at the pylon for the Lions touchdown.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum overcame poor performances from Chase Edmonds and Le'Veon Bell (1 point combined) in getting this win. Bell was mostly bottled up Sunday to the tune of 2.6 yards per attempt for a total of 23 rushing yards.

Meanwhile, this week's loss for Homesick Abortions was a true group effort. They had five underperformers, with Matt Breida (1 point) being the worst. Breida has now failed to top the league average running back in three straight games.

Homesick Abortions will try to get back to their winning ways as they have performed uncharacteristically bad of late, losing two games in a row. They will try to turn things around against Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Homesick Abortions will get to face Pinko Commie Bastards while that squad is in the middle of a three game losing streak.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will be playing SkinFan.

Coach Tim Fabrizio really needed someone to lend them a hand and help end their four game losing streak. Coach Robert Wetzel were only too happy to help. SkinFan squeaked past Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 64 to 62. The win must seem like deja vu for SkinFan, who won the last game with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum by a 67 to 34 margin.

The loss was Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 4 - 5. The win brings SkinFan to a matching 4 - 5.

Melvin Gordon was the key contributor for SkinFan, delivering 17 points.1 That gave him the most points on SkinFan for the first time this season.

SkinFan also got a better-than-expected performance from Matthew Stafford, who beat his projections by 6.6 points. Stafford took advantage of a perfectly clean pocket to deliver a strike to JD McKissic for his third touchdown pass of the game.

News off the field this week was not nearly as good for SkinFan though. Jacoby Brissett left Sunday’s contest in the first half with what has been confirmed as a sprained MCL. His status for Week 10 is currently up in the air.

Robbie Gould was expected to be the best K this week, but ended up being the worst. Gould was the worst of five underperformers, dropping 4 points. He has now underperformed the league average kicker in six straight games.

Coach Wetzel have had the most stable lineup in the league, and this week that stability paid off (on the coaching front, at least). They went with the Vikings Defense/ST over the higher ranked the Lions Defense/ST.

This decision gave Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum a nice 6 point bonus, which wasn't quite enough. This makes it back-to-back weeks where Coach Wetzel have outsmarted the experts.

SkinFan will go up against Homesick Abortions next week. SkinFan couldn't have asked for a much better time to play Homesick Abortions, who is currently on a three game losing streak. These two teams squared off in week two, when SkinFan lost 64 to 52.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's next game is against Black Micahs (7 - 2), who has pulverized the league so far. You could call that game the 'bitter bowl', as both teams lost close ones this week.

Coming into the game, Alcoholniks had scored the most points of any team over the last three weeks. They didn't knock it out of the park this week, but that wasn't necessary. Coach Nick Claeboe's boys wound up with a solid victory against The Brainers, winning 72 to 66. The win helped Alcoholniks halt The Brainers' three game winning streak.

The win brings Alcoholniks' record to 6 - 3, while dropping The Brainers to an identical 6 - 3.

It's not that hard to win when you have the league's top performer for the week, and Russell Wilson was that player. Alcoholniks were led by the one-man team of Wilson, who was responsible for more than half of his team's points. He scored 36 points, which were the 2nd most of any quarterback this season. He strengthened his MVP resume with a monster 378-passing yard, five-touchdown and zero interception performance Sunday, complete with a game-winning touchdown pass in overtime.

Jake Elliott helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 4.4 points. Elliott scored 10 points, which is the most he's gotten so far this year.

Meanwhile, The Brainers suffered from two goose eggs, with Stefon Diggs and Sony Michel failing to contribute anything. Diggs is in the midst of a troubling sequence, having seen his point total fall every week for the last three weeks. He had more rushing yards (12) than receiving yards (4) Sunday as he caught just one ball.

Despite the loss, The Brainers had three standouts, with Mike Evans, Lamar Jackson, and Brett Maher notching 53 points. After Evans' performance this week, he moved up to being the best wide receiver in the league.

Alcoholniks will try to cool off DenBro next week. DenBro are coming in hot, having won five games in a row. Adding to the difficulty, Alcoholniks will have to play without D.J. Chark, who has a bye week.

The Brainers' next game will be against Pinko Commie Bastards in a rematch from week five. The Brainers ended up getting crushed in the previous matchup by 23 points. Coach Rittenhouse will no doubt be hoping that Odell Beckham will repeat the negative 1 point performance he gave Pinko Commie Bastards last time.

It wasn't too close for comfort, but it was still pretty close, as Pinko Commie Bastards (2 - 7) beat Homesick Abortions (5 - 4) 68 to 63. The game ended one losing steak and started a new one. The victory ended Pinko Commie Bastards' three game losing streak. Another defeat makes it three in a row for Homesick Abortions.

Pinko Commie Bastards relied heavily on Josh Jacobs, who posted 18 points. That performance was good for 4th place among all players this week.1 He put the Raiders on top heading into the break with his second rushing touchdown of the first half from inside the five.

Meanwhile, it will be difficult for Coach Chris Crowder to fault any one player for the loss. Carson Wentz was the worst of a five man group of underperformers on Homesick Abortions, producing only 9 points.2 Wentz has now been the worst starter on his team two times this season.

Leonard Fournette has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 4.2 fewer points than he was expected to. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Fournette, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

A perfect lineup would have given Coach Crowder a win in this one. He started two players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. One of those picks, Joey Slye, worked out. The other pick, Carson Wentz, did not.

Overall, these moves cost Homesick Abortions a total of 3 points. If Coach Crowder had kept Slye in the lineup and left Wentz on the bench Homesick Abortions would have won the game.

Next week, Pinko Commie Bastards will be playing The Brainers. The contest will see Chris Godwin taking on Mike Evans in a battle between the top two wide receivers in the league. Homesick Abortions' loss is a bad start to an easy stretch on the schedule. The next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with SkinFan next week.

DenBro torched Big Tex's Pillow Biters back in week one by 35 points, and showed no mercy in the rematch. In the only blowout this week, DenBro crushed Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 100 to 31. Besides the victory, Coach Don Zimmerman can brag that they posted the highest score in the league so far.

With the win, DenBro moved to 6 - 3, good for the top spot in the West Side division. The loss leaves Big Tex's Pillow Biters now with the worst record in the league at 1 - 8.

