2023

We projected DenBro to be near the back of the pack this season when it comes to wide receivers, but they've started off just the opposite. DenBro used sticky hands to power themselves to a 71 to 48 victory over Homesick Abortions. Tyreek Hill scored 22 points, while DK Metcalf scored 8. The Cheetah's 22 points were the most that any wide receiver collected this week.

DenBro also got a big effort from Aaron Jones (12.8 points above expected). Despite leaving the game in the third quarter (with a hamstring injury), Jones still finished Week 1 with 127 yards from scrimmage and two touchdowns.

Meanwhile, Coach Chris Crowder will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. Homesick Abortions had five underperformers, with Brandin Cooks (1 point) being the worst. A key injury will make this loss for Homesick Abortions sting even more. After only four plays with his new team in New York, Aaron Rodgers suffered a season (and possibly career) ending complete Achilles tear.

DenBro will be going against The Brainers next week. As for Homesick Abortions, they will match up with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Coach Todd Marquis wasted no time making their presence felt as a new manager in this league. Jerrays Jerryatricians made it look easy against Zombie Werewolves, winning 69 to 43.

The Cowboys Defense/ST was the key contributor for Jerrays Jerryatricians, posting 31 points. No other Defense/ST scored more points than that this week. They also overperformed their expectations by more than any other player.

Jerrays Jerryatricians only had one underperfoming player, with Deebo Samuel scoring only 2 points.1

Meanwhile, Joe Burrow stuck out as the worst performer for Zombie Werewolves, producing only 1 point.2 Burrow's performance wasn't exactly what Coach Patrick jolle were looking for when they drafted Burrow in the first round. Burrow failed to crack the 100-yard mark on Sunday, a worrying start for the highest paid player in NFL history.

Zombie Werewolves also had to deal with a poor effort from George Kittle (4.4 points below expected).

Next week will see Zombie Werewolves taking on the 0 - 1 Alcoholniks. Both Zombie Werewolves and Alcoholniks were favored to win this week and lost, so maybe they'll each hope to be the underdog next week. Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians will be playing Pinko Commie Bastards.

The Brainers were able to grind out a solid victory this week against Pinko Commie Bastards, winning by a score of 48 to 39.

The Brainers were led by the trio of Austin Ekeler, DeVonta Smith, and the Saints Defense/ST, who combined for 67% of their team's points. Ekeler rushed for 117 yards and a score on Sunday, but the impressive outing now has him listed as questionable with an ankle injury.

The Brainers would have won by a more comfortable margin if Coach Chuck Rittenhouse had put Tua Tagovailoa (20 points) in the lineup. Tagovailoa did better than any player actually in The Brainers' starting lineup this week.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards had many underperformers, but the Seahawks Defense/ST stood out, putting up zero points. That was the fewest of any Defense/ST this week. Pinko Commie Bastards also had to deal with a bad performance from Najee Harris, who scored only 1 point.

Coach Erran Yearty certainly can't blame the loss on Christian McCaffrey, who scored 14 points.

Both teams have a tough upcoming schedule. The schedule for The Brainers brings DenBro around next week. Coach Don Zimmerman's team had a huge week, posting 71 points.

As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will square off against Jerrays Jerryatricians. Jerrays Jerryatricians will bring the league's top player this week, the Cowboys Defense/ST, into the game.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters have owned Alcoholniks in the past to the tune of a 21 and 6 record, and went ahead and added to that ledger of dominance this week. They wound up with a solid victory margin against Alcoholniks, winning 60 to 50.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters won with a balanced effort, as four players outperformed their positional averages. Tony Pollard was the best of the bunch, racking up 15 points.1 Tyler Bass helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 6 points.

Lamar Jackson loomed large in the loss for Alcoholniks, recording zero points. Jackson fell farther short of his expected points than any other player this week. Despite promises of a more pass-heavy approach this season, he was limited through the air on Sunday, completing just 17 passes for 169 yards and no touchdowns.

Next week will see Big Tex's Pillow Biters taking on the 0 - 1 Space Lords. Space Lords not only lost this week, but scored fewer points than any other team. Meanwhile, Alcoholniks will collide with Zombie Werewolves.

In a week that featured three blowouts, this was the biggest. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum demolished Space Lords, winning 52 to 21. No big surprise seeing Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum get the win, as they were the biggest favorite of any team this week.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum did a decent job during Sunday's main action. Pat Freiermuth led the charge, scoring 6 points.

Meanwhile, Space Lords decided the whole 'scoring points' thing was passe. Tee Higgins was the worst of a four man group of underperformers, scoring exactly zero points. Higgins failed to work out a contract extension with Cincinnati before the season, a fact he's probably regretting even more after missing all eight of his targets on Sunday.

Space Lords also had to deal with a poor effort from Dameon Pierce (4.2 points below expected).

Going into Sunday night's game, Space Lords were already a long shot to win. After Dak Prescott dropped only 2 points, the game was over. Next week, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on the 0 - 1 Homesick Abortions.

Meanwhile, Space Lords will take on Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters didn't have too much trouble with Space Lords this week, winning 89 to 72. The 89 points Big Tex's Pillow Biters scored set the high mark for the league this week. The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 2 - 0, while dropping Space Lords to 0 - 2.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters were led by the tag team of the Steelers Defense/ST and Keenan Allen, who together produced 41 points. The Steelers overperformed their expectations by more than any other player. Their performance was also the 2nd best of any player this week.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters also got a better-than-expected performance from Justin Herbert, who beat his projections by 6.5 points. Herbert kept a level head even in the most tense moments: after almost losing the ball in the red zone on 4th down, he recovered and fired off this TD pass. Although Coach William Hayes got the win, he cannot have been happy with Alexander Mattison's performance this week. Mattison failed to show up, scoring -1 points.

Meanwhile, Coach Brad Householder can blame the loss on Joe Mixon, DeAndre Hopkins, and David Njoku, who together scored only 5 points. In most other games, Space Lords' five overperforming players (led by Tee Higgins, 16 points) would have brought home a win. Apparently, Higgins must have felt bad after last week's 0 point effort.

Next week, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will take on the 1 - 1 Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Meanwhile, Space Lords will be playing DenBro.

Alcoholniks didn't have too many spare points in their win against Zombie Werewolves, taking this one 48 to 44. The win brings Alcoholniks back to even at 1 - 1. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves' record to 0 - 2.

Alcoholniks got a nice group performance in the win, as four players beat their positional averages. Lamar Jackson was the first among equals, racking up 16 points. There were four underperformers keeping Alcoholniks from a proper victory, with the 49ers Defense/ST (5 points) being the worst of them.1

Meanwhile, it will be difficult for Coach Patrick jolle to fault any one player for the loss. Zombie Werewolves had five underperformers, with the Ravens Defense/ST (3 points) being the worst.2 Stefon Diggs falling 5.2 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either.

Next week will see Alcoholniks taking on the 0 - 2 Pinko Commie Bastards. Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will collide with Homesick Abortions.

By a score of 67 to 55, Jerrays Jerryatricians walked away victorious over Pinko Commie Bastards. The win brings Jerrays Jerryatricians' record to 2 - 0, while dropping Pinko Commie Bastards to 0 - 2.

Three players (Mike Evans, Kenneth Walker III, and the Cowboys Defense/ST) delivered victory to Jerrays Jerryatricians, getting 43 of their team's 67 points. Narrowing Evans' dominant outing into just one play was difficult, but his most impressive was probably this 70-yard catch and run.

Jerrays Jerryatricians got the win despite leaving Raheem Mostert and his 18 points on the bench. Mostert did better than any player actually in Jerrays Jerryatricians' starting lineup this week.

Meanwhile, this week's loss for Pinko Commie Bastards was a true group effort. They were brought down by five underperformers, the worst of whom was Ja'Marr Chase (1 point).1

Pinko Commie Bastards will be going against Alcoholniks next week. Alcoholniks will come into next week having failed to break the 50 point mark yet. As for Jerrays Jerryatricians, they will square off against The Brainers.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse has to be kicking himself for his lineup decisions this week. He started three players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. One of those picks, Cameron Dicker, worked out. The other picks, the Saints Defense/ST and Chris Godwin, did not.

While these moves were somewhat defensible, they cost The Brainers a total of 11 points, which ended up costing them the game, as The Brainers (1 - 1) got beat by DenBro (2 - 0), 77 to 71.

Brian Robinson Jr. separated himself from the rest of the crew on DenBro, notching 20 points. That was the most that any running back collected this week. He exploded with 129 total yards on Sunday, a feat made easier thanks to unstoppable plays like this.

DenBro also got a good performance from Josh Allen, who scored 20 points. Quite an improvement from last week, when Allen managed only 2 points.

Meanwhile, Coach Rittenhouse will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. Jahmyr Gibbs was the worst of a four man group of underperformers on The Brainers, posting only 1 point. The four overperformers on Coach Rittenhouse's squad did their part to balance things out (and then some). T.J. Hockenson was the best of them, scoring 15 points.1 That performance was good for 4th place among all players this week.2

Next week, The Brainers will be playing Jerrays Jerryatricians. As for DenBro, they will match up with Space Lords.

It wasn't too close for comfort, but it was still pretty close, as Homesick Abortions beat Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum 48 to 44. The game evens up both teams' records at 1 - 1.

Homesick Abortions relied heavily on Brandon Aubrey, who delivered 18 points. Aubrey topped all kickers this week with that performance.

Given their low point total, it's not surprising that Homesick Abortions had several underperformers (six to be exact). The Texans Defense/ST was the worst of them, scoring exactly zero points. That performance was worse than every other player this week.1

Meanwhile, while balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this week. Patrick Mahomes paced the team by beating the average quarterback by 3.7 points, while A.J. Dillon (4.5 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team.

Coach Chris Crowder might have gotten the victory this week, but it wasn't due to his efforts. He started Bryce Young instead of Kirk Cousins, despite the experts' prediction that Cousins should have played.

This terrible decision cost Homesick Abortions a total of 17 points, which--thankfully for Coach Crowder--didn't matter much this game. However, it did make Coach Crowder the worst performing gameday coach this week.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Homesick Abortions will face off against Zombie Werewolves next week. Zombie Werewolves have scored the fewest points so far this year.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will have long odds to win if Big Tex's Pillow Biters scores another 89 points, like they did this week.

The Brainers are tops in the waiver order, which is good...cause it looks like they might need some help. They could not make it much of a game, losing to Jerrays Jerryatricians 58 to 44.

Jerrays Jerryatricians have now won three games in a row, which brings their record to 3 - 0. The loss drops The Brainers' record to 1 - 2.

Kenneth Walker III was the clear leader on Jerrays Jerryatricians this week, totaling 18 points. Defenders just couldn't get a grip on Walker III, who visited the end zone twice on 97 rushing yards (his 59 receiving yards were also a career high).

Jerrays Jerryatricians would have won by a more comfortable margin if Jerrays Jerryatricians had Raheem Mostert and his 31 points in the starting lineup. Mostert's performance this week was better than every other bench-rider in the league.

Meanwhile, The Brainers really lost this game as a team. They had six underperformers, with DeVonta Smith (1 point) being the worst. The Brainers were also hurt by the 3rd straight game that Jahmyr Gibbs has failed to exceed his expected points. The Brainers only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Miles Sanders scoring 8 points.1

Next week, The Brainers will take on Zombie Werewolves, who have scored the fewest points so far this year. Zombie Werewolves will also come into the game looking for their first win. As for Jerrays Jerryatricians, they will square off against Alcoholniks.

Space Lords earned a pretty comfortable victory over DenBro, winning 72 to 54. The win brings Space Lords' record to 1 - 2, while dropping DenBro to 2 - 1.

The Bills Defense/ST was the key contributor for Space Lords, recording 30 points. That was the most of any Defense/ST this week. They also overperformed their expectations by more than any other player.

Space Lords also got the benefit of the 3rd straight game that Tutu Atwell exceeded his expectations. It was, unfortunately, a costly win for Space Lords. Mike Williams had a fantastic game on Sunday (121 receiving yards and a TD), but it'll be his last this season: an MRI on Monday revealed a torn ACL.

Meanwhile, The Commanders Defense/ST was the main culprit in DenBro's loss, managing only 2 points.1 The only real legit performance that DenBro got came courtesy of Tyreek Hill, who scored 14 points.2 The Cheetah was left wide open in the backfield on Sunday, allowing him to easily score the Dolphins's first TD (of many).

There are sure to be fireworks next week in DenBro's game, as they take on Big Tex's Pillow Biters in a battle between the two highest scoring teams in the league. The matchup will also feature the two top WR's in the league, as Hill meets up with Keenan Allen. Meanwhile, Space Lords will collide with Homesick Abortions next week.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters took on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum two times last year and won each time. The result this week then, was not surprising. Big Tex's Pillow Biters perfectly destroyed Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 105 to 51. With the win and those 105 points, Big Tex's Pillow Biters now sits at the top of every component in the CBS power rankings.

The victory makes it three in a row for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, bringing their record to 3 - 0. The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to 1 - 2.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters had all (well, most) hands on deck in this win, with six players beating their positional averages. Davante Adams was just a bit ahead of the others, producing 20 points.1 No other wide receiver scored more points than that this week. Despite almost missing the game with a concussion, he exploded for two scores and 172 yards on Sunday.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters also got a big effort from Justin Herbert (7.7 points above expected). Herbert has now exceeded his points expectations in every game so far this year. Alexander Mattison was the only underperforming player, scoring 5 points.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of chefs cooking up this week's loss for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Breece Hall was the worst of a six man group of underperformers, putting up zero points. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum did get a couple of good, but ultimately futile, efforts from Patrick Mahomes and Pat Freiermuth, who came up with a total of 29 points.

