2024

Alcoholnics took on Zombie Werewolves two times last year and won each time. The result this week then, was not surprising. Alcoholnics wound up with a solid victory against Zombie Werewolves, winning 60 to 54.

Three players (the Saints Defense/ST, De'Von Achane, and Lamar Jackson) delivered victory to Alcoholnics, getting 38 of their team's 60 points.

Meanwhile, Joe Burrow stuck out as the worst performer for Zombie Werewolves, posting only 3 points.1 Burrow fell farther short of his expected points than any other player this week. He was without one of his top targets on Sunday and the result speaks for itself.

Zombie Werewolves also had to deal with a poor effort from Amon-Ra St. Brown (7.6 points below expected). St. Brown did the worst of any player drafted in the first round. Zombie Werewolves did get a couple of good, but ultimately futile, efforts from Stefon Diggs and Joe Mixon, who came up with a total of 26 points.

Coach Nick Claeboe can pat himself on the back for this week's victory. He left Caleb Williams and Christian Kirk on the bench in favor of Lamar Jackson and Garrett Wilson, who were both expected to score less. These decisions boosted Alcoholnics' final score by 13 points, which were the difference in the game.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Alcoholnics will be going against Jerrays Jerryatricians next week. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 41 points this week.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will be playing The Brainers. The Brainers might present a challenge, having posted the highest score this week.

Pinko Commie Bastards have owned Jerrays Jerryatricians in the past to the tune of a 3 and 1 record, and went ahead and added to that ledger of dominance this week. They crushed Jerrays Jerryatricians, winning 67 to 41.

Pinko Commie Bastards won with a balanced effort, as four players outperformed their positional averages. The Cowboys Defense/ST was the best of the bunch, putting up 17 points.1 Pinko Commie Bastards also got a good performance from Tyreek Hill, who scored 13 points. The Cheetah's eventful morning didn't seem to have an impact on his game as he dominated as usual (it did give him some ideas though).

Coach Erran Yearty's squad overcame poor performances from Marvin Harrison Jr. and Patrick Mahomes (8 points combined) in getting this win.

Meanwhile, this week's loss for Jerrays Jerryatricians was a true group effort. Chris Olave was the worst of a six man group of underperformers, racking up zero points. Another underperformer, kicker Younghoe Koo, was the worst at his position.

Coach Todd Marquis could have won this game with the right lineup. They went with Olave over the higher ranked Chris Godwin.

This decision cost Jerrays Jerryatricians a total of 10 points. If Coach Marquis had left Olave on the bench and also started Chase McLaughlin and the Steelers Defense/ST, Jerrays Jerryatricians would have won the game.

Next week will see Pinko Commie Bastards taking on the 0 - 1 Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Big Tex's Pillow Biters not only lost this week, but scored fewer points than any other team. As for Jerrays Jerryatricians, they will square off against Alcoholnics.

Both The Brainers and Coach Chuck Rittenhouse got themselves off on the right foot this week. Coach Rittenhouse started the Vikings Defense/ST instead of the Bills Defense/ST, despite the experts' prediction that the Bills should have played.

This decision netted Coach Rittenhouse an extra 14 points, which only added to The Brainers' domination as they demolished Homesick Abortions, winning 84 to 61.

The Brainers made a big statement during Sunday's main action. The Vikings led the charge, scoring 20 points. That was the 2nd most of any Defense/ST this week.

The Brainers also got a solid effort from A.J. Brown (4.6 points above expected). Brown was a blur after he caught this pass, which wound up being a 67-yard TD.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions were having a so-so performance. Trevor Lawrence and Najee Harris both did poorly, together coming up with 11 points.

Going into Sunday night's game, The Brainers was a heavy favorite. After a bunch of players, led by Cooper Kupp, scored a metric ton of fantasy points, The Brainers had themselves a 'W'.

Next week, Homesick Abortions will take on the 0 - 1 Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Both Homesick Abortions and Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum come into that game licking their wounds after getting thoroughly knocked around by their opponents. Meanwhile, The Brainers will take on Zombie Werewolves next week.

The Big Red Machine sent Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum crying home to mommy after a thorough 80 to 55 spanking.

Jake Moody was expected to be the worst performing K this week, but apparently that was just fuel for the fire. Moody was the key contributor for The Big Red Machine, delivering 26 points. His performance this week was the best out of any player drafted outside of the fourth round. He was a perfect 6-for-6 kicking field goals on Monday (though it almost wasn't so).

The Big Red Machine also got the 2nd highest quarterback score this week via Josh Allen, who dropped 25 points.

Meanwhile, Coach Robert Wetzel will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had five underperformers, with the Chiefs Defense/ST (5 points) being the worst.1 A key injury will make this loss for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum sting even more. Jordan Love was cooking before he went down with an MCL sprain (luckily, he's expected to be out for weeks, not months).

It will be a tournament-style upcoming schedule for these teams next week. The winner, The Big Red Machine, will take on Space Lords, who beat Big Tex's Pillow Biters this week. Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on a fellow loser in Homesick Abortions, who lost to The Brainers this week.

It's not that hard to win when you have the league's top performer for the week, and Saquon Barkley was that player.1 SaQuads was the key component as Space Lords made it look easy against Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 79 to 40. His first rush on Friday left a lot to be desired, but his performance the rest of the game did not.

Space Lords also got a big effort from Anthony Richardson (9.2 points above expected). The game would have been an even bigger blowout if Coach Brad Householder had put Jayden Reed (20 points) in the lineup. Reed's performance this week was better than every other bench-rider in the league.

Meanwhile, while balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Big Tex's Pillow Biters this week. Jonathan Taylor paced the team by beating the average running back by 0.9 points, while Kyler Murray (5.2 points worse than the average quarterback) was the worst on the team.

Next week, Space Lords will play The Big Red Machine next week in a matchup featuring the two top players this week (Saquon Barkley for Space Lords and Jake Moody for The Big Red Machine). Both those teams came into the season with high projections and proved they deserved them. As for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, they will match up with Pinko Commie Bastards next week.

Alcoholnics were projected to score the fewest points this week, but the experts couldn't have been more wrong. They gave Jerrays Jerryatricians a 74 to 57 drubbing. The 74 points Alcoholnics scored set the high mark for the league this week.

The win brings Alcoholnics' record to 2 - 0, while dropping Jerrays Jerryatricians to 0 - 2.

James Cook separated himself from the rest of the crew on Alcoholnics, producing 21 points. Cook overperformed his expectations by more than any other player. He racked up three rushing scores before the start of the first half on Thursday.

George Kittle helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 4 points. Kittle's 9 point performance was the most that any tight end collected this week.

Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians had many underperformers, but Ezekiel Elliott stood out, putting up zero points. CeeDee Lamb and Chris Godwin, scoring 22 points, did their best to make a game of it for Jerrays Jerryatricians.

Alcoholnics will face off against The Brainers next week. The game ought to be quite the strategic battle as it will feature the best gameday coaches in the league so far. As for Jerrays Jerryatricians, they will match up with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Zombie Werewolves earned a pretty comfortable victory over The Brainers, winning 55 to 42. The game evens up both teams' records at 1 - 1.

Zombie Werewolves were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. J.K. Dobbins topped the running back average by 4.4 points to lead the team, while Stefon Diggs fell only 4.4 points short of the average WR in bringing up the rear. Dobbins didn't just dodge defenders to score on this play, he did it with style.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of chefs cooking up this week's loss for The Brainers. Jason Sanders was the worst of a five man group of underperformers, racking up only 4 points.1 That was the fewest of any kicker this week. The Brainers also had to deal with a bad performance from Amari Cooper, who scored exactly zero points.

Adding injury to insult, The Brainers had a key player go down. Tua Tagovailoa tossed three picks before leaving Thursday's contest with a concussion (and some suspect it might be his last game).

The loss this week certainly wasn't Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's fault. He started David Montgomery instead of Jerome Ford, despite the experts' prediction that Ford should have played.

This decision gave The Brainers a nice 5 point bonus, and makes it back-to-back weeks where Coach Rittenhouse has outsmarted the experts.

Next week, The Brainers will be playing Alcoholnics. Coach Nick Claeboe's team just had a huge week, having posted 74 points. Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will be playing Pinko Commie Bastards.

The Big Red Machine came into the game as the biggest favorite this week and proceeded to make the experts look good. They perfectly destroyed Space Lords, winning 69 to 34. That makes it back-to-back blowout games for both of these teams, with The Big Red Machine coming out on the right side both times.

The win brings The Big Red Machine's record to 2 - 0, while dropping Space Lords to 1 - 1.

The bottom part of Coach Billy Waters' draft came through for him this week. Brandon Aubrey scored 17 points, and the Texans Defense/ST was close behind with 15. The Texans' 15 points topped all but one Defense/ST this week.

The Big Red Machine won despite bad games from Josh Allen, Bijan Robinson, and Deebo Samuel, who together delivered 17 points. Allen fell farther short of his expected points than any other player this week.

Meanwhile, Coach Brad Householder will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. Space Lords were brought down by seven underperformers, the worst of whom was Anthony Richardson (4 points).1 No other quarterback scored fewer points than that this week. That was quite a falloff from last week, when he scored 22 points.

Brandin Cooks falling 5.6 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Cooks might be heading back to the waiver wire after getting picked up before this game. Space Lords only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Travis Etienne scoring 8 points.2

The schedule for The Big Red Machine brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters around next week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will come into next week having failed to break the 45 point mark yet. Meanwhile, Space Lords will collide with Homesick Abortions.

Pinko Commie Bastards didn't have too much trouble with Big Tex's Pillow Biters this week, winning 53 to 39. The win brings Pinko Commie Bastards' record to 2 - 0, while dropping Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 0 - 2.

Pinko Commie Bastards relied heavily on Ka'imi Fairbairn, who notched 20 points. That was good for 2nd place among all kickers this week.

Pinko Commie Bastards got the win despite leaving Marvin Harrison Jr. and his 19 points on the bench. Harrison Jr. did better than any player actually in Pinko Commie Bastards' starting lineup this week.1

Meanwhile, it will be difficult for Coach William Hayes to fault any one player for the loss. Big Tex's Pillow Biters had seven underperformers, with Rachaad White (zero points) being the worst. Another underperformer, Big Tex's Pillow Biters' defense (the Jaguars), were the worst at their position this week.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters did get some solace this week in the form of Nico Collins, who came up with 12 points. Collins simply refused to be taken down as he scored his first touchdown of the season.

Next week will see Pinko Commie Bastards taking on the 1 - 1 Zombie Werewolves. Pinko Commie Bastards have now been an underdog in both the last two weeks, and won both times. Maybe they'll get a bit more credit going into their next one.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will take on The Big Red Machine next week. The Big Red Machine have been the highest scoring team so far this year.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum just outclassed Homesick Abortions this week, earning a 59 to 48 victory. The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back to even at 1 - 1. The loss drops Homesick Abortions' record to 0 - 2.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had three players lead the way, with Davante Adams, Breece Hall, and the Chiefs Defense/ST recording 32 points. While Adams had plenty of solid plays on Sunday, the most impressive was when he somehow pulled this ball in for a catch.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions had plenty of duds in the loss. They were brought down by six underperformers, the worst of whom was Greg Zuerlein (6 points).1 Mike Evans has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 6.2 fewer points than he was expected to. Coach Chris Crowder certainly can't blame the loss on Justin Jefferson, who scored 13 points.

Next week, Homesick Abortions will take on the 1 - 1 Space Lords. That team is not coming in very hot, after finishing this week with only 34 points. That said, Space Lords will bring the league's top player so far, Alvin Kamara, into the game. As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will square off against Jerrays Jerryatricians next week.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum didn't give Jerrays Jerryatricians a chance this week, blowing past them 58 to 33. The two teams combined for the lowest score so far this season.

The loss drops Jerrays Jerryatricians to 0 - 3, and sinks them to the bottom of our internal power rankings. The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 2 - 1.

Ja'Marr Chase was the clear leader on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this week, recording 17 points. That was the 2nd most of any wide receiver this week. He scored his first touchdown of the season on Monday, then scored his second a few quarters later.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got the benefit of the 3rd straight game that Breece Hall exceeded his expectations.

Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians saw six different players underperform, and while none of them particularly stuck out, Ezekiel Elliott and his zero points was officially the worst. Zeke has now failed to exceed the average running back's point total in any week this year.

Jerrays Jerryatricians also had to deal with a poor effort from the Buccaneers Defense/ST (7.9 points below expected). The Buccaneers' 2 points were fewer than every other Defense/ST this season. Jerrays Jerryatricians only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Chris Godwin scoring 8 points.1

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will face off against Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will come into the game looking for their first win. Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians will be playing Zombie Werewolves.

After yet another victory, we here at Fantasy Journalist now officially apologize to Coach Billy Waters for our disapproving draft report. The Big Red Machine got the job done against Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 82 to 74. With the win and those 82 points, The Big Red Machine now sits at the top of every component in the CBS power rankings.

The win brings The Big Red Machine to 3 - 0, a far cry from where we expected after we pegged them as the worst team coming out of the draft. The loss makes it three in a row for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, which gives them a 0 - 3 record.

The Big Red Machine had a one-man wrecking crew, with Josh Allen delivering 27 points. Allen topped all but one player this week with that performance.1 Coach Waters also helped out his own cause by going against the experts and starting the Seahawks Defense/ST, who scored 12 points.

Meanwhile, Rachaad White loomed large in the loss for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, dropping zero points. White has now failed to hit his expected points in any game so far this year.

The four overperformers on Coach William Hayes' squad did their part to balance things out (and then some). The Packers Defense/ST were the best of them, scoring 21 points. No other Defense/ST scored more points than that this week.

The Big Red Machine will be going against Homesick Abortions next week. Homesick Abortions will come into the game looking for their first win. Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Space Lords failed to show up for last week's contest, but turned things way around this week. They earned a nice victory over Homesick Abortions, winning 77 to 65. Just another good result from the leagues' all-time leader in winning percentage.

