2016

We projected Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to be near the top of the pack this season when it comes to running backs, and they made us look good this week. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum ran their way to a 83 to 71 win over Homesick Abortions. DeAngelo Williams scored 20 points, while David Johnson scored 12. Almost every player on the Patriots defense put a hand on Johnson during this run, but none of them brought him down until he was 45 yards downfield.

Matthew Stafford helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 10.6 points. Stafford was brilliant all day, but never more so than on this sub-one minute drive to set up the game winning kick.

Meanwhile, Coach Chris Crowder can look to running backs Derrick Henry and Eddie Lacy when passing out blame for the loss. The two combined to score only 5 points. Coach Crowder certainly can't blame the loss on Antonio Brown, who scored 18 points.

It will be a tournament-style upcoming schedule for these teams next week. The winner, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, will take on Alcoholnics, who beat Zombie Werewolves this week. Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will take on a fellow loser in SkinFan, who lost to DenBro this week.

The Brainers and Showtime had the worst projections in the East Side division coming out of the draft, and while neither looked sharp, The Brainers' made a good first step towards avoiding last place. They wound up with a solid victory margin against Showtime, winning 56 to 46. No big surprise seeing The Brainers get the win, as they were the biggest favorite of any team this week.

The Brainers were led by the tag team of A.J. Green and Dan Bailey, who together notched 33 points. Green built himself a beach house on Revis Island, catching all 10 balls thrown his way while being guarded by the All-Pro.

Given their low point total, it's not surprising that The Brainers had several underperformers (five to be exact). Russell Wilson was the worst of them, scoring 6 points.1 Wilson did the worst of any player drafted in the first round.

Meanwhile, Adrian Peterson and the Colts Defense/ST were both working off the same playbook this week, posting only 1 point for Showtime. Peterson's 1 point was fewer than every other running back this week. His performance wasn't exactly what Coach Ronnie Rmartz was looking for when they drafted him in the first round.

Showtime also had to deal with a poor effort from Gary Barnidge (5.4 points below expected). The only real legit performance that Showtime got came courtesy of Larry Fitzgerald, who scored 16 points. Fitzgerald made sure his 100th career TD reception was one of his best.

Coach Rmartz could have won this game with the right lineup. They left the Jets Defense/ST and Cairo Santos on the bench in favor of the Colts Defense/ST and Roberto Aguayo, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions cost Showtime a total of 10 points. If Coach Rmartz had left the Colts and Aguayo on the bench and also started Ryan Mathews, Showtime would have won the game.

The schedule for The Brainers brings Zombie Werewolves around next week. As for Showtime, they will square off against Pinko Commie Bastards.

In the only close game this week, Big Tex's Pillow Biters just barely got past Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 55 to 53. Big time luck for Big Tex's Pillow Biters in this contest, as they would have lost against all but one other team.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. Eli Manning paced the team by beating the average quarterback by 3.6 points, while Sammy Watkins (4.8 points worse than the average wide receiver) was the worst on the team.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards were having trouble reaching paydirt, getting into the end zone only one time. That was the lowest TDs total of any team this week. Coach Erran Yearty can blame the poor result in that category on Odell Beckham, T.Y. Hilton, and Mark Ingram, who together scored no TDs.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will be going against DenBro next week. DenBro will bring the league's top player this week, Andrew Luck, into the game.

As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will match up with Showtime next week. Showtime not only lost this week, but scored fewer points than any other team.

Winning the draft paid immediate dividends for Alcoholnics. They demolished Zombie Werewolves, winning 95 to 58. Alcoholnics not only got the win, but exceeded their expectations by more than any other team this week. That earned Coach Nick Claeboe this week's Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award.

Alcoholnics had all (well, most) hands on deck in this win, with seven players beating their positional averages. The Vikings Defense/ST was the best of the bunch, delivering 20 points. No other Defense/ST scored more points than that this week.

Alcoholnics also got a big effort from Carlos Hyde (12.4 points above expected). Hyde used one quick hesitation step before turning on the afterburners and blowing through the heart of the Rams defense for this 11 yard score.

Over in the loser's circle, Zombie Werewolves got a big game from C.J. Anderson. Anderson scored 18 points, which were the 2nd most of any running back this week. Unfortunately for Zombie Werewolves, he was the only player on the whole team that had a legit good performance.

Coach Patrick jolle will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. Zombie Werewolves had four underperformers, with the Chiefs Defense/ST (1 point) being the worst.1

Next week, Alcoholnics will take on the 1 - 0 Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will take on The Brainers.

DenBro didn't have too much trouble with SkinFan this week, winning 81 to 61.

It's not that hard to win when you have the league's top performer for the week, and Andrew Luck was that player. Luck joined up with Brandin Cooks to score 62% of DenBro's points. Just in case Luck's injury-plagued 2015 made anybody forget- Luck can still throw one of the best deep balls in the NFL.

DenBro overcame poor performances from Brandon McManus and Randall Cobb (5 points combined) in getting this win.

Meanwhile, Michael Floyd, Jordan Reed, and Jonathan Stewart were quite coordinated in their failures for SkinFan. They each dropped only 3 points.

The loss this week certainly wasn't Coach Tim Fabrizio's fault. They started Cam Newton and Stephen Gostkowski instead of Kirk Cousins and Chandler Catanzaro, despite expert advice to do the exact opposite.

These decisions netted Coach Fabrizio an extra 23 points. It also made Coach Fabrizio the best performing gameday coach this week.

Next week will see DenBro taking on the 1 - 0 Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Meanwhile, SkinFan will be playing Homesick Abortions.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters took on DenBro two times last year and won each time. The result this week then, was not surprising. Big Tex's Pillow Biters got the job done against DenBro, winning 73 to 65. By exceeding their projections by a league-high 11 points, Big Tex's Pillow Biters showed gumption worthy of this week's Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award.

The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 2 - 0, while dropping DenBro to 1 - 1.

Matt Forte says that he's been given the nickname 'workhorse', which while unimaginative, was definitely appropriate given his performance this week. Forte was the key contributor for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, dropping 23 points. That performance topped all players this week.1

Big Tex's Pillow Biters also got a better-than-expected performance from Graham Gano, who beat his projections by 9.7 points. Gano's 18 point performance was the most that any kicker collected this week. Although Coach William Hayes got the win, he cannot have been happy with Eli Manning's performance this week. Manning failed to show up, scoring 5 points.

Meanwhile, Andrew Luck stuck out as the worst performer for DenBro, notching only 5 points.2 That was quite a falloff from last week, when he scored 30 points. He was under seige by the Denver defense all day, but can't really blame pressure for this tossing this pick-six.

Coach Don Zimmerman has to look in the mirror for part of the blame for this week's loss. They went with Randall Cobb over the higher ranked Michael Crabtree.

This decision shaved 5 points from DenBro's score, which--thankfully for Coach Zimmerman--didn't matter much this game. It did make it back-to-back weeks now where Coach Zimmerman has cost their team points.

Next week will see DenBro taking on the 1 - 1 Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Don't look for many shrewd coaching decisions, as the game will feature the worst gameday coaches in the league so far. Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with SkinFan.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse has to be kicking himself for his lineup decisions this week. He started Russell Wilson instead of Andy Dalton, despite the experts' prediction that Dalton should have played.

This decision took a 7 point chunk out of The Brainers' final score and cost them the game, as they just didn't have enough against Zombie Werewolves (1 - 1), losing 55 to 50.

Zombie Werewolves, who were the underdog in this matchup, put forth a sub-par effort Sunday. They had six slightly underperforming players, with Todd Gurley (2 points) being the worst.

While Zombie Werewolves weren't doing well, The Brainers were doing terrible. Russell Wilson kept the scoreboard operator relaxed, coming up with only 5 points.

The Brainers also had to deal with a poor effort from A.J. Green (6.4 points below expected). Green hopefully has some credit left over from last week's 16 point performance.

Going into Monday night, The Brainers were in a tough spot. Coach Rittenhouse needed the Eagles Defense/ST to come up with 16 points. The Eagles gave a decent effort, but their 11 points weren't enough.

The Brainers will face off against Alcoholnics next week. Alcoholnics have been the highest scoring team so far this year. Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will take on Pinko Commie Bastards.

It wasn't too close for comfort, but it was still pretty close, as Alcoholnics beat Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum 59 to 56. The win brings Alcoholnics' record to 2 - 0, while dropping Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 1 - 1.

Alcoholnics, who were a 6 point underdog coming into the game, did a decent job during Sunday's main action. DeAndre Hopkins led the charge, scoring 11 points.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum were also doing ok. DeAngelo Williams and Nick Novak drove the bus, scoring 25 points between them.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum came into Sunday night's game a bit behind in our projections. Coach Robert Wetzel needed the Packers Defense/ST to come up with 11 points. The Packers gave a decent effort, but their 8 points weren't enough.

Coach Wetzel tried to second guess the experts this week when setting their lineup, and the result was very costly. They went with Matthew Stafford over the higher ranked Carson Palmer.

This decision cost Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum a total of 13 points, which cost them the game. Coach Wetzel has now cost their team points in both of the last two weeks.

Next week, Alcoholnics will be playing The Brainers. As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will match up with DenBro.

Scoring the fewest points in the league for the week is bad strategy. Just ask Coach Ronnie Rmartz. Showtime got clobbered by Pinko Commie Bastards, losing 65 to 35. With those 35 points, Showtime were last in the league for the 2nd straight week.

The win brings Pinko Commie Bastards back to even at 1 - 1. The loss drops Showtime's record to 0 - 2.

Pinko Commie Bastards were led by the trio of Philip Rivers, Delanie Walker, and the Texans Defense/ST, who combined for 71% of their team's points.

Meanwhile, this week's loss for Showtime was a true group effort. Roberto Aguayo was the worst of a six man group of underperformers, posting only 1 point.1 No other kicker scored fewer points than that this week.

Doug Martin falling 4 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Martin left the blowout against the Cardinals due to a hamstring injury, and is scheduled to have an MRI on Tuesday.

Another key injury will make this loss for Showtime sting even more. Adrian Peterson was bottled up by the Packers defense before suffering a torn meniscus. Somehow, that might not even keep him out of next Sunday's game.

Both teams will be looking for their first win next week when Showtime and Homesick Abortions face off. Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will be playing Zombie Werewolves.

SkinFan were able to grind out a solid victory this week against Homesick Abortions, winning by a score of 73 to 65. The win evens up SkinFan's record at 1 - 1. The loss drops Homesick Abortions' record to 0 - 2.

Coach Tim Fabrizio went on a limb by drafting Cam Newton with the 2nd pick, and has to be feeling pretty vindicated after this week's action. Newton joined up with the Cardinals Defense/ST to score 64% of SkinFan's points. Newton alone scored 25 points, which were the most of any quarterback this week. The big hits Cam took last week didn't leave any marks on his psyche, as he stood in to take a huge hit while making this TD pass against the Niners.

SkinFan won despite bad games from Jonathan Stewart and T.J. Yeldon, who together produced 1 point. Stewart suffered a hamstring pull that knocked him out of the 49ers game and will cost him the next one to two weeks.

Meanwhile, Antonio Brown and Danny Woodhead both failed to come up with more than 1 point for Homesick Abortions this week. Brown's momentum from last week's 18 point performance apparently didn't carry over.

Coach Fabrizio can pat themself on the back for this week's victory. They started two players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. One of those picks, the Cardinals Defense/ST, worked out. The other pick, Stephen Gostkowski, did not.

Overall, these decisions netted SkinFan a total of 9 points, which ended up winning them the game. This makes it back-to-back weeks where Coach Fabrizio has outsmarted the experts.

Someone will get their first win as the 0 - 2 Homesick Abortions takes on the 0 - 2 Showtime. Showtime will come into next week having failed to break the 50 point mark yet. As for SkinFan, they will square off against Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

After yet another victory, we here at Fantasy Journalist now officially apologize to Coach William Hayes for our disapproving draft report. Big Tex's Pillow Biters strolled past SkinFan, winning 57 to 40.

The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 3 - 0, a far cry from where we expected after we pegged them as the worst team coming out of the draft. The loss drops SkinFan's record to 1 - 2.

Coach Hayes used his first pick on Devonta Freeman, while Coach Tim Fabrizio used their first pick on Cam Newton. Unfortunately for SkinFan, that pretty much told the story of this game. For Devonta Freeman's part, he delivered 15 points for Big Tex's Pillow Biters. As good as Freeman was against the Saints, he would have been even better if Tevin Coleman hadn't gobbled up all three short-yardage rushing TDs.

On the other hand, Cam Newton was not living up to his star status, dropping only 6 points. Newton must have gotten tired from racking up 25 points last week.

The rest of Coach Hayes' lineup followed Freeman's lead, scoring 42 more points. That group was led by Doug Baldwin, who scored 14 points. Baldwin didn't just make a one-handed catch, but managed to do it while diving and keeping the ball off the ground.