Coach William Hayes did his part in the victory, setting a perfect lineup. That took more than just following the experts' advice. He went with Tyler Bass over the higher ranked Riley Patterson.

This decision netted Coach Hayes an extra 7 points, which only added to Big Tex's Pillow Biters' domination. With the 7 points he added to his team's total today, Coach Hayes is now the best game-day coach in the league, passing Coach Todd Marquis.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. The West Side division lead will be at stake when Big Tex's Pillow Biters takes on DenBro. The scoreboard operator might be kept busy in that one, as those are the two highest scoring teams in the league.

As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will match up with Pinko Commie Bastards. Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the game looking for their first win.

It's looking like we were far too generous when evaluating Pinko Commie Bastards' prospects this season. They just didn't have enough against Alcoholniks, losing 58 to 55. Pinko Commie Bastards have now failed to hit the league average point total in three straight games.

The loss drops Pinko Commie Bastards to 0 - 3, well short of where we expected the team with the 2nd best draft to be at this point of the season. The win brings Alcoholniks to 2 - 1.

Alcoholniks were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. Lamar Jackson topped the quarterback average by 6.8 points to lead the team, while the 49ers Defense/ST fell only 2.2 points short of the average D/ST in bringing up the rear. Jackson solidified his reputation as an escape artist on Sunday, somehow escaping three defenders for this 18 yard gain.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards had plenty of duds in the loss. They were brought down by four underperformers, the worst of whom was Nico Collins (1 point).1

On the coaching front, the difference in tactical skill showed this week. Coach Erran Yearty could have won this game with the right lineup. He left Kyle Pitts and Garrett Wilson on the bench in favor of Hunter Henry and Collins, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions shaved 3 points from Pinko Commie Bastards' score. If Coach Yearty had left Henry and Collins on the bench and also started Najee Harris, Pinko Commie Bastards would have won the game.

Coach Nick Claeboe can pat himself on the back for this week's victory. He started D'Andre Swift and Darren Waller instead of Gus Edwards and Taysom Hill, despite expert advice to do the exact opposite.

These decisions boosted Alcoholniks' final score by 5 points, which were the difference in the game. The good decision is just more of the same for Coach Claeboe, whose gameday decisions have been some of the best in the league this season.

The schedule for Alcoholniks brings Jerrays Jerryatricians around next week. Jerrays Jerryatricians will come into the game undefeated. Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will take on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

This game was expected to be close. Homesick Abortions found those expectations insulting. They crushed Zombie Werewolves, winning 72 to 39.

The loss makes it three in a row for Zombie Werewolves, which gives them a 0 - 3 record. The win brings Homesick Abortions to 2 - 1.

Kirk Cousins and Justin Jefferson were the key contributors, racking up 21 and 14 points, respectively. Huge passes like this led Cousins to 367 passing yards on Sunday.

Homesick Abortions won despite bad games from Calvin Ridley, Josh Jacobs, and Dalton Kincaid, who together scored 5 points. Jacobs has now failed to hit his expected points in any game so far this year.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves were having trouble reaching paydirt, getting into the end zone only one time. That was the lowest TDs total of any team this week. Zombie Werewolves suffered from five zeros in that category, one of which came from Tyler Allgeier, who wasn't better in other stat categories.

Next week will see Homesick Abortions taking on the 1 - 2 Space Lords. Space Lords will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 70+ point games. That might mean that Homesick Abortions will be an underdog for the third straight time. Not that Coach Chris Crowder should let that bother him, given his record in the last two games. Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will be playing The Brainers next week.

Space Lords came up with a truckload of points last week. This week...not so much. They lost to Homesick Abortions, 53 to 41.

The win makes it three in a row for Homesick Abortions, giving them a record of 3 - 1. The loss drops Space Lords' record to 1 - 3.

Homesick Abortions had three players lead the way, with Justin Jefferson, Josh Jacobs, and Calvin Ridley dropping 35 points.

Meanwhile, Space Lords suffered from three goose eggs, with Tee Higgins, Donald Parham Jr., and Nathaniel Dell failing to contribute anything. Dell might be heading back to the waiver wire after getting picked up before this game.

Space Lords did get some solace this week in the form of Jake Elliott, who came up with 18 points. Elliott was a perfect 4-for-4 on Sunday, which included this 54-yard walk-off kick in overtime.

Although his team won, Coach Chris Crowder didn't have the best game personally. He left Brandon Aubrey and Zach Ertz on the bench in favor of Jason Sanders and Dalton Kincaid, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions cost Homesick Abortions a total of 11 points. Having cost his team 27 points total, Coach Crowder is the worst game-day coach in the league so far this season.

Losing to a good team better not become a pattern for Space Lords, as its next three games are also against winning teams, starting with Jerrays Jerryatricians next week. Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will take on Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

'The thrill is gone'--at least when it comes to Zombie Werewolves' recent games. After last week's blowout, they were involved in another no-doubter this week. Zombie Werewolves destroyed The Brainers, winning 70 to 48. The 70 points that Zombie Werewolves dropped were the most they scored so far this year.

Zombie Werewolves got off the schneid with this win. They now sit at 1 - 3. The defeat puts The Brainers on a three game losing streak, dropping their record to 1 - 3.

Stefon Diggs separated himself from the rest of the crew on Zombie Werewolves, delivering 25 points. Diggsy topped all wide receivers this week with that performance.

In addition to Diggs, Zombie Werewolves also got nice games from Derrick Henry and the Jaguars Defense/ST. Henry proved he can do it all on Wednesday: he tossed this passing score, cut through the defense on the ground, and caught his one target.

The only real bad apple in Zombie Werewolves' orchard this week was Joe Burrow, who scored 1 point. Burrow struggled again on Sunday, failing to throw a touchdown just like last week (at least he didn't throw a pick this time).

Meanwhile, The Brainers saw six different players underperform, and while none of them particularly stuck out, The Saints Defense/ST and their 3 points were officially the worst.1

Zombie Werewolves will be going against Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Pinko Commie Bastards will enter the game with Christian McCaffrey, who has been the best player in the league so far. The Brainers might really want to have this week's loss to an easy opponent back. They now have to take on back-to-back teams with winning records, beginning with Alcoholniks next week.

After yet another victory, we here at Fantasy Journalist now officially apologize to Coach Nick Claeboe for our disapproving draft report. In the only close game this week, Alcoholniks just barely got past Jerrays Jerryatricians, winning 72 to 70. With the win, Alcoholniks put an end to Jerrays Jerryatricians' three-game win streak.

The win brings Alcoholniks to 3 - 1, a far cry from where we expected after we pegged them as the worst team coming out of the draft. The loss is the first of the season for Jerrays Jerryatricians, dropping their record to 3 - 1.

Alcoholniks were led by the two man wrecking crew of A.J. Brown and Lamar Jackson, who combined for 63% of Alcoholniks' points. That makes it three straight games of overperforming expectations for Jackson. He proved yet again he's the best escape artist in the business: he ducked defenders for this gain of 36, then scrambled to deliver this 43-yard bomb.

David Montgomery was kept on Alcoholniks' bench in the victory, but he didn't let that discourage him, as he went off for 25 points. No other player riding the pine did better this week.

Meanwhile, Coach Todd Marquis can look to Deebo Samuel and Trevor Lawrence when passing out blame for the loss. The two combined to score only 11 points. Lawrence has now failed to exceed the average quarterback's point total in any week this year.

Jerrays Jerryatricians wound up with their high point total courtesy of four overperformers. The Cowboys Defense/ST scored 24 points to pace the group. That was 22 points better than the Cowboys did last week.

Both teams have good news in the upcoming schedule. Alcoholniks will face off against The Brainers next week. Good timing, as The Brainers will come into the matchup on a three game losing streak.

Although Jerrays Jerryatricians lost this game, on the bright side, Alcoholniks was the hardest test they will face for a while. Their next three games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Space Lords next week.

Coming into the game, DenBro had scored the second most points of any team this season, and they kept that momentum going. Coach Don Zimmerman's squad gave Big Tex's Pillow Biters a 77 to 52 drubbing. The win helped DenBro halt Big Tex's Pillow Biters' three game winning streak.

With the win, DenBro moved to 3 - 1, good for the top spot in the West Side division. The loss was only the first for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, whose record now sits at 3 - 1.

It's not that hard to win when you get the league's top performance for the season, and Josh Allen delivered that performance. Josh Allen teamed up with Mark Andrews to deliver 49 points. After Allen's performance this week, he moved up to being the 2nd best quarterback in the league. He did it all on Sunday: he finished with five total touchdowns; four passing and this 11-yard score on the ground.

Meanwhile, The Steelers Defense/ST was clearly the weakest link for Coach William Hayes and the gang as he dropped zero points. That was the fewest of any Defense/ST this week.

Tony Pollard has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 5.4 fewer points than he was expected to. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Pollard, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Next week, DenBro will be playing Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 40 points this week.

As for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, they will match up with Homesick Abortions. Bad timing for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, as Homesick Abortions will come into the matchup on a three game winning streak.

There were several blowouts this week, but none bigger than this one. Pinko Commie Bastards took everything from Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum but the kitchen sink, winning 84 to 40. Pinko Commie Bastards not only got the win, but posted the 3rd highest scoring game of the year.

The win is the first of the season for Pinko Commie Bastards, making their record 1 - 3. The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 1 - 3, and sinks them to the bottom of our internal power rankings.

Pinko Commie Bastards relied heavily on Christian McCaffrey, who posted 32 points. Run CMC set the new high mark for all running backs this season with that performance.

Kyren Williams helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 11.4 points. Williams scored twice in the first quarter on Sunday, an effort that ultimately led him to career-highs in rushing attempts (25) and yards (103) on Sunday.

The only real damper on Pinko Commie Bastards' victory came from Younghoe Koo, who scored 1 point. That was the 2nd fewest of any kicker this season.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had three stooges, with Patrick Mahomes, the Dolphins Defense/ST, and Chris Olave producing 9 points. Coach Robert Wetzel are still waiting to get one above-average week from Olave. He was almost silent on Sunday, and his one reception and four receiving yards both qualify as career lows.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with D.J. Moore scoring 12 points.

On the coaching front, this game showed how futile efforts can sometimes be. Coach Erran Yearty has made more lineup changes than any other coach in the league, but couldn't find the right mix this week. He went with Younghoe Koo over the higher ranked Wil Lutz.

This decision took a 8 point chunk out of Pinko Commie Bastards' final score, which ultimately didn't make a difference in the final outcome. It did make it back-to-back weeks now where Coach Yearty has cost his team points.

The loss this week certainly wasn't Coach Wetzel's fault. They started James Cook instead of Jaylen Warren, despite the experts' prediction that Warren should have played.

This decision gave Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum a nice 7 point bonus. Coach Wetzel's decisions this week allow them to relinquish their title as the worst gameday coach in the league (Coach Chris Crowder wears the crown now).

Next week, Pinko Commie Bastards will take on the 1 - 3 Zombie Werewolves. One of those teams will face a big comedown from this week, as they both won easily. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's loss is especially bad as it represented the last easy game they will have for a while. The next two games are against winning teams, starting with DenBro next week.

The Saints Defense/ST were probably in Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's doghouse after last week's 3 point 'performance'. They might be let out now. The Saints was the key component as The Brainers demolished Alcoholniks, winning 68 to 41. Their 21 point performance was the most that any Defense/ST collected this week.

DeVonta Smith provided the only truly sour note for The Brainers this week, as he scored zero points. Despite two teammates with 100-yard games, Smith didn't get much attention: he finished with one reception on five targets for five yards.

Lamar Jackson stuck out as the worst performer for Alcoholniks, delivering only 2 points. Jackson's performance this week definitively ended a three game streak of beating the experts' projections.

Alcoholniks also had to deal with a poor effort from Brandon Aiyuk (4 points below expected). Aiyuk has now underperformed the league average wide receiver in three straight games.

The win brings The Brainers' record to 2 - 3, while dropping Alcoholniks to 3 - 2.

The Brainers will try to make it two in a row versus Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. That team is not coming in very hot, after finishing this week with only 38 points. As for Alcoholniks, they will square off against Pinko Commie Bastards. Alcoholniks might need a big game to win that matchup, as Pinko Commie Bastards comes into the game fresh off a 89 point performance.

After last week's blowout, Zombie Werewolves got a big change of pace with this week's tight contest versus Pinko Commie Bastards. The result, happily, was the same. They just slipped by Pinko Commie Bastards, 90 to 89. The 1 point margin that separated these two teams is the smallest gap of the season so far.

The win brings Zombie Werewolves' record to 2 - 3, while dropping Pinko Commie Bastards to 1 - 4.

George Kittle was the clear leader on Zombie Werewolves this week, dropping 21 points.1 No other tight end scored more points than that this week.

Zombie Werewolves also got the benefit of a 25 point performance from Jared Goff. Even without his top target, Goff still turned in an absolute gem on Sunday: four touchdowns (three passing, one rushing) and no turnovers.

Meanwhile, Garrett Wilson and Kyren Williams were quite coordinated in their failures for Pinko Commie Bastards. They each notched only 2 points. Underperforming is the new normal for Wilson, who has gone three straight games without hitting his projected point total.

The four overperformers on Coach Erran Yearty's squad did their part to balance things out (and then some). Ja'Marr Chase was the best of them, scoring 28 points.2 That was good for 2nd place among all players this week.

It was important for Zombie Werewolves to get the victory, as Pinko Commie Bastards will be the easiest game they will face for a while. The next three games are against winning teams, starting with Jerrays Jerryatricians next week. That game will see both of this week's top tight ends square off, when George Kittle matches up against Sam LaPorta. As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will match up with Alcoholniks next week.