The defeat puts Homesick Abortions on a three game losing streak, dropping their record to 0 - 3. The win brings Space Lords to 2 - 1.

Saquon Barkley was the key contributor for Space Lords, tallying 22 points. That performance topped all but three players this week.1 He managed to outrun half of New Orleans' defenders on this wild 65-yard score.

SaQuads got help from three other players, including 12 points from DK Metcalf.

Over in the loser's circle, Homesick Abortions got a big game from Kyren Williams. Williams scored 23 points, which were the most that any running back collected this week. Homesick Abortions' also got a good performance from Brock Purdy, but nobody else really stepped up.

Coach Chris Crowder will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. The 49ers Defense/ST was the worst of a five man group of underperformers on Homesick Abortions, totaling only 3 points.2 The 49ers have now failed to hit their expected points in any game so far this year.

Next week, Homesick Abortions will be playing The Big Red Machine, who have been the highest scoring team so far this year. The Big Red Machine will also come into the game undefeated. As for Space Lords, they will square off against Alcoholnics.

In a week that featured three blowouts, this was the biggest. Zombie Werewolves took everything from Pinko Commie Bastards but the kitchen sink this week, winning 75 to 32. The 43 point margin that separated these teams represents the biggest blowout of the season so far.

The win brings Zombie Werewolves' record to 2 - 1, while dropping Pinko Commie Bastards to an identical 2 - 1.

Zombie Werewolves got a nice group performance in the win, as five players beat their positional averages. Derrick Henry was the first among equals, notching 20 points.1 That performance was good for 5th place among all players this week.2 He has also now exceeded his points expectations in every game so far this year.

Zombie Werewolves also got the benefit of a 21 point performance from Joe Burrow. Burrow finally put up some big passing numbers this week (324 yards and three touchdowns) but it still wasn't enough to win. Although Coach Patrick jolle got the win, they cannot have been happy with Jake Elliott's performance this week. Elliott failed to show up, scoring 1 point.

Meanwhile, the loss for Pinko Commie Bastards came down to a pretty simple factor: they didn't go anywhere. Collectively, they only managed to gain 193 yards rushing and receiving. That was the lowest yards gained total of any team this week. James Conner was clearly the weakest link for Coach Erran Yearty and the gang as he posted 25 total yards.

The schedule for Zombie Werewolves brings Jerrays Jerryatricians around next week. Points were in short supply for that team this week, as they could only scrounge up 33 of them. Jerrays Jerryatricians will also come into the game looking for their first win. Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will take on The Brainers.

Last year's playoff loss at the hands of Alcoholnics might still be ringing in Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's ears, but he got some measure of revenge this week. The Brainers destroyed Alcoholnics, winning 67 to 41. The win brings The Brainers' record to 2 - 1, while dropping Alcoholnics to a matching 2 - 1.

The Brainers were led by the wide receiver tag team of Amari Cooper and Malik Nabers, who together produced 31 points. Cooper didn't waste a second on Sunday, scoring this 24-yard TD on the team's first play from scrimmage.

Coach Rittenhouse's squad won despite bad games from Rhamondre Stevenson and Jalen Hurts, who together put up 2 points. Stevenson scored -1 points, which set the new low mark for points in a week this season.

Alcoholnics really lost this game as a team. They had five underperformers, with De'Von Achane (2 points) being the worst.1 Achane had to have given the most disappointing performance, having been projected to score 14.6 points. Alcoholnics were also hurt by the 3rd straight game that Brandon Aiyuk has failed to exceed his expected points.

On the coaching front, both sides made mistakes this week. While Coach Rittenhouse might have gotten the victory, it wasn't due to his efforts. He went with Rhamondre Stevenson over the higher ranked David Montgomery.

This decision shaved 12 points from The Brainers' score, which--thankfully for Coach Rittenhouse--didn't matter much this game. Coach Rittenhouse's decisions this week did cost him his title as the best gameday coach in the league (Coach Nick Claeboe wears the crown now).

Coach Nick Claeboe seems to have forgotten to set his lineup this week. He left Evan Engram in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. He also left the Ravens Defense/ST in the lineup (the Saints Defense/ST would have been 5 points better).

Next week will see The Brainers taking on the 2 - 1 Pinko Commie Bastards. As for Alcoholnics, they will match up with Space Lords.

The Big Red Machine came into this week's match-up on a three-game win streak, but Homesick Abortions put an end to that. Homesick Abortions thoroughly dominated The Big Red Machine, winning 69 to 21. That 48 point win is the biggest blowout so far this season.

The win is the first of the season for Homesick Abortions, making their record 1 - 3. The loss is the first of the season for The Big Red Machine, dropping their record to 3 - 1.

The 49ers Defense/ST made it rain for Homesick Abortions, delivering 21 points. No other Defense/ST scored more points than that this week. Quite an improvement from last week, when they managed only 3 points.

Homesick Abortions also got the benefit of the 4th straight game that Justin Jefferson exceeded his expectations. Coach Chris Crowder's squad overcame bad performances from three players: Najee Harris, Brock Purdy, and Isaiah Likely, who collectively came up with 11 points. Coach Crowder has to be used to bad scores from Harris, who has been the worst performer on Homesick Abortions more times than any other player.

Meanwhile, Coach Billy Waters can look to Carson Steele and Josh Allen when passing out blame for the loss. The two combined to score zero points. Steele scored -2 points, which set the new low mark for points in a week this season. He lost a fumble on KC's first drive of the game, which might explain why he didn't get another touch after the first quarter.

Steele and Allen were joined by four other underperformers, including Zay Flowers, who scored exactly zero points. The Big Red Machine only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Brandon Aubrey scoring 11 points.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. Homesick Abortions will be going against Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will come into the game looking for their first win.

The Big Red Machine has a difficult three game stretch starting next week against Zombie Werewolves. Zombie Werewolves comes into the match on a three game winning streak.

After losing three straight games, Coach William Hayes' squad figured: 'Why not another?' Big Tex's Pillow Biters just didn't have enough against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, losing 56 to 51.

The victory makes it three in a row for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, bringing their record to 3 - 1. The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 0 - 4.

Coach Robert Wetzel used early draft picks on Ja'Marr Chase and C.J. Stroud, and they came through for them this week. Chase scored 11 points, while Stroud scored 16. Stroud's uncanny ability to extend plays was on full display this week.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum managed to rise above the bad efforts from Breece Hall and Matt Prater (2 points total).

Meanwhile, Coach Hayes will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. Big Tex's Pillow Biters had five underperformers, with Quentin Johnston (zero points) being the worst.

The outcome of this one would have been different if Coach Hayes had gotten all of his lineup picks right. He started Harrison Butker instead of Tyler Bass, despite the experts' prediction that Bass should have played.

This decision shaved 1 point from Big Tex's Pillow Biters' score. If Coach Hayes had left Butker on the bench and also started Jayden Daniels, Big Tex's Pillow Biters would have won the game.

Next week will see Big Tex's Pillow Biters taking on the 1 - 3 Homesick Abortions. Homesick Abortions will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 65+ point games.

It was important for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to get the win over an easy opponent this week, as its next two games are against winning teams, starting with Space Lords next week. Space Lords will enter the game with Alvin Kamara, who has been the best player in the league so far.

Coach Erran Yearty has to be kicking himself for his lineup decisions this week. He started Tony Pollard instead of Kenneth Walker III, despite the experts' prediction that Walker III should have played.

This terrible decision took a 12 point chunk out of Pinko Commie Bastards' final score and cost them the game, as they got beat by The Brainers (3 - 1), 60 to 53.

The Brainers had several players step up in the win, as four starters beat their positional averages. Jahmyr Gibbs was just a bit ahead of the others, putting up 15 points. The Brainers also got a better-than-expected performance from David Montgomery, who beat his projections by 4 points. Montgomery has now exceeded the average running back's performance in every game so far this year.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards didn't have anybody who was too hot, or too cold, but this Goldilocks outcome was not 'just right'. The Cowboys Defense/ST was the 'worst' player, scoring 5, while James Conner was the best on the team with 11.1 The Cowboys have now underperformed the league average Defense/ST in three straight games.

Next week, Pinko Commie Bastards will take on the 2 - 2 Alcoholnics. The matchup will feature the two top TE's in the league, as Taysom Hill meets up with George Kittle.

As for The Brainers, they will match up with Jerrays Jerryatricians next week. Jerrays Jerryatricians will come into the game looking for their first win.

Zombie Werewolves had to be wary coming into this game after losing both matches against Jerrays Jerryatricians last season. Thankfully for Coach Patrick jolle, the past was not prelude. Zombie Werewolves strolled past Jerrays Jerryatricians, winning 67 to 54. No big surprise seeing Zombie Werewolves get the win, as they were the biggest favorite of any team this week.

With the win, they moved to 3 - 1, good for the top spot in the East Side division. This loss brings Jerrays Jerryatricians' losing streak to four in a row, which leaves them with a 0 - 4 record.

Zombie Werewolves relied heavily on Derrick Henry, who posted 22 points. After King Henry's performance this week, he moved up to being the 2nd best player in the league. He set the tone in Baltimore early, scoring this massive touchdown on the Raven's first play of the night.

Henry was joined by three other overperformers, including Amon-Ra St. Brown, who produced 13 points. Zombie Werewolves would have won by a more comfortable margin if Zombie Werewolves had Justin Fields and his 23 points in the starting lineup. Fields has been making his case to start recently, having scored 37 points over the past two weeks.

Younghoe Koo did his best to give Jerrays Jerryatricians a chance to win. Koo scored 20 points, which were good for 2nd place among all kickers this week. Unfortunately for Jerrays Jerryatricians, he was the only player on the whole team that had a legit good performance.

Indeed, this week's loss was a true group effort. Jerrays Jerryatricians were brought down by five underperformers, the worst of whom was Ezekiel Elliott (zero points).1 Bad performances are pretty common these days for Elliott, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games. Perhaps not coincidentally, he has also been the worst player on Jerrays Jerryatricians more than anybody else on the team.

Next week will see Zombie Werewolves taking on the 3 - 1 Big Red Machine. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 21 points this week. Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians will collide with The Brainers.

Space Lords had a cool 100% winning percentage all-time against Alcoholnics, and Coach Brad Householder delivered more pain this week. Space Lords slid by Alcoholnics, winning 54 to 50. The 4 point margin that separated these two teams is the smallest gap of the season so far.

The win brings Space Lords' record to 3 - 1, while dropping Alcoholnics to 2 - 2.

Jayden Reed and Alvin Kamara were the key contributors for Space Lords, racking up 12 and 11 points, respectively. Reed's 12 point performance this week moves him up to being the 3rd best wide receiver in the league this season. He made this leaping TD grab to get Green Bay on the board on Sunday.

Alcoholnics suffered from two goose eggs, with De'Von Achane and Garrett Wilson failing to contribute anything. Despite the loss, Alcoholnics had three standouts, with Lamar Jackson, George Kittle, and Jordan Mason recording 40 points.

Coach Nick Claeboe tried to second guess the experts this week when setting his lineup, and the result was very costly. He went with the Saints Defense/ST over the higher ranked the Ravens Defense/ST.

This decision cost Alcoholnics a total of 6 points, which cost them the game. This makes it back-to-back weeks where Coach Claeboe has cost his team points.

The schedule for Space Lords brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum around next week. Meanwhile, Alcoholnics will take on Pinko Commie Bastards.

Coming into the game, Pinko Commie Bastards had scored the fewest points of any team over the last three weeks. True to form, they got weak results this week. Alcoholnics demolished Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 72 to 48. Pinko Commie Bastards have now failed to top their projections in any of the past four weeks.

Another defeat makes it three in a row for Pinko Commie Bastards, and puts their record at 2 - 3. The win brings Alcoholnics to 3 - 2.

Lamar Jackson separated himself from the rest of the crew on Alcoholnics, delivering 26 points. Jackson simply refused to go down before tossing this clutch touchdown on Sunday.

In addition to Jackson, Alcoholnics got three other good efforts, including 9 points from George Kittle. No surprise there, as he is currently the best tight end in the league.

Tucker Kraft was kept on Alcoholnics' bench in the victory, but he didn't let that discourage him, as he went off for 17 points. Kraft did better than any player actually in Alcoholnics' starting lineup this week.1

Patrick Mahomes has been dead weight throughout Pinko Commie Bastards's losing streak, and this week brought more of the same. Showtime was one of three big underperformers, combining with Marvin Harrison Jr. and Kenneth Walker III to drop 8 points. Mahomes plunked down a 5 point performance, which was the worst of any player this week.2

Pinko Commie Bastards were also hurt by the 5th straight game that Dalton Schultz has failed to exceed his expected points. Pinko Commie Bastards did get a couple of good, but ultimately futile, efforts from Drake London and the Bears Defense/ST, who came up with a total of 27 points.

Pinko Commie Bastards will face off against Zombie Werewolves next week. Bad timing for Pinko Commie Bastards, as Zombie Werewolves will come into the matchup on a four game winning streak. That game will see both of this week's top quarterbacks square off, when Kirk Cousins matches up against Joe Burrow.

As for Alcoholnics, they will square off against Jerrays Jerryatricians next week. One of those teams will face a big comedown from this week, as they both won easily.

Zombie Werewolves didn't break a sweat against The Big Red Machine this week, winning 65 to 46. Zombie Werewolves have now won four games in a row, which brings their record to 4 - 1. The loss drops The Big Red Machine's record to 3 - 2.

Zombie Werewolves didn't have any huge performances this week, but also didn't have anybody who really dropped the ball. Rashid Shaheed paced the team by beating the average wide receiver by 4 points, while Stefon Diggs (2 points worse than the average wide receiver) was the worst on the team.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of chefs cooking up this week's loss for The Big Red Machine. They had five underperformers, with Deebo Samuel (zero points) being the worst. Underperforming is the new normal for Samuel, who has gone three straight games without hitting his projected point total. The Big Red Machine only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with the Seahawks Defense/ST scoring 10 points.