Coach Fabrizio's gameday decisions have been the best in the league so far this season, and their brilliance was on display again this week. They started three players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. Two of those picks, Mike Evans and Stephen Gostkowski, worked out. The other pick, Michael Floyd, did not.

Overall, these moves gave SkinFan an extra 4 points , and makes it three weeks in a row that Coach Fabrizio has taught the experts a lesson in lineup management.

Coach Fabrizio will put their managerial prowess to work against Zombie Werewolves next week. Coach Patrick jolle's team just had a huge week, having posted 95 points. As for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, they will match up with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Showtime came into the game as the biggest underdog this week, but they didn't let that get them down. They made it look easy against Homesick Abortions, winning 52 to 32. The two teams combined for the lowest score so far this season.

The loss makes it three in a row for Homesick Abortions, which gives them a 0 - 3 record. The win brings Showtime to 1 - 2.

Showtime were led by the two man wrecking crew of Jordy Nelson and Dak Prescott, who combined for 63% of Showtime's points. Nelson has now exceeded the average wide receiver's performance in every game so far this year.

Meanwhile, Coach Chris Crowder will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. Homesick Abortions were brought down by seven underperformers, the worst of whom was Julio Jones (zero points). Homesick Abortions were also hurt by the 3rd straight game that Eddie Lacy has failed to exceed his expected points. Homesick Abortions only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Antonio Brown scoring 7 points.1

The schedule for Showtime brings Alcoholnics around next week, who have been the highest scoring team so far this year. Alcoholnics will also come into the game undefeated. Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will be playing DenBro.

In a week that featured three blowouts, this was the biggest. Alcoholnics perfectly destroyed The Brainers, winning 74 to 27. With the win and those 74 points, Alcoholnics now sits at the top of every component in the CBS power rankings.

The victory makes it three in a row for Alcoholnics, bringing their record to 3 - 0. The loss drops The Brainers to 1 - 2, and sinks them to the bottom of the power rankings.

Alcoholnics had almost all of their firepower going off before the end of the Sunday early games, and they got Coach Nick Claeboe's squad off to a solid start. The Vikings Defense/ST drove the bus, scoring 25 points. The Vikings have now exceeded their points expectations in every game so far this year.

Meanwhile, The Brainers decided the whole 'scoring points' thing was passe. Kelvin Benjamin really stunk it up, scoring exactly zero points.

Going into the Sunday late games, The Brainers were already a long shot to win. After the Steelers Defense/ST dropped zero points, the game was over.

Coach Claeboe did his part to secure the victory this week. He started the Vikings Defense/ST instead of the Ravens Defense/ST, despite the experts' prediction that the Ravens should have played.

This great decision boosted Alcoholnics' final score by 13 points, which only added to Alcoholnics' domination. It also earned Coach Claeboe 'Coach of the Week' honors, as he gave his squad more extra points than anyone else in the league.

Next week, Alcoholnics will take on Showtime, who have scored the fewest points so far this year. One of those teams will face a big comedown from this week, as they both won easily.

Meanwhile, The Brainers will take on Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 65+ point games.

Zombie Werewolves (2 - 1) sent Pinko Commie Bastards (1 - 2) crying home to mommy after a thorough 95 to 73 spanking. The two teams combined for the highest score so far this season.

Coach Erran Yearty can at least take solace in the fact that he helped combine for the highest total score this season. Besides the win, Zombie Werewolves picked up the Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award by exceeding their projections by more than any other team this week.

Zombie Werewolves stumbled a bit coming out of the gate, putting in a sub-par effort early on Sunday. Julian Edelman was the worst of a three man group of underperformers, scoring only 1 point. Edelman has now failed to hit his expected points in any game so far this year.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards were showing Coach Patrick jolle how it's supposed to be done. They were powered by Marvin Jones, who scored 23 points. Jones' defender let up for a split second, and Jones punished him with a stiff-arm that keyed off a 73 yard touchdown.

Pinko Commie Bastards also got a big effort from LeSean McCoy (12 points above expected).

Going into late Sunday, our projections gave Zombie Werewolves only a 8.4% chance of winning. Coach Jolle's squad blew those projections out of the water. Four players for Zombie Werewolves beat their projections, with the Chiefs Defense/ST scoring 24.6 points more than expected. It was enough to give Zombie Werewolves an unlikely victory.

In addition to the loss, Coach Yearty didn't exactly bolster his 'Coach of the Year' campaign. He left the Patriots Defense/ST and their 8.7 expected points on the bench, favoring the Texans Defense/ST (5.9 points expected).

This terrible decision shaved 15 points from Pinko Commie Bastards' score, which ultimately didn't make a difference in the final outcome. After his decisions this week, Coach Yearty has now cost his team points for the season (12 points worse than the experts).

Next week, Zombie Werewolves will take on the 1 - 2 SkinFan. Zombie Werewolves will face off against Mike Evans in that game, part of a three game stretch against tough wide receivers which will see them take on Larry Fitzgerald and Marvin Jones in the following weeks. Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will collide with The Brainers next week. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 27 points this week.

Coach Don Zimmerman looked like they were trying to give away this game with their lineup decisions, but the team just wouldn't quit. DenBro ended up on top against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 51 to 45. The win brings DenBro's record to 2 - 1, while dropping Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 1 - 2.

DenBro won with a balanced effort, as four players outperformed their positional averages. Travis Kelce was the first among equals, notching 10 points. Kelce mixed in a dive, a score, and a dance on this play. DenBro also got the benefit of the 3rd straight game that Melvin Gordon exceeded his expectations.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had many underperformers, but Carson Palmer stood out, scoring -3 points. Palmer fell farther short of his expected points than any other player this week. His performance was also the worst of any player this season.

The Bengals Defense/ST have to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 5.5 fewer points than they were expected to. The Bengals have now failed to exceed the average Defense/ST's point total in any week this year. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum did get a couple of good, but ultimately futile, efforts from David Johnson and Allen Robinson, who came up with a total of 31 points.

Coach Zimmerman's gameday decisions have been the worst in the league this season, and this week showed why. They left Steven Hauschka and Michael Crabtree on the bench in favor of Brandon McManus and Randall Cobb, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions took a 12 point chunk out of DenBro's final score, and marks the 3rd straight week where Coach Zimmerman has cost their team points.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. DenBro will be going against Homesick Abortions. Homesick Abortions will come into the game looking for their first win.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on Big Tex's Pillow Biters, who will come into the game undefeated. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum have now been the favorite in both their last two games, and failed to perform both times. The experts might not give them the benefit of the doubt in their next one.

After losing three straight games, Coach Chris Crowder's squad finally had enough. Homesick Abortions (1 - 3) crushed DenBro (2 - 2), winning 114 to 93. The two teams combined for the highest score so far this season.

Coach Don Zimmerman can at least take solace in the fact that they helped combine for the highest total score this season. Homesick Abortions not only got the win, but exceeded their expectations by more than any other team this week. That earned Coach Crowder this week's Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award.

You know things are going to go well when your wide receiver has 170 yards and it's only halftime. Homesick Abortions' Julio Jones didn't take his foot off the gas though, as he slashed his way through the hapless Carolina secondary for 22 points and 300 yards. That yardage total gave him the 6th most in any single game in NFL history.

Homesick Abortions also got a big effort from Greg Olsen (5.6 points above expected). Olsen made a double move to break free on this route, which turned into a triple move when he had to quickly spin and make a one-handed catch.

Meanwhile, Brandin Cooks loomed large in the loss for DenBro, delivering 1 point. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Cooks, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games.

In almost any other game, DenBro's seven overperforming players (led by Michael Crabtree, 22 points) would have brought home a win. This was Crabtree's first venture off the bench, which bodes well for his future playing time.

Coach Crowder did his part in the victory, setting a perfect lineup. That took more than just following the experts' advice. He went with Julio Jones over the higher ranked Will Fuller.

This great decision gave Homesick Abortions a nice 12 point bonus, which just made the final result that much more embarrassing. This is the first time this year that Coach Crowder's decisions have earned his team points.

Coach Crowder will bring that tactical skill to bear against Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. That team is not coming in very hot, after finishing this week with only 32 points. As for DenBro, they will square off against The Brainers.

November 21, 2016. Coach Ronnie Rmartz better mark down that date, as it will be the first chance they have to get revenge for what happened to them this week. Showtime suffered a huge loss to Alcoholnics, going down 59 to 33. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days. Showtime has been involved in three straight blowout games, while this is the 2nd straight blowout game for Alcoholnics.

Alcoholnics have now won four games in a row, which brings their record to 4 - 0. The loss drops Showtime's record to 1 - 3.

Alcoholnics got more than half their points from just two players: Matt Ryan and Carlos Hyde. After Ryan's performance this week, he moved up to being the best player in the league. He now leads the league in passing by over 200 yards after setting the franchise record with 503 passing yards against the Panthers.

Coach Rmartz saw some familiar names among their bad players this week. The Colts Defense/ST, Cameron Artis-Payne, and Duke Johnson continued to disappoint, combining for 4 points. Artis-Payne might be heading back to the waiver wire after getting picked up before this game.

Showtime also had to deal with a poor effort from Trevor Siemian (5.1 points below expected). Siemian was knocked out of the game after getting rocked on this play, but his coach expects him to play next week. Showtime did get some solace this week in the form of Demaryius Thomas, who came up with 10 points.

On top of the loss, Showtime had some bad timing on the general manager front. Coach Rmartz placed Blake Bortles on the waiver pile this week, only to see him score 21 points.

Showtime will face off against Zombie Werewolves next week. As for Alcoholnics, they will match up with Pinko Commie Bastards.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had to be wary coming into this game after losing both matches against Big Tex's Pillow Biters last season. Thankfully for Coach Robert Wetzel, the past was not prelude. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum gave Big Tex's Pillow Biters a 54 to 32 point drubbing. With the win, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum put an end to Big Tex's Pillow Biters' three-game win streak.

The win gets Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back to .500 with a 2 - 2 record. The loss is the first of the season for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, dropping their record to 3 - 1.

The bottom part of Coach Wetzel's draft came through for them this week. The Bengals Defense/ST scored 13 points, and Adam Vinatieri was close behind with 12.

The game would have been an even bigger blowout if Coach Wetzel had put DeMarco Murray (17 points) in the lineup. Murray did better than any player actually in Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's starting lineup this week.

Meanwhile, Eli Manning was the main culprit in Big Tex's Pillow Biters' loss, managing only 3 points.1 That was the 3rd fewest of any quarterback this season. He was joined by six other underperformers, including Matt Forte, who scored only 1 point.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Jimmy Graham scoring 5 points.2

Next week will see Big Tex's Pillow Biters taking on the 1 - 3 Homesick Abortions. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will have long odds to win if Homesick Abortions scores another 114 points, like they did this week. Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on SkinFan.

It's looking like we were far too generous when evaluating Pinko Commie Bastards' prospects this season. They ended up pretty far behind in this one, losing 67 to 49 to The Brainers.

The loss drops Pinko Commie Bastards to 1 - 3, well short of where we expected the team with the 2nd best draft to be at this point of the season. The win brings The Brainers back to even at 2 - 2.

A.J. Green and Isaiah Crowell were the key contributors, dropping 14 and 13 points, respectively. Green continued to show this week that giving him the chance to grab a jump ball is one of the easiest ways to get yardage in the NFL. The Brainers only had one underperfoming player, with Dan Bailey scoring 6 points.1

Meanwhile, it will be difficult for Coach Erran Yearty to fault any one player for the loss. Pinko Commie Bastards had five underperformers, with the Patriots Defense/ST (4 points) being the worst.2 The Patriots were just as bad on offense, as they wound up getting shutout at home for the first time since 1993.

Pinko Commie Bastards also had to deal with a bad performance from Odell Beckham, who scored only 1 point. This taunting penalty that Beckham picked up almost completely negated the paltry 23 yards that had receiving.

Coach Yearty's gameday decisions have been some of the worst in the league this season, and this week he showed why. Perhaps scared off by the Texans Defense/ST's 1 point performance last week, Coach Yearty left them on the bench in favor of the Patriots Defense/ST, despite the experts' prediction that the Texans should have played.

This decision cost Pinko Commie Bastards a total of 6 points, which--thankfully for Coach Yearty--didn't matter much this game. It did make it back-to-back weeks now where He has cost his team points.

Next week, Pinko Commie Bastards will go against the undefeated Alcoholnics. Alcoholnics will also enter the game with Matt Ryan, who has been the best player in the league so far. Meanwhile, The Brainers will be playing DenBro next week.

The experts must be feeling pretty smart this week. They predicted that Zombie Werewolves would score the fewest points this week, and that's exactly what they did. They could not make it much of a game, losing to SkinFan 47 to 31. The 31 points that Zombie Werewolves scored were the fewest they scored this year.

The game evens up both teams' records at 2 - 2.

SkinFan underperformed a bit during Sunday's main action. Stephen Gostkowski didn't exactly light it up, coming up with exactly zero points. That was fewer than every other kicker this week.