Coach Robert Wetzel really needed someone to lend them a hand and help end their three game losing streak. Coach Don Zimmerman were only too happy to help. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (2 - 3) stomped all over DenBro (3 - 2) 79 to 53. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum has been involved in three straight blowout games, while this is the 2nd straight blowout game for DenBro.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum set their new high mark for the season with their 79 points. On the other side of things, DenBro were setting their personal low score mark for the year.

It's not that hard to win when you have the league's top performer for the week, and D.J. Moore was that player. Moore was a one-man wrecking crew, tallying 30 points. He had a career-day on Sunday with three touchdowns scored off an incredible 230 receiving yards (a TNF record).

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got a better-than-expected performance from Breece Hall, who beat his projections by 10.8 points. Hall's performance this week ended a three game streak of failing to hit his projections. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum overcame bad performances from three players: Romeo Doubs, James Cook, and Tyler Higbee, who collectively came up with 2 points.

Meanwhile, Coach Zimmerman will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. The Commanders Defense/ST was the worst of a five man group of underperformers on DenBro, producing only 3 points.1 This is the 2nd time this year that they were the worst starter on their team.

Coach Wetzel should hope that the victory over a quality opponent like DenBro establishes a pattern, as their next game is against Homesick Abortions, who have pulverized the league so far. Homesick Abortions comes into the match on a four game winning streak.

Meanwhile, DenBro will be playing Space Lords. That contest will be a rematch from week three, when DenBro lost 72 to 54.

Coach Todd Marquis tried to second guess the experts this week when setting their lineup, and the result was very costly. They went with the Cowboys Defense/ST and Bijan Robinson over the higher ranked the Packers Defense/ST and Raheem Mostert.

These decisions shaved 8 points from Jerrays Jerryatricians' score and cost them the game, as they couldn't seal the deal against Space Lords (2 - 3), losing 53 to 48.

Space Lords didn't have any huge performances this week, but also didn't have anybody who really dropped the ball. Jake Elliott paced the team by beating the average kicker by 3.1 points, while Nathaniel Dell (5 points worse than the average wide receiver) was the worst on the team. Elliott's 11 point performance is no surprise, as he is currently the 5th best player in the league. He has also now exceeded his points expectations in every game so far this year.

Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians can place the blame for this loss squarely on Jordan Love, who scored -2 points. That was fewer than every other player this season. Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for Love, who has seen his point total drop in each of the last three weeks.

Love was joined by four other underperformers, including the Cowboys Defense/ST, who scored only 3 points. Despite the loss, Jerrays Jerryatricians had three standouts, with Sam LaPorta, De'Von Achane, and Harrison Butker recording 36 points. New York had no answer to Achane as he was almost untouched on this massive 76-yard score.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. Jerrays Jerryatricians' loss is a bad start to an easy stretch on the schedule. The next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Zombie Werewolves next week. The game will be a rematch from week one, and Coach Marquis will no doubt be hoping that the Cowboys Defense/ST can drop 31 points like he did last time.

Space Lords' next game will be against DenBro in a rematch from week three. Space Lords won the previous matchup 72 to 54. Space Lords will face off against Tyreek Hill in next week's game, part of a three game stretch against tough wide receivers which will see them take on Justin Jefferson and D.J. Moore in the following weeks.

Homesick Abortions came into this match-up riding high on a three game winning streak. Make it four. They strolled past Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 54 to 38.

With the win, Homesick Abortions moved to 4 - 1, good for the top spot in the West Side division. The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 3 - 2.

Homesick Abortions had several players step up in the win, as four starters beat their positional averages. Josh Jacobs was the best of the bunch, dropping 10 points.1 This is the 1st time this year that Jacobs has paced Homesick Abortions.

Coach William Hayes put Anthony Richardson into the Big Tex's Pillow Biters lineup for the first time this week, but Richardson might want to keep his bench warming pants clean. Big Tex's Pillow Biters had many underperformers, but Richardson stood out, notching only 1 point.2 He only threw for 98 yards before being sidelined in the second quarter with a shoulder injury (an injury that'll see him miss “some time”).

Adding to their problems, Big Tex's Pillow Biters' kicker, Tyler Bass, was the worst at his position this week.

Coach Chris Crowder can rest a bit after this big victory since the next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with The Brainers. Big Tex's Pillow Biters have now been the favorite in both their last two games, and failed to perform both times. The experts might not give them the benefit of the doubt in their next one.

It's probably been tough for Coach Don Zimmerman to stay awake while following their recent games. The previous three games were blowouts, and this week's action was no different. DenBro crushed Space Lords, winning 68 to 36 in the only blowout this week. Those 68 points made DenBro the highest scoring team overall this season, wresting the crown from Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

With the win, DenBro moved to 4 - 2, good for the top spot in the West Side division. The loss drops Space Lords' record to 2 - 4.

Tyreek Hill was the key contributor for DenBro, scoring 14 points. That was the most of any wide receiver this week. He made this great catch to put the Dolphins ahead, but his celebration afterward might be even more impressive.

DenBro also got a big effort from Rhamondre Stevenson (4.8 points above expected). Stevenson's performance this week stopped his three game streak of not meeting his projections.

Meanwhile, the loss for Space Lords came down to a pretty simple factor: they didn't go anywhere. Collectively, they only managed to gain 185 yards rushing and receiving. That's the worst result that any team this season has had in the total yards category. Emari Demercado and Jordan Addison were double trouble in that category for Space Lords, together posting only 45 total yards.

The scoreboard operator might be kept busy when DenBro and Big Tex's Pillow Biters, the two highest scoring teams in the league, face off next week. The contest will also see some top shelf TE play, as Mark Andrews meets up with Travis Kelce.

Space Lords' next game will be against Homesick Abortions in a rematch from week four. Space Lords lost the previous matchup 53 to 41. Coach Brad Householder will be keeping their fingers crossed that Jake Elliott will score 18 points like he did when Space Lords last played Homesick Abortions.

Jerrays Jerryatricians had the good fortune of having the league's best player this week in Raheem Mostert. Jerrays Jerryatricians slid by Zombie Werewolves, winning 66 to 62 behind 23 points from Mostert. This was his first venture off the bench, which bodes well for his future playing time. He racked up 132 total yards and three scores on Sunday, with 48 of those yards coming from this unstoppable rush.

Although Coach Todd Marquis got the win, they cannot have been happy with Deebo Samuel's performance this week. Samuel failed to show up, scoring zero points. Coach Marquis have to be used to bad scores from Samuel, who has been the worst performer on Jerrays Jerryatricians more times than any other player.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves didn't have anybody who was too hot, or too cold, but this Goldilocks outcome was not 'just right'. The Jaguars Defense/ST topped the Defense/ST average by 5.1 points to lead the team, while Cole Kmet fell only 3.7 points short of the average TE in bringing up the rear. Kmet's zero points made him the worst starter on his team for the 1st time this season.

The win brings Jerrays Jerryatricians' record to 4 - 2, while dropping Zombie Werewolves to 2 - 4.

Zombie Werewolves' next two games are against winning teams, starting with Alcoholniks next week. Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians will be playing Pinko Commie Bastards.

In a game that couldn't get much closer, Big Tex's Pillow Biters slipped by The Brainers, winning 45 to 44. No team this season has had to suffer a closer loss than the one The Brainers endured this week. The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 4 - 2, while dropping The Brainers to 2 - 4.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters had a three-man strike force with Keenan Allen, Travis Kelce, and Justin Herbert combining for 29 points. That's all in a day's work for Kelce, who is the best tight end in the league. He posted a season-high 124 receiving yards on Thursday, 40 of which came from this wide-open grab.

Over in the loser's circle, The Brainers got a big game from Cooper Kupp. Kupp scored 13 points, which were good for 2nd place among all wide receivers this week. Unfortunately for Coach Rittenhouse, nobody else really stepped up.

The Brainers suffered through poor performances from Puka Nacua, Jaleel McLaughlin, and Austin Ekeler, who collectively managed only 4 points. Nacua's 1 point was the fewest he has scored so far this year.

Coach Rittenhouse has to place a big part of the blame for this loss on himself. He started four players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. Two of those picks, Evan McPherson and the Saints Defense/ST, worked out. The other picks, Jalen Hurts and McLaughlin, did not.

While these moves were somewhat defensible, they cost The Brainers a total of 8 points, which ended up costing them the game. Despite things not working out, expect more risk taking from Coach Rittenhouse, who has gone against the experts more times than any other coach in the league.

It was important for Big Tex's Pillow Biters to get the win over an easy opponent this week, as its next two games are against winning teams, starting with DenBro next week. There are likely to be some fireworks in that one, as it features the two highest scoring teams in the league so far. As for The Brainers, they will square off against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Coach Nick Claeboe has had the most stable lineup in the league, but that consistency wasn't helpful this week. He started Darren Waller and David Montgomery instead of Dalton Schultz and D'Andre Swift, despite expert advice to do the exact opposite.

These decisions took a 13 point chunk out of Alcoholniks' final score, which--thankfully for Coach Claeboe--didn't matter much this game as they got the job done against Pinko Commie Bastards (1 - 5), winning 63 to 57.

Alcoholniks got more than half their points from just two players: Justin Tucker and Travis Etienne. Tucker alone scored 19 points, which topped all kickers this week. He gave London a lesson in how to kick a football American-style, as he was a perfect 6/6 and accounted for three quarters of Baltimore's points.

Alcoholniks would have won by a more comfortable margin if Coach Claeboe had put Dalton Schultz (9 points) in the lineup. Schultz has been making his case to start recently, having scored 26 points over the past three weeks.

Meanwhile, Justin Fields loomed large in the loss for Pinko Commie Bastards, tallying 1 point. That was quite a falloff from last week, when he scored 28 points. Sunday was not a fun day for him: he was (easily) sacked four times before being ruled out with a dislocated thumb.

Younghoe Koo falling 4.9 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. It's yet another disappointing day for Koo, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

Next week will see Alcoholniks taking on the 2 - 4 Zombie Werewolves. Zombie Werewolves have been racking up the points recently, posting three straight 60+ point games. That will be a rematch from week two, when Alcoholniks won 48 to 44.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will take on Jerrays Jerryatricians. Jerrays Jerryatricians will bring the league's top player so far, Raheem Mostert, into the game.

Homesick Abortions came into this week's match-up on a four-game win streak, but Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum put an end to that. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum got past Homesick Abortions, winning 40 to 37. Big time luck for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum in this contest, as they would have lost against all but one other team.

The win evens up Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record at 3 - 3. The loss drops Homesick Abortions' record to 4 - 2.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum relied heavily on Breece Hall, who put up 9 points.1 Hall was responsible for ending Philly's undefeated season on Sunday with this 8-yard run for the win.

Despite winning, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum struggled to score points due to seven underperforming players, of whom D.J. Moore (2 points) was the worst.2 Moore's performance this week broke his four game streak of surpassing his projections.

Meanwhile, there's no pointing fingers in Homesick Abortions' loss as they failed all over the place. They were brought down by seven underperformers, the worst of whom was Kirk Cousins (6 points).3 While he didn't throw a pick, Captain Kirk still had trouble keeping the ball and only passed for 181 yards.

The Eagles Defense/ST have to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 3.9 fewer points than they were expected to. That makes it three straight games where the Eagles have underperformed the league average Defense/ST. Adam Thielen was the only player on the team that didn't underperform, scoring 11 points.

There's a favorable schedule ahead for both teams. It's smooth sailing for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum after taking down Homesick Abortions. Their next two games are against light competition, starting with The Brainers. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will come into the next game having won their last two games. That's a big change from two weeks ago, when they had just finished losing their 3rd game in a row.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will collide with Space Lords. Points were in short supply for that team this week, as they could only scrounge up 36 of them.

Space Lords had gotten terrible production out their wide receivers this season (worst in the league), but this week it was a whole different story. Space Lords used a big game from their wide receivers to take down Homesick Abortions 56 to 51. Jordan Addison scored 19 points, while Jakobi Meyers scored 8. Addison has been taking on #1 wide receiver duties with Justin Jefferson out, but even JJ never pulled off something like this.

Meanwhile, Coach Chris Crowder can blame the loss on Calvin Ridley, Josh Jacobs, and Zach Ertz, who together scored only 1 point. Ridley scored zero points, which were the fewest of any wide receiver this week. He is in the midst of a troubling sequence, having seen his point total fall every week for the last three weeks.

The win brings Space Lords' record to 3 - 4, while dropping Homesick Abortions to 4 - 3.

Both teams face trouble in the upcoming schedule. The schedule for Space Lords brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum around next week. Bad timing for Space Lords, as Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will come into the matchup on a three game winning streak. These two teams squared off in week one, when Space Lords ended up getting crushed by 31 points.

Homesick Abortions has a difficult three game stretch starting next week against Big Tex's Pillow Biters. The game will be a rematch from week five, but Big Tex's Pillow Biters will have Justin Herbert, who had his bye week during the first matchup.

Coach William Hayes might have been looking to rest his nerves a bit after last week's nailbiter. Well, he got the rest, but definitely not the win. Big Tex's Pillow Biters got clobbered by DenBro, losing 73 to 37. Big Tex's Pillow Biters have averaged 41 points during their last two games - not what was expected of them as the highest scoring team going into week six.

The win was DenBro's 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 5 - 2. The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 4 - 3.

DenBro got good efforts from almost everyone on the squad, with six players topping their positional averages. Mark Andrews was the first among equals, putting up 15 points.1 That was the most that any tight end collected this week. No surprise there, as he is currently the 2nd best tight end in the league.