Softening the loss a bit, The Big Red Machine looks like they may have found a real player off the discard pile. Coach Billy Waters picked up Baker Mayfield off the waiver wire and saw him score 20 points (on the bench, but still).

Coach Patrick jolle can rest a bit after this big victory since the next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the matchup on a three game losing streak.

Meanwhile, The Big Red Machine will collide with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. The Big Red Machine will have long odds to win if Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum scores another 82 points, like they did this week.

Coach Chris Crowder has had the most stable lineup in the league, but that consistency wasn't helpful this week. He left Mike Evans and Jason Myers on the bench in favor of Justin Jefferson and Greg Zuerlein, who were both expected to score less.

These terrible decisions took a 16 point chunk out of Homesick Abortions' final score, which ultimately didn't make a difference in the final outcome as they ended up on top against Big Tex's Pillow Biters (0 - 5), winning 64 to 58.

Homesick Abortions put together a solid Sunday. DJ Moore and Isaiah Likely took the lead, scoring 29 points between them. Likely's performance this week ended a three game streak of failing to hit his projections.

Meanwhile, Coach William Hayes' squad just couldn't quite get it going. Courtland Sutton was the worst of a four man group of underperformers, scoring only 1 point. This is the 2nd time this year that he was the worst starter on his team.

Going into Monday night, Big Tex's Pillow Biters were in a tough spot. Coach Hayes needed Harrison Butker and Travis Kelce to come up with 23 points. Butker and Kelce gave it a good effort, but their 17 points weren't enough.

Homesick Abortions' next game will be against Space Lords in a rematch from week three. Homesick Abortions lost the previous matchup 77 to 65. Coach Crowder will no doubt be hoping that Brock Purdy can drop 20 points like he did when he last went against Space Lords. Big Tex's Pillow Biters' loss this week is especially bad as it represented the last easy game they will have for a while. The next three games are against winning teams, starting with The Brainers next week.

After losing four straight games, Coach Todd Marquis' squad finally had enough. Jerrays Jerryatricians made it look easy against The Brainers, winning 58 to 38. The 58 points that Jerrays Jerryatricians dropped were the most they scored so far this year.

Jerrays Jerryatricians got off the schneid with this win. They now sit at 1 - 4. The loss drops The Brainers' record to 3 - 2.

Younghoe Koo was the clear leader on Jerrays Jerryatricians this week, putting up 17 points. Koo topped all kickers this week with that performance.

The only real damper on Jerrays Jerryatricians' victory came from Justice Hill, who scored zero points. Coach Marquis found out why he was available on the waiver wire this week.

Meanwhile, it will be difficult for Coach Chuck Rittenhouse to fault any one player for the loss. The Brainers were brought down by six underperformers, the worst of whom was Jauan Jennings (zero points). Jerome Ford added to The Brainers' troubles, scoring only 2 points. Coach Rittenhouse was no doubt hoping for more from Ford's first venture off the bench.

The Brainers only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Jordan Love scoring 13 points.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Coach Marquis should hope that the victory over The Brainers establishes a pattern, as the next three games for Jerrays Jerryatricians are against winning teams, starting with Alcoholnics next week.

As for The Brainers, they will match up with Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will come into the game looking for their first win.

Ja'Marr Chase was expected to be the top performing WR this week, and that's exactly what he was. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum stomped all over Space Lords 82 to 46 behind 22 points from Chase. He is on quite a hot streak, performing better than any other starter over the last three weeks. He passed Jerry Rice for the fifth-most receiving yards by a player through 50 career games on Sunday.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum also got a big effort from the Vikings Defense/ST (5.9 points above expected). The Vikings have now exceeded their points expectations in every game so far this year.

Meanwhile, there's no pointing fingers in Space Lords' loss as they failed all over the place. DK Metcalf was the worst of a six man group of underperformers, totaling zero points. Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for Metcalf, who has seen his point total drop in each of the last three weeks.

The only real legit performance that Space Lords got came courtesy of The Broncos Defense/ST, which scored 16 points. After their performance this week, the Broncos are looking like a darn good waiver wire pickup.

With the win, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum moved to 4 - 1, good for the top spot in the West Side division. The loss drops Space Lords' record to 3 - 2.

The West Side division lead will be at stake when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum takes on The Big Red Machine next week. That contest will be a rematch from week one, when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum ended up getting crushed by 25 points.

Meanwhile, Space Lords will be playing Homesick Abortions. Homesick Abortions will have to put their running back depth to the test in that one, as Kyren Williams has his bye week.

The Big Red Machine made sure that they didn't become the 5th straight team to lose to Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. The Big Red Machine crushed Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 92 to 69. Besides the victory, Coach Billy Waters can brag that he posted the highest score in the league so far.

With the win, The Big Red Machine moved to 4 - 2, good for the top spot in the West Side division. The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to an identical 4 - 2.

The Big Red Machine had all (well, most) hands on deck in this win, with seven players beating their positional averages. Bijan Robinson was the best of the bunch, scoring 16 points.1 Robinson had two rushing TDs before the second half on Sunday.

Another player contributing was Deebo Samuel, who came up with 12 points. Apparently, Deebo must have felt bad after last week's 0 point effort.

Meanwhile, Coach Robert Wetzel can blame the loss on Darnell Mooney, Ja'Marr Chase, and the Eagles Defense/ST, who together managed only 11 points. Chase's performance this week broke his three game streak of surpassing his projections.

Next week, The Big Red Machine will be playing Space Lords. Coach Waters is getting Space Lords at the right time, as they will limp into next week's game having posted less than 50 points each of the last two weeks.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will be playing Homesick Abortions. These two teams squared off in week two, when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won 59 to 48.

Scoring the fewest points in the league for the week is bad strategy. Just ask Coach Brad Householder. Space Lords could not make it much of a game, losing to Homesick Abortions 53 to 35. The two teams combined to score the fewest points so far this season.

The win makes it three in a row for Homesick Abortions, giving them a record of 3 - 3. The loss drops Space Lords' record to a matching 3 - 3.

Brock Purdy was the key contributor for Homesick Abortions, totaling 21 points. This is the 1st time this year that Mr. Relevant has paced Homesick Abortions. He was locked-in on Thursday night, especially on picture-perfect plays like this.

The only other player doing well on Homesick Abortions was Najee Harris, who scored 11 points.

Space Lords, meanwhile, were having a terrible time moving the ball down the field, with the whole team gaining only 194 yards. No other team gained fewer total yards this week. Space Lords saw five different players underperform in that category, and while none of them particularly stuck out, Dallas Goedert and his 0 total yards was officially the worst.

Space Lords will be going against The Big Red Machine next week. Space Lords might need a big game to win that matchup, as The Big Red Machine comes into the game fresh off a 92 point performance. As for Homesick Abortions, they will square off against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters showed off the form that earned them the worst record in the league going into this week. They got clobbered by The Brainers, losing 72 to 50.

The defeat is the 6th in a row for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, putting their record at 0 - 6. The win brings The Brainers to 4 - 2.

The Brainers were led by the two man wrecking crew of Jordan Love and David Montgomery, who combined for 54% of The Brainers' points. That makes it five straight games of overperforming expectations for Montgomery. He celebrated one of his touchdowns in an iconic fashion.

In addition to Love and Montgomery, The Brainers also got nice games from A.J. Brown and Trey McBride. McBride scored 4 points, which is the most he's gotten so far this year.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters had a very balanced lineup, but it was balanced at too low of a level. Jayden Daniels topped the quarterback average by 3.9 points to lead the team, while Rico Dowdle fell only 4.8 points short of the average RB in bringing up the rear.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse has made more lineup changes than any other coach in the league, and this week all that shuffling paid off. He got every lineup spot right. He has now earned his team more than four times as many points as any other coach in the league.

The Brainers' victory over a struggling team bodes well for the squad, as its upcoming schedule doesn't get any harder. The next two games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Pinko Commie Bastards next week. That will be a rematch from week four, when The Brainers won 60 to 53. Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will take on Alcoholnics.

Alcoholnics had gotten terrible production out their wide receivers this season (worst in the league), but this week it was a whole different story. Alcoholnics used sticky hands to power themselves to a 69 to 36 victory over Jerrays Jerryatricians. Terry McLaurin scored 14 points, and Garrett Wilson was close behind with 11.

George Kittle helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 7.8 points. Kittle sure has the fundamentals down: just look at his footwork on this TD.

Meanwhile, Dak Prescott was the main culprit in Jerrays Jerryatricians' loss, scoring -1 points. That was fewer than every other quarterback this season. His performance this week definitively ended a three game streak of beating the experts' projections.

Adding to their problems, one of Jerrays Jerryatricians' running backs, Justice Hill, was the worst at his position. On top of the loss, Coach Todd Marquis took some long-term damage to their lineup. Chris Olave only caught one pass on Sunday but he probably wishes he hadn't: he was hit, fumbled the ball, and was ruled out with a concussion.

The win brings Alcoholnics' record to 4 - 2, while dropping Jerrays Jerryatricians to 1 - 5.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. Coach Nick Claeboe should hope that the victory over a sub-.500 team like Jerrays Jerryatricians establishes a pattern, as their next game is against league doormat Big Tex's Pillow Biters. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will come into the game looking for their first win.

Jerrays Jerryatricians will try to cool off Zombie Werewolves next week. Zombie Werewolves are coming in hot, having won five games in a row. The game will be a rematch from week four, and Coach Marquis will no doubt be worried that Derrick Henry will drop another 22 points for Zombie Werewolves like he did the last time those teams faced off.

The omens did not look good for Pinko Commie Bastards coming into the game. They came into the game on a three game losing streak, while Zombie Werewolves came into the game on a four game winning streak. Both teams lived up (or down) to expectations.

Zombie Werewolves got past Pinko Commie Bastards without much trouble, winning 75 to 57. The win brings Zombie Werewolves to 5 - 1, and sends them to the top of our internal power rankings. The loss drops Pinko Commie Bastards' record to 2 - 4.

Coach Patrick jolle put Cole Kmet into the lineup for the first time, and he came through. Kmet teamed up with Derrick Henry to put up 33 points. After Kmet's performance this week, he moved up to being the 2nd best tight end in the league. He proved he can do it all this week: just after scoring a touchdown, he came in as the emergency long snapper on the PAT (which was successful).

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards had three stooges, with Marvin Harrison Jr., Kirk Cousins, and Dalton Schultz racking up 10 points. That continues a theme for Schultz, who is yet to top the average tight end's point total in any week so far.

Luckily for Coach Jolle, they will go straight from the sub-.500 Pinko Commie Bastards to playing the dreadful Jerrays Jerryatricians. As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will match up with The Brainers.

Coach Chris Crowder picked a bad week to make a bad lineup. He started two players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. One of those picks, Brock Purdy, worked out. The other pick, Austin Ekeler, did not.

While these moves were somewhat defensible, they cost Homesick Abortions a total of 10 points, which ended up costing them the game, as Homesick Abortions (3 - 4) couldn't seal the deal against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (5 - 2), losing 73 to 70.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won with a balanced effort, as five players outperformed their positional averages. Austin Seibert was the first among equals, dropping 17 points. Seibert has now overperformed the experts' predictions in six straight games.

Meanwhile, Austin Ekeler loomed large in the loss for Homesick Abortions, notching zero points. That makes it three straight games where Ekeler has underperformed the league average running back.

In most other games, Homesick Abortions' five overperforming players (led by Kyren Williams, 15 points) would have brought home a win. Williams showed off his brutal stiff arm and football IQ on this dominant run.

Losing to a good team better not become a pattern for Homesick Abortions, as its next two games are also against winning teams, starting with The Big Red Machine next week. Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on Pinko Commie Bastards. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will get to face Pinko Commie Bastards while that squad is in the middle of a five game losing streak.

The Brainers were able to grind out a solid victory this week against Pinko Commie Bastards, winning by a score of 62 to 53. The win is more of the same for The Brainers, who won the last game with Pinko Commie Bastards by the score of 60 to 53.

The win was The Brainers' 4th in their last five games, bringing their record to 5 - 2. The loss makes it five in a row for Pinko Commie Bastards, dropping their record to 2 - 5.

The Brainers relied heavily on Jahmyr Gibbs, who recorded 19 points. That performance was good for 2nd place among all players this week.1 He broke a few ankles on this huge run to get Detroit on the board on Sunday.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's squad did well despite having to deal with David Montgomery and Evan McPherson, who combined to score 3 points. Montgomery hopefully has some credit left over from last week's 16 point performance.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards can place the blame for this loss squarely on Kirk Cousins, who scored only 3 points.2 Tyreek Hill falling 6 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. It's yet another disappointing day for Hill, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in five straight games.

There was no way Coach Rittenhouse's team was looking ahead this week, as next week's game is against bottom dweller Jerrays Jerryatricians. The game will be a rematch from week five, but The Brainers will have A.J. Brown available, who had his bye week during the first matchup. Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will collide with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week.

After last week's blowout, The Big Red Machine got a big change of pace with this week's tight contest versus Space Lords. The result, happily, was the same. They just slipped by Space Lords, 59 to 58. No team this season has had to suffer a closer loss than the one Space Lords endured this week.

The loss drops Space Lords to 3 - 4, the first time they've been below .500 this year. The win brings The Big Red Machine to 5 - 2.

The Commanders Defense/ST led a very balanced group of four overperformers for The Big Red Machine this week, tallying 15 points.1 The game wouldn't have been as close if Coach Billy Waters had put Baker Mayfield (21 points) in the lineup. Coach Waters may want to consider putting Mayfield in the starting lineup, after he totaled 85 points in the last four weeks.

Meanwhile, Space Lords had three players bring nothing to the table, with Jayden Reed, Cairo Santos, and Alvin Kamara all producing big fat 0's. Then again, Cairo did have a bye this week, so it's hard to fault him too much.

Despite the loss, Space Lords had three standouts, with the Broncos Defense/ST, Saquon Barkley, and DK Metcalf delivering 43 points. Barkley obliterated his former team on Sunday: his 187 total yards were 68 more than the Giants had as a whole.