While SkinFan were playing poorly, Zombie Werewolves were just dreadful. Tavon Austin and Julian Edelman both did poorly, together coming up with zero points. Edelman might have done better had he taken the hint from ace reporter "Walt Patulski" and played quarterback instead of receiver.

A win was looking really unlikely for Zombie Werewolves going into Sunday night's game. The door slammed shut for good after the Chiefs Defense/ST scored only 2 points.

Coach Patrick jolle seems to have forgotten to set their lineup this week. They left Julius Thomas in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. They also left the Chiefs in the lineup (the Buccaneers Defense/ST would have been 2 points better). Having cost their team 25 points total, they are the worst game-day coach in the league so far this season.

Next week will see Zombie Werewolves taking on the 1 - 3 Showtime. Meanwhile, SkinFan will collide with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum came into the game as the biggest favorite this week and proceeded to make the experts look good. They thoroughly dominated SkinFan, winning 91 to 47. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also won the Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award this week by exceeding their expectations by more points than any other team.

With the win, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum moved to 3 - 2, good for the top spot in the West Side division. The loss drops SkinFan to the last spot in the West Side division at 2 - 3.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had two main stars in Adam Vinatieri and David Johnson, who together delivered 43 points. Johnson's 20 point performance this week moves him up to being the 4th best player in the league this season. He put on an absolute clinic on how to pick up big chunks of yardage while running in traffic.

Vinatieri and Johnson got help from three other players, including 11 points from Brandon Marshall. Alshon Jeffery was the only underperforming player, scoring only 3 points.

Coach Tim Fabrizio put Jarvis Landry into the SkinFan lineup for the first time this week, but Landry might want to keep his bench warming pants clean. Landry was the worst of five underperformers, dropping 1 point.1 This is the 1st time this year that he was the worst starter on his team.

Next week, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will be playing DenBro. DenBro have been racking up the points recently, posting two straight 70+ point games. The matchup will feature the two top RB's in the league, as David Johnson meets up with Ezekiel Elliott.

SkinFan's next game will be against Homesick Abortions in a rematch from week two. SkinFan won the previous matchup 73 to 65. Coach Fabrizio will no doubt be hoping that the Cardinals Defense/ST can drop 22 points like they did when they last went against Homesick Abortions.

Coming into the game, Showtime had scored the fewest points of any team over the last three weeks. Coach Ronnie Rmartz's squad put up a decent number of points this week though, and that was enough. Showtime got past Zombie Werewolves without much trouble, winning 56 to 40. The 56 points that Showtime scored were the most they scored this year, just one week after setting their season low.

The win brings Showtime's record to 2 - 3, while dropping Zombie Werewolves to an identical 2 - 3.

Showtime, who were the underdog in this matchup, put forth a sub-par effort Sunday. They had four underperformers, with the Colts Defense/ST (2 points) bringing up the rear. That continues a theme for The Colts, who have now yet to top the average Defense/ST's point total in any week so far.

While Showtime were barely noticable on the field, Zombie Werewolves were performing their own disappearing act. They had six laggards, with Julian Edelman's 1 point being the worst performance. Coach Patrick jolle is still waiting to get one above-average week from Edelman.

Zombie Werewolves also had to deal with a poor effort from Kyle Rudolph (5.6 points below expected). Rudolph's performance this week ended a three game streak of beating the league average.

Going into Monday night's game, Showtime was a heavy favorite. After Cameron Artis-Payne dropped 16 points, Showtime had themselves a 'W'.

Next week, Showtime will take on the 2 - 3 Brainers. That contest will be a rematch from week one, when Showtime lost 56 to 46. Zombie Werewolves' loss is a bad start to an easy stretch on the schedule. The next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Pinko Commie Bastards next week.

You're not going to win many games scoring the fewest points of any team for the week, and Big Tex's Pillow Biters found that out the hard way. They couldn't stay with Homesick Abortions, losing 45 to 31. The two teams combined to score the fewest points so far this season.

The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 3 - 2, while the win brings Homesick Abortions to 2 - 3.

Homesick Abortions had a two man team in Derek Carr and Greg Olsen, who together came up with 58% of Homesick Abortions' points. Carr's performance late on Sunday took him from the 5th best quarterback to the 3rd best quarterback in the league. He continues to throw insanely beautiful touchdown passes, like this one to Michael Crabtree.

There were five underperformers keeping Homesick Abortions from a proper victory, with the Rams Defense/ST (2 points) being the worst of them.1 The Rams' performance this week ended a three game streak of beating the experts' projections.

Meanwhile, the loss for Big Tex's Pillow Biters came down to a pretty simple factor: they didn't go anywhere. Collectively, they only managed to pick up 242 yards. No other team gained fewer total yards this week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters saw five different players underperform in that category, and while none of them particularly stuck out, LeGarrette Blount and his 37 total yards was officially the worst.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Big Tex's Pillow Biters' loss is especially bad as it represented the last easy game they will have for a while. The next two games are against winning teams, starting with Alcoholnics next week. Alcoholnics will get to start the league's hottest player in Ben Roethlisberger.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will take on SkinFan next week. That team will limp into next week's game having posted less than 50 points each of the last two weeks. Making things even easier, SkinFan will be without Mike Evans, who has a bye.

Coach Don Zimmerman has had the most stable lineup in the league, and this week that stability paid off. They followed the experts' advice for each position and ended up with a perfect lineup, as DenBro (3 - 2) skated by The Brainers (2 - 3) pretty easily, winning 73 to 56.

DenBro, who were favored to win the game, put together a good Sunday. Ezekiel Elliott's 20 points were the key contribution. Elliott isn't necessarily supposed to have great top-end speed, but that didn't seem to hold him back much on this play.

Meanwhile, The Brainers were having a so-so performance. Lamar Miller was the worst of a five man group of underperformers, scoring only 1 point. Miller has obviously had a rough first third of the season, but CBS Sports' Heath Cummings thinks he's still a RB1 going forward.

Things were not looking good at all for The Brainers heading into Monday night. Coach Chuck Rittenhouse needed Kelvin Benjamin to come up with 20 points. Unfortunately, Benjamin had a disappointing game, scoring 3 points, which wasn't nearly enough.

DenBro will be going against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. DenBro might need another big game to win that matchup, as Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum comes into the game fresh off a 91 point performance. As for The Brainers, they will square off against Showtime.

David Johnson was expected to be the top performing RB this week, and that's exactly what he was. Johnson was the key component as Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum wound up with a solid victory margin against DenBro, winning 64 to 54. He is on quite a hot streak, performing better than any other starter over the last three weeks. He ran for the longest TD (58 yards) of his career, and it was a thing of true beauty.

Coach Robert Wetzel also helped out their own cause by going against the experts and starting Adam Vinatieri, who scored 12 points.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of chefs cooking up this week's loss for DenBro. Michael Crabtree was the worst of a five man group of underperformers, dropping zero points. No other wide receiver scored fewer points than that this week.

As far as good performances for DenBro, Brandin Cooks stuck out with 15 points. Cooks now has the 1st and 2nd longest TD receptions of the season after scoring on this 87 yarder.

The win makes it three in a row for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, giving them a record of 4 - 2. The loss drops DenBro's record to 3 - 3.

The West Side division lead will be at stake when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum takes on Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. Meanwhile, DenBro will be playing Homesick Abortions. Coach Zimmerman is getting Homesick Abortions at the right time, as they will limp into next week's game having posted less than 45 points each of the last two weeks.

The Brainers didn't give Showtime a chance this week, blowing past them 63 to 41. The win must seem like deja vu for The Brainers, who won the last game with Showtime by a 56 to 46 margin.

The win brings The Brainers back to even at 3 - 3. The loss drops Showtime's record to 2 - 4.

Lamar Miller was probably in Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's doghouse after last week's 1 point 'performance'. He might be let out now. Miller teamed up with Terrance West to notch 37 points.

Dan Bailey helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 6.7 points. Bailey's performance this week ended a three game streak of failing to hit his projections.

The Brainers did well despite having to deal with Russell Wilson and the Steelers Defense/ST, who combined to post 5 points. Coach Rittenhouse has to be used to bad scores from Wilson, who has been the worst performer on The Brainers more times than any other player.

Meanwhile, Showtime really lost this game as a team. They had six underperformers, with Blake Bortles (7 points) being the worst.1 Bortles' 7 points made him the worst starter on his team for the 1st time this season. Showtime only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Dustin Hopkins scoring 11 points.

Coach Rittenhouse was no passive bystander in the victory. He started two players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. One of those picks, Terrance West, worked out. The other pick, Emmanuel Sanders, did not.

Overall, these moves gave The Brainers an extra 14 points, which only added to The Brainers' domination. Coach Rittenhouse ought to take a lesson from the fact that taking risks worked out this week. His team has a much better record when he bucks the experts' advice for at least one player

Next week will see The Brainers taking on the 2 - 4 Zombie Werewolves. Good timing, as Zombie Werewolves will come into the matchup on a three game losing streak.

Meanwhile, Showtime will collide with Pinko Commie Bastards. Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 65+ point games.

Zombie Werewolves blew out Pinko Commie Bastards in week three. This week, Coach Erran Yearty got his revenge. Pinko Commie Bastards pounded Zombie Werewolves into submission, winning 102 to 36. By exceeding their projections by a league-high 38 points, Pinko Commie Bastards showed gumption worthy of this week's Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award.

The win evens up Pinko Commie Bastards' record at 3 - 3. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves to 2 - 4, and sinks them to the bottom of the power rankings.

Pinko Commie Bastards came in with the 3rd best performing wide receivers. Zombie Werewolves came in with the worst. The results were unsurprising. Pinko Commie Bastards saw Odell Beckham carry that group with a 23 point effort. Not only did Beckham repair his relationship with the kicking net, he went so far as to propose to the net after this game-winning TD (she said yes!).

Zombie Werewolves had two different players in the wide receiver group come up short, none of whom were worse than Julian Edelman, who scored only 1 point. Edelman has now failed to hit his expected points in any game so far this year.

The other players on Pinko Commie Bastards kept up with the wide receivers, coming up with 77 points. Of that crew, LeSean McCoy led the way with 25 points. That makes it four straight games of overperforming expectations for McCoy.

The schedule for Pinko Commie Bastards brings Showtime around next week. That will be a rematch from week two, when Pinko Commie Bastards won in a blowout.

As for Zombie Werewolves, they will match up with The Brainers. The Brainers won this week, but that might be a good thing for Zombie Werewolves, since The Brainers has yet to win back-to-back games.

Coach Nick Claeboe picked a bad week to make a bad lineup. He started Chris Boswell instead of Mason Crosby, despite the experts' prediction that Crosby should have played.

This decision shaved 10 points from Alcoholnics' score and cost them the game, as they got beat by Big Tex's Pillow Biters (4 - 2), 51 to 42.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters were led by the trio of Terrelle Pryor, LeGarrette Blount, and Tyrod Taylor, who combined for 75% of their team's points. Taylor has now overperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games.

Alcoholnics had plenty of duds in the loss. They were brought down by six underperformers, the worst of whom was Chris Boswell (1 point). That was fewer than every other kicker this week.

Fellow Steeler Ben Roethlisberger added to Alcoholnics' troubles, scoring 6 points. Roethlisberger tore his meniscus and will go under the knife on Monday. Even so, he might only miss one game.

Coach Claeboe certainly can't blame the loss on Rob Gronkowski, who scored 14 points. Gronk notched a career-high with 162 receiving yards this week (he has 271 in the two games since Brady returned).

Coach Claeboe is probably happy with how his team has played so far this season, but he has to be concerned about his team's recent performance. Alcoholnics have now lost their last two games. Coach Claeboe will have to hope things turn around in next week's matchup with SkinFan.

As for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, they will square off against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Bad timing for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, as Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will come into the matchup on a three game winning streak.

Coach Tim Fabrizio definitely did not have the best game personally, but their team managed to rise above their mistakes. SkinFan destroyed Homesick Abortions, winning 56 to 38. The win is more of the same for SkinFan, who won the last game with Homesick Abortions by the score of 73 to 65.

The win gets SkinFan back to .500 with a 3 - 3 record. The loss drops Homesick Abortions to the last spot in the West Side division at 2 - 4.

SkinFan were led by the two man wrecking crew of Cam Newton and the Cardinals Defense/ST, who combined for 59% of SkinFan's points. Newton's performance paced SkinFan for the 1st time this year. He sold out completely to make it to the pylon on this late, game-tying TD run.

Coach Fabrizio's squad managed to rise above the bad efforts from T.J. Yeldon and Darren Sproles (2 points total). Coach Fabrizio found out why Sproles was available on the waiver wire this week.

Meanwhile, Derek Carr stuck out as the worst performer for Homesick Abortions, delivering only 5 points.1 That's the fewest points that he's scored so far this year. He started out good- making this perfect TD pass just three minutes into the game. But he wouldn't throw another one all day.

Antonio Brown falling 8 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Brown had to have given the most disappointing performance, having been projected to score 9 points.