DenBro came in with the 2nd best performing running backs. Big Tex's Pillow Biters came in with the worst. The results were unsurprising. DenBro saw Christian McCaffrey carry that group with a 27 point effort. McCaffrey was very nearly caught from behind but managed to fight across the goal line for this 58-yard touchdown run, his third score of the afternoon.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters had two different players in the running back group come up short, none of whom were worse than LeSean McCoy, who scored exactly zero points. McCoy has now been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks.

The other players on DenBro kept up with the running backs, coming up with 69 points. That group was led by Tyler Lockett, who scored 19 points. That was the most that any wide receiver collected this week.

Coach Zimmerman was no passive bystander in the victory. They started Courtland Sutton instead of Davante Adams, despite the experts' prediction that Adams should have played.

This decision boosted DenBro's final score by 6 points, which only added to DenBro's domination. After their decisions this week, Coach Zimmerman's lineup moves are now a net-plus for the year.

Next week will feature a mirror image matchup as the 6 - 3 DenBro will take on the 6 - 3 Alcoholniks. Although Big Tex's Pillow Biters lost this game, on the bright side, DenBro was the hardest test they will face for a while. Their next three games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Zombie Werewolves next week.

Black Micahs started week ten with the best record in the league, and finished week ten with the best record in the league. They took everything from Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum but the kitchen sink this week, winning 109 to 49. Besides the victory, Coach Micah Russell can brag that they posted the highest score in the league so far.

The win brings Black Micahs' record to 8 - 2, while dropping Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 4 - 6.

Two of the key players in this fight were real-life teammates, as Black Micahs' Aaron Jones squared off against Aaron Rodgers. While they were on the same team, they sure didn't deliver the same result. For Aaron Jones' part, he delivered 22 points for Black Micahs. Jones carved up the Panthers defense on this 13-yard touchdown run, his third score of the game and 14th score of the season.

On the other hand, Aaron Rodgers was not living up to his star status, dropping only 4 points. Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for Rodgers, who has seen his point total drop in each of the last three weeks.

The rest of Coach Russell's lineup followed Jones' lead, scoring 87 more points. Of that crew, Patrick Mahomes led the way with 24 points. Mahomes has become something of a lodestar for Black Micahs, as they have never lost when he overperforms his expectations, going 4 - 0.

Coach Russell certainly deserved the win, given their lineup decisions. They started the 49ers Defense/ST instead of the Bears Defense/ST, despite the experts' prediction that the Bears should have played.

This decision netted Coach Russell an extra 10 points, which just made the final result that much more embarrassing. Coach Russell's lineup moves this week also allowed them to move into positive territory for the year, giving their team 3 points more than the experts would have.

Black Micahs' next game will be against The Brainers in a rematch from week four. Black Micahs lost the previous matchup 82 to 69. However, Black Micahs were without the 49ers during that game.

Ratings might be a little low when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum takes on Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week, as the matchup will feature the two teams in the league that have scored the fewest points. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum might be feeling extra confident about that game, as Big Tex's Pillow Biters limps in on a three game losing streak.

Lamar Jackson has been coming through for The Brainers all year, and this week was no different. Jackson was the key component as The Brainers got the job done against Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 67 to 60. His 28 point performance this week moves him up to being the 4th best player in the league this season. He threw three touchdown passes Sunday and achieved a perfect 158.3 passer rating, but far and away his most impressive moment came on this QB keeper with one of the dirtiest spin moves you’ll ever see, leading to a 47-yard touchdown run and dirty laundry strewn across the field.

The Brainers also got a big effort from the Rams Defense/ST (10 points above expected). The Rams have now gone three weeks without dipping below the average Defense/ST's points.

Meanwhile, The Giants Defense/ST was the main culprit in Pinko Commie Bastards' loss, scoring only 2 points. The Giants have now failed to top the league average Defense/ST in four straight games.

Coach Erran Yearty certainly can't blame the loss on Golden Tate, who scored 15 points. Tate set his high mark for the season with that effort.

The win brings The Brainers' record to 7 - 3, while dropping Pinko Commie Bastards to 2 - 8.

Both teams face trouble in the upcoming schedule. The Brainers did what they were suppose to do against Pinko Commie Bastards, but now they will have to step their game up agianst stiffer comptetion over the next two games, starting with Black Micahs next week. Coach Micah Russell's team will come into the game with some momentum, having posted 109 points this week.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will collide with DenBro. DenBro will get to start the league's hottest player in Christian McCaffrey.

Alcoholniks made sure that they didn't become the 6th straight team to lose to DenBro. Alcoholniks tightroped past DenBro, winning 45 to 44. The 1 point margin that separated these two teams is the smallest gap of the season so far.

The win makes it three in a row for Alcoholniks, giving them a record of 7 - 3. The loss drops DenBro's record to 6 - 4.

The Ravens Defense/ST separated themselves from the rest of the crew on Alcoholniks, producing 22 points. No other Defense/ST scored more points than that this week. Given their low point total, it's not surprising that Alcoholniks had several underperformers (seven to be exact). Tyrell Williams was the worst of them, scoring only 1 point.1

Meanwhile, DenBro can place the blame for this loss squarely on Drew Brees, who managed only 5 points.2 Brees fell farther short of his expected points than any other player this week.

Tyler Lockett added to DenBro's troubles, scoring only 1 point. Lockett left Monday night’s game with a lower leg injury and did not return, finding a seat on the bench as the Seahawks headed to overtime. DenBro only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Christian McCaffrey scoring 12 points.

Coach Claeboe's gameday decisions have been some of the best in the league this season, and this week showed why. He wound up with a perfect lineup this week, albeit by following the CBSSports projections to the letter. This is the first time all season that Coach Claeboe has pulled that off.

The road ahead for DenBro gets much easier as they face league doormat Pinko Commie Bastards. As for Alcoholniks, they will square off against SkinFan.

Coach Patrick jolle probably wanted to take a vacation after last week's down-to-the-wire contest. They got a mini-vacation in this week's blowout. Zombie Werewolves gave Big Tex's Pillow Biters a 64 to 36 drubbing.

Zombie Werewolves improve to 5 - 5 after winning four out of their last five games. The defeat is the 3rd in a row for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, which leaves them with a 1 - 9 record.

Zombie Werewolves had almost all of their firepower going off before the end of the Sunday early games, and they got Coach Jolle's squad off to a solid start. Derrick Henry drove the bus, scoring 22 points. Henry sidestepped a few tackles and then left everyone in his wake as he barreled down the field for this 68-yard touchdown run.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters were putting up a sub-par effort. They got a total of 3 points from Saquon Barkley and Damien Williams. Barkley ran the ball 13 times for one (yes, one) total rushing yard.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters were already facing long odds going into the Sunday late games. Any hope they had left evaporated after Jared Goff scored negative 2 points.