The Big Red Machine will get a chance to avenge the largest loss that any team has suffered this season (48 points) when they rematch against Homesick Abortions next week. As for Space Lords, they will square off against Big Tex's Pillow Biters. That team is not coming in very hot, after finishing this week with only 25 points. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will also come into the game looking for their first win.

Alcoholnics had lost both matches against Big Tex's Pillow Biters last season, but finally got sweet revenge this week. Alcoholnics (5 - 2) gave Big Tex's Pillow Biters (0 - 7) a 64 to 25 drubbing. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days. Alcoholnics has been involved in three straight blowout games, while this is the 2nd straight blowout game for Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

The game leaves both these teams streaking in opposite directions. The victory makes it three in a row for Alcoholnics. The loss is the 7th straight for Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

Lamar Jackson has been the key player throughout Alcoholnics's winning streak, and came through again this week. Jackson was a one-man wrecking crew, producing 30 points. That was the 2nd most of any quarterback this season. He threw as many touchdowns as he did incompletions (5) on Monday night, tying the Ravens single-game record in the process.

Alcoholnics also got a big effort from Justin Tucker (4.6 points above expected). Tucker has become something of a lodestar for Alcoholnics, as they have never lost when he overperforms his expectations, going 5 - 0.

Jayden Daniels was expected to be the best QB this week, but ended up being the worst. Big Tex's Pillow Biters had many underperformers, but Daniels stood out, putting up only 2 points.1 That made him the worst performer on Big Tex's Pillow Biters for the first time this year. He only played in Washington's opening drive before leaving the game with a rib injury.

Adding to their problems, Big Tex's Pillow Biters' tight end, Travis Kelce, was the worst at his position this week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with the Jaguars Defense/ST scoring 9 points.2

Coach William Hayes might have had a little too much fun last week, as he didn't set his team's lineup. He left Quentin Johnston in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. He also left Jaylen Warren in the lineup (Rachaad White would have been 15 points better). Having cost his team 45 points total, he is the worst game-day coach in the league so far this season.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Something has to give next week when Alcoholnics and Zombie Werewolves clash, as they come into the game on three and six game winning streaks, respectively. That contest will be a rematch from week one, when Alcoholnics won 60 to 54.

Meanwhile, someone will finally get relief when Big Tex's Pillow Biters and Space Lords clash, as they come into the game on seven and three game losing streaks, respectively. The game will be a rematch from week one, and Coach Hayes needs to be concerned about Saquon Barkley, who scored 24 points for Space Lords the last time these two teams met.

Zombie Werewolves had the best running backs coming into this game, and they came through for Coach Patrick jolle once again. Zombie Werewolves ran their way to a 83 to 57 win over Jerrays Jerryatricians. Joe Mixon scored 17 points, while Derrick Henry scored 14. Mixon scored a pair of rushing touchdowns on Sunday, but Packers fans wouldn't let him celebrate with a Lambeau Leap.

Zombie Werewolves also got a better-than-expected performance from Mark Andrews, who beat his projections by 11.8 points. Andrews' 14 point performance was the most that any tight end collected this week.

Meanwhile, Younghoe Koo stuck out as the worst performer for Jerrays Jerryatricians, dropping only 2 points. Koo's performance this week ended a three game streak of beating the experts' projections. He is in the midst of a troubling sequence, having seen his point total fall every week for the last three weeks.

Zombie Werewolves have now finished off six straight opponents after this win, which gives them a 6 - 1 record. The loss drops Jerrays Jerryatricians' record to 1 - 6.

Both teams have a tough upcoming schedule. Zombie Werewolves and Alcoholnics play next week in a battle for the East Side division lead. Alcoholnics will get to start the league's hottest player in Lamar Jackson.

Jerrays Jerryatricians' next game will be against The Brainers in a rematch from week five. Jerrays Jerryatricians won the previous matchup in a blowout. However, The Brainers was without A.J. Brown during that game.

Kirk Cousins was probably in Coach Erran Yearty's doghouse after last week's 3 point 'performance'. He might be let out now. Captain Kirk led the way as Pinko Commie Bastards stomped all over Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum 60 to 38. His 25 point performance made him the top performer on Pinko Commie Bastards for the first time this year. He now has eight passing TDs against the Bucs in the month of October, the most any QB has posted against a single opponent in one month.

Pinko Commie Bastards got the win despite leaving Brian Thomas Jr. and his 9 points on the bench. Thomas Jr. has been making his case to start recently, having scored 21 points over the past two weeks.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum had plenty of duds in the loss. The Vikings Defense/ST was the worst of a six man group of underperformers, putting up only 2 points. That's the fewest points that they've scored so far this year. Their performance this week also ended a six game streak of beating the league average.

Davante Adams has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 4.6 fewer points than he was expected to. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Adams, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Ja'Marr Chase scoring 8 points.1

The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to 5 - 3, while the win brings Pinko Commie Bastards to 3 - 5.

Next week will bring a much easier match for Pinko Commie Bastards, as they play the 2-6 Jerrays Jerryatricians. On the other hand, Jerrays Jerryatricians did post a cool 102 points this week.

Meanwhile, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will be playing Space Lords. The game will be a rematch from week five, but Space Lords will have Saquon Barkley, who had his bye week during the first matchup.

By a score of 67 to 58, The Big Red Machine walked away victorious over Homesick Abortions. The Big Red Machine got some measure of revenge on Homesick Abortions for their matchup back in week four, when Homesick Abortions crushed The Big Red Machine 69 to 21.

The Big Red Machine have now won three games in a row, bringing their record to 6 - 2. The loss drops Homesick Abortions' record to 3 - 5.

The Big Red Machine had never lost when DeVonta Smith overperformed his expectations, and that held true again this week. Although The Big Red Machine got a nice group performance in the win, Smith was just a bit ahead of the others, totaling 10 points.1

D'Andre Swift helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 7.8 points. Swift was a highlight machine on Sunday: he scored this 56-yard TD in the third, then jumped clean over a defender in the fourth.

The Big Red Machine won despite bad games from Jake Ferguson, Brandon Aubrey, and Deebo Samuel, who together delivered 10 points. Coach Billy Waters has to be used to bad scores from Ferguson, who has been the worst performer on The Big Red Machine more times than any other player.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions really lost this game as a team. They were brought down by five underperformers, the worst of whom was Jason Myers (4 points).2 That made him the worst performer on Homesick Abortions for the first time this year.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. The schedule for The Big Red Machine brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters around. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will come into the game looking for their first win.

Next week Homesick Abortions will play the 7-1 Zombie Werewolves. A tough game probably wouldn't have been a worry for the Homesick Abortions of two weeks ago, which had just finished winning their 3rd game in a row. Now, having lost their last two, it could be a different story.

Coach Brad Householder looked like they were trying to give away this game with their lineup decisions, but the team just wouldn't quit. Space Lords tightroped past Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 55 to 54. With the win, Space Lords put an end to their three game losing streak.

The win evens up Space Lords' record at 4 - 4. This loss brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters' losing streak to eight in a row, which leaves them with a 0 - 8 record.

Bo Nix separated himself from the rest of the crew on Space Lords, producing 26 points. Nix might have found a home after getting picked up off the waiver wire this week. He posted four total touchdowns on Sunday (though some credit has to go to his receivers).

Space Lords overcame poor performances from Cairo Santos and Alexander Mattison (1 point each) in getting this win. Mattison has now failed to top the league average running back in seven straight games.

Meanwhile, while balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Big Tex's Pillow Biters this week. The Packers Defense/ST was the 'worst' player, scoring 5, while Travis Kelce was the best on the team with 10.1

Both coaches in this game struggled with lineup decisions. Although their team won, Coach Householder didn't have the best game personally. They went with Cairo Santos and Alexander Mattison over the higher ranked Jake Bates and Alvin Kamara.

These decisions cost Space Lords a total of 15 points, which almost cost Coach Householder's team the game. It also made Coach Householder the worst performing gameday coach this week.

Coach William Hayes has to place a big part of the blame for this loss on himself. He left Rico Dowdle in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points.

That cost his team 11 points, which cost his team the game. He seems to have checked out this season, having forgotten to set his lineup for the last two weeks.

Both teams face trouble in the upcoming schedule. Space Lords' next game will be against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum in a rematch from week five. Space Lords ended up getting crushed in the previous matchup by 36 points. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum lost this week, and will be looking to avoid their first back-to-back losses.

Unfortunately for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, they will play The Big Red Machine next week, who is riding a three-game win streak. The game will be a rematch from week three, when the Packers Defense/ST went off for 21 points.

Jerrays Jerryatricians put a 20 point hurting on The Brainers in week five, and came back for seconds this week. Jerrays Jerryatricians destroyed The Brainers, winning 102 to 65. Besides the victory, Coach Todd Marquis can brag that they posted the highest score in the league so far.

The win brings Jerrays Jerryatricians' record to 2 - 6, while dropping The Brainers to 5 - 3.

Two of the key players in this fight were real-life teammates, as Jerrays Jerryatricians' Josh Jacobs squared off against Jordan Love. While they were on the same team, they sure didn't deliver the same result. For Josh Jacobs' part, he totaled 18 points for Jerrays Jerryatricians. Jacobs said he'd be willing to “put the whole team on his back” and he sure did: he posted 127 rushing yards and two TDs.

On the other hand, Jordan Love was not living up to his star status, notching only 1 point. Love left Sunday's game with a groin injury, but not before tossing this pick.

The rest of Coach Marquis' lineup followed Jacobs' lead, scoring 84 more points. That group was led by CeeDee Lamb, who scored 19 points. Lamb topped all but one player this week with that performance.1

Next week will see Jerrays Jerryatricians taking on the 3 - 5 Pinko Commie Bastards. That will be a rematch from week one, when Jerrays Jerryatricians ended up getting crushed by 26 points. The Brainers has a difficult three game stretch starting next week against Alcoholnics.

Zombie Werewolves started week eight with the best record in the league, and finished week eight with the best record in the league. They squeaked past Alcoholnics, winning 61 to 59. With the win, Zombie Werewolves put an end to Alcoholnics' three-game win streak.

The win brings Zombie Werewolves' winning streak to seven games, and gives them a record of 7 - 1. The loss drops Alcoholnics' record to 5 - 3.

Cade Otton was the clear leader on Zombie Werewolves this week, recording 16 points. That makes it three straight games of overperforming expectations for Otton.

Zombie Werewolves won despite bad games from Joe Burrow and the Jets Defense/ST, who together scored 9 points. Underperforming is the new normal for the Jets, who have gone five straight games without hitting their projected point total.

Jordan Mason was clearly the weakest link for Coach Nick Claeboe and the gang as he tallied zero points. That was the fewest of any running back this week. He has now been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks.

Next week, Zombie Werewolves will take on the 3 - 5 Homesick Abortions. The contest will see some top shelf RB play, as Derrick Henry meets up with Kyren Williams.

Next week will feature a mirror image matchup when the 5 - 3 Alcoholnics take on the 5 - 3 Brainers. Alcoholnics will have to play without George Kittle, who has a bye week.

There were several blowouts this week, but none bigger than this one. Zombie Werewolves pounded Homesick Abortions into submission, winning 101 to 0. That 101 point gap represents the biggest victory margin of the season.

With the win, Zombie Werewolves continues their eight-game streak of success, which brings their record to 8 - 1. The loss drops Homesick Abortions to 3 - 6, and sinks them to the bottom of our internal power rankings.

This game featured a matchup of league-leading running backs Derrick Henry and Kyren Williams, but only one of them lived up to expectations. King Henry did great for Zombie Werewolves, dropping 18 points. He scored his 100th career touchdown the same way he's scored many others: simply smashing through defenders.

On the flip side, Williams was not having a typical Kyren Williams week, notching only 4 points. That's the fewest points that he's scored so far this year.

The other players on Zombie Werewolves had Henry's back, coming up with 83 points. Of that crew, Joe Burrow led the way with 28 points. That was 21 points better than Burrow did last week.

Having forgotten to set their lineup, it seems Coach Jolle have returned to the living this week. They started Cade Otton and Matt Gay instead of Mark Andrews and Jake Elliott, despite expert advice to do the exact opposite.

These great decisions netted Coach Jolle an extra 13 points, which just made the final result that much more embarrassing. With the 13 points they added to their team's total today, Coach Jolle are now the best game-day coach in the league, passing Coach Chuck Rittenhouse.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Next week Zombie Werewolves will take on The Brainers in a battle that features the top two gameday coaches in the league. That game will see both of this week's top quarterbacks square off, when Joe Burrow matches up against Jalen Hurts.

Homesick Abortions' next game will be against Big Tex's Pillow Biters in a rematch from week five. Homesick Abortions won the previous matchup 64 to 58. Hopefully, there won't be too many bye week players in the lineup, as it will feature the worst gameday coaches in the league so far.

With a possible nine game losing streak hanging over their heads, Big Tex's Pillow Biters came up big. They skated by The Big Red Machine pretty easily, winning 80 to 60. The win helped Big Tex's Pillow Biters halt The Big Red Machine's three game winning streak.

The win is Big Tex's Pillow Biters' first of the season, which brings their record to 1 - 8. The loss drops The Big Red Machine's record to 6 - 3.

When Coach William Hayes entertained thoughts of winning this game, he probably didn't include the three players that ended up leading the way. Quentin Johnston scored 12 points, Courtland Sutton got 11, and the Jaguars Defense/ST dropped 10. Johnston's 12 point performance made him the top performer on Big Tex's Pillow Biters for the first time this year.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters also got a better-than-expected performance from Chase Brown, who beat his projections by 5.8 points. Brown made a statement on Sunday, posting career-highs in carries (27), rushing yards (120), and receptions (5). The only real bad apple in Big Tex's Pillow Biters' orchard this week was Jonathan Taylor, who scored 2 points.