DenBro also got a better-than-expected performance from Josh Allen, who beat his projections by 4.9 points. Despite throwing a pick on his very first pass, Allen was otherwise dominant: he tossed two TDs on 265 yards plus this 1 yard rushing score. DenBro only had one underperfoming player, with Rhamondre Stevenson scoring only 3 points.2

Travis Kelce did his best to give Big Tex's Pillow Biters a chance to win. Kelce scored 14 points, which topped all but one tight end this week. Unfortunately for Coach Hayes, nobody else did much of anything.

Coach Hayes had to be extra disappointed in certain underperformers this week. Otherwise high performing players Justin Herbert and Keenan Allen combined to score 8 points. Herbert's performance ended a five game streak of beating the league average.

Next week will feature a mirror image matchup as the 4 - 3 Big Tex's Pillow Biters will take on the 4 - 3 Homesick Abortions. The game will be a rematch from week five, but Big Tex's Pillow Biters will have Allen available, who had his bye week during the first matchup. Meanwhile, DenBro will be playing Zombie Werewolves next week.

Alcoholniks had never lost when Lamar Jackson overperformed his expectations, and that held true again this week. Jackson led the way as Alcoholniks got past Zombie Werewolves without much trouble, winning 82 to 69. This might just be his greatest escape yet: despite running into his own defender, he circled back and tossed this 12-yard TD.

Alcoholniks also got the 2nd highest running back score this week via Travis Etienne, who dropped 15 points. Although they got the win, Alcoholniks had some bad luck in the personnel department. Deshaun Watson's game on Sunday couldn't have gone much worse: he completed one of five passes for five yards, tossed this pick, then left the game with an injury (possibly related to his shoulder).

Zombie Werewolves are bound to have a hard time winning when Jared Goff has a bad week, and that's just what happened. Goff was clearly the weakest link for Coach Patrick jolle and the gang as he notched 3 points.1 That performance was worse than every other player this week.2 He was truly stumped on Sunday: he failed to throw a touchdown for the first time this season, leaving him with a season-low 68.4 passer rating.

In most other games, Zombie Werewolves' five overperforming players (led by Dustin Hopkins, 22 points) would have brought home a win. Hopkins' 22 points set the new high mark for all kickers this season.

The win brings Alcoholniks' record to 5 - 2, while dropping Zombie Werewolves to 2 - 5.

Alcoholniks and Jerrays Jerryatricians play next week in a battle for the East Side division lead. The game will be a rematch from week four, when Lamar Jackson went off for 24 points.

As for Zombie Werewolves, they will match up with DenBro next week. The contest will see Stefon Diggs taking on Tyreek Hill in a battle between the top two wide receivers in the league.

'We can build on this.' Pinko Commie Bastards, who stumbled into week seven with the worst record in the league, better hope so. They made it look easy against Jerrays Jerryatricians, winning 72 to 44. Pinko Commie Bastards got some measure of revenge on Jerrays Jerryatricians for their matchup back in week two, when Pinko Commie Bastards lost 67 to 55.

The loss was Jerrays Jerryatricians' 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 4 - 3. The win brings Pinko Commie Bastards to 2 - 5.

Coach Erran Yearty picked up the Browns Defense/ST off the waiver wire this week and they paid immediate dividends. The Browns led a very balanced group of five overperformers for Pinko Commie Bastards, posting 17 points. That made them the top performer on Pinko Commie Bastards for the first time this year.

Younghoe Koo helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 7.7 points. Koo's performance this week ended a four game streak of failing to hit his projections. Pinko Commie Bastards overcame poor performances from Brock Purdy and Christian Watson (7 points combined) in getting this win.

Meanwhile, Raheem Mostert and the Raiders Defense/ST were both working off the same playbook this week, producing only 2 points for Jerrays Jerryatricians. Mostert and the Raiders had plenty of company, with Russell Wilson (9 points) being the worst of three other underperformers.

On the coaching front, the gap in coaching ability was on display this week. Coach Yearty followed the experts' advice for each position and ended up with a perfect lineup. This is the first time this year that Coach Yearty has pulled that off.

Coach Todd Marquis seem to have forgotten to set their lineup this week. They left Deebo Samuel in the game, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points.

That cost their team 8 points, which would have helped make the final score slightly less embarrassing. This marks the 5th straight week where they have cost their team points.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Coach Yearty can rest a bit after this big victory since the next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with The Brainers next week. That contest will be a rematch from week one, when Pinko Commie Bastards lost 48 to 39.

Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians will take on Alcoholniks. Alcoholniks will get to start the league's hottest player in Travis Etienne.

Hopefully Coach Rittenhouse has some fingernails left. After last week's close game, he got another dose of touch and go action this week. The Brainers lost a tight one against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, 58 to 56. Losing by only 2 points, The Brainers suffered the closest loss this week.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum have now finished off three straight opponents after this win, bringing their record to 4 - 3. The loss drops The Brainers' record to 2 - 5.

Patrick Mahomes was expected to be the top performing QB this week, and that's exactly what he was. Showtime made it rain for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, recording 27 points. Good performances are nothing new for Mahomes, who has been the top performer on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum more times than any other player. He was back to making the unlikeliest of plays, most notably this improvised 46-yard TD.

The only real damper on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's victory came from Joey Slye, who scored 1 point. Slye has now failed to top the league average kicker in five straight games.

Meanwhile, The Brainers had a very balanced lineup, but it was balanced at too low of a level. Jalen Hurts paced the team by beating the average quarterback by 5.6 points, while Austin Ekeler (4.2 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team.

Although he lost this week, Coach Rittenhouse had a good game on the sidelines. He started three players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. Two of those picks, Puka Nacua and T.J. Hockenson, worked out. The other pick, the Saints Defense/ST, did not.

Overall, these moves gave The Brainers an extra 4 points, which wasn't quite enough. Coach Rittenhouse's decisions this week allow him to relinquish his title as the worst gameday coach in the league (Coach Chris Crowder wears the crown now).

Coach Rittenhouse will put his managerial prowess to work against Pinko Commie Bastards next week. That battle (featuring Christian McCaffrey for Pinko Commie Bastards) will be the first of a three straight games against tough running backs (Raheem Mostert and Travis Etienne are on the schedule in the following weeks). As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will square off against Space Lords next week.

Hopefully Coach Erran Yearty has been able to find excitement in the non-fantasy parts of his life. After last week's blowout, he played in another one this week (but lost this time). Pinko Commie Bastards suffered a huge loss to The Brainers, going down 81 to 59.

Pinko Commie Bastards are now 2 - 6 after losing three out of their last four games. The win brings The Brainers to 3 - 5.

Jalen Hurts was the key contributor for The Brainers, tallying 24 points. Hurts' performance early on Sunday took him from the 4th best quarterback to the 2nd best quarterback in the league.

The Brainers also got a big effort from Jahmyr Gibbs (6.8 points above expected). Gibbs nearly doubled his single-game career high in rushing yards, picking up 152 with a touchdown.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's squad won despite bad games from Cooper Kupp, Puka Nacua, and the Bills Defense/ST, who together totaled 8 points. It's yet another disappointing day for the Bills, who have now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards had many underperformers, but Kenny Pickett stood out, dropping only 1 point. Coach Yearty found out why he was available on the waiver wire this week.

Coach Yearty did better on the sidelines than his team did on the field. He left Ka'imi Fairbairn and Najee Harris on the bench in favor of Younghoe Koo and Rachaad White, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions netted Coach Yearty an extra 13 points, which obviously wasn't close to enough. After his decisions this week, Coach Yearty's lineup moves are now a net-plus for the year.

Coach Yearty will bring that tactical skill to bear against Zombie Werewolves next week. This game is a rematch, but it might not look the same as week five, since Zombie Werewolves will have Dustin Hopkins available this time around. There's no time for The Brainers to celebrate a win over a team like Pinko Commie Bastards, as they face back-to-back tough tests starting next week against Jerrays Jerryatricians.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum blew out Space Lords in week one. This week, Coach Brad Householder got their revenge. Space Lords crushed Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 70 to 46. Space Lords' win ended Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's three game winning streak.

Space Lords improve to 4 - 4 after winning three out of their last four games. The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to a matching 4 - 4.

Dak Prescott was the clear leader on Space Lords this week, recording 24 points. That's the most points that he's scored so far this year. Prescott (finally) had his 2023 breakout game on Sunday: he threw five passes of more than 20 yards and posted 304 passing yards, both season highs.

Coach Householder also helped out their own cause by going against the experts and starting Jake Ferguson, who scored 8 points. Space Lords managed to rise above the bad efforts from Jakobi Meyers and Darrell Henderson Jr. (3 points total). Meyers' performance this week ended a three game streak of beating the experts' projections.

Patrick Mahomes has been clutch for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this year, but failed to show up this week. Showtime stuck out as the worst performer for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, scoring -1 points. He hopefully has some credit left over from last week's 27 point performance. While having the flu might excuse his down performance, it doesn't excuse blindly tossing the ball into traffic.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also had to deal with a poor effort from D.J. Moore (4.6 points below expected). Bad performances are pretty common these days for Moore, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games.

Next week will see Space Lords taking on the 5 - 3 Alcoholniks. Alcoholniks lost this week, and will be looking to avoid their first back-to-back losses.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will get a chance to avenge the largest loss that any team has suffered this season (54 points) when they rematch against Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. That will be a rematch from week three, when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum was run off the field, losing by 54 points.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters were projected to have the most points this week, but fell well short. They got beat by Homesick Abortions, 53 to 45. With those 45 points, Big Tex's Pillow Biters were last in the league for the 2nd straight week.

The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 4 - 4, and sinks them to the bottom of our internal power rankings. The win brings Homesick Abortions to 5 - 3.

Homesick Abortions were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. Brandon Aubrey topped the kicker average by 4.1 points to lead the team, while the Eagles Defense/ST fell only 4.7 points short of the average D/ST in bringing up the rear. Aubrey's performance paced Homesick Abortions for the 2nd time this year. That's all in a day's work for the 3rd best kicker in the league.

Meanwhile, Coach William Hayes will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. Big Tex's Pillow Biters had six underperformers, with Davante Adams (zero points) being the worst. Adams has now been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks.

Tony Pollard falling 5.4 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Underperforming is the new normal for Pollard, who has gone six straight games without hitting his projected point total.

As far as good performances for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, Justin Herbert stuck out with 20 points. Even with a broken finger on his non-throwing hand, Herbert still delivered a 298-yard, three-touchdown gem.

Two 5 - 3 teams will do battle next week when Homesick Abortions takes on DenBro. As for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, they will match up with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Zombie Werewolves exceeded their expectations for four straight weeks coming into this game, did it again, and were rewarded with a victory. They ended up on top against DenBro, winning 71 to 59. The win brings Zombie Werewolves' record to 3 - 5, while dropping DenBro to 5 - 3.

Zombie Werewolves won with a balanced effort, as four players outperformed their positional averages. Alvin Kamara was just a bit ahead of the others, notching 16 points. Jaylen Waddle helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 6.6 points. Waddle posted a season-high 121 receiving yards on Sunday, which is a bit easier when you're left totally undefended.

Zombie Werewolves got the win despite leaving Joe Burrow and his 22 points on the bench. Burrow did better than any player actually in Zombie Werewolves' starting lineup this week.

Meanwhile, this week's loss for DenBro was a true group effort. Rhamondre Stevenson was the worst of a five man group of underperformers, posting only 1 point.

Zombie Werewolves will face off against Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Pinko Commie Bastards will have to play without Christian McCaffrey, who has a bye week. Meanwhile, DenBro will take on Homesick Abortions next week.

Jerrays Jerryatricians had traditionally struggled against Alcoholniks, losing every one of the the 3 games that they've played, but Coach Todd Marquis put those struggles in the rear view mirror this week. Jerrays Jerryatricians earned a nice victory over Alcoholniks, winning 78 to 72. The 78 points that Jerrays Jerryatricians scored were the most they scored this year, just one week after setting their season low.

With the win, they moved to 5 - 3, good for the top spot in the East Side division. The loss drops Alcoholniks' record to an identical 5 - 3.

CeeDee Lamb separated himself from the rest of the crew on Jerrays Jerryatricians, notching 19 points. That performance was good for 3rd place among all players this week.1 He deserves a lot of the credit for the walloping the Cowboys dished out on Sunday: he posted season-bests in targets (14) receiving yards (158) and touchdowns (2).

Jerrays Jerryatricians also got the 2nd highest Defense/ST score this week via the Cowboys, who produced 13 points. Coach Marquis' squad won despite bad games from Kenneth Walker III and Trevor Lawrence, who together put up 12 points. Lawrence has now underperformed the league average quarterback in seven straight games.

Two players stood out for their poor performance on Alcoholniks, with Darren Waller and Lamar Jackson combining to score only 8 points. Waller's zero points made him the worst starter on his team for the 2nd time this season. He was ruled out early in the second quarter with a hamstring injury, meaning he finished the game with a mere four receiving yards.

Coach Nick Claeboe's lineup moves played a huge part in Alcoholniks' loss. He went with D'Andre Swift over the higher ranked Gus Edwards.

This decision cost Alcoholniks a total of 14 points, which cost them the game. The bad decision is more of the same for Coach Claeboe, whose gameday decisions have been some of the worst in the league this season.

Jerrays Jerryatricians' next game will be against The Brainers in a rematch from week three. Jerrays Jerryatricians won the previous matchup 58 to 44. Coach Marquis will no doubt be hoping that Kenneth Walker III can drop 18 points like he did when they last went against The Brainers.

Meanwhile, Alcoholniks will collide with Space Lords next week. Alcoholniks will have to put their running back depth to the test in that one, as Travis Etienne has his bye week.

Pinko Commie Bastards came into this week with the worst record in the league, and finished this week with the worst record in the league. They lost a heartbreaker against Zombie Werewolves, 76 to 75. Bad luck for Pinko Commie Bastards in this contest, as they would have won this week against all but one other team.