Coach Jolle might have had a little too much fun last week, as they didn't set their team's lineup. They left Adam Thielen in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. They also left Matt Prater in the lineup (Younghoe Koo would have been 6 points better). They have now cost their team points in both of the last two weeks.

Next week will see Zombie Werewolves taking on the 5 - 5 Homesick Abortions. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 25 points this week. Zombie Werewolves won't have Derrick Henry available to start in the contest.

In what should be a crawl to the finish, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will take on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week in a battle between the two lowest scoring teams in the league. That contest will be a rematch from week five, when Big Tex's Pillow Biters lost 45 to 38.

Coach Tim Fabrizio have made more lineup changes than any other coach in the league, and this week all that shuffling paid off. They got every lineup spot right, as SkinFan (5 - 5) thoroughly dominated Homesick Abortions (5 - 5), winning 73 to 25.

SkinFan were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. Kyler Murray paced the team by beating the average quarterback by 7.2 points, while Chris Boswell (3.6 points worse than the average kicker) was the worst on the team. Murray showed off his cannon of an arm on this stand-still 69-yard touchdown pass to Christian Kirk that traveled about 40 of those yards in the air.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions had many underperformers, but Brian Hoyer stood out, notching only 3 points.1 Hoyer might be heading back to the waiver wire after getting picked up before this game.

Homesick Abortions also had to deal with a poor effort from the Panthers Defense/ST (4.4 points below expected). The Panthers' 2 points were the fewest they have scored so far this year.

A key injury will make this loss for Homesick Abortions sting even more. Emmanuel Sanders hauled in two catches before being knocked out of Monday night’s contest with a rib injury suffered during the second quarter.

Unfortunately for SkinFan, they will play Alcoholniks next week, who is riding a three-game win streak. That might have been a daunting task three weeks ago to SkinFan, who had just lost their 4th game in a row. But this isn't three weeks ago as they are now riding a two game winning steak.

As for Homesick Abortions, they will take on Zombie Werewolves in a battle of two 5 - 5 teams. Zombie Werewolves will have to put their running back depth to the test in that one, as Derrick Henry has his bye week.

Coach Don Zimmerman might have been looking to rest their nerves a bit after last week's nailbiter. They got the rest, and the win. DenBro left Pinko Commie Bastards wondering where it all went wrong, winning 77 to 38. The win brings DenBro's record to 7 - 4, while dropping Pinko Commie Bastards to 2 - 9.

The Saints Defense/ST did about as good for DenBro this week as they did bad last week. Although DenBro won with a balanced effort, The Saints was just a bit ahead of the others, delivering 17 points.1 That was the 2nd most of any Defense/ST this week.

Meanwhile, the Steelers Defense/ST hadn't dropped the ball for Pinko Commie Bastards since week one's stinker. Well, that run has come to an end. The Steelers were the worst of five underperformers, dropping 1 point.2 No other Defense/ST scored fewer points than that this week. Their performance also ended a seven game streak of beating the league average.

Adding injury to insult, Pinko Commie Bastards had a key player go down. James Conner picked up just 10 yards on the ground and six through the air before reaggravating a right shoulder injury in the first half Thursday night. He did not return to the game.

Coach Zimmerman can't let their team get overconfident, as they face much tougher competition over the next three weeks than they did in their win against Pinko Commie Bastards this week, starting with The Brainers next week. The Brainers have been racking up the points recently also, posting five straight 65+ point games.

Next week Pinko Commie Bastards will take on Big Tex's Pillow Biters in a matchup of the two worst teams in the league. Both teams will enter that game trying to recover from the beatings they each took this week.

Lamar Jackson was expected to be the top performing QB this week, and that's exactly what he was. The Brainers pounded Black Micahs into submission, winning 89 to 50 behind 28 points from Jackson. He is likely now the MVP frontrunner after yet another dominant game that included four touchdown passes and a couple elusive runs for a total of 86 rushing yards.

Stefon Diggs helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 7.4 points. Diggs' performance this week stopped his three game streak of not meeting his projections. The Brainers only had one underperfoming player, with Mike Evans scoring only 3 points.1

Black Micahs are bound to have a hard time winning when Tyreek Hill has a bad week, and that's just what happened. The Cheetah was the worst of five underperformers, racking up zero points. That was fewer than every other wide receiver this week. His momentum from last week's 13 point performance apparently didn't carry over.

In the loss, Black Micahs had three solid performers, with Travis Kelce, the 49ers Defense/ST, and Carlos Hyde scoring 32 points. Kelce scored 10 points, which made him the top performer on Black Micahs for the first time this year.

With the win, The Brainers moved to 8 - 3, good for the top spot in the East Side division. The loss drops Black Micahs' record to an identical 8 - 3.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. Next week, The Brainers will take on the 7 - 4 DenBro. Coach Don Zimmerman's team just had a huge week, having posted 77 points. One of those teams will face a big comedown from this week, as they both won easily.

Meanwhile, Black Micahs will take on Homesick Abortions next week. Good timing, as Homesick Abortions will come into the matchup on a five game losing streak.

Alcoholniks entered this week's game with a three game winning streak, but couldn't keep it going against SkinFan. SkinFan strolled past Alcoholniks, winning 49 to 37.

The win gets SkinFan back above .500 at 6 - 5.

SkinFan got a nice group performance in the win, as five players beat their positional averages. Kyle Rudolph was the best of the bunch, notching 9 points.1 That makes it three straight games of overperforming expectations for Rudolph.

Kyle Allen provided the only truly sour note for SkinFan this week, as he scored -2 points. Allen fell farther short of his expected points than any other player.

Philip Rivers has been let go by multiple fantasy squads so far this year, and this week he showed why. Coach Nick Claeboe saw some familiar names among his bad players this week. Rivers, Tevin Coleman, and Greg Zuerlein continued to disappoint, combining for 13 points. Coach Claeboe found out why Rivers was available on the waiver wire this week.

Alcoholniks only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with the Patriots Defense/ST scoring 11 points.

Coach Tim Fabrizio's lineup decisions earned their team points last week, and did again this week. They went with Kyle Rudolph over the higher ranked Gerald Everett.