Meanwhile, D'Andre Swift hadn't dropped the ball for The Big Red Machine since week three's stinker. Well, that run has come to an end. Jake Ferguson, the Saints Defense/ST, and Swift were quite coordinated in their failures for The Big Red Machine. They each posted only 3 points. Swift's performance this week broke his four game streak of surpassing the league average.

Both teams have good news in the upcoming schedule. Big Tex's Pillow Biters' next game will be against Homesick Abortions in a rematch from week five. Big Tex's Pillow Biters lost the previous matchup 64 to 58. Coach Hayes might have a good chance at revenge, since Homesick Abortions will limp into the game on a three game losing streak.

The Big Red Machine better not be making a habit out of losing to a sub .500 team, as they face off against the dreadful Jerrays Jerryatricians next week.

The CBSSports' experts had Saquon Barkley pegged as the best RB this week, and he made them look good. SaQuads was the key component as Space Lords took down Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum handily, winning 77 to 60. His 19 point performance this week moves him up to being the 3rd best player in the league this season. He produced 199 total yards and two touchdowns on Sunday, but even more impressive was when he hurdled a defender…backwards.

Space Lords also got a big effort from Geno Smith (4.4 points above expected). Smith scored 16 points, which is the most he's gotten so far this year.

Meanwhile, Breece Hall and Aaron Jones were both working off the same playbook this week, producing only 3 points for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Coach Robert Wetzel have to be used to bad scores from Hall, who has been the worst performer on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum more times than any other player.

The win gets Space Lords back above .500 at 5 - 4. The loss was Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 5 - 4.

Coach Wetzel are probably happy with how their team has played so far this season, but they have to be concerned about their team's recent performance. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum have now lost their last two games. Coach Wetzel will have to hope things turn around in next week's matchup with Alcoholnics. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum have now been the favorite in both their last two games, and failed to perform both times. The experts might not give them the benefit of the doubt in their next one.

As for Space Lords, they will match up with Pinko Commie Bastards next week.

Pinko Commie Bastards have owned Jerrays Jerryatricians in the past to the tune of a 4 and 1 record, and went ahead and added to that ledger of dominance this week. They made it look easy against Jerrays Jerryatricians, winning 69 to 38. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days. Pinko Commie Bastards has been involved in two straight blowout games, while this is the 4th straight blowout game for Jerrays Jerryatricians.

The win brings Pinko Commie Bastards' record to 4 - 5, while dropping Jerrays Jerryatricians to 2 - 7.

The Chargers Defense/ST was the key contributor for Pinko Commie Bastards, recording 16 points.1 The Chargers topped all but one Defense/ST this week with that performance.

Pinko Commie Bastards overcame bad performances from three players: Tyrone Tracy Jr., Kenneth Walker III, and Tyreek Hill, who collectively came up with 12 points. It's yet another disappointing day for Hill, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in seven straight games.

Meanwhile, this week's loss for Jerrays Jerryatricians was a true group effort. Dak Prescott was the worst of a seven man group of underperformers, tallying only 8 points.2 Dak has now been the worst starter on his team three times this season.

Jerrays Jerryatricians also had to deal with a poor effort from Kyle Pitts (4.4 points below expected). Jerrays Jerryatricians has never won when Pitts failed to hit his expected points, going 0 - 6.

J.K. Dobbins was the only player on the team that didn't underperform, scoring 17 points. The Browns just couldn't stop Dobbins Sunday as he punched in a pair of rushing scores.

There's no time for Pinko Commie Bastards to celebrate a win over a team like Jerrays Jerryatricians, as they face back-to-back tough tests starting next week against Space Lords. As for Jerrays Jerryatricians, they will square off against The Big Red Machine.

The Brainers blew out Alcoholnics in week three. This week, Coach Nick Claeboe got his revenge. Alcoholnics demolished The Brainers, winning 85 to 61. Alcoholnics set their new high mark for the season with those 85 points.

They improve to 6 - 3 after winning four out of their last five games. The Brainers are now 5 - 4 after suffering their first back-to-back losses of the season.

Alcoholnics had several players step up in the win, as five starters beat their positional averages. Garrett Wilson was the best of the bunch, putting up 16 points.1 De'Von Achane chipped in as well, scoring 17 points. Achane slipped through Buffalo's defense almost untouched to even up the score on Sunday.

Although they took the loss, The Brainers got a big game from Jalen Hurts. Hurts scored 23 points, which were good for 2nd place among all quarterbacks this week. Unfortunately, for The Brainers, he both began and ended the list of big performers on the squad.

Coach Rittenhouse will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. The Brainers had four underperformers, with the Bills Defense/ST (3 points) being the worst.2 The Bills' 3 point performance made them the worst performer on The Brainers for the first time this year.

Next week will see The Brainers taking on the 8 - 1 Zombie Werewolves. Coach Patrick jolle's team will come into the game with some momentum, having posted 101 points this week. Zombie Werewolves will also bring the league's top player so far, Derrick Henry, into the game. Meanwhile, Alcoholnics will collide with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum have been relying on Ja'Marr Chase all year, and he came through again this week. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum ended up well ahead of Alcoholnics, winning 80 to 63 behind 33 points from Chase. No other wide receiver has scored more points than that this season.

Sam LaPorta helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 5.2 points. LaPorta scored this TD to get the Lions on the board, then treated fans to an interesting celebration. Sam Darnold provided the only truly sour note for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this week, as he scored -1 points.

Coach Nick Claeboe will find no easy scapegoat for this week's loss. Alcoholnics were brought down by five underperformers, the worst of whom was De'Von Achane (1 point). Achane's momentum from last week's 17 point performance apparently didn't carry over. He has now been the worst performer on Alcoholnics more times than any other player.

The three overperformers on Coach Claeboe's squad did their part to balance things out (and then some). Lamar Jackson was the best of them, scoring 29 points. Jackson has now overperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to 6 - 4, while dropping Alcoholnics to an identical 6 - 4.

Next week's game for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will be against the 2-8 Big Tex's Pillow Biters, which might seem like a walk in the park for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum after having to play Alcoholnics. These two teams squared off in week four, when Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won 56 to 51.

Meanwhile, Alcoholnics will be playing Pinko Commie Bastards. Bad timing for Alcoholnics, as Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the matchup on a three game winning streak. The game will be a rematch from week five, and Coach Claeboe will no doubt be hoping that Lamar Jackson can drop 26 points like he did last time.

If Coach Chuck Rittenhouse was looking for a little excitement in this game after last week's blowout he certainly got it. In the only close game this week, The Brainers just barely got past Zombie Werewolves, winning 69 to 68. The Brainers' win ended Zombie Werewolves' eight game winning streak.

The win brings The Brainers' record to 6 - 4, while dropping Zombie Werewolves to 8 - 2.

The Bills Defense/ST did about as good for The Brainers this week as they did bad last week. The Bills joined up with Jalen Hurts to score 62% of The Brainers' points. The Bills scored 19 points, which made them the top performer on The Brainers for the first time this year. The Brainers is still perfect in games where they overperform, going 3 - 0.

Meanwhile, The Jets Defense/ST and Cade Otton were double trouble for Zombie Werewolves, together scoring only 2 points. The Jets scored 1 point, which was the fewest of any Defense/ST this week. They have now been the worst performer on Zombie Werewolves more times than any other player.

Zombie Werewolves wound up with their high point total courtesy of five overperformers. Joe Burrow scored 30 points to pace the group. For the second time this season, Burrow threw for 300+ passing yards and 4+ touchdowns… and lost to the Ravens.

Coach Patrick jolle's lineup moves played a huge part in Zombie Werewolves' loss. They left Keon Coleman in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. They also left two other players in the lineup when they had better options.

That cost their team 10 points directly (plus whatever the waiver wire would have brought), which cost their team the game. Their decisions this week cost them their title as the best gameday coach in the league (Coach Chuck Rittenhouse wears the crown now).

The Brainers will face off against The Big Red Machine next week. The Big Red Machine won't have Baker Mayfield available to start in that contest.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will take on Space Lords next week. Points were in short supply for that team this week, as they could only scrounge up 25 of them. The contest will see Derrick Henry taking on Saquon Barkley in a battle between the top two running backs in the league.

'The thrill is gone'--at least when it comes to Pinko Commie Bastards' recent games. The previous two games were blowouts, and this week's action was no different. Pinko Commie Bastards gave Space Lords a 52 to 25 drubbing. That 27 point margin was the biggest gap between any two teams this week.

The win makes it three in a row for Pinko Commie Bastards, giving them a record of 5 - 5. The loss drops Space Lords' record to a matching 5 - 5.

Ka'imi Fairbairn led a very balanced group of four overperformers for Pinko Commie Bastards this week, recording 13 points. Fairbairn has now gone six weeks without dipping below the average kicker's points. He has ridden that consistency to become the 4th best player in the league.

Pinko Commie Bastards also got a better-than-expected performance from James Conner, who beat his projections by 5.2 points. Conner almost scored a huge touchdown after this 45-yard catch-and-run (he got his TD two plays later though). The only real damper on Pinko Commie Bastards' victory came from Kirk Cousins, who scored 4 points.

Meanwhile, Matthew Stafford stuck out as the worst performer for Space Lords, scoring only 3 points.1 Coach Brad Householder didn't do their team any favors by starting Evan Engram against the experts' advice. Engram contributed only 2 points.

Next week, Space Lords will be playing Zombie Werewolves. Zombie Werewolves have been racking up the points recently, posting two straight 65+ point games. As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will match up with Alcoholnics next week.

'We can build on this.' Big Tex's Pillow Biters, who stumbled into week ten with the worst record in the league, better hope so. They crushed Homesick Abortions, winning 64 to 41. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days, as both of them were in blowouts last week as well.

Another defeat makes it four in a row for Homesick Abortions, and puts their record at 3 - 7. The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 2 - 8.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters got good efforts from almost everyone on the squad, with six players topping their positional averages. George Pickens was the first among equals, racking up 10 points.1 Pickens' best highlight was this unbelievable touchdown grab (along with a vigorous, if strategically questionable tackle).

Although Coach William Hayes got the win, he cannot have been happy with Jayden Daniels's performance this week. Daniels failed to show up, scoring 4 points. Coach Hayes has to be used to bad scores from Daniels, who has been the worst performer on Big Tex's Pillow Biters more times than any other player.

Meanwhile, there's no pointing fingers in Homesick Abortions' loss as they failed all over the place. They had five underperformers, with Kyren Williams (2 points) being the worst.2 Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for Williams, who has seen his point total drop in each of the last three weeks.

Tank Dell falling 5.6 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Dell's performance in this, the first time he made it into the starting lineup, does not augur much for future playing time. Homesick Abortions only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Brock Purdy scoring 17 points.

Coach Hayes cannot be happy with how his team has played this season, but he has to be enjoying the recent turnaround, having won the past 2 games. He'll hope to keep that momentum going into next week's matchup with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. That contest will be a rematch from week four, when Big Tex's Pillow Biters lost 56 to 51.

Ratings might be a little low when Homesick Abortions takes on Jerrays Jerryatricians next week, as the matchup will feature the two teams in the league that have scored the fewest points.

It wasn't too close for comfort, but it was still pretty close, as The Big Red Machine beat Jerrays Jerryatricians 40 to 35. The two teams combined for the lowest score so far this season.

With the win, The Big Red Machine have now won four out of their last five games, bringing their record to 7 - 3. Jerrays Jerryatricians are now 2 - 8 after losing four out of their last five games.

The Big Red Machine relied heavily on Bijan Robinson, who totaled 18 points. That was the most that any running back collected this week. He took the Saints' defense for a ride when he scored this 37-yard TD.

Given their low point total, it's not surprising that The Big Red Machine had several underperformers (seven to be exact). Jake Ferguson was the worst of them, scoring negative 1 point. That was fewer than every other tight end this season.

Meanwhile, the loss for Jerrays Jerryatricians came down to a pretty simple factor: they didn't go anywhere. Collectively, they only managed to gain 218 yards rushing and receiving. Jerrays Jerryatricians were practicing their manners as they put every other team ahead of themselves in the RuReYd category this week. Justice Hill was the main culprit, managing -2 total yards.

This is the first time this year that Coach Billy Waters has had the same lineup in back-to-back games, and he might want to make it the last. He left Jake Moody and Zach Ertz on the bench in favor of Brandon Aubrey and Jake Ferguson, who were both expected to score less.

These decisions shaved 7 points from The Big Red Machine's score. Coach Waters has now cost his team points in both of the last two weeks.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. The Big Red Machine did what they were suppose to do against Jerrays Jerryatricians, but now they will have to step their game up agianst stiffer comptetion over the next two games, starting with The Brainers next week. The Brainers brings in the best player in the league over the past three weeks: Jalen Hurts.

In what should be a crawl to the finish, Jerrays Jerryatricians will take on Homesick Abortions next week in a battle between the two lowest scoring teams in the league. Jerrays Jerryatricians might be feeling extra confident about that game, as Homesick Abortions limps in on a four game losing streak.

This was expected to be a blowout, and Zombie Werewolves (9 - 2) didn't disappoint. They stomped all over Space Lords (5 - 6) 107 to 85. The two teams combined for the highest score so far this season.

The 85 points that Space Lords scored were the most they scored this year, just one week after setting their season low. Zombie Werewolves managed to do even better. The 107 points they scored were the most of anybody in the league this year.

Zombie Werewolves had two main stars in Joe Mixon and Amon-Ra St. Brown, who together tallied 45 points. Mixon's 25 point performance topped all but one running back so far this season.

Zombie Werewolves also got a big effort from Joe Burrow (9.4 points above expected). Burrow showed off his elusiveness on Sunday, but (again) it still wasn't enough to secure the W.

Coach Patrick jolle's squad overcame bad performances from three players: the Jets Defense/ST, Mark Andrews, and Derrick Henry, who collectively came up with 12 points. Coach Jolle have to be used to bad scores from the Jets, who have been the worst performer on Zombie Werewolves more times than any other player.

Space Lords had never won when Evan Engram failed to hit his expected points, and that held true again this week. Engram and Alvin Kamara combined to record 5 points for Space Lords. Engram has now underperformed the league average tight end in three straight games. He is in the midst of a troubling sequence, having seen his point total fall every week for the last three weeks.