On the coaching front, both sides made mistakes this week. Coach Fabrizio seems to have checked out this season, having forgotten to set their lineup for the last two weeks. They left Jordan Reed in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. They also left Darren Sproles in the lineup (Jonathan Stewart would have been 15 points better). This is the first time this year that Coach Fabrizio's decisions have cost their team points.

Coach Chris Crowder could have made Coach Fabrizio pay if he set the best possible lineup. Coach Crowder left Theo Riddick in the game, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points.

That cost his team 1 point, which ultimately didn't matter much this game. However, if Coach Crowder had left Theo Riddick on the bench and also started Coby Fleener and Devin Funchess, Homesick Abortions would have won the game.

Next week SkinFan will take on Alcoholnics in a battle that features the top two gameday coaches in the league. Adding to the difficulty, SkinFan will have to put their quarterback depth to the test in that one, as Cam Newton has his bye week.

Homesick Abortions' next game will be against DenBro in a rematch from week four. Homesick Abortions won the previous matchup easily. Coach Crowder will no doubt be worried that Michael Crabtree will drop another 22 points for DenBro like he did last time.

In a game where both teams had a shot to win, Alcoholnics handed SkinFan a tough 59 to 57 loss. The 2 point margin that separated these two teams is the smallest gap of the season so far.

The loss drops SkinFan back below .500 at 3 - 4.

Coach Nick Claeboe picked up Jay Ajayi off the waiver wire this week and he paid immediate dividends. Ajayi joined up with Rob Gronkowski to put up 26 points. That makes it five straight games of overperforming expectations for Ajayi. He became just the fourth man in NFL history to have consecutive 200 yard rushing games, using plays like this one to make it happen.

Although they took the loss, SkinFan got a big game from Mike Evans. Evans contributed a 16 point performance, which was good for 5th place among all players this week.1 Unfortunately, for SkinFan, he both began and ended the list of big performers on the squad.

T.J. Yeldon and Stephen Gostkowski were double trouble for SkinFan, together recording only 4 points. Gostkowski missed an extra point again this week, making it two weeks in a row that he's failed to convert that distance.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. Alcoholnics will be going against Zombie Werewolves. Alcoholnics will get to face Zombie Werewolves while that squad is in the middle of a four game losing streak.

SkinFan's next two games are against winning teams, starting with DenBro next week. Coach Don Zimmerman's team will come into the game with some momentum, having posted 96 points this week.

Coming into the game, Zombie Werewolves had scored fewer points than anyone else in the last three weeks. This week, Coach Patrick jolle's squad scored a non-embarrassing number of points, but that wasn't enough. Zombie Werewolves could not make it much of a game, losing to The Brainers 73 to 58. Zombie Werewolves beat The Brainers back in week two, so the turnabout this week was fair play.

This loss brings Zombie Werewolves' losing streak to four in a row, dropping their record to 2 - 5. The win was The Brainers' 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 4 - 3.

The Brainers were hot right out of the gate early on Sunday. The Eagles Defense/ST carried the water, scoring 23 points, which were the most that any player collected this week.

A.J. Green helped early on Sunday as well, scoring 6.6 more points than expected. Green made not just one, but two catches this week that are candidates for catch of the year.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves were having a so-so performance. They got a total of 3 points from Jordan Matthews and Todd Gurley. This is the first time this year that Matthews has been the worst starter on his team.

Zombie Werewolves were already facing fairly long odds going into the Sunday late games. Any hope they had left evaporated after Julian Edelman and Jesse James dropped only 1 point. A solid performance for Zombie Werewolves by C.J. Anderson on Monday night was not nearly enough for a comeback.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse might have gotten the victory this week, but it wasn't due to his efforts. He went with Terrance West over the higher ranked Isaiah Crowell.

This terrible decision took a 9 point chunk out of The Brainers' final score, which ultimately didn't make a difference in the final outcome. Coach Rittenhouse's lineup moves pushed him into negative territory for the season, costing his team 6 points versus what the experts would have done.

Zombie Werewolves' next game will be against Alcoholnics in a rematch from week one. Zombie Werewolves ended up getting crushed in the previous matchup by 37 points. The game will feature the league's top two players, as Zombie Werewolves' Drew Brees faces off against Alcoholnics' the Vikings Defense/ST.

Meanwhile, The Brainers will take on Pinko Commie Bastards. Bad timing for The Brainers, as Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the matchup on a three game winning streak. The game will be a rematch from week four, but The Brainers will have the Eagles Defense/ST available, who had their bye week during the first matchup.

This was expected to be a blowout and it was. The surprise was who blew out who. Big Tex's Pillow Biters demolished Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 68 to 43. The win helped Big Tex's Pillow Biters halt Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's three game winning streak.

With the win, Big Tex's Pillow Biters moved to 5 - 2, good for the top spot in the West Side division. The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to 4 - 3.

The bulk of Coach William Hayes' squad was playing during the early Sunday slate, and they got Big Tex's Pillow Biters off to a solid start. They were powered by the duo of Sebastian Janikowski and Tyrod Taylor, who scored 18 and 19 points, respectively. Janikowski's 18 points topped all kickers this week.

Meanwhile, Coach Robert Wetzel's squad just couldn't quite get it going. The Titans Defense/ST (2 points) was the worst in a group of four marginally underperforming players.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters were already in good shape going into the Sunday late games. It was over for good after LeGarrette Blount scored 18 points.

Both teams have good news in the upcoming schedule. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will face off against Homesick Abortions next week. That team can't be feeling too confident after scoring less than 50 points each of the last two weeks. The game will be a rematch from week five, and Coach Hayes will no doubt be worried that Derek Carr will drop another 17 points for Homesick Abortions like he did the last time those teams faced off.

Although Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum lost this game, on the bright side, Big Tex's Pillow Biters was the hardest test they will face for a while. Their next three games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Showtime next week. Both teams come into that game licking their wounds after getting thoroughly knocked around by their opponents.

Coach Ronnie Rmartz has probably found some other ways (whittling maybe?) to pass the time during their recent games. After last week's blowout, they were involved in another no-doubter this week (and lost again). Showtime got beat down by Pinko Commie Bastards, losing 68 to 37.

The loss was Showtime's 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 2 - 5. The win brings Pinko Commie Bastards to 4 - 3, and sends them to the top of the power rankings.

Pinko Commie Bastards got a nice group performance in the win, as five players beat their positional averages. T.Y. Hilton was just a bit ahead of the others, notching 12 points.1 Hilton managed to catch this long touchdown bomb in his fingertips and quickly secure it before the DB could swat it away.

Pinko Commie Bastards also got a better-than-expected performance from Spencer Ware, who beat his projections by 4.6 points. Ware slid through half of the players on the New Orleans defense on this spectacular TD reception.

Coach Erran Yearty's squad won despite bad games from the Patriots Defense/ST, Odell Beckham, and Caleb Sturgis, who together posted 13 points. Underperforming is the new normal for the Patriots, who have gone four straight games without hitting their projected point total.

Showtime had never won when Blake Bortles failed to hit his expected points, and that held true again this week. Bortles was the worst of seven underperformers, producing 6 points.2 That was the fewest of any quarterback this week.

Another underperformer, Showtime's defense (the Bills), were the worst at their position. Showtime only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Demaryius Thomas scoring 8 points.

Both teams have a tough upcoming schedule. Next week, Showtime will take on the 4 - 3 Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum brings in the best player in the league over the past three weeks: David Johnson.

It was important for Pinko Commie Bastards to get the victory this week, as Showtime will be the easiest game they will face for a while. The next three games are against winning teams, starting with The Brainers next week. The game will be a rematch from week four, but The Brainers will have the Eagles Defense/ST, who had their bye week during the first matchup.

There were several blowouts this week, but none bigger than this one. DenBro (4 - 3) left Homesick Abortions (2 - 5) wondering where it all went wrong, winning 96 to 44. Those 96 points made DenBro the highest scoring team overall this season, wresting the crown from Pinko Commie Bastards.

Homesick Abortions blew out DenBro back in week four, so the reversal of fortune this week seems fair. Besides the win, DenBro picked up the Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award by exceeding their projections by more than any other team this week.

When Coach Don Zimmerman entertained thoughts of winning this game, they probably didn't include the three players that ended up leading the way. Melvin Gordon scored 23 points, Latavius Murray got 14, and Brandin Cooks dropped 8. Gordon took a huge hit on this run, but just treated it as a suggestion to run more in a different direction.

DenBro also got the highest score out of any quarterback this week courtesy of Andrew Luck, who delivered 22 points. DenBro got the win despite leaving the Giants Defense/ST and their 20 points on the bench. The Giants' performance this week was better than every other bench-rider in the league.

Meanwhile, Coach Chris Crowder will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. Mike Gillislee was the worst of a six man group of underperformers, dropping only 1 point. Gillislee might be heading back to the waiver wire after getting picked up before this game. Homesick Abortions only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Julio Jones scoring 8 points.1

Next week, DenBro will be playing SkinFan. SkinFan lost this week, and will be looking to avoid their first back-to-back losses.

Homesick Abortions' next game will be against Big Tex's Pillow Biters in a rematch from week five. Homesick Abortions won the previous matchup 45 to 31. Homesick Abortions have now been the favorite in both their last two games, and failed to perform both times. The experts might not give them the benefit of the doubt in their next one.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters (6 - 2) earned a pretty comfortable victory over Homesick Abortions (2 - 6), winning 76 to 63. Big Tex's Pillow Biters have now scored 144 points over the last two weeks, which is quite a turnaround given that they were the 2nd lowest scoring team in the league at the beginning of that stretch.

The game leaves both these teams streaking in opposite directions. The victory makes it three in a row for Big Tex's Pillow Biters. The defeat puts Homesick Abortions on a three game losing streak.

Coach William Hayes' squad got off on the right foot early on Sunday. The tag team of the Panthers Defense/ST and Matt Forte led the way, scoring 35 points between them. Forte's two rushing touchdowns allowed him to reach some pretty lofty career milestones.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions were keeping up. Derek Carr took the lead, scoring 28 points. Carr managed to rack up a franchise record 513, while making 59 attempts without an interception.

It was all tied up going into late Sunday. Coach Hayes needed Devonta Freeman to outscore Julio Jones.

Jones had a sub-par effort, scoring 1 point, putting the contest in Freeman's hands. Freeman then did what he needed to do, dropping 14 points to win the game.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters' next game will be against SkinFan in a rematch from week three. Big Tex's Pillow Biters won the previous matchup 57 to 40. SkinFan, who won this week, will be looking for their first back-to-back wins of the season.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will be playing Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. Coach Crowder will be happy to see that Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum is coming into next week's game having scored less than 50 points in their previous two games.

Pinko Commie Bastards came into this match-up riding high on a three game winning streak. Make it four. They took down The Brainers handily, winning 49 to 34. Pinko Commie Bastards would have only beaten one other team this week, so Coach Erran Yearty got pretty lucky with the schedule.

With the win, Pinko Commie Bastards moved to 5 - 3, good for the top spot in the East Side division. The loss drops The Brainers' record to 4 - 4.

Pinko Commie Bastards had never lost when Tom Brady overperformed his expectations, and that held true again this week. Pinko Commie Bastards were led by the one-man team of Brady, who was responsible for more than half of his team's points. He scored 28 points, which made him the top performer on Pinko Commie Bastards for the first time this year.

Despite winning, Pinko Commie Bastards struggled to score points due to seven underperforming players, of whom Spencer Ware (1 point) was the worst.

Russell Wilson was expected to be the best QB this week, but ended up being the worst. The Brainers had many underperformers, but Wilson stood out, delivering only 3 points.1 He has now gone three straight weeks without throwing a touchdown pass.

Josh Lambo has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 5.6 fewer points than he was expected to. Lambo's 1 point was the fewest he has scored so far this year. The Brainers only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with A.J. Green scoring 6 points.2

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse has to place a big part of the blame for this loss on himself. He left Dan Bailey and Dez Bryant on the bench in favor of Lambo and Emmanuel Sanders, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions cost The Brainers a total of 19 points, which cost them the game. Coach Rittenhouse has now cost his team points in both of the last two weeks.

The schedule for Pinko Commie Bastards brings DenBro around next week. The scoreboard operator might be kept busy in that one, as those are the two highest scoring teams in the league.

As for The Brainers, they will square off against Alcoholnics. Alcoholnics will bring the league's top player so far, the Vikings Defense/ST, into the game.

Zombie Werewolves (3 - 5) were projected to score the fewest points this week, but the experts couldn't have been more wrong. They made it look easy against Alcoholnics (5 - 3), winning 84 to 50. With the win, Zombie Werewolves put an end to their four game losing streak.

Alcoholnics blew out Zombie Werewolves back in week one, so the turnabout this week was fair play. Zombie Werewolves didn't just win, but also beat their point projections by more than any other team, earning them the Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award.

Zombie Werewolves had almost all of their firepower going off during the early Sunday slate, and they came through. They were powered by Amari Cooper, who scored 14 points. Cooper skied high to pull down this key reception to set up a game-tying touchdown for the Raiders.