The win brings Zombie Werewolves to 4 - 5, and sends them to the top of our internal power rankings. The loss drops Pinko Commie Bastards' record to 2 - 7.

Zombie Werewolves got a nice group performance in the win, as six players beat their positional averages. Cole Kmet was the best of the bunch, tallying 14 points.1 Kmet's performance this week stopped his three game streak of not meeting his projections. Defenders simply weren't a problem for him on Sunday, as can be seen in this incredible TD grab.

Zombie Werewolves also got a better-than-expected performance from Stefon Diggs, who beat his projections by 5.2 points. A good performance by Diggs has been crucial for Zombie Werewolves all year, as they have gone 3 - 2 when he exceeds expectations, and 1 - 3 when he doesn't. Zombie Werewolves did well despite having to deal with George Pickens and Alvin Kamara, who combined to total 3 points.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards can place the blame for this loss squarely on Will Levis, who managed only 3 points.2 That performance was the worst of any player this week.3

Pinko Commie Bastards wound up with their high point total courtesy of four overperformers. The Browns Defense/ST scored 21 points to pace the group. The Browns topped all but three players this week with that performance.4

On top of the loss, Pinko Commie Bastards had some bad timing on the general manager front. Coach Erran Yearty placed Rachaad White on the waiver pile this week, only to see him score 17 points.

Pinko Commie Bastards' loss is especially bad as it represented the last easy game they will have for a while. The next two games are against winning teams, starting with DenBro next week. The scoreboard operator might be kept busy in that one, as those are the two highest scoring teams in the league.

As for Zombie Werewolves, Coach Patrick jolle cannot be happy with how their team has played this season, but they have to be enjoying the recent turnaround, having won the past 2 games. They'll hope to keep that momentum going into next week's matchup with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

With how his recent games have been going, it wouldn't be surprising if Coach Chuck Rittenhouse was caught napping on the sideline. After last week's blowout, he was involved in another run away game. The Brainers (4 - 5) crushed Jerrays Jerryatricians (5 - 4), winning 82 to 39 in the only blowout this week. With those 82 points, The Brainers had the most points in the league for the 2nd straight week.

The 39 points that Jerrays Jerryatricians scored were the fewest they scored this year. Quite a comedown from last week, when Jerrays Jerryatricians scored their highest total. The Brainers were doing even better, setting the high point mark for the week.

The Brainers, who were favored to win the game, had a decent start during the early Sunday games. The Saints Defense/ST led the charge, scoring 14 points.

Meanwhile, Coach Todd Marquis' squad was taking a collective personal day. Kenneth Walker III and Harrison Butker both did poorly, together coming up with only 3 points. Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for Walker III, who has seen his point total drop in each of the last three weeks.

Going into the Sunday late games, The Brainers was a heavy favorite. After Jalen Hurts scored 21 points, The Brainers had themselves a 'W'. A solid performance for The Brainers by Cameron Dicker on Monday night just put a little bit of salt in Jerrays Jerryatricians' wounds.

Coach Rittenhouse's lineup decisions earned his team points last week, and did again this week. He started Dicker instead of Evan McPherson, despite the experts' prediction that McPherson should have played.

This decision boosted The Brainers' final score by 5 points, which just made the final result that much more embarrassing. Going against the experts is par for the course for Coach Rittenhouse, as he has taken more risks than any other coach in the league so far.

The Brainers' next game will be against Alcoholniks in a rematch from week five. The Brainers won the previous matchup in a blowout. Alcoholniks brings in the best player in the league over the past three weeks: Gus Edwards.

Hopefully, there won't be too many bye week players in the lineup next week when Jerrays Jerryatricians takes on Homesick Abortions in a battle between the worst gameday coaches in the league so far. Jerrays Jerryatricians won't have Raheem Mostert available to start in that contest.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum walked away with a nice 55 to 46 win this week against Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won despite having the 4th lowest scoring total in the league this week.

The win gets Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back above .500 at 5 - 4. Another defeat makes it three in a row for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, which leaves them with a 4 - 5 record.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum got three solid performances this week, courtesy of Taysom Hill, Daniel Carlson, and Chris Olave, who together posted 35 points. Hill has now overperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum would have won by a more comfortable margin if Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had C.J. Stroud and his 37 points in the starting lineup. No other player has scored more points than that this season.

Meanwhile, it will be difficult for Coach William Hayes to fault any one player for the loss. Big Tex's Pillow Biters were brought down by six underperformers, the worst of whom was Travis Kelce (zero points). That was the fewest of any tight end this week.

Tony Pollard has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 4.2 fewer points than he was expected to. Pollard has now failed to top the league average running back in seven straight games.

Next week, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will be playing Space Lords. Unfortunately for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, Space Lords are coming into their matchup on a three game winning streak. As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will square off against Zombie Werewolves.

Coming into the game, Homesick Abortions had scored the second fewest points of any team over the last three weeks. True to form, they got weak results this week. Coach Chris Crowder's boys lost to DenBro, 56 to 49. The loss is more of the same for Homesick Abortions, who dropped the last game with DenBro by the score of 71 to 48.

Thanks to the loss, Homesick Abortions have now come out on the losing end of three of their last four games, moving their record to 5 - 4. With the win, DenBro have now won three out of their last four games, bringing their record to 6 - 3.

When Coach Don Zimmerman entertained thoughts of winning this game, they probably didn't include the three players that ended up leading the way. Rhamondre Stevenson scored 13 points, Rashee Rice got 6, and Brian Robinson Jr. dropped 7. Stevenson's 13 point performance made him the top performer on DenBro for the first time this year. He went the distance on this incredible rushing score, which accounted for 64 of his 87 rushing yards.

DenBro also got a big effort from Josh Allen (4.7 points above expected). Allen's 18 point performance is no surprise, as he is currently the 4th best player in the league.

Meanwhile, Bryce Young was the main culprit in Homesick Abortions' loss, scoring only 4 points.1 Bad performances are pretty common these days for Young, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games. He was part of a group of six underperformers, with Adam Thielen (only 1 point) being the worst of the rest.

Josh Jacobs was the only true bright spot for Homesick Abortions this week, scoring 16 points. Jacobs set his high mark for the season with that effort.

Coach Crowder can hardly be blamed for this loss, as he set a perfect lineup this week. That wouldn't have happened if he had just played it safe. He went with Jonathan Taylor and Brandon Aubrey over the higher ranked Isiah Pacheco and Jason Sanders.

These decisions gave Homesick Abortions a nice 11 point bonus. This is the first time all season that Coach Crowder has set a perfect lineup.

Next week will feature a mirror image matchup as the 5 - 4 Homesick Abortions will take on the 5 - 4 Jerrays Jerryatricians. Jerrays Jerryatricians will have to put their running back depth to the test in that one, as De'Von Achane has his bye week.

There are sure to be fireworks in DenBro's game, as they take on Pinko Commie Bastards in a battle between the two highest scoring teams in the league. Pinko Commie Bastards will also enter the game with Christian McCaffrey, who has been the best player in the league so far.

Space Lords got this win with a little bit in reserve, earning a 72 to 65 victory over Alcoholniks. The win is part of a larger trend for Space Lords. In each of the last three weeks they have scored more points than the week before.

The victory makes it three in a row for Space Lords, and gives them a record of 5 - 4. Alcoholniks are now 5 - 4 after suffering their first back-to-back losses of the season.

Space Lords stumbled big time right from the get-go. Darrell Henderson Jr. kept the scoreboard operator relaxed, coming up with exactly zero points.

Meanwhile, Alcoholniks were at least doing decent. They were powered by Gus Edwards, who scored 14 points. Defense-defying plays like this led Edwards to two rushing scores on Sunday.

Going into late Sunday, our projections gave Space Lords only a 10.4% chance of winning. Coach Brad Householder's squad blew those projections out of the water. The Chargers Defense/ST and Dak Prescott scored 26.6 more points than they were expected to, which was enough to give Space Lords an unlikely victory.

Alcoholniks was the hardest test Space Lords will face for a while, as its next three games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. The game will be a rematch from week two, and Coach Householder will no doubt be worried that the Steelers Defense/ST will drop another 24 points for Big Tex's Pillow Biters like they did the last time those teams faced off.

Meanwhile, Alcoholniks will be playing The Brainers next week. The Brainers will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 75+ point games. These two teams squared off in week five, when Alcoholniks ended up getting crushed by 27 points.

Jerrays Jerryatricians just outclassed Homesick Abortions this week, earning a 64 to 51 victory. The win brings Jerrays Jerryatricians' record to 6 - 4, while dropping Homesick Abortions to 5 - 5.

Jerrays Jerryatricians relied heavily on CeeDee Lamb, who posted 19 points. That performance was good for 3rd place among all players this week.1 He embarrassed the secondary on this play, effortlessly pulling in this pass with one hand for a gain of 30.

The only real bad apple in Jerrays Jerryatricians' orchard this week was Trevor Lawrence, who scored -3 points. While being sacked five times sure didn't help things, Lawrence bears much of the blame for Jacksonville's blowout loss as he tossed two picks and no touchdowns.

Meanwhile, while balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Homesick Abortions this week. DeAndre Hopkins was the 'worst' player, scoring 1, while Dalton Kincaid was the best on the team with 8.2

Homesick Abortions weren't perfect, but Coach Chris Crowder was. Pulling that off took some extra effort this week. He started Kincaid instead of Hunter Henry, despite the experts' prediction that Henry should have played.

This decision netted Coach Crowder an extra 7 points. Coach Crowder has now set the most perfect lineups of anyone in the league.

The schedule for Jerrays Jerryatricians brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters around next week. Jerrays Jerryatricians will get to face Big Tex's Pillow Biters while that squad is in the middle of a four game losing streak. Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will be playing Alcoholniks.

The experts just can't seem to give Space Lords enough credit. They had topped their point total projections for three straight weeks before this game, and did it again this week. Space Lords had just enough against Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 64 to 60. Just another good result from the leagues' all-time leader in winning percentage.

The win brings Space Lords' winning streak to four games, which gives them a 6 - 4 record. This loss brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters' losing streak to four in a row, and puts their record at 4 - 6.

This contest featured the top performing player this week in Dak Prescott, and not surprisingly, he played on the winning team. Space Lords were led by the one-man team of Dak, who was responsible for more than half of his team's points. He scored 32 points, which topped all but two quarterbacks so far this season.

Tyler Bass has been dead weight throughout Big Tex's Pillow Biters's losing streak, and this week brought more of the same. Bass was the worst of six underperformers, racking up 2 points.1

Gerald Everett added to Big Tex's Pillow Biters' troubles, scoring exactly zero points. Coach William Hayes was no doubt hoping for more from Everett's first venture off the bench.

Keenan Allen and Justin Herbert, scoring 44 points, did their best to make a game of it for Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Allen's performance this week ended a three game streak of failing to hit his projections.

On the coaching front, Coach Brad Householder wound up with a perfect lineup this week, albeit by following the CBSSports projections to the letter. This is the first time all year that Coach Householder has pulled that off.

Next week, Space Lords will take on the 3 - 7 Pinko Commie Bastards. Pinko Commie Bastards won this week, but that might be a good thing for Space Lords, since Pinko Commie Bastards has yet to win back-to-back games.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with Jerrays Jerryatricians next week. That game will see both of this week's top wide receivers square off, when Keenan Allen matches up against CeeDee Lamb.

Zombie Werewolves beat Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum both times they played last year and kept that trend going this week. Zombie Werewolves slid by Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 64 to 59. The result gets both squads back to a .500 record at 5 - 5.

Zombie Werewolves had never lost when George Kittle overperformed his expectations, and that held true again this week. Kittle led a very balanced group of five overperformers for Zombie Werewolves, tallying 12 points.1 This is the 2nd time this year that he has led Zombie Werewolves. He might've only caught three passes, but thanks to this 66-yard TD he finished the game with 116 yards.

Zombie Werewolves also got a better-than-expected performance from Dustin Hopkins, who beat his projections by 7.9 points. A 14 point performance is all in a day's work for the best kicker in the league.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of chefs cooking up this week's loss for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. They had five underperformers, with Taysom Hill (zero points) being the worst. Hill's performance broke his three game streak of surpassing his projections.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. Next week will see Zombie Werewolves taking on the 4 - 6 Brainers. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 38 points this week.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on DenBro. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will have to deal with Tyreek Hill in that one, and then follow that up with matchups against fellow top wide receivers CeeDee Lamb and A.J. Brown.

Coach Erran Yearty picked the right time to add Brock Purdy to the squad. Purdy was the key component as Pinko Commie Bastards made it past DenBro, winning 58 to 55. His 21 point performance made him the top performer on Pinko Commie Bastards for the first time this year. He owned his prior mistakes before the 49ers' game on Sunday, then proved he meant it with 296 yards and three touchdowns.

Although they took the loss, DenBro got a big game from Jason Myers. Myers scored 21 points, which were the most of any kicker this week. Unfortunately for DenBro, he was the only player on the whole team that had a legit good performance.

The Commanders Defense/ST and Aaron Jones both failed to come up with more than 1 point for DenBro this week. Coach Don Zimmerman have to be used to bad scores from the Commanders, who have been the worst performer on DenBro more times than any other player. They have now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

The win brings Pinko Commie Bastards' record to 3 - 7, while dropping DenBro to 6 - 4.

Pinko Commie Bastards will be going against Space Lords next week. Bad timing for Pinko Commie Bastards, as Space Lords will come into the matchup on a four game winning streak.

DenBro's next game will be against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum in a rematch from week five. DenBro ended up getting crushed in the previous matchup by 26 points. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will have to play without Zack Moss, who has a bye week next week.