In most other games, Space Lords' five overperforming players (led by Saquon Barkley, 21 points) would have brought home a win.1 SaQuads' 21 point performance this week moves him up to being the 5th best player in the league this season.

There are sure to be fireworks next week in Zombie Werewolves' game, as they take on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum in a battle between the two highest scoring teams in the league. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will also come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 80+ point games. Meanwhile, Space Lords will take on The Brainers next week.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse might have been looking to rest his nerves a bit after last week's nailbiter. He got the rest, and the win. The Brainers made it look easy against The Big Red Machine, winning 77 to 41. The win brings The Brainers' record to 7 - 4, while dropping The Big Red Machine to a matching 7 - 4.

Cooper Kupp and David Montgomery were the prime movers for The Brainers, scoring 18 and 16 points, respectively. Kupp's 18 points represent the most he's had this year. After catching this dart, he just jogged the rest of the way for a 69-yard score.

Meanwhile, Nick Chubb, Bijan Robinson, and Dawson Knox each failed to come up with more than 2 points for The Big Red Machine this week. Robinson's performances have been a good barometer for The Big Red Machine this season, as they have gone 2 - 4 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 5 - 0 when he meets them.

The Big Red Machine also had to deal with a poor effort from Deebo Samuel (5 points below expected). Underperforming is the new normal for Samuel, who has gone four straight games without hitting his projected point total. The Big Red Machine only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with the Broncos Defense/ST scoring 12 points.1

The Big Red Machine needs to step their game up if they don't want the same results as they had this week against The Brainers, because it doesn't get any easier from here. Next week begins a difficult two game set starting with Alcoholnics. Both The Big Red Machine and Alcoholnics will enter that game trying to recover from the beatings they each took this week. Meanwhile, The Brainers will be playing Space Lords next week.

In a week where there were five blowouts, this was the biggest. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum (7 - 4) left Big Tex's Pillow Biters (2 - 9) wondering where it all went wrong, winning 87 to 37. The win is part of a larger trend for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. In each of the last three weeks they have scored more points than the week before.

The 87 points that Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum dropped were the most they scored so far this year. On the other side of the coin, Big Tex's Pillow Biters' 37 points were the low score for the league this week.

The top two wide receivers in the league, Ja'Marr Chase and Nico Collins, squared off in this one, but only one of them lived up to their billing. For Chase's part, he notched 15 points for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. He has become something of a lodestar for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, as they have never lost when he overperforms his expectations, going 6 - 0.

On the other hand, Collins was not living up to his star status, producing only 2 points. That's the fewest points that he's scored so far this year.

The other players on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum kept up with Chase, coming up with 72 points. That group was led by Breece Hall, who scored 17 points. Hall's performance this week stopped his three game streak of not meeting his projections.

It was important for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to get the victory, as Big Tex's Pillow Biters will be the easiest game they will face for a while. The next three games are against winning teams, starting with Zombie Werewolves next week. The scoreboard operator might be kept busy in that one, as those are the two highest scoring teams in the league. Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with Jerrays Jerryatricians.

It's probably been tough for Coach Chris Crowder to stay awake while following his recent games. The last two games have been blowouts, and this week was just more of the same. Homesick Abortions got absolutely demolished by Jerrays Jerryatricians, losing 86 to 39. That point total sent Homesick Abortions to the bottom of the points standings for the season.

The defeat is the 5th in a row for Homesick Abortions, putting their record at 3 - 8. The win brings Jerrays Jerryatricians to an identical 3 - 8.

After coming up with all of 4 points last week, Jared Goff came up clutch this week. Although Jerrays Jerryatricians won with a balanced effort, Goff was just a bit ahead of the others, racking up 30 points. He exploded on Sunday, posting season-highs in passing yards (412) and touchdowns (4) to go with a perfect passer rating.

Another overperformer, the Texans Defense/ST, was the best at their position this week. Jerrays Jerryatricians won despite bad games from Romeo Doubs, T.J. Hockenson, and CeeDee Lamb, who together scored 4 points. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Doubs, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions had a very balanced lineup, but it was balanced at too low of a level. The balance was negatively biased but balanced nonetheless, as no player scored better than average, while Brandon McManus fell 5.9 points below the average K which was the worst performance on the team. McManus' 2 points were the fewest of any kicker this week.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. A loss this week to Jerrays Jerryatricians does not bode well for Homesick Abortions, as their next three games are against tougher competition, starting with the 6-5 Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Pinko Commie Bastards comes into the match on a four game winning streak.

As for Jerrays Jerryatricians, they will square off against Big Tex's Pillow Biters. That team will limp into the contest having posted only 37 points this week.

Pinko Commie Bastards had the good fortune of having the league's best player this week in Taysom Hill.1 Hill led the way as Pinko Commie Bastards destroyed Alcoholnics, winning 80 to 45. His 23 point performance this week moves him up to being the 2nd best tight end in the league this season. He did it all this week: he rushed for three TDs, racked up 50 receiving yards, and threw this dime.

The game would have been an even bigger blowout if Pinko Commie Bastards had Chris Boswell and his 24 points in the starting lineup. No other player riding the pine did better this week.

Alcoholnics are bound to have a hard time winning when Lamar Jackson has a bad week, and that's just what happened. Jackson was the worst of six underperformers, putting up 9 points.2 His performance this week broke his four game streak of surpassing his projections.

Terry McLaurin has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 6.4 fewer points than he was expected to. McLaurin secured just one target for 10 yards on Thursday, both season lows.

That's four straight wins for Pinko Commie Bastards, for those of you counting, which gives them a 6 - 5 record. Thanks to the loss, Alcoholnics have now come out on the losing end of three of their last four games, moving their record to 6 - 5.

Pinko Commie Bastards have a lucky matchup set for next week. They play Homesick Abortions, a team currently on a five game losing skid. As for Alcoholnics, Alcoholnics will try to get back to their winning ways as they have performed uncharacteristically bad of late, losing two games in a row. They will try to turn things around against The Big Red Machine next week. Unfortunately, for Alcoholnics, they will have to put their running back depth to the test in that one, as James Cook has his bye week.

Tua Tagovailoa made it into the starting lineup for the first time this week, and he definitely made the most of it. Tagovailoa was the key component as Zombie Werewolves wound up with a solid victory against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 54 to 42. His 26 points were the most that any quarterback collected this week. He delivered a dominant performance this week: his 317 passing yards marked the first time he's eclipsed the 300-yard mark since Week 1 and his 4 passing TDs were a season-high.

Meanwhile, Brian Robinson Jr. and Cedric Tillman put a big hurt on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's chances this week, scoring -1 points between them. Tillman scored -1 points, which were the fewest of any wide receiver this season.

The Vikings Defense/ST have to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 5.2 fewer points than they were expected to. The Vikings' performance this week broke their three game streak of surpassing their projections. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Aaron Jones scoring 10 points.1

The loss drops Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to 7 - 5, while the win brings Zombie Werewolves to 10 - 2.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum was the hardest test Zombie Werewolves will face for a while, as its next three games are against sub .500 teams, starting with Big Tex's Pillow Biters next week. As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will match up with The Brainers. Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's team just had a huge week, having posted 81 points.

The experts had Pinko Commie Bastards winning this one easy. The experts were all kinds of right. Pinko Commie Bastards crushed Homesick Abortions, winning 51 to 27. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days. Pinko Commie Bastards has been involved in five straight blowout games, while this is the 4th straight blowout game for Homesick Abortions.

Pinko Commie Bastards have now finished off five straight opponents after this win, bringing their record to 7 - 5. The loss is the 6th straight for Homesick Abortions, dropping their record to 3 - 9.

Patrick Mahomes separated himself from the rest of the crew on Pinko Commie Bastards, totaling 23 points. That's the most points that he's scored this year. KC nearly lost to the lowly Panthers this week, but thanks to some Mahomes heroics they escaped with (another) close win.

The only real bad apple in Pinko Commie Bastards' orchard this week was Christian McCaffrey, who scored zero points.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions had many underperformers, but Brock Purdy stood out, totaling zero points. That performance was worse than every other player this week.1 He has now been the worst performer on Homesick Abortions more times than any other player.

The 49ers Defense/ST falling 3.8 points short of their expectations didn't help matters much either. The 49ers have now failed to top the league average Defense/ST in seven straight games. Homesick Abortions only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Brandon McManus scoring 10 points.

Two 7 - 5 teams will do battle next week when Pinko Commie Bastards takes on The Big Red Machine. Homesick Abortions' next three games are against winning teams, starting with Alcoholnics next week.

Jerrays Jerryatricians had traditionally struggled against Big Tex's Pillow Biters, losing every one of the the 3 games that they've played, but Coach Todd Marquis put those struggles in the rear view mirror this week. Jerrays Jerryatricians strolled past Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 72 to 56. Jerrays Jerryatricians have now scored 158 points over the last two weeks, which is quite a turnaround given that they were the lowest scoring team in the league at the beginning of that stretch.

Jerrays Jerryatricians are now 4 - 8 after picking up their first back-to-back wins of the season. The loss drops Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 2 - 10.

Jerrays Jerryatricians got more than half their points from just two players: Josh Jacobs and the Texans Defense/ST. A good performance by Jacobs has been crucial for Jerrays Jerryatricians all year, as they have gone 4 - 1 when he exceeds expectations, and 0 - 5 when he doesn't. He scored three rushing touchdowns on Sunday (and that's despite dealing with cramps in the third quarter).

Jared Goff provided the only truly sour note for Jerrays Jerryatricians this week, as he scored 5 points. Goff fell farther short of his expected points than any other player.

Meanwhile, two players stood out for their poor performance on Big Tex's Pillow Biters, with Jonathan Taylor and Quentin Johnston combining to score only 1 point. Johnston's performance this week ended a three game streak of beating the experts' projections.

The strength of schedule diverges for these squads next week. Jerrays Jerryatricians will be going against Space Lords. Good timing, as Space Lords will come into the matchup on a three game losing streak. That game will see both of this week's top running backs square off, when Josh Jacobs matches up against Saquon Barkley.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters' loss this week is especially bad as it represented the last easy game they will have for a while. The next three games are against winning teams, starting with Zombie Werewolves next week. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will face off against Joe Burrow in that game, part of a three game stretch against tough quarterbacks which will see them take on Jalen Hurts and Joe Burrow in the following weeks.

Coach Billy Waters has made more lineup changes than any other coach in the league, but couldn't find the right mix this week. He went with Jake Moody and Will Dissly over the higher ranked Brandon Aubrey and Zach Ertz.

These terrible decisions took a 12 point chunk out of The Big Red Machine's final score, which--thankfully for Coach Waters--didn't matter much this game as they suffered a huge loss to Alcoholnics (7 - 5), going down 70 to 48.

Alcoholnics got a nice group performance in the win, as four players beat their positional averages. De'Von Achane was the best of the bunch, delivering 14 points.1 Terry McLaurin helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 5 points. The overwhelming majority of McLaurin's 102 receiving yards came from this clutch 86-yard TD.

Wil Lutz was kept on Alcoholnics' bench in the victory, but he didn't let that discourage him, as he went off for 22 points. Lutz's performance this week was better than every other bench-rider in the league.

Meanwhile, it will be difficult for Coach Waters to fault any one player for the loss. D'Andre Swift was the worst of a six man group of underperformers on The Big Red Machine, dropping only 2 points.2 This is the 2nd time this year that he was the worst starter on his team. Another underperformer, kicker Jake Moody, was the worst at his position this week.

After having lost two games in a row, Coach Waters will try to get his team back to playing at the high level they were earlier in the season. They face Pinko Commie Bastards next week. Bad timing for The Big Red Machine, as Pinko Commie Bastards will come into the matchup on a five game winning streak.

As for Alcoholnics, they will square off against Homesick Abortions. That team will limp into next week's game having posted less than 45 points each of the last four games.

The Brainers beat Space Lords both times they played last year and kept that trend going this week. The Brainers got past Space Lords without much trouble, winning 81 to 67. In addition to the win, The Brainers completed their 3rd straight game of scoring more points than the week before.

The win brings The Brainers to 8 - 4, and sends them to the top of our internal power rankings. The loss drops Space Lords' record to 5 - 7.

The Brainers had plenty of players step up in the win, as seven starters beat their positional averages. Jahmyr Gibbs was the first among equals, delivering 16 points. Gibbs gave the Lions the lead with his first touchdown on Sunday, then extended it with his second.

The Brainers also got a better-than-expected performance from A.J. Brown, who beat his projections by 4.2 points. Brown's performance this week ended a four game streak of failing to hit his projections.

Although Coach Chuck Rittenhouse got the win, he cannot have been happy with Jalen Hurts' performance this week. Hurts failed to show up, scoring 9 points. Coach Rittenhouse has to be used to bad scores from Hurts, who has been the worst performer on The Brainers more times than any other player.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of chefs cooking up this week's loss for Space Lords. They were brought down by five underperformers, the worst of whom was the Giants Defense/ST (2 points).1 It's yet another disappointing day for the Giants, who have now underperformed the experts' predictions in five straight games.

Space Lords wound up with their high point total courtesy of three overperformers. Saquon Barkley scored 28 points to pace the group. After SaQuads' performance this week, he moved up to being the best player in the league.

Next week will see Space Lords taking on the 4 - 8 Jerrays Jerryatricians. Jerrays Jerryatricians have been racking up the points recently, posting two straight 65+ point games. Meanwhile, The Brainers will take on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week.

Jerrays Jerryatricians (5 - 8) didn't have too many spare points in their win against Space Lords (5 - 8), taking this one 51 to 48. Big time luck for Jerrays Jerryatricians in this contest, as they would have lost against all but one other team.

Both squads keep their momentum (or in the case of Space Lords, "momentum") going as a result of this match. The victory makes it three in a row for Jerrays Jerryatricians. The loss makes it four in a row for Space Lords.