The Chiefs Defense/ST added an unexpected boost, scoring 4.3 points more than they was projected to. It's also the 3rd straight week that they have outperformed their projections.

Meanwhile, Alcoholnics were having a so-so performance. James White didn't make his coach proud this week, scoring exactly zero points. White's performance broke his three game streak of surpassing his projections.

Zombie Werewolves were already comfortably ahead going into the Sunday late games. Any doubt in the outcome was removed after Aaron Rodgers scored 29 points. A solid performance for Zombie Werewolves by Jordan Matthews on Sunday night just put a little bit of salt in Alcoholnics' wounds.

Zombie Werewolves' next game will be against Showtime in a rematch from week five. Zombie Werewolves lost the previous matchup 56 to 40. Showtime will have to play without Larry Fitzgerald, who has a bye week.

As for Alcoholnics, they will match up with The Brainers next week. Points were in short supply for that team this week, as they could only scrounge up 34 of them. The game will be a rematch from week three, when the Vikings Defense/ST went off for 25 points.

It's probably been tough for Coach Robert Wetzel to stay awake while following their recent games. After last week's blowout, they played in another one this week (and lost again). Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (4 - 4) were on the losing side of a blowout, falling 38 to 65 at the hands of Showtime (3 - 5). The loss is part of bad trend for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, who have scored fewer points than the week before for three straight weeks now.

The 38 points that Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum scored were the fewest they scored this year, beating the mark they set just last week. On the other side of the scale, Showtime set their personal high score with those 65 points.

Showtime didn't have any huge performances this week, but also didn't have anybody who really dropped the ball. Dak Prescott topped the quarterback average by 5.9 points to lead the team, while Matt Asiata fell only 5.1 points short of the average RB in bringing up the rear. Prescott's 20 points represent the most he's had this year. He also topped his projections for the 6th straight week.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum are bound to have a hard time winning when Adam Vinatieri has a bad week, and that's just what happened. Vinatieri was the worst of seven underperformers, dropping 2 points.1 His performance this week broke his four game streak of surpassing the league average.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also had to deal with a poor effort from David Johnson (5 points below expected). Johnson's performances have been a good barometer for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this season, as they have gone 1 - 3 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 3 - 1 when he meets them. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with DeMarco Murray scoring 12 points.

Given the news on the general manager front, it was a good thing that Showtime were able to pull of the win. Coach Ronnie Rmartz left Blake Bortles on the waiver pile just in time for him to go off for 24 points this week.

Losing to easy competition better not become a habit for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum as they face off against two more sub .500 teams over the next two weeks, starting with Homesick Abortions. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum might be feeling extra confident about that game, as Homesick Abortions limps in on a three game losing streak.

Next week will feature a mirror image matchup when the 3 - 5 Showtime take on the 3 - 5 Zombie Werewolves. Both coaches on those teams might be feeling a bit cocky heading into the game, having easily dispatched their opponents this week.

SkinFan just outclassed DenBro this week, earning a 79 to 64 victory. SkinFan got some measure of revenge on DenBro for their matchup back in week one, when SkinFan lost 81 to 61. The result gets both squads back to a .500 record at 4 - 4.

Coach Tim Fabrizio used early draft picks on Jonathan Stewart and Jordan Reed, and they came through for them this week. Stewart scored 15 points, while Reed scored 10.

SkinFan also got a big effort from Kirk Cousins (6.6 points above expected). Cousins showed off some serious speed in taking this QB option 19 yards to paydirt.

The only real damper on SkinFan's victory came from the Cardinals Defense/ST, who scored 3 points. Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for the Cardinals, who have seen their point total drop in each of the last three weeks.

Meanwhile, Coach Don Zimmerman will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. DenBro were brought down by four underperformers, the worst of whom was Latavius Murray (3 points).1

Coach Zimmerman has had the most stable lineup in the league, but that consistency wasn't helpful this week. They left Randall Cobb in the game, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points.

That cost their team 8 points, which ultimately didn't matter much this game. This makes it back-to-back weeks where They have cost their team points.

Both teams face trouble in the upcoming schedule. Next week will see SkinFan taking on the 6 - 2 Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Unfortunately for SkinFan, Big Tex's Pillow Biters are coming into their matchup on a three game winning streak.

There are sure to be fireworks in DenBro's game, as they take on Pinko Commie Bastards in a battle between the two highest scoring teams in the league. Pinko Commie Bastards comes into the match on a four game winning streak.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters came into the game on a three game streak of improving their point total, and kept it going this week. They ended up well ahead of SkinFan, winning 78 to 61. The 78 points that Big Tex's Pillow Biters dropped were the most they scored so far this year.

The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters' winning streak to four games, and gives them a record of 7 - 2. The loss drops SkinFan back below .500 at 4 - 5.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters got good efforts from almost everyone on the squad, with six players topping their positional averages. Antonio Gates was the best of the bunch, notching 9 points.1 That's the most points that he's scored so far this year.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters would have won by a more comfortable margin if Big Tex's Pillow Biters had Jimmy Graham and his 17 points in the starting lineup. Graham did better than any player actually in Big Tex's Pillow Biters' starting lineup this week.2

Meanwhile, this week's loss for SkinFan was a true group effort. They had five underperformers, with Cam Newton (9 points) being the worst.3 Newton's 9 points made him the worst starter on his team for the 2nd time this season.

SkinFan also had to deal with a bad performance from Darren Sproles, who scored only 2 points. Sproles has now underperformed the league average running back in five straight games.

The only real legit performance that SkinFan got came courtesy of Mike Evans, who scored 19 points. Evans not only pulled down an amazing one-handed catch on this play, but managed to hold on despite a crushing hit.

There's a favorable schedule ahead for both teams. Big Tex's Pillow Biters' next game will be against DenBro in a rematch from week two. Big Tex's Pillow Biters won the previous matchup 73 to 65. DenBro won't have Michael Crabtree available to start in next week's contest.

SkinFan needs to put this week's loss behind them and try to take advantage of their upcoming schedule. They face off against three straight losing teams, with Showtime coming up first.

The experts had Alcoholnics giving the most points of any team this week, and that now looks like a good prediction. They got the job done against The Brainers, winning 59 to 49. Alcoholnics won despite having the 4th lowest scoring total in the league this week.

The win brings Alcoholnics' record to 6 - 3, while dropping The Brainers to 4 - 5.

Alcoholnics got more than half their points from just two players: Matt Ryan and Cameron Brate. After throwing four TDs against Tampa Bay, Ryan has now thrown at least three touchdowns in six of his nine games.

Jay Ajayi helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 5.2 points. Ajayi has now overperformed the experts' predictions in six straight games.

Meanwhile, it will be difficult for Coach Chuck Rittenhouse to fault any one player for the loss. Terrance West was the worst of a six man group of underperformers, posting only 1 point.

Coach Rittenhouse has made some poor lineup calls this week, but that's nothing new for one of the league's bottom-ranked coaches. Perhaps scared off by Josh Lambo's 1 point performance last week, Coach Rittenhouse left him on the bench in favor of Dan Bailey, despite the experts' prediction that Lambo should have played.

This decision shaved 8 points from The Brainers' score, and marks the 3rd straight week where he has cost his team points.

Alcoholnics will face off against Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Coach Erran Yearty's team just had a huge week, having posted 86 points. Meanwhile, The Brainers will take on Homesick Abortions.

Coming into the game, Pinko Commie Bastards had scored the most points of any team over the last three weeks, and they kept that momentum going. Coach Erran Yearty's squad gave DenBro a 86 to 59 point drubbing. Pinko Commie Bastards not only got the win, but exceeded their expectations by more than any other team this week. That earned Coach Yearty this week's Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award.

Pinko Commie Bastards have now finished off five straight opponents after this win, bringing their record to 6 - 3. DenBro are now 4 - 5 after losing three out of their last four games.

Mark Ingram and Odell Beckham were the prime movers for Pinko Commie Bastards, delivering 20 and 14 points, respectively. Ingram's 20 point performance topped all but three players this week.1 He showed off some unexpected burst in outrunning the 49ers secondary and taking this rush 75 yards to the house.

Pinko Commie Bastards only had one underperfoming player, with Christine Michael scoring 6 points.2

Meanwhile, Andrew Luck loomed large in the loss for DenBro, dropping 6 points.3 Luck's performance this week definitively ended a five game streak of beating the experts' projections.

The Broncos Defense/ST falling 4.6 points short of their expectations didn't help matters much either. That was quite a falloff from last week, when they scored 17 points.

Melvin Gordon and Ezekiel Elliott, scoring 34 points, did their best to make the final margin slightly less embarrassing. Elliott pulled off a spectacular move in transferring the ball mid-air to get it across the pylon for this touchdown.

Pinko Commie Bastards and Alcoholnics play next week in a battle for the East Side division lead. These two teams squared off in week five, when Pinko Commie Bastards and Alcoholnics ended in a tie.

DenBro will try to cool off Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters are coming in hot, having won four games in a row. The game will be a rematch from week two, and Coach Don Zimmerman will no doubt be hoping that the Broncos Defense/ST can drop 21 points like he did last time.

By a score of 63 to 52, Zombie Werewolves walked away victorious over Showtime. Zombie Werewolves were able to give Showtime some payback for their week five matchup, when Zombie Werewolves were defeated 56 to 40. The win brings Zombie Werewolves' record to 4 - 5, while dropping Showtime to 3 - 6.

Zombie Werewolves finished Sunday's main action with a respectable number of points. Matt Bryant's 16 points were the key contribution. Bryant's 16 points were the most that any kicker collected this week.

Meanwhile, Showtime were sputtering along with a less than stellar performance. They had four underperformers, with the Jets Defense/ST (1 point) bringing up the rear. The Jets fell farther short of their expected points than any other player this week.

Showtime faced a steep climb going into Sunday night. Coach Ronnie Rmartz needed Demaryius Thomas to outscore Amari Cooper by 11 points.

Cooper had a sub-par effort, scoring 2 points and giving Coach Rmartz a real chance for a comeback. Unfortunately, Thomas had a disappointing game, scoring 2 points, which wasn't nearly enough.

Coach Patrick jolle cannot be happy with how their team has played this season, but they have to be enjoying the recent turnaround, having won the past 2 games. They'll hope to keep that momentum going into next week's matchup with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Meanwhile, Showtime will collide with SkinFan. Showtime will be attempting to give SkinFan their first back-to-back losses next week.

'We can build on this.' Homesick Abortions, who stumbled into week nine with the worst record in the league, better hope so. They crushed Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 60 to 32. The victory ended Homesick Abortions' three game losing streak.

The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 4 - 5, and sinks them to the bottom of the power rankings. The win brings Homesick Abortions to 3 - 6.

Homesick Abortions came in with the best performing wide receivers. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum came in with the 2nd worst. The results were unsurprising. Homesick Abortions got good efforts from two different players in the wide receiver group, with Julio Jones scoring 11 points to lead the way. Good performances are nothing new for Jones, who has been the top performer on Homesick Abortions more times than any other player.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum saw two of their wide receivers fall well behind, none failing harder than Dez Bryant, who scored exactly zero points. No other wide receiver scored fewer points than that this week.

The rest of Coach Chris Crowder's lineup followed their wide receivers, scoring 39 more points. That group was led by Greg Olsen, who scored 8 points. A good performance by Olsen has been crucial for Homesick Abortions all year, as they have gone 3 - 1 when he exceeds expectations, and 0 - 4 when he doesn't.

Next week will see Homesick Abortions taking on the 4 - 5 Brainers. That battle (featuring Martellus Bennett for The Brainers) will be the first of a three straight games against tough tight ends (Delanie Walker and Rob Gronkowski are on the schedule in the following weeks). As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will take on Zombie Werewolves in a battle of two 4 - 5 teams.

Showtime absolutely embarrassed SkinFan this week, winning by the score of 85 to 42. Blowouts are nothing new to Coach Ronnie Rmartz, since Showtime has been involved in the most blowout games of anybody in league so far.

SkinFan are now 4 - 6 after suffering their first back-to-back losses of the season. The win brings Showtime to an identical 4 - 6.

Despite coming into the game having lost his job as the starter, Ryan Mathews got starter carries and made them count. Showtime relied heavily on Mathews, who produced 20 points. That performance was good for 5th place among all players this week.1 His performance also ended a six game streak of failing to perform at a league average level.

Showtime also got the highest score out of any kicker this week courtesy of Dustin Hopkins, who put up 16 points. Showtime only had one underperfoming player, with Matt Asiata scoring 6 points.2

Meanwhile, Jonathan Stewart and Darren Sproles put a big hurt on SkinFan's chances this week, recording only 3 points between them. Coach Tim Fabrizio has to be used to bad scores from Stewart, who has been the worst performer on SkinFan more times than any other player.

Next week, Showtime will be playing Alcoholnics. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 38 points this week. This rematch from week four might not have the same result as last time, since Jordy Nelson will be available to play for Showtime.

