Homesick Abortions

Team Story

Homesick Abortions read like a scarred champion whose hardware matters more than the ledger in the GNG archive. Chris Crowder carries a 133-166 mark across 20 CBS seasons, with 1 championship, a best finish of 1st, and an average finish still under review. The league titles came in 2013, which gives the record its center of gravity. Division crowns in 2011 show the other half of the job: surviving the East Side or West Side before the Fantasy Bowl ever arrived.

The best regular-season shapes are 2011 (11-4, 1,218.0 points), 2009 (10-5, 1,000.0 points), 2013 (11-6, 1,105.0 points). The scoring peak came in 2025 with 1,251.0 points, the season where the roster had its loudest weekly punch. The finish line says the high-water mark was 1st in 2013.

The Fantasy Bowl trail is where the page gets its edge: 2010 against The Brainers, won by The Brainers (Homesick Abortions 60, The Brainers 91), 2013 against Pinko Commie Bastards, won by Homesick Abortions (Homesick Abortions 75, Pinko Commie Bastards 61). Those games are the difference between a tidy standings profile and the kind of story managers still remember when bracket week comes back around.

The CBS Year in Review material adds texture that the tables cannot carry by themselves. 2024: Homesick Abortions wound up at 4 - 11, good for the worst record in the league. 2022: The Brainers finished off 2022 with a 71 to 45 victory over Homesick Abortions, giving them a 10 - 7 final record.

The game recaps sharpen the identity with specific collisions: 2025 Week 15, One Sided Affair: Zombie Werewolves 102, Homesick Abortions 54.5, 2025 Week 14, Demolition Derby: Homesick Abortions 55.5, Alcoholnics 122, 2025 Week 13, Climb Aboard: Pinko Commie Bastards 70.5, Homesick Abortions 72.5. That is where the franchise stops being an archive row and becomes a sequence of Sundays, close calls, and bad matchups.

The message board gives the franchise a voice too: Draft Order WITHOUT Superbowl next year. by Big Tex's Pillow Biters - William Hayes drew 2 comments, Poppa needs a new pair of shoes. by Homesick Abortions - Chris Crowder drew 2 comments. Those posts are not decoration, they are the record of how the league talked while these seasons were still alive.

The most repeated collision is Big Tex's Pillow Biters, a series sitting at 17-27 with a current L3 streak. Rivalry weight matters in this league because division paths are not decorative. They decide byes, playoff access, and which grudges keep getting refreshed.

draft context includes Ashton Jeanty in 2025, Kenneth Walker III in 2025, Xavier Worthy in 2025; 5 keeper records or candidates still give the roster history something to review. For Homesick Abortions, the roster story is part of the franchise story because the keeper era made every August decision echo into December.