Bama Boy

Team Story

jsuchip's Bama Boy drafted a real team in the 2023 startup: Jalen Hurts at 1.06, then Davante Adams, Trevor Lawrence, Joe Mixon, and George Kittle. It read like a playoff roster. It was not.

2023 collapsed into 1-14, the worst record in league history, on the fewest points scored in the field (1546.9). The only win came in Week 3, a 145.3-125.6 handling of Big Tex's, after which Bama Boy lost twelve straight to close the season. The consolation bracket was more of the same: blown out by Jameis' Crab Shack 112.1-197.2, then a face-saving 130.5-110.7 over Herbert the Perverts for ninth.

The 1-14 wreck bought the 1.01, and Bama Boy spent it on Marvin Harrison Jr. Everything flipped. 2024 came in at 10-5 and a five seed. They beat thompr 114.4-97.5 in the first round, ran into the Prodigies buzzsaw 118.2-154.1, then won the third-place game over 1-800-TRADER 153.6-127.3. Sharp waiver work for Khalil Shakir and Jameson Williams, two of the year's quietest wide receiver values, propped up the leap.

One team never let them enjoy it. Shartnado owned Bama Boy 0-4 across both seasons, both South Side rivals, and the cruelest came in Week 11 of 2023: a 113.4-113.6 loss by two-tenths of a point to the eventual back-to-back champion.

Then the franchise simply left. jsuchip's slot passed to the Alcoholniks in 2025, and Bama Boy never got to defend the worst-to-third jump. It stands as the best one-year arc the league has produced, closed on a high note nobody else chose to end on.