Meanwhile, SkinFan will collide with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. SkinFan will have long odds to win if Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum scores another 101 points, like they did this week.

Scoring the fewest points in the league for the week is bad strategy. Just ask Coach Nick Claeboe. Alcoholnics ended up pretty far behind in this one, losing 52 to 38 to Pinko Commie Bastards. Alcoholnics have now failed to top their projections in any of the past five weeks.

Pinko Commie Bastards have now won six games in a row, which gives them a 7 - 3 record. The loss drops Alcoholnics' record to 6 - 4.

Delanie Walker led a very balanced group of four overperformers for Pinko Commie Bastards this week, notching 12 points. That was the most of any tight end this week. After his performance, he moved up to being the best tight end in the league.

There were four underperformers keeping Pinko Commie Bastards from a proper victory, with Tom Brady (4 points) being the worst of them.1 Brady's 4 point performance was worse than every other player this week.2

Alcoholnics, meanwhile, were having a terrible time moving the ball down the field, with the whole team gaining only 312 yards. That was the lowest yards gained total of any team this week. Two players stood out for their poor performance in that category for Alcoholnics, with Michael Thomas and DeAndre Hopkins combining to gain only 88 total yards.

The outcome of this one would have been different if Coach Claeboe had gotten all of his lineup picks right. He started two players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. One of those picks, Matt Ryan, worked out. The other pick, Thomas, did not.

Overall, these moves cost Alcoholnics a total of 13 points. If Coach Claeboe had kept Ryan in the lineup, left Thomas on the bench, and also started Cameron Brate, Alcoholnics would have won the game.

Both teams have good news in the upcoming schedule. Alcoholnics' next game will be against Showtime in a rematch from week four. Alcoholnics won the previous matchup in a blowout. Showtime won this week, but that might be a good thing for Alcoholnics, since Showtime has yet to win back-to-back games.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will be playing Homesick Abortions next week. Homesick Abortions will have to put their wide receiver depth to the test in that one, as Julio Jones has his bye week.

Hopefully Coach Chris Crowder has been able to find excitement in the non-fantasy parts of his life. After last week's blowout, he was involved in another run away game (but lost this time). Homesick Abortions didn't even sniff the winner's podium, losing to The Brainers 73 to 49.

Thanks to the loss, Homesick Abortions have now come out on the losing end of four of their last five games, moving their record to 3 - 7. The win brings The Brainers back to even at 5 - 5.

The Brainers had a two man team in DeMarco Murray and Marcus Mariota, who together came up with 60% of The Brainers' points. Murray's performance early on Sunday took him from the 5th best player to the 3rd best player in the league. He had an absurd start to the Packers game, running for 75 yards on the first play from scrimmage, and then throwing a touchdown pass on the very next series.

Meanwhile, Coach Crowder can look to running backs Jerick McKinnon and Duke Johnson when passing out blame for the loss. The two combined to score only 1 point. Coach Crowder might want to give Johnson some leeway, given that he faced off against the Ravens, who have been the best defense against running backs so far this season.

Unfortunately for Homesick Abortions, they will play Pinko Commie Bastards next week, who is riding a six-game win streak. The contest will see some top shelf TE play, as Greg Olsen meets up with Delanie Walker. Meanwhile, The Brainers will take on Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week.

Coach Robert Wetzel really needed someone to lend them a hand and help end their three game losing streak. Coach Patrick jolle was only too happy to help. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum destroyed Zombie Werewolves, winning 101 to 65. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also won the Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award this week by exceeding their expectations by more points than any other team.

The win evens up Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record at 5 - 5. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves' record to 4 - 6.

Le'Veon Bell did about as good for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this week as he did bad last week. Although Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had plenty of players step up in the win, Bell was the first among equals, delivering 17 points.1 He hadn't scored a rushing or passing touchdown all season, but got one of each this week.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got a better-than-expected performance from Ben Roethlisberger, who beat his projections by 10.9 points. Roethlisberger pulled a page out of the Dan Marino playbook with this clutch fake-spike that went for an (almost) game-winning touchdown. C.J. Fiedorowicz was the only underperforming player, scoring only 1 point.

Zombie Werewolves had never won when Tavon Austin failed to hit his expected points, and that held true again this week. Austin was one of three big underperformers, combining with Todd Gurley and Jordan Matthews to drop 6 points. This is the first time this year that Austin has been the worst starter on his team.

Coach Wetzel added a perfect lineup to their win, which involved more than just going chalk. They started Dez Bryant instead of Brandon Marshall, despite the experts' prediction that Marshall should have played.

This great decision netted Coach Wetzel an extra 12 points, which just made the final result that much more embarrassing. This is the first time this year that Coach Wetzel has set a perfect lineup.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's next game will be against SkinFan in a rematch from week five. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum absolutely demolished SkinFan, winning by 44 points. Coach Wetzel will be keeping their fingers crossed that Adam Vinatieri will score 23 points like he did when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum last played SkinFan.

As for Zombie Werewolves, they will match up with DenBro next week. DenBro will get to slot Ezekiel Elliott into the lineup, who has been the best player in the league over the past three weeks.

DenBro have been relying on Ezekiel Elliott all year, and he came through again this week. DenBro completely dismantled Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 84 to 41 behind 28 points from Elliott. That set the new high mark for all running backs this season. Elliott not only beat the Steelers with an amazing last second touchdown, but also added his first TD reception.

DenBro also got a big effort from Brandon McManus (4.6 points above expected). McManus has now gone four weeks without dipping below the average kicker's points.

Meanwhile, while balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Big Tex's Pillow Biters this week. Doug Baldwin paced the team by beating the average wide receiver by 14.7 points, while Devonta Freeman (4.2 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team. Freeman's 3 points made him the worst starter on his team for the 3rd time this season.

The win gets DenBro back to .500 with a 5 - 5 record. The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 7 - 3.

Coach Don Zimmerman can rest a bit after this big victory since the next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Zombie Werewolves next week. DenBro will have to play without Melvin Gordon, who has a bye week. As for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, they will square off against The Brainers next week.

Homesick Abortions came into this week with the worst record in the league, and finished this week with the worst record in the league. They lost to Pinko Commie Bastards, 65 to 59.

The win makes it seven in a row for Pinko Commie Bastards, which brings their record to 8 - 3. The loss drops Homesick Abortions' record to 3 - 8.

Pinko Commie Bastards had almost all of their firepower going during the Sunday early games, but they didn't end up with a lot of points. They had three slightly underperforming players, with Spencer Ware (3 points) being the worst. Ware's 3 points made him the worst starter on his team for the 2nd time this season.

Meanwhile, Coach Chris Crowder had five players in the field early on Sunday and all of them stunk. Mike Nugent was the worst offender, scoring exactly zero points. Nugent has now failed to top the league average kicker in six straight games.

Homesick Abortions also had to deal with a poor effort from Antonio Brown (4.4 points below expected).

Going into the Sunday late games, Pinko Commie Bastards were already looking good. Tom Brady then officially ended the game, scoring 26 points.

Pinko Commie Bastards will be going against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum have been racking up the points recently, posting two straight 70+ point games. Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will be playing Alcoholnics next week.

Alcoholnics got this win with a little bit in reserve, earning a 59 to 53 victory over Showtime. Alcoholnics got a fairly lucky victory, winning with the 4th lowest point total in the league this week. The win brings Alcoholnics' record to 7 - 4, while dropping Showtime to 4 - 7.

The Vikings Defense/ST separated themselves from the rest of the crew on Alcoholnics, posting 18 points. The Vikings' performance this week stopped their four game streak of not meeting their projections.

Meanwhile, Ryan Mathews stuck out as the worst performer for Showtime, producing only 1 point.1 Mathews hopefully has some credit left over from last week's 20 point performance. He left with a knee injury that could also keep him out of next week's Monday night tilt.

Alcoholnics' victory over a struggling team bodes well for the squad, as its upcoming schedule doesn't get any harder. The next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Homesick Abortions next week. Meanwhile, Showtime will take on DenBro.

After last week's blowout, Big Tex's Pillow Biters got a big change of pace with this week's tight contest versus The Brainers. They just slipped by The Brainers, 69 to 68. No team this season has had to suffer a closer loss than the one The Brainers endured this week.

The loss was The Brainers' 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 5 - 6. The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 8 - 3.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. Doug Baldwin was the best player, scoring 10, while Frank Gore was the worst on the team with 5.1 Baldwin has become something of a lodestar for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, as they have never lost when he overperforms his expectations, going 3 - 0. He picked up some fantasy points by throwing the ball against the Eagles, not that he was happy about it.

The Brainers lost despite the prodigious efforts of the Steelers Defense/ST. The Steelers kicked in a 21 point performance, which was the 2nd best of any player this week.2 Unfortunately for The Brainers, they were the only player on the whole team that had a legit good performance.

The Brainers had three stooges, with A.J. Green, Martellus Bennett, and Kelvin Benjamin dropping 2 points. Green's performance this week ended a three game streak of beating the league average. He injured his hamstring, which will keep him out of at least next week's game (and maybe the rest of the season).

Although only one wound up with a victory, both coaches made good decisions this week. Coach William Hayes wound up with a perfect lineup this week, albeit by following the CBSSports projections to the letter. This is the first time all season that Coach Hayes has pulled that off (slow clap).

This is the first time this year that Coach Chuck Rittenhouse has had the same lineup in back-to-back games, and the tried and true came through. He went with the Steelers Defense/ST over the higher ranked the Eagles Defense/ST.

This decision boosted The Brainers' final score by 20 points, which wasn't quite enough. Still, Coach Rittenhouse's lineup moves made him the best performing gameday coach this week.

Coach Rittenhouse will put his managerial prowess to work against SkinFan next week. Coach Rittenhouse can look forward to facing SkinFan at an opportune time. SkinFan has scored less than 50 points in their last two games heading into this one. As for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, they will square off against Zombie Werewolves.

This matchup was a heat check for both these squads. DenBro had scored the second most points of any team over the last three weeks, while Zombie Werewolves had scored the most points of any team. Zombie Werewolves were the team that rose up to the challenge.

Zombie Werewolves strolled past DenBro, winning 63 to 49. Zombie Werewolves improve to 5 - 6 after winning three out of their last four games. The loss drops DenBro back below .500 at 5 - 6.

Zombie Werewolves were led by the two man wrecking crew of Aaron Rodgers and Julian Edelman, who combined for 51% of Zombie Werewolves' points. After Rodgers' performance this week, he moved up to being the best quarterback in the league. He is now on a four game losing streak on his real-life team despite throwing passes like this one.

Meanwhile, DenBro saw seven different players underperform, and while none of them particularly stuck out, Latavius Murray and his 3 points was officially the worst.1 DenBro only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Travis Kelce scoring 5 points.2

The schedule for DenBro brings Showtime around next week. Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will collide with Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum put a 44 point hurting on SkinFan in week five, and came back for seconds this week. In the only blowout this week, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (6 - 5) crushed SkinFan (4 - 7), winning 90 to 37. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum has been involved in five straight blowout games, while this is the 2nd straight blowout game for SkinFan.

Blowouts are typical for these teams these days. SkinFan has been involved in two straight blowout games, while this is the 5th straight blowout game for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. By exceeding their projections by a league-high 25 points, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum showed gumption worthy of this week's Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won with a balanced effort, as six players outperformed their positional averages. David Johnson was just a bit ahead of the others, delivering 19 points. That performance topped all but two players this week.1 A good performance by Johnson has been critical for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this season, as they have gone 5 - 1 when he exceeds his expectations, and 1 - 3 when he doesn't.

Another overperformer, wide receiver Dez Bryant, was the best at his position this week. The only real bad apple in Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's orchard this week was Ben Roethlisberger, who scored 5 points. Roethlisberger's bad day looks even worse in light of the fact that he was going up against the Browns, who have been the 3rd worst defense against quarterbacks this season.

Meanwhile, Cam Newton was the main culprit in SkinFan's loss, scoring only 8 points.2 Newton fell farther short of his expected points than any other player this week.

The Cardinals Defense/ST have to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 5.1 fewer points than they were expected to. It's yet another disappointing day for the Cardinals, who have now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

Next week, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on the 8 - 3 Pinko Commie Bastards. Bad timing for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, as Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the matchup on a seven game winning streak. Three weeks ago, that might have been more ominous to Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum which had just finished losing their 3rd game in a row. Now, however, they'll go into the matchup with Pinko Commie Bastards having won their last two. As for SkinFan, they will match up with The Brainers.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum came into the game as the biggest favorite this week and proceeded to make the experts look good. They got past Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 65 to 61. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's win ended Pinko Commie Bastards' seven game winning streak.

The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 7 - 5, and sends them to the top of the power rankings. The loss drops Pinko Commie Bastards' record to 8 - 4.

David Johnson has been coming through for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum all year, and this week was no different. Johnson teamed up with Le'Veon Bell and Ben Roethlisberger to provide 69% of Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's points. Johnson's latest outburst has him in elite company when it comes to how his first 11 games this season (and first 16 games overall) compare with other NFL greats.