This decision boosted SkinFan's final score by 8 points. Coach Fabrizio ought to take a lesson from the fact that taking risks worked out this week. Their team has a much better record when they bucks the experts' advice for at least one player

Something has to give next week when SkinFan and Zombie Werewolves clash, as they each come into the game on three game winning streaks. As for Alcoholniks, they will square off against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won't have Austin Ekeler available to start in that contest.

You're not going to win many games scoring the fewest points of any team for the week, and Homesick Abortions (5 - 6) found that out the hard way. They couldn't stay with Zombie Werewolves (6 - 5), losing 48 to 34. With those 34 points, Homesick Abortions were last in the league for the 2nd straight week.

Both squads keep their momentum (or in the case of Homesick Abortions, "momentum") going as a result of this match. The victory makes it three in a row for Zombie Werewolves. This loss brings Homesick Abortions' losing streak to five in a row.

When Coach Patrick jolle entertained thoughts of winning this game, they probably didn't include the two players that ended up leading the way. Calvin Ridley scored 13 points, and Younghoe Koo was close behind with 11. Ridley's 13 points represent the most he's had this year. He sprinted across the back of the end zone and reeled in this six-yard pass from a scrambling Matt Ryan during a romp over the Panthers.

Kirk Cousins was kept on Zombie Werewolves' bench in the victory, but he didn't let that discourage him, as he went off for 20 points. Cousins did better than any player actually in Zombie Werewolves' starting lineup this week.

Meanwhile, Deshaun Watson loomed large in the loss for Homesick Abortions, scoring -1 points. Watson is in the midst of a troubling sequence, having seen his point total fall every week for the last three weeks. He was pretty much bottled up Sunday, tossing an interception and losing a fumble while getting sacked, and failing to score a touchdown for the first time in his NFL career.

Joey Slye falling 5.5 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Homesick Abortions has never won when Slye failed to hit his expected points, going 0 - 5. The only real legit performance that Homesick Abortions got came courtesy of Marvin Jones, who scored 14 points.

Both teams have a tough upcoming schedule. Homesick Abortions will be going against Black Micahs next week. Black Micahs lost this week, and will be looking to avoid their first back-to-back losses.

Something has to give next week when Zombie Werewolves and SkinFan clash, as they each come into the game on three game winning streaks. Zombie Werewolves have now been an underdog in both the last two weeks, and won both times. Maybe they'll get a bit more credit going into their next one.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters came into this week with the worst record in the league, and finished this week with the worst record in the league. They got beat down by Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, losing 66 to 47. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days. Big Tex's Pillow Biters has been involved in three straight blowout games, while this is the 2nd straight blowout game for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

The loss is the 4th straight for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, and puts their record at 1 - 10. The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 5 - 6.

Josh Allen made it into the starting lineup for the first time this week, and he definitely made the most of it. Allen made it rain for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, totaling 28 points. He overperformed his expectations by more than any other player. That makes it six straight games where he has outperformed the league average quarterback.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got a better-than-expected performance from Mark Andrews, who beat his projections by 4.2 points. Andrews had Texans slipping and sliding all over the secondary on this huge 51-yard catch and rumble down the field.

John Brown did his best to give Big Tex's Pillow Biters a chance to win. Brown scored 18 points, which topped all wide receivers this week. Unfortunately for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, he was the only player on the whole team that had a legit good performance.

Jared Goff was clearly the weakest link for Coach William Hayes and the gang as he delivered 1 point.1 Coach Hayes has to be used to bad scores from Goff, who has been the worst performer on Big Tex's Pillow Biters more times than any other player.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters better not be making a habit out of losing to a sub .500 team, as they face off against the dreadful Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Ratings for that game might be a little low, as the matchup will feature the two worst teams in the league.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will be playing Alcoholniks. That team will limp into next week's game having posted less than 45 points each of the last two weeks. They will have to play without Austin Ekeler, who has a bye week.

Pinko Commie Bastards had gotten terrible production out their wide receivers this season (3rd worst in the league), but this week it was a whole different story. Pinko Commie Bastards used a big game from their wide receivers to take down Big Tex's Pillow Biters 83 to 42. Chris Godwin scored 22 points, while Odell Beckham scored 10. Beckham's performance this week ended a four game streak of failing to hit his projections.

Pinko Commie Bastards also got a big effort from George Kittle (9.8 points above expected). Kittle absolutely torched the Green Bay secondary on this wide-open 61-yard catch and run from Jimmy Garoppolo on a night when the Niners could do no wrong.

Meanwhile, Jared Goff stuck out as the worst performer for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, producing zero points. Goff has now been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks. He was outdueled by the MVP frontrunner on every front, as Goff threw no touchdowns for the third week in a row while sprinkling in two interceptions and losing a yard on the ground.

Goff had plenty of company, with Saquon Barkley (2 points) being the worst of four other underperformers. Underperforming is the new normal for Barkley, who has gone three straight games without hitting his projected point total.

The win brings Pinko Commie Bastards' record to 3 - 9, while dropping Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 1 - 11.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters will try to turn things around versus Alcoholniks next week. Coach Hayes will be happy to see that Alcoholniks is coming into next week's game having scored less than 45 points in their previous two games. Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will collide with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Alcoholniks' point total had gotten lower and lower for each of the past three weeks, and it fell again this week. Coach Nick Claeboe's team were on the losing side of a blowout, falling 52 to 33 at the hands of Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Alcoholniks have averaged 35 points during their last two games - not what was expected of them as the 2nd highest scoring team going into week eleven.

The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back to even at 6 - 6.

DeAndre Hopkins was the key contributor for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, putting up 16 points. This is the 2nd time this year that Hopkins has led Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. He made big catch after big catch Thursday night, including this top-tier 30-yard touchdown catch to give the Texans a lead they would not relinquish.

Alcoholniks saw seven different players underperform, and while none of them particularly stuck out, Russell Wilson and his 5 points was officially the worst.1 That's the fewest points that he's scored this year. Another underperformer, kicker Jake Elliott, was the worst at his position this week.

Alcoholniks only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with the Ravens Defense/ST scoring 12 points.

There's a favorable schedule ahead for both teams. Alcoholniks will match up with Big Tex's Pillow Biters, a team currently on a five game losing skid. Alcoholniks will come into the next game having lost their last two. It's a big change from two weeks ago, when Alcoholniks had won their 3rd game in a row.

As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will square off against Pinko Commie Bastards. Pinko Commie Bastards won this week, but that might be a good thing for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, since Pinko Commie Bastards has yet to win back-to-back games.