Alcoholniks felt the sting of a 27 point loss to The Brainers back in week five, and made darn sure there would be no repeat this week. Alcoholniks gave The Brainers a 70 to 38 drubbing. That 32 point margin was the biggest gap between any two teams this week.

The win brings Alcoholniks' record to 6 - 4, while dropping The Brainers to 4 - 6.

Alcoholniks had several players step up in the win, as four starters beat their positional averages. The 49ers Defense/ST was the first among equals, scoring 19 points. That was the most that any Defense/ST collected this week.

Amon-Ra St. Brown helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 6.8 points. St. Brown was almost perfect on Sunday, catching eight of nine targets for 156 yards and this 20-yard touchdown.

Alcoholniks overcame poor performances from Lamar Jackson and Travis Etienne (8 points combined) in getting this win. Coach Nick Claeboe has to be used to bad scores from Jackson, who has been the worst performer on Alcoholniks more times than any other player.

The Brainers, meanwhile, were having a terrible time moving the ball down the field, with the whole team gaining only 222 yards. No other team gained fewer total yards this week. The Brainers suffered through poor performances from Diontae Johnson, Evan Engram, and Joe Mixon in that category, who collectively managed only 74 total yards.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse might have had a little too much fun last week, as he didn't set his team's lineup. He left Nico Collins in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. He also left the Saints Defense/ST in the lineup (the Bills Defense/ST would have been 5 points better).

The Brainers' next game will be against Zombie Werewolves in a rematch from week four. The Brainers ended up getting crushed in the previous matchup by 22 points. Coach Rittenhouse will no doubt be worried that Derrick Henry will drop another 17 points for Zombie Werewolves like he did last time. As for Alcoholniks, they will match up with Homesick Abortions next week.

Space Lords came into this game with a four game winning streak. They left with five. Coach Brad Householder's team wound up with a solid victory against Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 63 to 55.

With the win, Space Lords moved to 7 - 4, good for the top spot in the West Side division. The loss was Pinko Commie Bastards' 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 3 - 8.

Space Lords had a one-man wrecking crew, with Saquon Barkley posting 18 points. SaQuads topped all running backs this week with that performance. He caught two touchdowns on Sunday, one of which was this impossible over-the-shoulder score.

Coach Householder also got 10 points out of Brandon McManus, who the experts thought should not have made the starting lineup. Jayden Reed was kept on Space Lords' bench in the victory, but he didn't let that discourage him, as he went off for 10 points. Coach Householder may want to consider putting Reed in the starting lineup, after he produced 20 points in the last two weeks.

Pinko Commie Bastards lost despite the prodigious efforts of Brock Purdy. Purdy scored 22 points, which were the 2nd most of any quarterback this week. Unfortunately, for Pinko Commie Bastards, he both began and ended the list of big performers on the squad.

Pinko Commie Bastards had plenty of duds in the loss. Jake Elliott was the worst of a five man group of underperformers, putting up only 3 points.1 Elliott might be heading back to the waiver wire after getting picked up before this game.

Both teams have good news in the upcoming schedule. Space Lords will face off against Zombie Werewolves next week. That team is not coming in very hot, after finishing this week with only 36 points.

Although Pinko Commie Bastards lost this game, on the bright side, Space Lords were the hardest test they will face for a while. Their next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week.

The Bills Defense/ST had been fairly quiet since week three's performance, but finally awoke from their slumber this week. The Brainers destroyed Zombie Werewolves, winning 58 to 36 behind 20 points from the Bills. Their performance this week ended a six game streak of failing to perform at a league average level.

The Brainers won despite bad games from Cooper Kupp and Austin Ekeler, who together dropped 1 point. Kupp managed a single catch before going down with an ankle injury on Sunday.

Zombie Werewolves suffered from a few bad performances from some unexpected quarters this week. Joe Burrow scored 7 points, while Kareem Hunt scored 1. In addition to Burrow and Hunt, Zombie Werewolves had five other underperforming players this week, including Derrick Henry, who scored only 1 point.

Zombie Werewolves did get some solace this week in the form of George Kittle, who came up with 10 points. No other tight end scored more points than that this week.

The win was The Brainers' 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 5 - 6. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves back below .500 at 5 - 6.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Next week will see The Brainers taking on the 5 - 6 Homesick Abortions. The Brainers might be feeling pretty confident about that game, as Homesick Abortions limps in on a three game losing streak.

Zombie Werewolves will try to cool off Space Lords next week. Space Lords are coming in hot, having won five games in a row. Space Lords will get to slot Dak Prescott into the lineup, who has been the best player in the league over the past three weeks.

Coach Nick Claeboe has probably found some other ways (whittling maybe?) to pass the time during his recent games. After last week's blowout, he was involved in another no-doubter this week. Alcoholniks stomped all over Homesick Abortions 66 to 37. No big surprise seeing Alcoholniks get the win, as they were the biggest favorite of any team this week.

The loss drops Homesick Abortions to 5 - 6, and sinks them to the bottom of our internal power rankings.

Alcoholniks got good efforts from almost everyone on the squad, with six players topping their positional averages. David Montgomery was the best of the bunch, tallying 10 points.1 After Montgomery's performance this week, he moved up to being the 3rd best running back in the league.

Lamar Jackson helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 5.3 points. Despite an injury scare and losing one of his top targets, Jackson powered through and finished Thursday's matchup with 318 total yards and two touchdowns.

Meanwhile, Baker Mayfield stuck out as the worst performer for Homesick Abortions, totaling only 5 points.2 That performance was worse than every other player this week.3 He is in the midst of a troubling sequence, having seen his point total fall every week for the last three weeks.

Mayfield was joined by four other underperformers, including Josh Jacobs, who scored only 1 point. Homesick Abortions only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with DeAndre Hopkins scoring 8 points.4

After dropping this week's game, Homesick Abortions can at least look forward to a much easier schedule over the next two weeks, beginning with the 5 - 6 Brainers next week. As for Alcoholniks, they will square off against DenBro.

Coach Don Zimmerman have had the most stable lineup in the league, but that consistency wasn't helpful this week. They went with Rashee Rice over the higher ranked DK Metcalf.

This decision shaved 8 points from DenBro's score and cost them the game, as they came up a little short versus Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (6 - 5), losing 62 to 58.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won with a balanced effort, as four players outperformed their positional averages. Nathaniel Dell was just a bit ahead of the others, racking up 13 points. That gave him the most points on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum for the first time this season. He added some padding to the Texans' score right before halftime with this leaping 40-yard TD.

Coach Robert Wetzel's squad overcame bad performances from three players: the Seahawks Defense/ST, Logan Thomas, and C.J. Stroud, who collectively came up with 15 points. Underperforming is the new normal for the Seahawks, who have gone five straight games without hitting their projected point total.

Meanwhile, Aaron Jones was clearly the weakest link for Coach Zimmerman and the gang as he scored zero points.

Both teams have a tough upcoming schedule. Coach Zimmerman are probably happy with how their team has played this season, but they have to be concerned about their team's recent performance. DenBro have now lost their last two games. Coach Zimmerman will have to hope things turn around in next week's matchup with Alcoholniks. Alcoholniks have been racking up the points recently, posting two straight 65+ point games.

Coach Wetzel should hope that the victory over a quality opponent like DenBro establishes a pattern, as their next two games are against winning teams, starting with Jerrays Jerryatricians next week.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters had the best wide receivers coming into this game, and they came through for Coach William Hayes once again. Big Tex's Pillow Biters used sticky hands to power themselves to a 72 to 59 victory over Jerrays Jerryatricians. Keenan Allen scored 11 points, and Davante Adams was close behind with 10. A good performance by Allen has been critical for Big Tex's Pillow Biters this season, as they have gone 4 - 1 when he exceeds his expectations, and 0 - 3 when he doesn't.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters also got a big effort from Tony Pollard (5 points above expected). Pollard's performance this week stopped his three game streak of not meeting his projections.

Jerrays Jerryatricians are bound to have a hard time winning when Kenneth Walker III has a bad week, and that's just what happened. Walker III loomed large in the loss for Jerrays Jerryatricians, delivering zero points. His momentum from last week's 13 point performance apparently didn't carry over.

Adding injury to insult, Jerrays Jerryatricians had a key player go down. Just a day after returning from IR, De'Von Achane was once again sidelined with a knee injury after only two touches.

The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 5 - 6, while dropping Jerrays Jerryatricians to 6 - 5.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters will try to make it two in a row versus Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Pinko Commie Bastards will bring the league's top player, Christian McCaffrey, into the game. As for Jerrays Jerryatricians, they will take on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum in a battle of two 6 - 5 teams.

Pinko Commie Bastards have been relying on Christian McCaffrey all year, and he came through again this week. Run CMC led the way as Pinko Commie Bastards took down Big Tex's Pillow Biters handily, winning 51 to 33. A 18 point day represents another fine effort from McCaffrey, who is currently the best player in the league. Impossible plays like this led him to 114 rushing yards and two touchdowns.

Given their low point total, it's not surprising that Pinko Commie Bastards had several underperformers (seven to be exact). Brock Purdy was the worst of them, scoring 7 points.1 This brutal pick-six Purdy threw wound up being the only TD Seattle would score.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters had many underperformers, but Joshua Dobbs stood out, totaling zero points. That made Dobbs the worst starter this week. His performance definitively ended a five game streak of beating the experts' projections.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters also had to deal with a poor effort from Riley Patterson (7.9 points below expected). Patterson's 0 point performance was the worst of any kicker this week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Tony Pollard scoring 10 points.2

The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 5 - 7, while the win brings Pinko Commie Bastards to 4 - 8.

Next week, Pinko Commie Bastards will take on the 5 - 7 Homesick Abortions. Good timing, as Homesick Abortions will come into the matchup on a four game losing streak. Next week will feature a mirror image matchup when the 5 - 7 Big Tex's Pillow Biters take on the 5 - 7 Zombie Werewolves.

In a week where there were three blowouts, this was the biggest. Jerrays Jerryatricians thoroughly dominated Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 93 to 49. Jerrays Jerryatricians' point total was the 2nd highest of any team this season.

The win brings Jerrays Jerryatricians' record to 7 - 5, while dropping Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 6 - 6.

Jerrays Jerryatricians had never lost when Bijan Robinson overperformed his expectations, and that held true again this week. Although Jerrays Jerryatricians got a nice group performance in the win, Robinson was the first among equals, racking up 17 points. He was a scoring machine on Sunday, posting a rushing score and this impressive 26-yard TD grab.

Another overperformer, wide receiver Mike Evans, was the best at his position this week. Tua Tagovailoa provided the only truly sour note for Jerrays Jerryatricians this week, as he scored 3 points. New York's defense got the best of Tagovailoa, who tossed one TD but allowed three turnovers (including this ugly pick-six).

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's troubles were largely due to having developed an allergy to the end zone. All their starters combining for only one touchdown. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum were practicing their manners as they put every other team ahead of themselves in the TotTDScored category this week. Coach Robert Wetzel can look to Zach Charbonnet and Breece Hall when passing out blame for the poor performance in that category. The two combined to score 0 TDs.

Jerrays Jerryatricians will be going against DenBro next week. The scoreboard operator might be kept busy in that one, as those are the two highest scoring teams in the league.

As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will match up with Alcoholniks. Both teams come into that game licking their wounds after getting thoroughly knocked around by their opponents.

Alcoholniks might have been feeling cocky after coming up with 66 points last week. They're probably feeling a bit humbler now. DenBro demolished Alcoholniks, winning 82 to 51. The loss drops Alcoholniks' record to 7 - 5, while the win brings DenBro to an identical 7 - 5.

Josh Allen made it rain for DenBro, totaling 30 points. Allen overperformed his expectations by more than any other player. No surprise there, as he is currently the 4th best player in the league.

DenBro also got a big effort from Tyreek Hill (4.2 points above expected). Hill posted 102 receiving yards (and this touchdown) on Sunday, marking the seventh time in 11 games he's broken the century mark.

Alcoholniks had a very balanced lineup, but it was balanced at too low of a level. The 49ers Defense/ST paced the team by beating the average Defense/ST by 4.1 points, while Lamar Jackson (5 points worse than the average quarterback) was the worst on the team. Coach Nick Claeboe has to be used to bad scores from Jackson, who has been the worst performer on Alcoholniks more times than any other player. His performances have been a good barometer for Alcoholniks this season, as they have gone 2 - 5 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 5 - 0 when he meets them.

Coach Don Zimmerman should hope that the victory over Alcoholniks establishes a pattern, as the next three games for DenBro are against winning teams, starting with Jerrays Jerryatricians next week. There are likely to be some fireworks in that one, as it features the two highest scoring teams in the league. Meanwhile, Alcoholniks will be playing Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Coming into the game, Space Lords were the 2nd highest scoring team during the previous three weeks, and they kept that momentum going. Coach Brad Householder's squad skated by Zombie Werewolves pretty easily, winning 79 to 65. The 79 points that Space Lords dropped were the most they scored this year.

With the win, Space Lords continues their six-game streak of success, which brings their record to 8 - 4. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves' record to 5 - 7.

Space Lords had almost all of their firepower going off before the end of the Sunday early games, and they came through. Dak Prescott's 28 points were the key contribution. Prescott tossed four touchdowns on Sunday, including this 34-yard missile in the fourth quarter.

Space Lords also got a solid effort from Brandon McManus (6.9 points above expected). Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves were having a so-so performance. They had four slightly underperforming players, with George Kittle (zero points) being the worst.

Going into the Sunday late games, Space Lords were already looking good. It was over for good after Kyren Williams dropped 22 points.

Next week, Space Lords will be playing The Brainers. The Brainers won't have T.J. Hockenson available to start in that contest.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will collide with Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. Points were in short supply for that team this week, as they could only scrounge up 33 of them. The game ought to be quite the strategic battle as it will feature the best gameday coaches in the league.