Chase McLaughlin had been fairly quiet since week five's performance, but finally awoke from his slumber this week. McLaughlin was the clear leader on Jerrays Jerryatricians, posting 16 points. His performance this week ended a five game streak of failing to perform at a league average level.

There were six underperformers keeping Jerrays Jerryatricians from a proper victory, with Isiah Pacheco (2 points) being the worst of them.1 Pacheco's 2 point performance made him the worst performer on Jerrays Jerryatricians for the first time this year.

The Giants Defense/ST's performance has been one of the main reasons that Space Lords has been on a losing streak, and this week was a case in point. The Giants and Bo Nix gave Space Lords 0 and 7 points, respectively. The Giants' 0 point performance was the worst of any Defense/ST this week. They have now been the worst performer on Space Lords more times than any other player.

As far as good performances for Space Lords, Nick Westbrook-Ikhine stuck out with 15 points. Westbrook-Ikhine set his high mark for the season with that effort.

Coach Brad Householder have to be kicking themself for their lineup decisions this week. They left Spencer Shrader in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points.

That cost their team 12 points, which cost their team the game. No other coach this week cost their team more points with their lineup choices than Coach Householder.

The schedule for Jerrays Jerryatricians brings The Big Red Machine around next week. That will be a rematch from week ten, when Jerrays Jerryatricians lost 40 to 35.

Meanwhile, Space Lords will be playing Zombie Werewolves. Space Lords will be attempting to give Zombie Werewolves their first back-to-back losses next week.

Zombie Werewolves had the best record in the league coming into this game, but unfortunately for Coach Patrick jolle, the past was not prelude. Zombie Werewolves lost to Big Tex's Pillow Biters, 71 to 62. The loss drops Zombie Werewolves' record to 10 - 3, while the win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters to 3 - 10.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters relied heavily on Jayden Daniels, who recorded 24 points. This is the 2nd time this year that Daniels has led Big Tex's Pillow Biters. He torched Tennessee's defense to the tune of four total touchdowns on Sunday: three through the air and one on the ground.

Big Tex's Pillow Biters also got a big effort from Jonathan Taylor (4.8 points above expected). Taylor's performance this week stopped his four game streak of not meeting his projections.

Meanwhile, while balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn't help Zombie Werewolves this week. The Jets Defense/ST paced the team by beating the average Defense/ST by 3.9 points, while Derrick Henry (3.2 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team. King Henry's 5 points were the fewest he has scored this year. He has now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

Zombie Werewolves will face off against Space Lords next week. Space Lords will get to slot Saquon Barkley into the lineup, who has been the best player in the league over the past three weeks.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters will collide with The Brainers next week. That team is not coming in very hot, after finishing this week with only 39 points. They won't have Nico Collins available to start in the contest.

Homesick Abortions came into this week on a six game losing streak, and went ahead and signed up for more punishment. They ended up pretty far behind in this one, losing 85 to 70 to Alcoholnics. Tough luck loss for Homesick Abortions, who would have won against six other teams this week.

The loss drops Homesick Abortions' record to 3 - 10, while the win brings Alcoholnics to 8 - 5.

Alcoholnics were led by the tag team of Terry McLaurin and the Cowboys Defense/ST, who together scored 32 points. Alcoholnics is still perfect in games where McLaurin overperforms, going 4 - 0.

James Cook helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 6.6 points. Over half of Cook's 107 rushing yards came from this unbelievable 65-yard score.

Meanwhile, Homesick Abortions can place the blame for this loss squarely on Trevor Lawrence, who scored -2 points. No other quarterback has scored fewer points than that this season. Sunday wasn't his day: he only completed four passes and tossed a pick before he was forced out of the game with a (brutal) concussion.

The five overperformers on Coach Chris Crowder's squad did their part to balance things out (and then some). David Njoku was the best of them, scoring 14 points. Njoku overperformed his expectations by more than any other player.

Next week will feature a mirror image matchup as the 8 - 5 Alcoholnics will take on the 8 - 5 Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will enter the game with Ja'Marr Chase, who has been the best player in the league. As for Homesick Abortions, they will square off against Pinko Commie Bastards next week.

Pinko Commie Bastards came into this week's match-up on a five-game win streak, but The Big Red Machine put an end to that. The Big Red Machine destroyed Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 74 to 52. Blowouts are par for the course for these teams these days. The Big Red Machine has been involved in three straight blowout games, while this is the 6th straight blowout game for Pinko Commie Bastards.

The win brings The Big Red Machine's record to 8 - 5, while dropping Pinko Commie Bastards to 7 - 6.

Josh Allen was the key contributor for The Big Red Machine, putting up 24 points. Allen's performance on Sunday night took him from the 5th best quarterback to the 3rd best quarterback in the league. He became the first QB to have a passing, rushing, and receiving touchdown in the same game (even better, he was on both ends of that reception).

Coach Billy Waters also got 7 points out of Zach Ertz, who the experts thought should not have made the starting lineup. The game would have been an even bigger blowout if Coach Waters had put the Broncos Defense/ST (19 points) in the lineup. No other player riding the pine did better this week.

Meanwhile, Coach Erran Yearty can look to running backs Christian McCaffrey and Kenneth Walker III when passing out blame for the loss. The two combined to score only 4 points. That makes it five straight games where Walker III has underperformed the league average running back. McCaffrey and Walker III had plenty of company, with Patrick Mahomes (11 points) being the worst of four other underperformers.

Next week will see The Big Red Machine taking on the 5 - 8 Jerrays Jerryatricians. Unfortunately for The Big Red Machine, Jerrays Jerryatricians are coming into their matchup on a three game winning streak.

As for Pinko Commie Bastards, they will match up with Homesick Abortions. Pinko Commie Bastards will get to face Homesick Abortions while that squad is in the middle of a seven game losing streak.

The Brainers entered this week's game with a three game winning streak, but couldn't keep it going against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum gave The Brainers a 60 to 39 drubbing.

The win was Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 8 - 5. The loss drops The Brainers' record to an identical 8 - 5.

Bucky Irving was expected to be the worst performing RB this week, but apparently that was just fuel for the fire. Irving joined up with Brock Bowers and Ja'Marr Chase to drop 37 points. That makes it three straight games where Irving has outperformed the league average running back. He racked up 185 total yards on Sunday thanks in part to big plays like this.

The only real damper on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's victory came from Justin Herbert, who scored 4 points. Herbert's performance definitively ended a five game streak of beating the experts' projections.

Meanwhile, The Brainers were having trouble reaching paydirt, getting into the end zone only one time. That was the lowest TDs total of any team this week. The Brainers suffered from five zeros in that category, one of which came from Jahmyr Gibbs, who wasn't better in other stat categories.

Coach Robert Wetzel's gameday decisions have been some of the worst in the league this season, and this week they showed why. They started Justin Herbert instead of Sam Darnold, despite the experts' prediction that Darnold should have played.

This decision cost Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum a total of 11 points, which ultimately didn't make a difference in the final outcome. Coach Wetzel's risk taking this game is out of character, as they have been one of the most cautious tacticians in the league.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. Next week, Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum will take on the 8 - 5 Alcoholnics. Alcoholnics will come into the game with some momentum, having posted back-to-back 70+ point games. The game will be a rematch from week ten, when Ja'Marr Chase went off for 33 points.

The Brainers' next game will be against Big Tex's Pillow Biters in a rematch from week six. The Brainers won the previous matchup easily. Big Tex's Pillow Biters will have to play without Nico Collins, who has a bye week.

After losing four straight games, Coach Brad Householder's squad figured: 'Why not another?' Space Lords came up a little short versus Zombie Werewolves, losing 38 to 35. The two teams combined to score the fewest points this season.

The loss drops Space Lords to 5 - 9, and sinks them to the bottom of our internal power rankings. The win brings Zombie Werewolves to 11 - 3.

Zombie Werewolves were led by the one-man team of Joe Burrow, who was responsible for more than half of his team's points. That's all in a day's work for the 3rd best quarterback in the league.

Despite winning, Zombie Werewolves struggled to score points due to six underperforming players, of whom Kareem Hunt (zero points) was the worst. Underperforming is the new normal for Hunt, who has gone five straight games without hitting his projected point total.

Meanwhile, Space Lords really lost this game as a team. They had six underperformers, with Geno Smith (9 points) being the worst.1 Coach Householder have to be used to bad scores from Smith, who has been the worst performer on Space Lords more times than any other player.

Space Lords also had to deal with a poor effort from Jayden Reed (6 points below expected). Reed turned in a goose egg by failing to catch his lone target on Thursday. Space Lords only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Jake Bates scoring 11 points.

Next week, Space Lords will take on the 8 - 6 Alcoholnics. Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves will collide with Big Tex's Pillow Biters.

It's not that hard to win when you get the league's top performance for the season, and Josh Allen delivered that performance. The Big Red Machine earned a nice victory over Jerrays Jerryatricians, winning 85 to 78 behind 44 points from Josh Allen. Allen hasn't been messing around recently, performing better than any other starter over the last three weeks. He became the first player in NFL history with three passing touchdowns and three rushing touchdowns in a game.

The Big Red Machine won despite bad games from Nick Chubb, Will Dissly, and the Chiefs Defense/ST, who together dropped 7 points. Bad performances are pretty common these days for the Chiefs, who have now underperformed the experts' predictions in seven straight games.

Meanwhile, Isiah Pacheco and Chase McLaughlin were double trouble for Jerrays Jerryatricians, together notching only 6 points. In most other games, Jerrays Jerryatricians' five overperforming players (led by Josh Jacobs, 21 points) would have brought home a win. That makes it four straight games of overperforming expectations for Jacobs.

The win brings The Big Red Machine's record to 9 - 5, while dropping Jerrays Jerryatricians to 5 - 9.

The Big Red Machine will be going against Pinko Commie Bastards next week. The Big Red Machine have now been an underdog in both the last two weeks, and won both times. Maybe they'll get a bit more credit going into their next one.

Meanwhile, Jerrays Jerryatricians will be playing Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week. That contest will be a rematch from week three, when Jerrays Jerryatricians ended up getting crushed by 25 points.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum got past Alcoholnics with points to spare, winning 71 to 57. The win must seem like deja vu for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, who won the last game with Alcoholnics by a 80 to 63 margin. The win brings Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's record to 9 - 5, while dropping Alcoholnics to 8 - 6.

Most of Coach Robert Wetzel's team were basically spectating, as Sam Darnold and Ja'Marr Chase combined for 73% of Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's points. Darnold alone scored 32 points, which topped all but three players this season. He exploded on Sunday, posting career-highs in passing yards (347) and touchdowns (5).

It was, unfortunately, a costly win for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum. Bucky Irving took an early exit from Sunday's game due to nagging injuries, finishing with just 18 total yards.

James Cook has been clutch for Alcoholnics this year, but failed to show up this week. Cook loomed large in the loss for Alcoholnics, producing 1 point. He has now been the worst performing starter in the league over the last three weeks.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum won this game despite, rather than because of, Coach Wetzel's lineup moves. They started Keenan Allen instead of Davante Adams, despite the experts' prediction that Adams should have played.

This decision took a 10 point chunk out of Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's final score, and makes it back-to-back weeks now where Coach Wetzel have cost their team points.

The schedule for Alcoholnics brings Space Lords around next week. Alcoholnics might be feeling pretty confident about that game, as Space Lords limps in on a five game losing streak. As for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, they will square off against Jerrays Jerryatricians.

Coach Chris Crowder definitely did not have the best game personally, but his team managed to rise above his mistakes. Homesick Abortions got the job done against Pinko Commie Bastards, winning 65 to 56. The victory ended Homesick Abortions' seven game losing streak.

The win brings Homesick Abortions' record to 4 - 10, while dropping Pinko Commie Bastards to 7 - 7.

Justin Jefferson separated himself from the rest of the crew on Homesick Abortions, delivering 19 points. That's the most points that he's scored this year. Jefferson's performance this week also ended a six game streak of failing to hit his projections.

Homesick Abortions also got a better-than-expected performance from Kyren Williams, who beat his projections by 8.2 points. Williams got the Rams on the board with his first touchdown of the day, then extended their lead with his second.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards saw four different players underperform, and while none of them particularly stuck out, Patrick Mahomes and his 9 points was officially the worst.1 Showtime's 9 points made him the worst starter on his team for the 5th time this season, which is more than any other player on Pinko Commie Bastards.

Although one coach got the win, neither coach distinguished themselves with their roster choices. Coach Crowder has had the most stable lineup in the league, but that consistency wasn't helpful this week. He left Trevor Lawrence in the lineup, despite the fact that he was a guaranteed zero points. He also left the Panthers Defense/ST in the lineup (the 49ers Defense/ST would have been 9 points better). He has been outsmarted by the experts more than any other coach in the league this season, having cost his team 57 points.

Coach Erran Yearty could have made Coach Crowder pay if he set the best possible lineup. Coach Yearty went with Drake London over the higher ranked Tyreek Hill.

This decision shaved 8 points from Pinko Commie Bastards' score. If Coach Yearty had left London on the bench and also started Jordan Addison, Pinko Commie Bastards would have won the game.

Next week, Homesick Abortions will be playing The Brainers. These two teams squared off in week one, when Homesick Abortions ended up getting crushed by 23 points.

Meanwhile, Pinko Commie Bastards will take on The Big Red Machine. The game will be a rematch from week thirteen, and Coach Yearty will hope to avoid Josh Allen dropping another 24 points for The Big Red Machine this time.

The Brainers torched Big Tex's Pillow Biters back in week six by 22 points, and showed no mercy in the rematch. In the only blowout this week, The Brainers crushed Big Tex's Pillow Biters, winning 77 to 54. No big surprise seeing The Brainers get the win, as they were the biggest favorite of any team this week.

They improve to 9 - 5 after winning four out of their last five games. The loss was Big Tex's Pillow Biters' 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 3 - 11.

The Brainers were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. Jason Sanders topped the kicker average by 7.4 points to lead the team, while A.J. Brown fell only 3.4 points short of the average WR in bringing up the rear. Sanders has become something of a lodestar for The Brainers, as they have never lost when he overperforms his expectations, going 4 - 0.