This matchup was a heat check for both these squads. DenBro had scored the most points of any team over the last three weeks, while The Brainers had scored the second most points of any team over the last three weeks. The Brainers were the team that rose up to the challenge.

The Brainers got past DenBro without much trouble, winning 81 to 66. The Brainers have now won three games in a row, which gives them a 9 - 3 record. The loss drops DenBro's record to 7 - 5.

The Brainers had the good fortune of having the league's best player this week in Lamar Jackson. Jackson was a one-man wrecking crew, dropping 32 points. His performance on Monday night took him from the 2nd best player to the best player in the league. He finished his MNF debut with 95 rushing yards and five touchdown passes (with zero incompletions through the first half) all without playing the majority of the fourth quarter.

The Brainers would have won by a more comfortable margin if Coach Chuck Rittenhouse had put Jared Cook (10 points) in the lineup. Coach Rittenhouse may want to consider putting Cook in the starting lineup, after he notched 17 points in the last two weeks.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of chefs cooking up this week's loss for DenBro. They had four underperformers, with Kenny Stills (zero points) being the worst. Stills' zero points made him the worst starter on his team for the 2nd time this season.

The four overperformers on Coach Don Zimmerman's squad did their part to balance things out (and then some). Christian McCaffrey was the best of them, scoring 18 points.1 McCaffrey has now gone seven weeks without dipping below the average running back's points.

Next week will feature a mirror image matchup as the 7 - 5 DenBro will take on the 7 - 5 Zombie Werewolves. As for The Brainers, they will match up with Homesick Abortions.

Zombie Werewolves have been relying on Derrick Henry all year, and he came through again this week. Henry led the way as Zombie Werewolves got past SkinFan, winning 65 to 60. He has now overperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games. He looked fresh coming off the bye, dominating the Jaguars for 175 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns, including a 74-yard breakout run that featured his patented stiff-arm.

Coach Patrick jolle's squad won despite bad games from Jason Witten, the Colts Defense/ST, and Tom Brady, who together posted 13 points. Witten has now failed to top the league average tight end in seven straight games.

Meanwhile, SkinFan had a very balanced lineup, but it was balanced at too low of a level. Baker Mayfield topped the quarterback average by 7.7 points to lead the team, while Dallas Goedert fell only 4.8 points short of the average TE in bringing up the rear. Goedert's -1 point performance was worse than every other tight end this week.

With the win, Zombie Werewolves continues their four-game streak of success, and gives them a record of 7 - 5. The loss drops SkinFan's record to 6 - 6.

Next week will see Zombie Werewolves taking on the 7 - 5 DenBro. DenBro will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 65+ point games. Meanwhile, SkinFan will be playing Black Micahs next week. That team is not coming in very hot, after finishing this week with only 22 points.

This game was expected to be close. Homesick Abortions found those expectations insulting. They destroyed Black Micahs, winning 54 to 22. The win brought Homesick Abortions' five game losing streak to an end.

The win gets Homesick Abortions back to .500 with a 6 - 6 record. After suffering their first back-to-back losses of the season, Black Micahs sits at 8 - 4.

Leonard Fournette was the clear leader on Homesick Abortions this week, recording 19 points. That was the most that any running back collected this week. He had just one rushing touchdown coming into Week 12; he left with two more after getting a couple opportunities to punch it in deep in the red zone.

Joey Slye helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 4 points. Homesick Abortions is still perfect in games where Slye overperforms, going 6 - 0.

Black Micahs, meanwhile, were having a terrible time moving the ball down the field, with the whole team gaining only 211 yards. That was the lowest yards gained total of any team this week. There's no pointing fingers in Black Micahs' loss as they failed all over the place. They were brought down by four underperformers, the worst of whom was Aaron Jones (38 total yards).

Coach Chris Crowder did his part in the victory, setting a perfect lineup. That took more than just following the experts' advice. He started Marvin Jones instead of Amari Cooper, despite the experts' prediction that Cooper should have played.

This decision netted Coach Crowder an extra 2 points, which only added to Homesick Abortions' domination. This is the first time all year that Coach Crowder has set a perfect lineup (slow clap).

Coach Crowder will put his managerial prowess to work against The Brainers next week. Bad timing for Homesick Abortions, as The Brainers will come into the matchup on a three game winning streak. The Brainers brings in the best player in the league over the past three weeks: Lamar Jackson. Meanwhile, Black Micahs will take on SkinFan next week.

Zombie Werewolves came into this week's match-up on a four-game win streak, but DenBro put an end to that, winning 69 to 62. The win brings DenBro's record to 8 - 5, while dropping Zombie Werewolves to 7 - 6.

The bottom part of Coach Don Zimmerman's draft came through for them this week. Rashaad Penny scored 16 points, and Courtland Sutton was close behind with 15. Sutton has become something of a lodestar for DenBro, as they have never lost when he overperforms his expectations, going 3 - 0. He fully committed to make this outstanding one-handed 26-yard diving grab in the end zone for his first of two touchdown catches on the afternoon.

DenBro got the win despite leaving Davante Adams and his 15 points on the bench. Adams has been making his case to start recently, having scored 25 points over the past two weeks.

Meanwhile, while balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Zombie Werewolves this week. Alshon Jeffery paced the team by beating the average wide receiver by 6.3 points, while Nick Chubb (3.2 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team. Chubb's 3 point performance made him the worst performer on Zombie Werewolves for the first time this year.

DenBro will face off against Alcoholniks next week. DenBro will get to face Alcoholniks while that squad is in the middle of a three game losing streak.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will take on Homesick Abortions. The game will be a rematch from week eleven, but Zombie Werewolves will have Derrick Henry available, who had his bye week during the first matchup.

Coach Nick Claeboe has to be kicking himself for his lineup decisions this week. He left Julio Jones in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. He also left Jonathan Williams in the lineup when Phillip Lindsay was expected to get more points off the bench.

That cost his team 13 points, which cost his team the game as Alcoholniks (7 - 6) got beat by Big Tex's Pillow Biters (2 - 11), 53 to 46.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters put forth a decent effort Sunday. They were powered by Jared Goff, who scored 18 points. Quite an improvement from last week, when Goff scored no points.

Meanwhile, Coach Claeboe's squad was taking a collective personal day. They had four underperformers, with Jonathan Williams (zero points) bringing up the rear.

Alcoholniks also had to deal with a poor effort from the Ravens Defense/ST (4.7 points below expected). The Ravens' performance this week ended a four game streak of beating the experts' projections.