Mark Ingram was kept on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's bench in the victory, but he didn't let that discourage him, as he went off for 20 points. Ingram did better than any player actually in Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's starting lineup this week.

Thomas Rawls got his first start for Pinko Commie Bastards this week, but it might be his last. Rawls was the worst of four underperformers, delivering 1 point. Coach Erran Yearty found out why he was available on the waiver wire this week.

As far as good performances for Pinko Commie Bastards, Odell Beckham stuck out with 16 points. Beckham graced Cleveland with a pretty good LeBron impression after his 2nd touchdown of the game.

Next week, Pinko Commie Bastards will be playing SkinFan. SkinFan, who won this week, will be looking for their first back-to-back wins of the season. As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will square off against The Brainers next week.

SkinFan gets to go home happy for the first time in four weeks. They beat The Brainers like a drum, winning 87 to 45. Besides the win, SkinFan picked up the Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award by exceeding their projections by more than any other team this week.

The win brings SkinFan's record to 5 - 7, while dropping The Brainers to an identical 5 - 7.

SkinFan had almost all of their firepower going off before the end of the Sunday early games, and they got Coach Tim Fabrizio's squad off to a solid start. Jordan Reed was a one man team, scoring 16 points. Reed produced despite suffering a separated AC joint during the game (he's not expected to miss any time going forward).

Meanwhile, Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's squad was taking a collective personal day. Lamar Miller managed to score all of zero points.

The Brainers also had to deal with a poor effort from DeMarco Murray (4.4 points below expected). Murray's performance this week broke his five game streak of surpassing his projections.

Going into the Sunday late games, SkinFan was a heavy favorite. After Mike Evans and Jonathan Stewart dropped 33 points, the game was over. A solid performance for SkinFan by Stephen Gostkowski on Sunday night just made things uglier.

Although he lost this week, Coach Rittenhouse had a good game on the sidelines. He started two players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. One of those picks, the Steelers Defense/ST, worked out. The other pick, Jamison Crowder, did not.

Overall, these moves gave The Brainers an extra 7 points, which obviously wasn't close to enough. Coach Rittenhouse has given his team extra points now in both of the last two weeks.

Next week will see SkinFan taking on the 8 - 4 Pinko Commie Bastards. Pinko Commie Bastards won't have Delanie Walker available to start in that contest.

The Brainers will try to cool off Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum are coming in hot, having won three games in a row. The Brainers have now been the favorite in both their last two games, and failed to perform both times. The experts might not give them the benefit of the doubt in their next one.

Alcoholnics had gotten terrible production out their wide receivers this season (2nd worst in the league), but this week it was a whole different story. Alcoholnics used sticky hands to power themselves to a 70 to 51 victory over Homesick Abortions. Michael Thomas scored 17 points, while Rishard Matthews scored 9. Thomas' 17 points represent the most he's had this year.

Over in the loser's circle, Homesick Abortions got a big game from Antonio Brown. Brown contributed a 22 point performance, which topped all players this week.1 Unfortunately for Coach Crowder, nobody else really stepped up.

Homesick Abortions suffered through poor performances from Rob Kelley, Jason Myers, and Julio Jones, who collectively managed only 5 points. Kelley's momentum from last week's 24 point performance apparently didn't carry over.

With the win, Alcoholnics have now won three out of their last four games, bringing their record to 8 - 4. Another defeat makes it three in a row for Homesick Abortions, which leaves them with a 3 - 9 record.

Alcoholnics will face off against DenBro next week. DenBro will get to start the league's hottest player in Ezekiel Elliott. Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will be playing Zombie Werewolves next week.

Coach Patrick jolle looked like they were trying to give away this game with their lineup decisions, but the team just wouldn't quit. Zombie Werewolves got past Big Tex's Pillow Biters without much trouble, winning 55 to 43.

The win evens up Zombie Werewolves' record at 6 - 6. The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 8 - 4.

Zombie Werewolves didn't have any huge performances this week, but also didn't have anybody who really dropped the ball. The Chiefs Defense/ST topped the Defense/ST average by 5.1 points to lead the team, while Amari Cooper fell only 4.7 points short of the average WR in bringing up the rear. The Chiefs' 14 point performance is no surprise, as they are currently the 2nd best Defense/ST in the league.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of chefs cooking up this week's loss for Big Tex's Pillow Biters. They were brought down by five underperformers, the worst of whom was Matt Forte (2 points).1 Forte has now been the worst starter on his team two times this season. His performances have closely tracked the fortunes of Big Tex's Pillow Biters this season, as they have gone 3 - 4 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 3 - 0 when he meets them.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Sebastian Janikowski scoring 9 points.2

Although their team won, Coach Jolle didn't have the best game personally. They went with Aaron Rodgers over the higher ranked Drew Brees.

This decision took a 13 point chunk out of Zombie Werewolves' final score, which--thankfully for Coach Jolle--didn't matter much this game. The bad decision is more of the same for Coach Jolle, whose gameday decisions have been some of the worst in the league this season.

Next week, Zombie Werewolves will take on the 3 - 9 Homesick Abortions. Good timing, as Homesick Abortions will come into the matchup on a three game losing streak. Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with Showtime.

Coach Don Zimmerman has had the most stable lineup in the league, and this week that stability paid off. They started Brandon McManus instead of Steven Hauschka, despite the experts' prediction that Hauschka should have played.

This decision gave DenBro a nice 6 point bonus and was the difference in the game, as they slid by Showtime (4 - 8), winning 47 to 42.

DenBro put forth a sub-par effort Sunday. Brock Osweiler kept the scoreboard operator relaxed, coming up with only 5 points. That made him the worst performer on DenBro for the first time this year.

While DenBro weren't doing well, Showtime were doing terrible. They had five laggards, with the Bills Defense/ST's 2 points being the worst performance. No other Defense/ST scored fewer points than that this week.

Showtime were also hurt by Charcandrick West falling 6.8 points short of the average running back. West has now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

Going into Monday night, Showtime were in a tough spot. Coach Ronnie Rmartz needed Jordy Nelson to outscore Zach Ertz by 8 points.

Ertz had a sub-par effort, scoring 1 point and giving Coach Rmartz a real chance for a comeback. Unfortunately, Nelson had a disappointing game, scoring 4 points, which wasn't enough.

Next week will see DenBro taking on the 8 - 4 Alcoholnics. As for Showtime, they will match up with Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

Coach Chris Crowder may have forgotten what it was like to win after losing three straight. Zombie Werewolves were friendly enough to remind him. Homesick Abortions earned a nice victory over Zombie Werewolves, winning 46 to 38. Homesick Abortions picked up a lucky win, given that their score topped only two other teams this week.

The loss drops Zombie Werewolves back below .500 at 6 - 7. The win brings Homesick Abortions to 4 - 9.

Homesick Abortions were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. Antonio Brown paced the team by beating the average wide receiver by 2.7 points, while Rob Kelley (3.6 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team. Brown's 8 point performance this week moves him up to being the best wide receiver in the league this season.

Drew Brees was expected to be the best QB, but ended up being the worst. Zombie Werewolves had many underperformers, but Brees stood out, posting zero points.

Zombie Werewolves also had to deal with a poor effort from Todd Gurley (5.2 points below expected). Gurley's 1 point was the fewest he has scored this year. Zombie Werewolves only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with the Buccaneers Defense/ST scoring 11 points.

Both coaches in this game struggled with lineup decisions. Homesick Abortions won this game despite, rather than because of, Coach Crowder's lineup moves. He started Jameis Winston instead of Derek Carr, despite the experts' prediction that Carr should have played.

This decision cost Homesick Abortions a total of 7 points, which ultimately didn't make a difference in the final outcome. Coach Crowder has now cost his team points in both of the last two weeks.

Meanwhile, Coach Patrick jolle was also busy costing their team points, just like they did last week. They went with Taylor Gabriel over the higher ranked Amari Cooper.

This decision shaved 6 points from Zombie Werewolves' score. Coach Jolle might want to draw a lesson from what happened, as their team has a much better record when they follows the experts' opinions on who to start.

Next week will see Homesick Abortions taking on the 5 - 8 Brainers. Coach Crowder is getting The Brainers at the right time, as they will limp into next week's game having posted less than 45 points each of the last two weeks.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will collide with DenBro. Zombie Werewolves might need a big game to win that matchup, as DenBro comes into the game fresh off a 92 point performance.

The Brainers are tops in the waiver order, which is good...cause it looks like they might need some help. They got absolutely demolished by Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (8 - 5), losing 69 to 33. Not only did The Brainers lose, but they had their 3rd straight game of scoring fewer points than the week before.

Both squads keep their momentum (or in the case of The Brainers, "momentum") going as a result of this match. The victory makes it four in a row for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. The loss is the 3rd straight for The Brainers.

David Johnson has been the key player throughout Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's winning streak, and came through again this week. Johnson was a one-man wrecking crew, notching 20 points. He hasn't been messing around recently, performing better than any other starter over the last three weeks. That's all in a day's work for the best running back in the league.

The game would have been an even bigger blowout if Coach Robert Wetzel had put Jordan Howard (23 points) in the lineup. No other player riding the pine did better this week.

Meanwhile, the loss for The Brainers came down to a pretty simple factor: they didn't go anywhere. Collectively, they only managed to pick up 178 yards. No other team gained fewer total yards this week. The Brainers can place the blame for this result squarely on Lamar Miller, who gained only 18 total yards.

Next week will see The Brainers taking on the 4 - 9 Homesick Abortions. This game is a rematch, but it might not look the same as week ten, since Homesick Abortions will have Derek Carr available this time around. As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will square off against Pinko Commie Bastards next week.

Coming into the game, Big Tex's Pillow Biters had scored fewer points than any other team during the previous three weeks. Coach William Hayes' squad put up a decent number of points this week though, and that was enough. Big Tex's Pillow Biters skated by Showtime pretty easily, winning 49 to 33.

The defeat is the 3rd in a row for Showtime, and puts their record at 4 - 9. The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 9 - 4.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters, who were favored to win the game, put forth a sub-par effort Sunday. The tag team of Tyrod Taylor and the Redskins Defense/ST was good for all of 8 points between them. This is the first time this year that Taylor has been the worst starter on his team.

While Big Tex's Pillow Biters were playing poorly, Showtime were just dreadful. Dak Prescott was the worst of a five man group of underperformers, scoring 6 points. That ended his six game streak of above-average play.

A solid effort from Doug Martin mitigated the damage somewhat. Martin scored 9 points, which is the most he's gotten this year.

Going into Monday night's game, Showtime were already a long shot to win. After the Jets Defense/ST dropped only 1 point, Showtime was finished.

The schedule for Big Tex's Pillow Biters brings Alcoholnics around next week. That will be a rematch from week six, when Big Tex's Pillow Biters won 51 to 42.

As for Showtime, they will match up with SkinFan. The game will be a rematch from week ten, when Dak Prescott went off for 16 points.

Pinko Commie Bastards had the 3rd best running backs coming into this game, and they came through for Coach Erran Yearty once again. Pinko Commie Bastards used a big game from their running backs to take down SkinFan 70 to 51. Spencer Ware scored 14 points, while LeSean McCoy scored 9. McCoy didn't just show how to run in tight quarters near the line of scrimmage on this play, but also showed how to run in tight quarters 50 yards down the field.

The Patriots Defense/ST helped out as well, exceeding their projected point total by 3.8 points. The Patriots' performance this week ended a three game streak of failing to hit their projections.

Meanwhile, Jonathan Stewart and the Dolphins Defense/ST were double trouble for SkinFan, together delivering only 4 points. Stewart must have gotten tired from racking up 16 points last week. He has now been the worst performer on SkinFan more times than any other player.

Coach Tim Fabrizio certainly can't blame the loss on Stephen Gostkowski, who scored 17 points.

The loss drops SkinFan's record to 5 - 8, while the win brings Pinko Commie Bastards to 9 - 4.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Unfortunately for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will play Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week, who is riding a four-game win streak. One of those teams will face a big comedown from this week, as they both won easily.

Meanwhile, SkinFan will be playing Showtime next week. SkinFan will get to face Showtime while that squad is in the middle of a three game losing streak.

DenBro had lost both matches against Alcoholnics last season, but finally got sweet revenge this week. DenBro left tire tracks on Alcoholnics' back, winning 92 to 51. DenBro didn't just win, but also beat their point projections by more than any other team, earning them the Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award.

DenBro are now 7 - 6 after picking up their first back-to-back wins of the season.

The bulk of DenBro's squad was playing before the end of the Sunday early games, and the early start time suited them real nice. The Broncos Defense/ST took the lead, scoring 16 points, which were the most that any Defense/ST collected this week.

Meanwhile, Coach Nick Claeboe's squad just couldn't quite get it going. Matt Ryan (9 points) was the worst in a group of four marginally underperforming players. Ryan has now underperformed the league average quarterback in three straight games.