The Brainers sent Homesick Abortions crying home to mommy after a thorough 75 to 51 spanking. Blowouts are typical for these teams these days. The Brainers has been involved in five straight blowout games, while this is the 2nd straight blowout game for Homesick Abortions.

The win gets The Brainers back to .500 with a 6 - 6 record. The defeat is the 4th in a row for Homesick Abortions, putting their record at 5 - 7.

Jalen Hurts separated himself from the rest of the crew on The Brainers, scoring 30 points. That makes it five straight games of overperforming expectations for Hurts. With five touchdowns scored, it's just too hard to pick his' best: it's either this dart to take the lead in the fourth, or this walk-off score in overtime.

The Brainers also got a better-than-expected performance from the Dolphins Defense/ST, who beat their projections by 8.2 points. After their performance this week, the Dolphins are looking like a darn good waiver wire pickup.

Coach Chris Crowder saw some familiar names among his bad players this week. The Texans Defense/ST, Adam Thielen, and Baker Mayfield continued to disappoint, combining for 11 points. It's yet another disappointing day for Thielen, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in five straight games. He was targeted just three times on Sunday (he made one catch for two yards), but his role could be changing with the Panthers recent coaching move.

Next week will see The Brainers taking on the 8 - 4 Space Lords. The Brainers will have to put their tight end depth to the test in that one, as T.J. Hockenson has his bye week.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions will take on Pinko Commie Bastards. Pinko Commie Bastards, who won this week, will be looking for their first back-to-back wins of the season.

The Brainers got something this week that has been all too rare- a good performance from their wide receivers. The Brainers used a big game from their wide receivers to take down Space Lords 81 to 69. Nico Collins scored 15 points, while DeVonta Smith scored 10. Collins saw a season-high 12 targets on Sunday and considering what he did with them (191 yards and a touchdown) it's safe to say he'll probably be seeing more.

Evan Engram helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 7 points. Engram's performance this week ended a three game streak of failing to hit his projections.

Meanwhile, Drake London and Devin Singletary put a big hurt on Space Lords' chances, delivering only 1 point between them. That makes it seven straight games where London has underperformed the league average wide receiver. London's one catch for eight yards was the only catch by a Falcons WR on Sunday.

The Brainers have now won three games in a row, giving them a record of 7 - 6. The loss drops Space Lords' record to 8 - 5.

The Brainers will face off against Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. That team will limp into next week's game having posted less than 50 points each of the last two games. The contest will be a rematch from week six, when The Brainers ended up losing by the devastating total of 1 point.

As for Space Lords, they will square off against Pinko Commie Bastards. Coach Erran Yearty's team will come into the game with some momentum, having posted 94 points this week. Pinko Commie Bastards will also enter the game with Christian McCaffrey, who has been the best player in the league.

Coach Patrick jolle's gameday decisions have been the best in the league this season, and their brilliance was on display again this week. They followed the experts' advice for each position and ended up with a perfect lineup, as Zombie Werewolves (6 - 7) gave Big Tex's Pillow Biters (5 - 8) a 68 to 38 drubbing.

Zombie Werewolves had two main stars in Derrick Henry and Alvin Kamara, who together dropped 33 points. King Henry's performance led Zombie Werewolves for the 3rd time this year. Despite leaving Sunday's matchup with a suspected concussion (he was later cleared), he racked up 102 rushing yards and a pair of rushing scores.

It wasn't all good news this week for Zombie Werewolves though. Marquise Brown left Sunday's game in the third quarter with an ankle injury after failing to bring in all three of his targets.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters really lost this game as a team. They were brought down by four underperformers, the worst of whom was Justin Herbert (4 points).1 Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for Herbert, who has seen his point total drop in each of the last three weeks. He failed to score a touchdown on Sunday, but it turns out when you're playing the Pats, you don't need to.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters also had to deal with a bad performance from the Steelers Defense/ST, who scored only 2 points. The Steelers fell farther short of their expected points than any other player this week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Tony Pollard scoring 9 points.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. Zombie Werewolves will be playing Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 33 points this week.

As for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, they will match up with The Brainers. Unfortunately for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, The Brainers are coming into their matchup on a three game winning streak.

This was expected to be a blowout, and Jerrays Jerryatricians didn't disappoint. They made it look easy against DenBro, winning 78 to 44. Blowouts are typical for these teams these days, as both of them were in blowouts last week as well.

Jerrays Jerryatricians improve to 8 - 5 after winning three out of their last four games. DenBro are now 7 - 6 after losing three out of their last four games.

Two of the key players in this fight were real-life teammates, as Jerrays Jerryatricians' Raheem Mostert squared off against Tyreek Hill. While they were on the same team, they sure didn't deliver the same result. Raheem Mostert disappointed with a comparatively paltry 8 points for Jerrays Jerryatricians. That's the 3rd worst game that Mostert has produced this year.

Meanwhile Tyreek Hill kept pace with a 21 point effort for Coach Don Zimmerman. Hill posted 157 receiving yards on Sunday, most of which came from his two touchdowns: one from 78 yards out, the other from 60.

With Mostert failing to come through, it was up to the rest of the boys on Jerrays Jerryatricians. They answered the call, scoring 70 points. That group was led by Sam LaPorta, who scored 13 points. That was the most that any tight end collected this week.

The schedule for Jerrays Jerryatricians brings Homesick Abortions around next week. Jerrays Jerryatricians will get to face Homesick Abortions while that squad is in the middle of a five game losing streak.

DenBro's next game will be against Alcoholniks in a rematch from week twelve. DenBro won the previous matchup easily. Coach Zimmerman will be keeping their fingers crossed that Josh Allen will score 30 points like he did when DenBro last played Alcoholniks.

'The thrill is gone'--at least when it comes to Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's recent games. After last week's blowout, they played in another one this week (and lost again). Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum got beat down by Alcoholniks, losing 62 to 33. The 33 points that Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum scored were the fewest they scored this year.

The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back below .500 at 6 - 7.

Alcoholniks didn't have any huge performances this week, but also didn't have anybody who really dropped the ball. Jordan Love topped the quarterback average by 5.7 points to lead the team, while the 49ers Defense/ST fell only 4.3 points short of the average D/ST in bringing up the rear. Love has now overperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games. The Chiefs handed him a loss in his first career start two years ago, but he got his revenge with 267 passing yards and three TDs.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum saw seven different players underperform, and while none of them particularly stuck out, Joey Slye and his 1 point was officially the worst.1 Slye's 1 point was the fewest of any kicker this week.

Breece Hall added to Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's troubles, scoring only 1 point. Hall's performances have closely tracked the fortunes of Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this season, as they have gone 1 - 4 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 3 - 1 when he meets them. Taysom Hill was the only player on the team that didn't underperform, scoring 8 points.

Two 6 - 7 teams will do battle next week when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum takes on Zombie Werewolves. Meanwhile, Alcoholniks will take on DenBro. DenBro will get to start the league's hottest player in Tyreek Hill.

This week featured four blowouts, but this one was the biggest. Pinko Commie Bastards crushed Homesick Abortions, winning 94 to 59. Pinko Commie Bastards' 94 points didn't just give them a win, but moved them into the top spot for points in the season as well.

Pinko Commie Bastards are now 5 - 8 after picking up their first back-to-back wins of the season. The loss is the 5th straight for Homesick Abortions, dropping their record to 5 - 8.

Coach Erran Yearty didn't rely on his All-Stars to pull this one out, instead getting contributions from unexpected quarters. Brock Purdy scored 26 points, Ja'Marr Chase came up with 14, and Michael Pittman finished with 11. That's a big turnaround for Purdy, who last week scored 7 points. He is now an MVP favorite after his 4 TD outing in Philadelphia (and it's easy to see why).

Although Coach Yearty got the win, he cannot have been happy with the Chiefs Defense/ST's performance this week. The Chiefs failed to show up, scoring 2 points. That's the fewest points that they've scored this year.

Homesick Abortions had never won when Baker Mayfield failed to hit his expected points, and that held true again this week. Mayfield was the worst of four underperformers, racking up 8 points.1 He has now been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks.

Adam Thielen falling 4.4 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Thielen, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in six straight games.

Although only one wound up with a victory, both coaches made good decisions this week. Coach Yearty earned his team points last week, and decided that he wanted extra points this week as well. He started Michael Pittman instead of Garrett Wilson, despite the experts' prediction that Wilson should have played.

This decision boosted Pinko Commie Bastards' final score by 9 points, which only added to Pinko Commie Bastards' domination. It also made Coach Yearty the best performing gameday coach this week.

Homesick Abortions certainly didn't lose because of coaching issues. Coach Chris Crowder got every lineup spot right this week. His decisions this week allow him to relinquish his title as the worst gameday coach in the league (Coach Todd Marquis wears the crown now).

Coach Crowder will put his managerial prowess to work against Jerrays Jerryatricians next week. Jerrays Jerryatricians will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 75+ point games. The rematch will feature De'Von Achane this time, as he was unavailable for Jerrays Jerryatricians during the last game. Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will collide with Space Lords next week.

DenBro blew out Alcoholniks in week twelve. This week, Coach Nick Claeboe got his revenge. Alcoholniks destroyed DenBro, winning 72 to 48. Blowouts are typical for these teams these days. Alcoholniks has been involved in five straight blowout games, while this is the 3rd straight blowout game for DenBro.

The win brings Alcoholniks to 9 - 5, and sends them to the top of our internal power rankings. The loss drops DenBro's record to 7 - 7.

Alcoholniks had never lost when Lamar Jackson overperformed his expectations, and that held true again this week. Jackson was the clear leader on Alcoholniks, producing 25 points. No other quarterback scored more points than that this week. He had no problem making huge plays when it mattered most (even on 3rd and 17).

Alcoholniks also got a better-than-expected performance from Justin Tucker, who beat his projections by 3.7 points. Tucker has now gone seven weeks without dipping below the average kicker's points.

Keaton Mitchell got his first start for DenBro this week, but it might be his last. DenBro lost due to the efforts of some repeat offenders this week. Mitchell scored 2 points, Michael Mayer got 0, and A.J. Dillon dropped 3. Underperforming is the new normal for Mitchell, who has gone three straight games without hitting his projected point total.

In the loss, DenBro had three solid performers, with the Broncos Defense/ST, DK Metcalf, and Josh Allen putting up 36 points. No surprise there, as Allen is currently the 3rd best player in the league.

Alcoholniks' next game will be against Big Tex's Pillow Biters in a rematch from week one. Alcoholniks lost the previous matchup 60 to 50. Coach Claeboe will no doubt be worried that Justin Herbert will drop another 15 points for Big Tex's Pillow Biters like he did last time.

Don't look for many shrewd coaching decisions in next week's game between DenBro and Jerrays Jerryatricians, which features the worst gameday coaches in the league. The matchup will also feature the two top WR's in the league, as Tyreek Hill meets up with CeeDee Lamb.

Pinko Commie Bastards didn't give Space Lords a chance this week, blowing past them 67 to 50. Pinko Commie Bastards got some retribution on Space Lords for their game in week eleven, when Pinko Commie Bastards went down 63 to 55.

Pinko Commie Bastards have now finished off three straight opponents after this win, bringing their record to 6 - 8. The loss drops Space Lords' record to 8 - 6.

Rachaad White led a very balanced group of five overperformers for Pinko Commie Bastards this week, delivering 12 points.1 That made him the top performer on Pinko Commie Bastards for the first time this year. Almost all of his 33 receiving yards came from this defender-dodging 31-yard score.

Over in the loser's circle, Space Lords got a big game from Saquon Barkley. SaQuads scored 14 points, which were good for 2nd place among all running backs this week. Unfortunately for Space Lords, he was the only player on the whole team that had a legit good performance.

Coach Brad Householder will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. Space Lords had six underperformers, with the Chargers Defense/ST (4 points) being the worst.2 The Chargers' 4 point performance was the worst of any Defense/ST this week.

Space Lords will try to get back to their winning ways as they have performed uncharacteristically bad of late, losing two games in a row. They will try to turn things around against The Brainers next week. As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will match up with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

In a week that featured five blowouts, this was the biggest. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum demolished Zombie Werewolves, winning 72 to 42. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum were able to give Zombie Werewolves some payback for their week ten matchup, when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum were defeated 64 to 59.

The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back to even at 7 - 7. Thanks to the loss, Zombie Werewolves have now come out on the losing end of three of their last four games, moving their record to 6 - 8.

David Njoku and D.J. Moore were the prime movers for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, recording 16 points each. Njoku's 16 points represent the most he's had this year.

Njoku and Moore got help from three other players, including 12 points from Breece Hall. Hall's ankle injury didn't slow him down as he posted a season-high 86 receiving yards and this tidy touchdown.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won despite bad games from Daniel Carlson, Zack Moss, and Patrick Mahomes, who together scored 10 points. This is the first time this year that Carlson has been the worst starter on his team.

Meanwhile, Jared Goff was clearly the weakest link for Coach Patrick jolle and the gang as he posted 4 points.1 Goff was stumped by Chicago's defense: he ended a four-game streak in which he's thrown multiple TDs and was held to less than 200 yards for the first time this season. He was part of a group of six underperformers, with Stefon Diggs (only 1 point) being the worst of the rest.

Coach Jolle have had the most stable lineup in the league, but that consistency wasn't helpful this week. They went with Kareem Hunt over the higher ranked Derrick Henry.

This decision took a 6 point chunk out of Zombie Werewolves' final score, which ultimately didn't make a difference in the final outcome. Coach Jolle's decisions this week did cost them their title as the best gameday coach in the league (Coach William Hayes wears the crown now).