Things were not looking good at all for Alcoholniks heading into Monday night. Coach Claeboe needed Russell Wilson and Kyle Rudolph to come up with 28 points. Wilson and Rudolph gave it a good effort, but their 21 points weren't nearly enough.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. The schedule for Alcoholniks brings DenBro around next week. DenBro have been racking up the points recently, posting three straight 60+ point games. The game will be a rematch from week ten, and Coach Claeboe will no doubt be hoping that the Ravens Defense/ST can drop 22 points like he did last time.

Next week Big Tex's Pillow Biters squares off against Pinko Commie Bastards in a game you might not want to watch if it was in your own back yard, as it features the two worse teams in the league. That will be a rematch from week twelve, when Big Tex's Pillow Biters had no chance, losing by 41 points.

Black Micahs came into the game as the biggest favorite this week and proceeded to make the experts look good. They skated by SkinFan pretty easily, winning 57 to 44. Just another good result from the leagues' all-time leader in winning percentage.

The loss drops SkinFan back below .500 at 6 - 7. The win brings Black Micahs to 9 - 4.

Black Micahs had several players step up in the win, as five starters beat their positional averages. Chris Carson was the first among equals, dropping 11 points.1 That made him the top performer on Black Micahs for the first time this year. He topped 100 rushing yards Monday night and was able to cap off this drive with a one-yard TD run to get Seattle on the board.

Coach Micah Russell's squad overcame bad performances from three players: Aaron Jones, Tyreek Hill, and the Bears Defense/ST, who collectively came up with 8 points. Jones mustered just 18 rushing yards on 11 carries for an abysmal 1.6 yards per carry.

Meanwhile, SkinFan had plenty of duds in the loss. Terry McLaurin was the worst of a five man group of underperformers, posting zero points. Coach Tim Fabrizio have to be used to bad scores from McLaurin, who has been the worst performer on SkinFan more times than any other player. He has now underperformed the experts' predictions in six straight games.

Dalvin Cook has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 3.8 fewer points than he was expected to. The Chef injured his shoulder and left Monday night’s game during this play in which he fumbled the ball away, but the Vikings believe the injury is not serious. SkinFan only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Keenan Allen scoring 9 points.

Coach Fabrizio could have won this game with the right lineup. They went with Terry McLaurin over the higher ranked Michael Gallup.

This decision cost SkinFan a total of 3 points. If Coach Fabrizio had left McLaurin on the bench and also started Devin Singletary and the Bills Defense/ST, SkinFan would have won the game.

Both teams face trouble in the upcoming schedule. Next week will see Black Micahs taking on the 7 - 6 Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Unfortunately for Black Micahs, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum are coming into their matchup on a three game winning streak.

Meanwhile, SkinFan will be playing The Brainers. The Brainers will enter the game with Lamar Jackson, who has been the best player in the league.

The experts predicted this would be a close game. The experts were wrong...big time. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum stomped all over Pinko Commie Bastards 60 to 28. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum has been involved in four straight blowout games, while this is the 3rd straight blowout game for Pinko Commie Bastards.

The win gets Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back above .500 at 7 - 6. Pinko Commie Bastards are now 3 - 10 after losing three out of their last four games.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum relied heavily on Aaron Rodgers, who produced 25 points. Rodgers' performance this week ended a three game streak of failing to perform at a league average level.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got a better-than-expected performance from Allen Robinson, who beat his projections by 3.8 points. Robinson lined up at the dinner table and claimed the first Thanksgiving touchdown this year with this 10-yard reception from Mitchell Trubisky.

Meanwhile, Zane Gonzalez and Jameis Winston were the captain and first mate on the good ship failboat. Together they delivered only 5 points. Gonzalez's 1 point was the fewest he has scored this year.

In addition to Gonzalez and Winston, Pinko Commie Bastards had five other underperforming players this week, including Odell Beckham, who scored only 1 point. Beckham was targeted six times but caught just three balls and finished with less than 30 yards for the third time this season. The Steelers Defense/ST was the only player on the team that didn't underperform, scoring 13 points.

Next week, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will be playing Black Micahs. The matchup will feature the two top TE's in the league, as Mark Andrews meets up with Austin Hooper.

As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will match up with Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. The game might be painful to watch, as Pinko Commie Bastards and Big Tex's Pillow Biters have the two worst records in the league.

The Brainers started week thirteen with the best record in the league, and finished week thirteen with the best record in the league. They completely dismantled Homesick Abortions, winning 77 to 23. The 77 points The Brainers scored set the high mark for the league this week.

That's four straight wins for The Brainers, for those of you counting, bringing their record to 10 - 3. The loss drops Homesick Abortions to 6 - 7, and sinks them to the bottom of our internal power rankings.

The Brainers had two main stars in Wil Lutz and the Rams Defense/ST, who together dropped 34 points. Lutz's 17 points topped all kickers this week.

In addition to Lutz and the Rams, The Brainers got three other good efforts, including 11 points from Todd Gurley. Gurley ran straight at the big bodies and kept on churning until he found paydirt on this one-yard rushing TD.

The Brainers won despite bad games from Mike Evans and Jarvis Landry, who together notched 5 points. Coach Chuck Rittenhouse has to be used to bad scores from Evans, who has been the worst performer on The Brainers more times than any other player.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions had many underperformers, but Nick Foles stood out, scoring -5 points. Foles struggled mightily Sunday, completing just 7-of-14 and tossing an interception before being benched in favor of Gardner Minshew. The Jaguars have lost all three games since Foles’ return from injury. Foles' performance was also the worst of any player this season.

Foles was part of a group of seven underperformers, with D.K. Metcalf (only 1 point) being the worst of the rest. On top of the loss, Coach Chris Crowder took some long-term damage to his lineup. Greg Olsen was knocked out of Sunday’s game in the third quarter and diagnosed with a concussion after taking a helmet-to-helmet hit. Olsen had caught all three of his targets for 22 yards to that point.

It was just another brilliant day at the office for Coach Rittenhouse- the best gameday decision-maker in the league this season. He made the right call on every personnel decision this week. This is the first time this year that Coach Rittenhouse has pulled that off.

The Brainers' next game will be against SkinFan in a rematch from week six. The Brainers won the previous matchup in a blowout. The game ought to be quite the strategic battle as it will feature the best gameday coaches in the league.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will collide with Zombie Werewolves. The game will be a rematch from week eleven, but Zombie Werewolves will have Derrick Henry, who had his bye week during the first matchup.