DenBro were already a big favorite to win going into the Sunday late games. It was over for good after Melvin Gordon and Michael Crabtree scored 21 points. A terrific performance for DenBro by Andrew Luck on Monday night just put a little bit of salt in Alcoholnics' wounds.

DenBro will be going against Zombie Werewolves next week. This game will be a rematch from week eleven, but this time the Broncos Defense/ST will be available to start.

Meanwhile, Alcoholnics will take on Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. That contest will be a rematch from week six, when Alcoholnics lost 51 to 42.

Alcoholnics got past Big Tex's Pillow Biters with points to spare, winning 64 to 50. The win brings Alcoholnics' record to 9 - 5, while dropping Big Tex's Pillow Biters to a matching 9 - 5.

Alcoholnics were led by the trio of Carlos Hyde, Kai Forbath, and Andy Dalton, who combined for 69% of their team's points. Hyde easily burst into and then through the Jets secondary for this big gain.

Alcoholnics got the win despite leaving Matt Ryan and his 20 points on the bench. Ryan did better than any player actually in Alcoholnics' starting lineup this week.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters suffered from three goose eggs, with Matt Forte, Jimmy Graham, and Terrelle Pryor failing to contribute anything. Forte falling short this week looks even worse in light of the fact that it came against the 49ers, who have been the worst defense against running backs this season.

Doug Baldwin has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 4 fewer points than he was expected to. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Baldwin, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games. As far as good performances for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, The Panthers Defense/ST stuck out with 19 points.

The Brainers gets to go home happy for the first time in four weeks. They ended up on top against Homesick Abortions, winning 37 to 27. The two teams combined for the lowest score this season.

Homesick Abortions are now 4 - 10 after losing four out of their last five games. The win brings The Brainers to 6 - 8.

The Brainers got more than half their points from just two players: Emmanuel Sanders and Lamar Miller. Miller topped 100 yards rushing for the 4th time this season, giving him over 1,000 yards on the season.

Given their low point total, it's not surprising that The Brainers had several underperformers (five to be exact). Russell Wilson was the worst of them, scoring negative 1 point. Wilson has now been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks.

Derek Carr has been clutch for Homesick Abortions this year, but failed to show up this week. Carr loomed large in the loss for Homesick Abortions, posting 2 points.1 His performance this week definitively ended a three game streak of beating the experts' projections. Homesick Abortions has never won when he failed to hit his expected points, going 0 - 4.

Adding to their problems, Homesick Abortions' Defense/ST, the Rams, was the worst at their position this week.

Coach Chris Crowder might have had a little too much fun last week, as he didn't set his team's lineup. He left Theo Riddick in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. He also left two other players in the lineup when he had better options.

That cost his team 5 points, which ultimately didn't matter much this game. This marks the 3rd straight week where he has cost his team points.

With how their recent games have been going, it wouldn't be surprising if Coach Don Zimmerman was caught napping on the sideline. After last week's blowout, they were involved in another no-doubter this week (but lost this time). DenBro got clobbered by Zombie Werewolves, losing 59 to 35. DenBro set their new low mark for the season with those 35 points.

The win was Zombie Werewolves' 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 7 - 7. The loss drops DenBro's record to an identical 7 - 7.

Zombie Werewolves got a nice group performance in the win, as five players beat their positional averages. Taylor Gabriel was the best of the bunch, producing 11 points.1 Zombie Werewolves also got a big effort from Jeremy Hill (5.6 points above expected). Hill continued the trend of opposing players doing Cleveland Cavaliers celebrations in the Browns end zone.

Drew Brees provided the only truly sour note for Zombie Werewolves this week, as he scored -1 points. Brees has now had back-to-back games with no touchdowns and three interceptions.

While Zombie Werewolves had plenty of heroes in the victory, DenBro really lost this game as a team. They were brought down by seven underperformers, the worst of whom was Melvin Gordon (zero points). That made him the worst performer on DenBro for the first time this year. DenBro only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Travis Kelce scoring 5 points.2

DenBro will face off against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 60+ point games. The game will be a rematch from week six, and Coach Zimmerman needs to be concerned about David Johnson, who scored 25 points for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum the last time these two teams met.

Zombie Werewolves' next game will be against Alcoholnics in a rematch from week eight. Zombie Werewolves showed no mercy in the previous matchup, winning 84 to 50. The contest will see Aaron Rodgers taking on Matt Ryan in a battle between the top two quarterbacks in the league.

Showtime's point total had gotten lower and lower for each of the past three weeks. They broke that streak this week, but it didn't matter. Coach Ronnie Rmartz's boys couldn't seal the deal against SkinFan, losing 49 to 45. Showtime blew out SkinFan back in week ten, so the reversal of fortune this week seems fair.

The loss makes it four in a row for Showtime, putting their record at 4 - 10. The win brings SkinFan to 6 - 8.

SkinFan didn't have any huge performances this week, but also didn't have anybody who really dropped the ball. The Dolphins Defense/ST topped the Defense/ST average by 5.2 points to lead the team, while Stephen Gostkowski fell only 4.6 points short of the average K in bringing up the rear. The Dolphins' performance this week stopped their three game streak of not meeting their projections.

Larry Fitzgerald said before this week that he didn't think he could catch Tony Gonzalez in career receptions. If this week's production was any indication, he was right. Showtime lost due to the efforts of some repeat offenders this week. Cairo Santos scored 3 points, Fitzgerald got 0, and the Jets Defense/ST dropped 4.

Dak Prescott falling 7.3 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Prescott's sub-par play predictably has Cowboys fans calling for the return of Romo. The only real legit performance that Showtime got came courtesy of Tyler Eifert, who scored 14 points.

Coach Tim Fabrizio's lineup decisions were critical to this week's success. They left Cam Newton, the Cardinals Defense/ST, and T.J. Yeldon on the bench, starting three different players who were each expected to score less.

Incredibly, each of these decisions ended up being the right call. They netted Coach Fabrizio an extra 16 points, which were the difference in the game. Good decisions are nothing new for Coach Fabrizio, who's been the best game-day coach in the league.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (8 - 6) came into this week's match-up on a four-game win streak, but Pinko Commie Bastards (10 - 4) put an end to that, winning 71 to 61. Pinko Commie Bastards got some retribution on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum for their game in week twelve, when Pinko Commie Bastards went down 65 to 61.

Bad luck for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum in this contest, as they would have won this week against all but one other team. Pinko Commie Bastards not only got the win, but exceeded their expectations by more than any other team this week. That earned Coach Erran Yearty this week's Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award.

In a week that featured plenty of bad quarterback play, Tom Brady stepped up and delivered for Pinko Commie Bastards. Brady was the clear leader on Pinko Commie Bastards this week, dropping 22 points.

Pinko Commie Bastards also got a better-than-expected performance from Odell Beckham, who beat his projections by 4.6 points. Hard to say whether Beckham was more impressive in outrunning the Cowboy's defense or moonwalking in cleats afterwards.

Coach Yearty's squad overcame bad performances from three players: Spencer Ware, Eric Ebron, and the Patriots Defense/ST, who collectively came up with 9 points. Coach Yearty has to be used to bad scores from Ware, who has been the worst performer on Pinko Commie Bastards more times than any other player.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had plenty of duds in the loss. Dez Bryant was the worst of a five man group of underperformers, scoring -2 points. That's the fewest points that he's scored this year.

The three overperformers on Coach Robert Wetzel's squad did their part to balance things out (and then some). Le'Veon Bell was the best of them, scoring 32 points. Bell set the new high mark for all running backs this season with that performance.

On top of the loss, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had some bad timing on the general manager front. Coach Wetzel placed the Packers Defense/ST on the waiver pile this week, only to see them score 19 points.

Coming into the game, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had scored the second most points of any team over the last three weeks, and they kept that momentum going. Coach Robert Wetzel's team took down DenBro handily, winning 65 to 52. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's point total was tops in the league this week, which gives them the extra bragging rights of earning the Tullamore D.E.W. Irish Whiskey 'True Character' award for the week.

DenBro will finish their season at 7 - 8. The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 9 - 6.

This was a marquee matchup between the league's top two running backs, David Johnson and Ezekiel Elliott, who did not disappoint. Johnson did great for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, delivering 16 points. A good performance by Johnson has been crucial for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum all year, as they have gone 8 - 1 when he exceeds expectations, and 1 - 4 when he doesn't.

Meanwhile Elliott kept pace with a 14 point effort for Coach Don Zimmerman. Elliott really got into the holiday giving season- racking up fantasy points on this touchdown and promptly jumping into the oversized Salvation Army collection jar.

While both stars produced, only Johnson got any help. The non-Johnson portion of Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's lineup put up 49 points. Of that crew, Nick Novak led the way with 15 points.

A perfect lineup would have given Coach Zimmerman a win in this one. They started the Broncos Defense/ST and Brandon McManus instead of the Giants Defense/ST and Steven Hauschka, despite expert advice to do the exact opposite.

These decisions took a 11 point chunk out of DenBro's final score. If Coach Zimmerman had left the Broncos and McManus on the bench and also started Andrew Luck, DenBro would have won the game.

Losing a close game is tough. Losing a close playoff game is brutal. Alcoholnics came up a little short versus Zombie Werewolves, losing 54 to 51. The loss is more of the same for Alcoholnics, who dropped the last game with Zombie Werewolves by the score of 84 to 50.

With the loss, Alcoholnics will close the season at 9 - 6. The win gets Zombie Werewolves back above .500 at 8 - 7.

Zombie Werewolves had several players step up in the win, as five starters beat their positional averages. Taylor Gabriel was the first among equals, dropping 9 points.1 Matt Bryant helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 3.8 points. Bryant's 14 point performance is no surprise, as he is currently the 2nd best kicker in the league.

Zombie Werewolves would have won by a more comfortable margin if Zombie Werewolves had Drew Brees and his 26 points in the starting lineup. Brees' performance this week was better than every other bench-rider in the league.

Two players stood out for their poor performance on Alcoholnics, with the Vikings Defense/ST and Carlos Hyde combining to score only 1 point. The Vikings scored zero points, which were fewer than every other Defense/ST this week.

In the loss, Alcoholnics had three solid performers, with Matt Ryan, Cameron Brate, and Tyreek Hill notching 34 points. That makes it seven straight games where Ryan has outperformed the league average quarterback.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had never lost when Dez Bryant overperformed his expectations, and that held true again this week. Bryant led the way as Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum ended up well ahead of Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 77 to 62. Those 20 points represent the most he's had this year. Bryant was completely interferred with on this play, but went ahead and made a spectacular catch anyway.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got a good performance from Le'Veon Bell, who scored 18 points. Bell's performance was all the more impressive given that it came against the Ravens, who have been the 3rd best defense against running backs this season.

Sebastian Janikowski was expected to be the best K this week, but ended up being the worst. Devonta Freeman and Janikowski both posted identical 3 point marks for Big Tex's Pillow Biters this week. Janikowski's performance ended a three game streak of beating the experts' projections.

The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to 10 - 6, while dropping Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 9 - 6.

Next week, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will be playing Pinko Commie Bastards. Bad timing for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, as Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the matchup on a three game winning streak. These two teams squared off in week fourteen, when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum lost 71 to 61.

Pinko Commie Bastards started week sixteen with the best record in the league, and finished week sixteen with the best record in the league. They made it look easy against Zombie Werewolves, winning 75 to 55. The win is more of the same for Pinko Commie Bastards, who won the last game with Zombie Werewolves by the similarly triumphant score of 102 to 36.

Pinko Commie Bastards have now finished off three straight opponents after this win, giving them a record of 11 - 4. The loss brings the season to an end for Zombie Werewolves, who finishes at 8 - 8.

Pinko Commie Bastards have been relying on Tom Brady all year, and he came through again this week. Pinko Commie Bastards got good efforts from almost everyone on the squad, with six players topping their positional averages. Brady was just a bit ahead of the others, delivering 19 points. Quite an improvement from last week, when he managed only 3 points.

Pinko Commie Bastards also got a better-than-expected performance from the Patriots Defense/ST, who beat their projections by 6.4 points. The Patriots' 16 points were the most of any Defense/ST this week. Although Coach Erran Yearty got the win, he cannot have been happy with Thomas Rawls's performance this week. Rawls failed to show up, scoring zero points.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves had two players bring nothing to the table, with Jeremy Hill and Taylor Gabriel both producing big fat 0's. Hill's performance this week broke his three game streak of surpassing his projections.

Coach Patrick jolle's lineup moves played a huge part in Zombie Werewolves' loss. They went with Drew Brees, Gabriel, and Dwayne Allen over three more highly ranked players.

Somehow, each of these decisions ended up being the wrong call. They cost Zombie Werewolves a total of 26 points, which cost them the game. Coach Jolle has been outsmarted by the experts more than any other coach in the league this season, having cost their team 61 points.

Pinko Commie Bastards' next game will be against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum in a rematch from week fourteen. Pinko Commie Bastards won the previous matchup 71 to 61. Coach Yearty will no doubt be worried that Le'Veon Bell will drop another 32 points for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum like he did last time.