Meanwhile, Big Tex's Pillow Biters had plenty of duds in the loss. Tyler Bass was the worst of a four man group of underperformers, posting only 6 points.1 Bass has now failed to top the league average kicker in three straight games.

The Brainers wasn't just winning on the field this week, but also chalked up a win in the front office. Coach Chuck Rittenhouse took a flier on Isaac Guerendo and saw him put up a very promising 17 points.

Next week will see Big Tex's Pillow Biters taking on the 11 - 3 Zombie Werewolves. Points were in short supply for that team this week, as they could only scrounge up 38 of them. As for The Brainers, they will match up with Homesick Abortions.

Coach William Hayes looked like he was trying to give away this game with his lineup decisions, but the team just wouldn't quit. Big Tex's Pillow Biters got past Zombie Werewolves, winning 73 to 66. The win must seem like deja vu for Big Tex's Pillow Biters, who won the last game with Zombie Werewolves by a 71 to 62 margin.

The win brings Big Tex's Pillow Biters' record to 4 - 11, while dropping Zombie Werewolves to 11 - 4.

Chase Brown led a very balanced group of five overperformers for Big Tex's Pillow Biters this week, producing 16 points.1 Good performances are nothing new for Brown, who has been the top performer on Big Tex's Pillow Biters more times than any other player. He got Cincinnati on the board with his first touchdown, then effectively iced the game with his second.

Meanwhile, Zombie Werewolves had a very balanced lineup, but it was balanced at too low of a level. Amon-Ra St. Brown paced the team by beating the average wide receiver by 7.1 points, while Joe Mixon (5.5 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team.

Coach Hayes' gameday decisions have been the worst in the league this season, and this week showed why. He started three players that the experts thought should be riding the pine. One of those picks, Quentin Johnston, worked out. The other picks, the Jaguars Defense/ST and Jonathan Taylor, did not.

Overall, these moves cost Big Tex's Pillow Biters a total of 17 points. Coach Hayes has had his hands full trying to manage Rico Dowdle, as he has averaged 5.5 points on the bench and 2.7 points in the starting lineup.

The Brainers didn't have too much trouble with Homesick Abortions this week, winning 72 to 51. The win brings The Brainers' record to 10 - 5, while dropping Homesick Abortions to 4 - 11.

The Brainers won with a balanced effort, as five players outperformed their positional averages. Jahmyr Gibbs was just a bit ahead of the others, putting up 17 points.1 This is the 4th time this year that Gibbs has paced The Brainers.

The Brainers also got a big effort from Jalen Hurts (6.3 points above expected). Hurts silenced the critics who took issue with Philly's passing game last week, throwing for 290 yards and a pair of TDs.

Coach Chuck Rittenhouse's squad managed to rise above the bad efforts from Cooper Kupp and David Montgomery (1 point total). For just the second time in his career, Kupp was held without a catch this week.

Meanwhile, Brock Purdy was the main culprit in Homesick Abortions' loss, scoring no points.2 Mr. Relevant fell farther short of his expected points than any other player this week. He has now been the worst performer on Homesick Abortions more times than any other player.

Adding to their problems, one of Homesick Abortions' running backs, Najee Harris, was the worst at his position this week.

Jerrays Jerryatricians felt the sting of a 25 point loss to Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back in week three, and made darn sure there would be no repeat this week. Jerrays Jerryatricians stomped all over Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum 88 to 64. Blowouts are nothing new to Coach Todd Marquis, since Jerrays Jerryatricians has been involved in the most blowout games of anybody in league so far.

The win brings Jerrays Jerryatricians' record to 6 - 9, while dropping Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum to 9 - 6.

Coach Marquis didn't rely on their All-Stars to pull this one out, instead getting contributions from unexpected quarters. Jared Goff scored 35 points, Chase McLaughlin came up with 18, and CeeDee Lamb finished with 11. Goff's 35 points were the 2nd most of any quarterback this season. He became the first player in NFL history to throw for 400+ yards, 5+ touchdowns, no interceptions… and lose.

The only real bad apple in Jerrays Jerryatricians' orchard this week was Isiah Pacheco, who scored 1 point. It's yet another disappointing day for Pacheco, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in four straight games.

Meanwhile, Sam Darnold was clearly the weakest link for Coach Robert Wetzel and the gang as he dropped 7 points.1 Darnold must have gotten tired from racking up 32 points last week. He has now been the worst performer on Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum more times than any other player.

Ja'Marr Chase falling 6 points short of his expectations didn't help matters much either. Chase's performances have closely tracked the fortunes of Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum this season, as they have gone 1 - 5 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 8 - 0 when he meets them.

Coach Marquis did their part to secure the victory this week. They started four players that the experts thought should be riding the pine.

Overall, these moves gave Jerrays Jerryatricians an extra 11 points, which only added to Jerrays Jerryatricians' domination. After their decisions this week, Coach Marquis' lineup moves are now a net-plus for the year.

Things were lining up pretty well for Alcoholnics coming into this one. They had scored the most points of any team over the last three weeks, while Space Lords had scored the fewest points of any team over the last three weeks. The final result then, was unsurprising.

Alcoholnics demolished Space Lords, winning 90 to 51. With the win, Alcoholnics have now won three out of their last four games, bringing their record to 9 - 6. This loss brings Space Lords' losing streak to six in a row, which leaves them with a 5 - 10 record.

Lamar Jackson and Saquon Barkley, league-leaders at the quarterback and running back positions, faced off in this one. Only one of them, however, lived up to expectations. Jackson did great for Alcoholnics, recording 31 points. He set his high mark for the season with that effort.

On the flip side, SaQuads was not having a typical Saquon Barkley week, delivering only 3 points. Unfortunately, more bad performances might be on tap for Barkley, who has seen his point total drop in each of the last three weeks.

The rest of Coach Nick Claeboe's lineup followed Jackson's lead, scoring 59 more points. Of that crew, James Cook led the way with 18 points. Cook dodged multiple defenders (and an unplanned haircut) when he scored this huge touchdown on Sunday.

Alcoholnics wasn't just winning on the field this week, but also chalked up a win in the front office. Coach Claeboe picked up the Chiefs Defense/ST off the waiver wire and saw them score 21 points (on the bench, but still).

Next week will see Alcoholnics taking on the 10 - 5 Brainers. That will be a rematch from week nine, when Alcoholnics won in a blowout.

Space Lords will play Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum next week in a matchup featuring the two top players in the league (Saquon Barkley for Space Lords and Ja'Marr Chase for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum). The game will be a rematch from week nine, and Coach Brad Householder will no doubt be hoping that Saquon Barkley can drop 19 points like he did last time.

The Big Red Machine (10 - 5) came into the game on a four game streak of improving their point total. They broke their streak, but still got the W. Coach Billy Waters' squad skated by Pinko Commie Bastards (7 - 8) pretty easily, winning 76 to 61. The win is more of the same for The Big Red Machine, who won the last game with Pinko Commie Bastards by the score of 74 to 52.

The result fits the recent pattern for both of these teams. The Big Red Machine have now won three games in a row. The defeat puts Pinko Commie Bastards on a three game losing streak.

Throughout The Big Red Machine's winning streak, Josh Allen has been coming up with big performances. This week was no different. Allen was the clear leader on The Big Red Machine, posting 32 points. He has now gone three weeks without dipping below the average quarterback's points. He threw for a season-high 362 yards this week, also extending his streak of games with multiple passing touchdowns and no picks to three.

Meanwhile, Coach Erran Yearty will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. Pinko Commie Bastards were brought down by five underperformers, the worst of whom was Tyrone Tracy Jr. (1 point).

Coach Waters might have gotten the victory this week, but it wasn't due to his efforts. He left the Broncos Defense/ST and their 9.6 expected points on the bench, favoring the Commanders Defense/ST (5.4 points expected).

This terrible decision cost The Big Red Machine a total of 12 points, which--thankfully for Coach Waters--didn't matter much this game. Despite things not working out, expect more risk taking from Coach Waters, who has gone against the experts more times than any other coach in the league.

Space Lords came into this week on a six game losing streak, and went ahead and signed up for more punishment. They fell to Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, 74 to 67. Space Lords beat Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum back in week nine, so the turnabout this week was fair play.

With the loss, Space Lords will close the season at 5 - 11. The win was Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum's 3rd in their last four games, bringing their record to 10 - 6.

Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum didn't have any huge performances this week, but also didn't have anybody who really dropped the ball. Ja'Marr Chase was the best player, scoring 10, while Aaron Jones was the worst on the team with 4.1 Chase's 10 point performance is no surprise, as he is currently the best wide receiver in the league.

Meanwhile, this week's loss for Space Lords was a true group effort. Puka Nacua was the worst of a five man group of underperformers, recording only 2 points.2 Nacua has now been the worst starter on his team two times this season.

Saquon Barkley and the Bengals Defense/ST, scoring 37 points, did their best to make a game of it for Space Lords. Barkley flexed his speed (again) this week with this 68-yard score.

Alcoholnics started the post-season off with a bang. They made it look easy against The Brainers, winning 88 to 64. The win is more of the same for Alcoholnics, who won the last game with The Brainers by the similarly triumphant score of 85 to 61.

The Brainers will finish their season at 10 - 6. The win brings Alcoholnics to an identical 10 - 6.

Running backs James Cook and De'Von Achane were the key contributors, producing 18 and 16 points, respectively. Achane's performance this week stopped his three game streak of not meeting his projections. San Francisco couldn't do a thing to stop him when he ran in this 50-yard score.

Meanwhile, Jalen Hurts stuck out as the worst performer for The Brainers, putting up only 2 points.1 That performance was worse than every other player this week.2 He completed just one pass before he was ruled out with a concussion on Sunday.

Coming into the game, Zombie Werewolves had scored the second fewest points of any team over the last three weeks. They didn't dwell on the past this game though, as they scored a metric ton of points. Coach Patrick jolle's boys crushed Alcoholnics, winning 105 to 72. Zombie Werewolves not only got the win, but posted the 2nd highest scoring game of the year.

The win brings Zombie Werewolves to 12 - 4, and sends them to the top of our internal power rankings. Alcoholnics ends their 2024 campaign with a 10 - 7 mark.

This contest featured the top performing player this week in Tee Higgins, and not surprisingly, he played on the winning team.1 Higgins and Joe Burrow were the standouts for Coach Jolle; the dynamic duo together accounted for 52 points. Higgins caught three touchdowns this week, one of which was the game-winner in overtime.

The Raiders Defense/ST helped out as well, exceeding their projected point total by 5.1 points. The Raiders scored 12 points, which is the most they've gotten this year. Joe Mixon provided the only truly sour note for Zombie Werewolves this week, as he scored 1 point.

Terry McLaurin had avoided having a bad day for Alcoholnics since week eleven's 0 point performance, but he sure didn't have it this week. McLaurin was part of a three man group of troublemakers, teaming up with De'Von Achane and Wil Lutz to drop 7 points. McLaurin's performance this week ended a four game streak of beating the league average. He was targeted seven times this week but only managed to come down with one catch for five yards.

Coach Billy Waters definitely did not have the best game personally, but his team managed to rise above his mistakes. The Big Red Machine ended up on top against Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, winning 64 to 50. The win must seem like deja vu for The Big Red Machine, who won the last game with Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum by the score of 92 to 69.

The win brings The Big Red Machine's winning streak to four games, and gives them a record of 11 - 5. The loss brings the season to an end for Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum, who finishes at 10 - 7.

Bijan Robinson has been coming through for The Big Red Machine all year, and this week was no different. Robinson joined up with Zach Ertz to post 31 points. The Big Red Machine is still perfect in games where Robinson overperforms, going 8 - 0. He scored a pair of rushing touchdowns for the second week in a row on Sunday.

The Colts Defense/ST was expected to be the best D/ST this week, but ended up being the worst. The Colts were the worst of six underperformers, delivering zero points.

Ja'Marr Chase has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 5.4 fewer points than he was expected to. Bad performances are pretty common these days for Chase, who has now underperformed the experts' predictions in three straight games. Lo Pan's House of Dim Sum only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Sam Darnold scoring 20 points.

Coach Waters has made some poor lineup calls this week, but that's nothing new for one of the league's bottom-ranked coaches. He left Will Reichard and Jalen McMillan on the bench in favor of Brandon Aubrey and Deebo Samuel, who were both expected to score less.

These terrible decisions shaved 18 points from The Big Red Machine's score, which ultimately didn't make a difference in the final outcome. Going against the experts is the usual for Coach Waters, as he has taken more risks than any other coach in the league.

After an exciting season, the league now has its champion. The Big Red Machine gave Zombie Werewolves a 79 to 61 drubbing. Blowouts are nothing new to Coach Billy Waters, since The Big Red Machine has been involved in the most blowout games of anybody in league so far.

The Big Red Machine ended their triumphant season at 12 - 5. Zombie Werewolves will close their 2024 campaign at 12 - 5.

Bijan Robinson was the key contributor for The Big Red Machine, tallying 20 points. That's the most points that he's scored this year.

The Big Red Machine also got a better-than-expected performance from the Broncos Defense/ST, who beat their projections by 4.5 points. A 13 point day represents another fine effort from the Broncos, who are currently the best Defense/ST in the league.

Coach Waters' squad did well despite having to deal with Zay Flowers and Zach Charbonnet, who combined to total 3 points. Underperforming is the new normal for Flowers, who has gone six straight games without hitting his projected point total.

Meanwhile, two players stood out for their poor performance on Zombie Werewolves, with Joe Burrow and Joe Mixon combining to score only 9 points. Burrow's performances have been a good barometer for Zombie Werewolves this season, as they have gone 3 - 4 when he fails to meet his expectations, and 6 - 1 when he meets them.

Zombie Werewolves wound up with their high point total courtesy of three overperformers. Derrick Henry scored 19 points to pace the group. It's just another day at the office for Henry, who has led Zombie Werewolves more times than any other player.