The Brainers exceeded their expectations for seven straight weeks coming into this game, did it again, and were rewarded with a victory. They demolished SkinFan (6 - 8), winning 82 to 46. The win is more of the same for The Brainers, who won the last game with SkinFan by the similarly triumphant score of 55 to 27.

The result fits the recent pattern for both of these teams. The win brings The Brainers' winning streak to five games. The loss makes it three in a row for SkinFan.

Two of the key players in this fight were real-life teammates, as The Brainers' Ezekiel Elliott squared off against Michael Gallup. While they were on the same team, they sure didn't deliver the same result. Ezekiel Elliott did great for The Brainers, recording 16 points. That's the most points that he's scored this year.

On the flip side, Michael Gallup was not having a typical Michael Gallup week, delivering only 5 points. Gallup has now underperformed the league average wide receiver in three straight games.

The other players on The Brainers had Elliott's back, coming up with 66 points. That group was led by Lamar Jackson, who scored 18 points. Jackson absolutely stole a pair of ankles from a would-be Bills tackler on this QB keeper to pick up a bit of yardage instead of taking a loss.

Drew Brees balled out for both the Saints and DenBro, but unfortunately it wasn't enough for either team. Brees was the key component as DenBro made it look easy against Alcoholniks, winning 58 to 32. His 37 point performance was the 2nd best of any player this season. He was responsible for six touchdowns Sunday, including five through the air and this dive over the pile and into the end zone. Brees’ heroics, however, were not enough to secure the win as the Saints’ defense gave up 48 points at home.

DenBro overcame a poor effort from Rashaad Penny (4.2 points below expected). Penny must have gotten tired from racking up 16 points last week.

Russell Wilson has been clutch for Alcoholniks this year, but failed to show up this week. Wilson and Alvin Kamara combined to drop 2 points for Alcoholniks. Wilson might have conceded the MVP race Sunday night when he failed to throw a touchdown while tossing a pick during a bad loss to the Rams. His performances have been a good barometer for Alcoholniks this season, as they have gone 3 - 4 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 3 - 1 when he meets them.

Wilson and Kamara were joined by four other underperformers, including Derrius Guice, who scored only 2 points.

With the win, DenBro have now won three out of their last four games, bringing their record to 9 - 5. Another defeat makes it four in a row for Alcoholniks, putting their record at 7 - 7.

Zombie Werewolves earned a pretty comfortable victory over Homesick Abortions, winning 79 to 62. Zombie Werewolves set their new high mark for the season with those 79 points. The win brings Zombie Werewolves' record to 8 - 6, while dropping Homesick Abortions to 6 - 8.

Derrick Henry led a very balanced group of five overperformers for Zombie Werewolves this week, notching 17 points.1 After Henry's performance, he moved up to being the 5th best player in the league. He took the path of most resistance straight up the gut and still found his way to the end zone on this 10-yard rushing TD.

Another one of Zombie Werewolves' good players, kicker Younghoe Koo, got the 2nd highest score at his position this week.

Meanwhile, The Panthers Defense/ST and Leonard Fournette were double trouble for Homesick Abortions, together posting only 3 points. The Panthers' 1 point was the fewest they have scored this year. They have now underperformed the experts' predictions in five straight games.

On the coaching front, the difference in tactical skill showed this week. Coach Patrick jolle followed the experts' advice for each position and ended up with a perfect lineup. This is the first time all season that Coach Jolle has pulled that off.

Coach Chris Crowder appears to have been too busy to set his lineup this week. He left Evan Engram in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. He also left the Panthers Defense/ST in the lineup (the Chargers Defense/ST would have been 5 points better). He has been outsmarted by the experts more than any other coach in the league this season, having cost his team 76 points.

Zombie Werewolves' next game will be against Black Micahs in a rematch from week five. Zombie Werewolves ended up getting crushed in the previous matchup by 26 points. Coach Jolle will no doubt be worried that Aaron Jones will drop another 32 points for Black Micahs like he did last time.

As for Homesick Abortions, they will square off against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. Homesick Abortions will have long odds to win if Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum scores another 98 points, like they did this week.

There were several blowouts this week, but none bigger than this one. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum crushed Black Micahs, winning 98 to 58. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum got some measure of revenge on Black Micahs for their matchup back in week ten, when Black Micahs crushed Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum 109 to 49.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum have now finished off four straight opponents after this win, which brings their record to 8 - 6. Thanks to the loss, Black Micahs have now come out on the losing end of three of their last four games, moving their record to 9 - 5.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum got good efforts from almost everyone on the squad, with seven players topping their positional averages. Zach Ertz was just a bit ahead of the others, producing 16 points.1 That topped all but two tight ends this season.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got a big effort from Austin Ekeler (10 points above expected). Ekeler caught this ball behind the line of scrimmage and was off to the races, dashing 84 yards untouched to the end zone.

It was, unfortunately, a costly win for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Mark Andrews managed just one catch for 14 yards before being knocked out of Sunday’s game with a knee injury, although the tight end should be available to go for Week 15.

Meanwhile, Black Micahs really lost this game as a team. They were brought down by four underperformers, the worst of whom was the 49ers Defense/ST (2 points). Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for the 49ers, who have seen their point total drop in each of the last four weeks.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum benefited from smart coaching this week. Coach Wetzel left the Jets Defense/ST and David Montgomery on the bench in favor of the Vikings Defense/ST and David Johnson, who were both expected to score less.

These great decisions gave Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum a nice 14 point bonus, which just made the final result that much more embarrassing. After their decisions this week, Coach Wetzel's lineup moves are now a net-plus for the year (1 point better than the experts).

Coach Wetzel will bring that tactical skill to bear against Homesick Abortions next week. This game is a rematch, but it might not look the same as week eight, since Homesick Abortions will have Amari Cooper available this time around.

Meanwhile, Black Micahs will collide with Zombie Werewolves next week. These two teams squared off in week five, when Black Micahs won easily.

Pinko Commie Bastards just outclassed Big Tex's Pillow Biters this week, earning a 70 to 55 victory. The win brings Pinko Commie Bastards' record to 4 - 10, while dropping Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 2 - 12.

After coming up with all of 4 points last week, Jameis Winston came up clutch this week. Winston separated himself from the rest of the crew on Pinko Commie Bastards, recording 30 points. That gave him the most points on Pinko Commie Bastards for the first time this season.