Unfortunately for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will play Pinko Commie Bastards next week, who is riding a three-game win streak. Both coaches on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum and Pinko Commie Bastards might be feeling a bit cocky heading into the game, having easily dispatched their opponents this week. Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will collide with Homesick Abortions next week.

It's not that hard to win when you have the league's top performer for the week, and Brandon Aubrey was that player.1 Aubrey was the key component as Homesick Abortions stomped all over Jerrays Jerryatricians 63 to 40. His 22 point performance this week moves him up to being the best kicker in the league this season. He has started his career with 30 consecutive made field goals, an NFL record (four, including this 60-yarder, came on Sunday).

Another player contributing was Jake Browning, who came up with 20 points. Browning might have found a home after getting picked up off the waiver wire this week.

Meanwhile, Tua Tagovailoa was the main culprit in Jerrays Jerryatricians' loss, scoring only 2 points.2 That's the fewest points that he's scored this year.

Tagovailoa had plenty of company, with Mike Evans (zero points) being the worst of four other underperformers. Evans' performance this week broke his four game streak of surpassing his projections. Jerrays Jerryatricians only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with CeeDee Lamb scoring 9 points.3

The loss drops Jerrays Jerryatricians' record to 8 - 6, while the win brings Homesick Abortions to 6 - 8.

Next week will feature a mirror image matchup as the 6 - 8 Homesick Abortions will take on the 6 - 8 Zombie Werewolves. That will be a rematch from week three, when Homesick Abortions won in a blowout.

Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians will be playing DenBro. The game will be a rematch from week thirteen, but DenBro will have Josh Allen, who had his bye week during the first matchup.

It's probably been tough for Coach William Hayes to stay awake while following his recent games. The last two games have been blowouts, and this week was just more of the same. Big Tex's Pillow Biters (5 - 9) were on the losing side of a blowout, falling 47 to 22 at the hands of The Brainers (8 - 6). The two teams combined for the lowest score this season.

The game leaves both these teams streaking in opposite directions. The win makes it four in a row for The Brainers. The loss makes it three in a row for Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

The Brainers had several players step up in the win, as four starters beat their positional averages. Joe Mixon was just a bit ahead of the others, racking up 11 points.1 Mixon rushed for 79 yards on Sunday, which is bound to happen when it takes the entire secondary to bring you down.

The game would have been an even bigger blowout if Coach Chuck Rittenhouse had put Evan Engram (16 points) in the lineup. Engram did better than any player actually in The Brainers' starting lineup this week.

Meanwhile, Justin Herbert loomed large in the loss for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, scoring -1 points. Herbert has now been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks. He failed to top 100 passing yards before leaving Sunday's game with a fractured index finger late in the second quarter.

Keenan Allen has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 3.8 fewer points than he was expected to. Big Tex's Pillow Biters has never won when Allen failed to hit his expected points, going 0 - 6.

Next week, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will take on the 9 - 5 Alcoholniks. Alcoholniks have been racking up the points recently, posting two straight 60+ point games.

As for The Brainers, they will square off against Space Lords next week. The Brainers have now been an underdog in both the last two weeks, and won both times. Maybe they'll get a bit more credit going into their next one.

Alcoholniks had the best record in the league coming into this game, but unfortunately for Coach Nick Claeboe, the past was not prelude. Alcoholniks got beat by Big Tex's Pillow Biters, 64 to 53. The loss drops Alcoholniks' record to 9 - 6, while the win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 6 - 9.

When Coach William Hayes entertained thoughts of winning this game, he probably didn't include the two players that ended up leading the way. Amari Cooper scored 12 points, and Davante Adams was close behind with 11.

In addition to Cooper and Adams, Big Tex's Pillow Biters had two other good players this week in the Colts Defense/ST and Matthew Stafford. Stafford cut Washington's defense to shreds on Sunday, especially on this incredible 62-yard touchdown.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters won despite bad games from Jerome Ford, Travis Kelce, and Tony Pollard, who together totaled 4 points. Pollard is in the midst of a troubling sequence, having seen his point total fall every week for the last three weeks.

While balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Alcoholniks this week. Justin Tucker paced the team by beating the average kicker by 5 points, while A.J. Brown (4 points worse than the average wide receiver) was the worst on the team. It's yet another disappointing day for Brown, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in five straight games. He has also been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks.

Coach Hayes' lineup decisions were critical to this week's success. He started Amari Cooper instead of Gabe Davis, despite the experts' prediction that Davis should have played.

This decision gave Big Tex's Pillow Biters a nice 12 point bonus, which was the difference in the game. Good decisions are nothing new for Coach Hayes, who's been the best game-day coach in the league.

Zombie Werewolves felt the sting of a 33 point loss to Homesick Abortions back in week three, and made darn sure there would be no repeat this week. Zombie Werewolves crushed Homesick Abortions, winning 68 to 38. Blowouts are typical for these teams these days. Zombie Werewolves has been involved in three straight blowout games, while this is the 5th straight blowout game for Homesick Abortions.

The win brings Zombie Werewolves' record to 7 - 8, while dropping Homesick Abortions to 6 - 9.

Jared Goff was the key contributor for Zombie Werewolves, producing 30 points. Quite an improvement from last week, when Goff managed only 4 points. This touchdown was his fifth of the night, matching his career-high set back in 2018.

Zombie Werewolves also got a big effort from Jaylen Waddle (9.2 points above expected). Waddle's performance this week stopped his five game streak of not meeting the league average. Zombie Werewolves overcame bad performances from three players: Kareem Hunt, Stefon Diggs, and George Kittle, who collectively came up with 4 points.

Meanwhile, the loss for Homesick Abortions came down to a pretty simple factor: they didn't go anywhere. Collectively, they only managed to gain 211 yards rushing and receiving. That was the lowest yards gained total of any team this week. Homesick Abortions can place the blame for this result squarely on D'Onta Foreman, who gained -6 total yards.

Hopefully Coach Don Zimmerman have been able to find excitement in the non-fantasy parts of their life. The previous three games were blowouts, and this week was nothing new. DenBro didn't even sniff the winner's podium, losing to Jerrays Jerryatricians 75 to 50. The loss must seem like deja vu for DenBro, who also dropped the last game with Jerrays Jerryatricians by the similarly embarrassing score of 78 to 44.

The loss drops DenBro to 7 - 8, the first time they've been below .500 this year. With the win, Jerrays Jerryatricians have now won three out of their last four games, bringing their record to 9 - 6.

Sam LaPorta separated himself from the rest of the crew on Jerrays Jerryatricians, delivering 20 points. LaPorta topped all but one tight end this season with that performance. He wouldn't be denied on this 18-yard touchdown catch, the first of three he'd score on Saturday.

Coach Todd Marquis also helped out their own cause by going against the experts and starting Harrison Butker, who scored 11 points. Jerrays Jerryatricians managed to rise above the bad efforts from Bijan Robinson and the Cowboys Defense/ST (-1 points total). Robinson made a costly mistake when he lost this fumble as it allowed Carolina to make an easy field goal.

Meanwhile, the Broncos Defense/ST and Aaron Jones both posted identical 2 point marks for DenBro this week. The Broncos' 2 points were the fewest they have scored this year.

Coach Robert Wetzel picked up the Dolphins Defense/ST off the waiver wire this week and they paid immediate dividends. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum made it look easy against Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 74 to 43 behind 22 points from the Dolphins. That makes it five straight games of overperforming expectations for them.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got the 2nd highest tight end score this week via David Njoku, who delivered 11 points. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum got the win despite leaving James Cook and his 22 points on the bench. Cook did better than any player actually in Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's starting lineup this week.1

Pinko Commie Bastards had never won when Justin Fields failed to hit his expected points, and that held true again this week. Fields was the worst of six underperformers, dropping 5 points.2 Coach Erran Yearty has to be used to bad scores from Fields, who has been the worst performer on Pinko Commie Bastards more times than any other player. He almost won the game on this wild Hail Mary pass as time expired, but the bobbled ball turned into his second pick of the night.

Pinko Commie Bastards did get a couple of good, but ultimately futile, efforts from Rachaad White and James Conner, who came up with a total of 22 points. White caught a dart and broke some ankles to score this go-ahead touchdown.

The win gets Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back above .500 at 8 - 7. The loss drops Pinko Commie Bastards' record to 6 - 9.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse looked like he was trying to give away this game with his lineup decisions, but the team just wouldn't quit. The Brainers (9 - 6) gave Space Lords (8 - 7) a 59 to 34 drubbing. The win is more of the same for The Brainers, who won the last game with Space Lords by the score of 81 to 69.

Both squads keep their momentum (or in the case of Space Lords, "momentum") going as a result of this match. The victory makes it five in a row for The Brainers. The defeat puts Space Lords on a three game losing streak.

The Brainers relied heavily on Jahmyr Gibbs, who recorded 17 points. That's the most points that he's scored this year. Gibbs posted 108 yards and a pair of touchdowns thanks to his next-level tackle-breaking ability.

Meanwhile, Dak Prescott hadn't dropped the ball for Space Lords since week five's stinker. Well, that run has come to an end. Dak stuck out as the worst performer for Space Lords, scoring only 1 point. His performance this week was a spectacularly bad finish to his eight game streak of beating the league average. He didn't toss a touchdown on Sunday, the first time since Week 6 in which the MVP candidate has failed to throw for multiple scores.

Even Space Lords' good players weren't all that good this week, with Kyren Williams, Diontae Johnson, and Jayden Reed tallying only 28 points. Williams' performance late on Sunday took him from the 7th best player to the 5th best player in the league.

The Brainers won this game despite, rather than because of, Coach Rittenhouse's lineup moves. He left Cooper Kupp and the Bills Defense/ST on the bench in favor of DeVonta Smith and the Buccaneers Defense/ST, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions cost The Brainers a total of 13 points. After his decisions this week, Coach Rittenhouse has now cost his team points for the season (10 points worse than the experts).

Jerrays Jerryatricians finished the regular season #1. Unfortunately, that didn't count for much this week. They fell to The Brainers, 57 to 53. The loss is more of the same for Jerrays Jerryatricians, who dropped the last game with The Brainers by a 82 to 39 margin.

With the loss, Jerrays Jerryatricians will close the season at 9 - 7. The win brings The Brainers' winning streak to six games, and gives them a record of 10 - 6.

Jalen Hurts has been the key player throughout The Brainers's winning streak, and came through again this week. Hurts teamed up with Jahmyr Gibbs and DeVonta Smith to provide 70% of The Brainers' points. That's all in a day's work for Hurts, who is the 4th best player in the league.

Meanwhile, Coach Todd Marquis can blame the loss on the Bengals Defense/ST, Sam LaPorta, and Harrison Butker, who together managed only 3 points. LaPorta scored zero points, which were the fewest of any tight end this week. His performances have been a good barometer for Jerrays Jerryatricians this season, as they have gone 1 - 4 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 4 - 1 when he meets them.

Space Lords get to go home happy for the first time in four weeks. They got past DenBro, winning 57 to 52. Space Lords got some measure of revenge on DenBro for their matchup back in week six, when DenBro crushed Space Lords 68 to 36.

DenBro will finish their season at 7 - 9. The win brings Space Lords to 9 - 7.

Space Lords underperformed a bit during Sunday's main action. They had four underperformers, with Brandon McManus (zero points) bringing up the rear. Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for McManus, who has seen his point total drop in each of the last four weeks.

Meanwhile, Coach Don Zimmerman's squad was doing pretty good. Josh Allen took the lead, scoring 20 points. Allen picked up a rushing touchdown for the fourth straight week, but that didn't stop him from making some amazing throws.

Going into Sunday night, our projections had DenBro comfortably ahead (they had a 98.8% chance of winning). However, that was before the rest of Coach Zimmerman's squad decided to go on vacation. The Broncos Defense/ST were the worst of them, scoring 7.8 points fewer than they was expected to, which was enough to give Space Lords the victory.

Alcoholniks put a 32 point hurting on The Brainers in week ten, and came back for seconds this week. Alcoholniks pounded The Brainers into submission, winning 97 to 58. That win stopped The Brainers' winning streak at six games.

Alcoholniks now have the best record in the league at 10 - 6. The loss brings the season to an end for The Brainers, who finishes at 10 - 7.

Two of the key players in this fight were real-life teammates, as Alcoholniks' Travis Etienne squared off against Evan Engram. While they were on the same team, they sure didn't deliver the same result. For Travis Etienne's part, he scored 18 points for Alcoholniks. Etienne turned on the jets and broke two tackles for this incredible 62-yard touchdown run.

On the other hand, Evan Engram was not living up to his star status, delivering only 3 points. Engram has now underperformed the league average tight end in three straight games.

The rest of Coach Nick Claeboe's lineup followed Etienne's lead, scoring 79 more points. Of that crew, Lamar Jackson led the way with 33 points. Jackson has become something of a lodestar for Alcoholniks, as they have never lost when he overperforms his expectations, going 7 - 0.

Things were lining up pretty well for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum coming into this one. They had scored the most points of any team over the last three weeks, while Space Lords had scored the second fewest points of any team over the last three weeks. But then, this is why they play the game.

Space Lords destroyed Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 87 to 53. The win brings Space Lords' record to 10 - 7, while dropping Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 8 - 8.

Kyren Williams was the clear leader on Space Lords this week, notching 22 points. Williams simply sprinted through the entire Giants defense for this key 4th quarter touchdown.

Jayden Reed helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 10.4 points. Reed scored 16 points, which is the most he's gotten this year.

Space Lords did well despite having to deal with Saquon Barkley and Jake Ferguson, who combined to post 2 points. This is the first time this year that Barkley has been the worst starter on his team.

Meanwhile, Coach Robert Wetzel will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. Lucas Havrisik was the worst of a five man group of underperformers on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, producing only 2 points.1 That was the fewest of any kicker this week.