George Kittle helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 4.4 points. Kittle looked like he might never go down on this monster 4th-and-2 reception that put the 49ers in position late to kick the game-winning field goal.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters had a very balanced lineup, but it was balanced at too low of a level. Michael Thomas topped the wide receiver average by 6.4 points to lead the team, while John Brown fell only 4.6 points short of the average WR in bringing up the rear. Big Tex's Pillow Biters has never won when Brown failed to hit his expected points, going 0 - 5.

Coach William Hayes has made some poor lineup calls this week, but that's nothing new for one of the league's bottom-ranked coaches. He started Brown instead of Robert Woods, despite the experts' prediction that Woods should have played.

This decision took a 10 point chunk out of Big Tex's Pillow Biters' final score, which--thankfully for Coach Hayes--didn't matter much this game. It did make it back-to-back weeks now where Coach Hayes has cost his team points.

Hopefully Coach Micah Russell have been able to find excitement in the non-fantasy parts of their life. After last week's blowout, they were involved in another run away game. Black Micahs beat Zombie Werewolves Like a drum, winning 92 to 39. The win is part of a larger trend for Black Micahs. In each of the last three weeks they have scored more points than the week before.

With the loss, Zombie Werewolves will close the season at 8 - 7. The win brings Black Micahs to 10 - 5.

Black Micahs had never lost when Chris Carson overperformed his expectations, and that held true again this week. Although Black Micahs won with a balanced effort, Carson was the best of the bunch, putting up 18 points.

Black Micahs also got a big effort from Tyreek Hill (9.2 points above expected). Hill burnt his defenders on a snow-covered field to reel in this perfect 41-yard TD pass for the first points of the game.

Black Micahs only had one player who underperformed this week, with The 49ers Defense/ST scoring only 4 points. That made them the worst performer on Black Micahs for the first time this year.

Meanwhile, while balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Zombie Werewolves this week. Nick Chubb paced the team by beating the average running back by 5.7 points, while Emmanuel Sanders (5.4 points worse than the average wide receiver) was the worst on the team.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum started the post-season off with a bang. They gave Homesick Abortions a 77 to 47 drubbing.

The win makes it five in a row for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, giving them a record of 9 - 6. Homesick Abortions will finish their season at 6 - 9.

The Vikings Defense/ST was the clear leader on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this week, notching 26 points. No other Defense/ST scored more points than that this week. Their performance was also the 3rd best of any Defense/ST this season.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got a better-than-expected performance from Ryan Tannehill, who beat his projections by 8 points. That makes it seven straight games of overperforming expectations for Tannehill. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won despite bad games from David Montgomery, Austin Ekeler, and Kenny Golladay, who together posted 6 points.

The Browns Defense/ST have played on three different teams this year, and may need a new change of scenery after this week. The Browns were the worst of six underperformers, producing 2 points.1 Another underperformer, quarterback Deshaun Watson, was the worst at his position this week.

Homesick Abortions only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with D.K. Metcalf scoring 7 points.2

This was expected to be a close game. It was anything but. DenBro destroyed Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 64 to 41. DenBro's win ended Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's five game winning streak.

The victory makes it three in a row for DenBro, which gives them a 10 - 5 record. The loss brings the season to an end for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, who finishes at 9 - 7.

Kenyan Drake was the key contributor for DenBro, delivering 21 points. That made him the top performer on DenBro for the first time this year. He showed out big for the second week in a row, busting this 80-yard touchdown run in the first quarter to get the Cardinals on the board.

Drew Brees helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 7.6 points. Brees hasn't been messing around recently, performing better than any other starter over the last three weeks.

Meanwhile, Austin Ekeler, David Montgomery, and Allen Robinson were all working off the same playbook this week, each dropping only 2 points for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Robinson's performance broke his four game streak of surpassing his projections.

The Brainers came into this match-up riding high on a five game winning streak. Make it six. They earned a nice victory over Black Micahs, winning 67 to 59. The win must seem like deja vu for The Brainers, who won the last game with Black Micahs by the score of 89 to 50.

Black Micahs ends their 2019 campaign with a 10 - 6 mark. The win brings The Brainers to 12 - 3.

The Brainers relied heavily on Tyler Boyd, who posted 18 points.1 That was the most that any wide receiver collected this week.

In addition to Boyd, The Brainers had two other good players this week in Lamar Jackson and Miles Sanders. Jackson's dominance of the NFL continued in Cleveland this weekend, as he went for three touchdown passes (to bring his total to 36) while picking up 103 (!) yards on the ground.

The Brainers managed to win despite suffering a key injury. D.J. Moore managed to catch one ball for a lone yard before being knocked out of Sunday’s contest in Indianapolis with a concussion.

Meanwhile, two players stood out for their poor performance on Black Micahs, with running backs Mike Boone and Chris Carson combining to score only 4 points. Carson hopefully has some credit left over from last week's 18 point performance. His performances have closely tracked the fortunes of Black Micahs this season, as they have gone 3 - 4 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 7 - 0 when he meets them.

Black Micahs wound up with their high point total courtesy of three overperformers. Patrick Mahomes scored 21 points to pace the group.

DenBro made sure that they didn't become the 7th straight team to lose to The Brainers. DenBro stomped all over The Brainers 86 to 58. Blowouts are nothing new to Coach Don Zimmerman, since DenBro has been involved in the most blowout games of anybody in league so far.

The win brings DenBro to 11 - 5, and sends them to the top of our internal power rankings. The loss drops The Brainers' record to 12 - 4.

DenBro got a nice group performance in the win, as six players beat their positional averages. The Saints Defense/ST was the first among equals, delivering 17 points.1 The Saints' performance this week stopped their three game streak of not meeting their projections.

DenBro also got a better-than-expected performance from Justin Tucker, who beat his projections by 11.7 points. A good performance by Tucker has been crucial for DenBro all year, as they have gone 7 - 2 when he exceeds expectations, and 2 - 3 when he doesn't.

The game would have been an even bigger blowout if DenBro had Dak Prescott and his 25 points in the starting lineup. Prescott did better than any player actually in DenBro's starting lineup this week.

Meanwhile, Coach Chuck Rittenhouse will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. The Brainers had five underperformers, with Miles Sanders (2 points) being the worst.2 Despite the loss, The Brainers had three standouts, with Ezekiel Elliott, Jared Cook, and the Chiefs Defense/ST posting 38 points. Elliott busted through the Redskins’ defense and then refused to go down before finding the end zone on this 33-yard rushing touchdown.